Author Topic: Buying an Engagement Ring  (Read 32661 times)

zippyc

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #50 on: July 21, 2014, 11:06:17 PM »
Hooray! You got yourself a good one, if she's willing to forgo the spendy diamond! I also think big diamond rings are a racket. If you really need to have one, I think you should have to be married for 10 years to earn it. I also second going with a "used" ring. If you think diamond rings increase or even retain their value, look at the price of a preowned one and then wonder how much they sold it for for the retailer to sell it for that price.

Also, I've noticed that jewelers like to write inflated appraisals for your ring to make you feel good. If you insure it for that amount, you are wasting your money. Insurance companies replace your ring through a wholesaler and they only spend what they have to in order to get you same like and quality, regardless of what your appraisal says. I knew my jeweler (friend) and made him write me a new appraisal for a lower amount, since he sold us the ring for $2000 less than he wanted to appraise it for.

lifejoy

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #51 on: July 22, 2014, 07:33:53 AM »

Looks like after showing her various alternatives to the traditional expensive big diamond ring, she's finding out for herself that, viewed from a purely financial perspective, a big diamond ring isn't a fantastic investment.  Now she's leaning toward a patterned gold band, perhaps with some tiny rubies studded in it, without a central stone.  She says she likes that type of ring better, even though it isn't the "traditional" engagement ring. Plus, the prices for those look to be a LOT cheaper.  I told her I'd invest the difference and take her on a great vacation with the earnings as an anniversary present.

Yep, SHE'S the gem, that's for sure!

Consider getting a cz and silver ring from berricle.com (like $20-30) if you guys have a pretty traditional group of friends/family and need something typical to show them. PM me if you're going that route. But sounds like you won't have to :)


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CanuckExpat

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #52 on: July 22, 2014, 02:36:12 PM »
Looks like after showing her various alternatives to the traditional expensive big diamond ring, she's finding out for herself that, viewed from a purely financial perspective, a big diamond ring isn't a fantastic investment...I told her I'd invest the difference and take her on a great vacation with the earnings as an anniversary present.

Glad to hear it is a happy ending :)

Jouer

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #53 on: July 22, 2014, 04:59:55 PM »
A friend of mine who is a retired jeweler made mine for my wife and shared these rules with me:

- (as someone else mentioned) never buy 1 ct. Go just bellow - the $$ savings are massive and the difference in look isn't noticeable

- do not shop at an upscale jewellery store - I think Blue Nile is good value. Another option is a ring from a small jeweler - this will give you extra bragging rights....but make sure the price is just as good as Blue Nile. You might need to spend more time researching this but it will be worth it, trust me. Ask friends, co-workers for a local place to get a deal. Someone mentioned NYC, I know Montreal also has all kinds of these types of places. I suspect any decent sized city would have them. If you don't live in a large centre, take a road trip with the best man to get it (bragging rights about getting it from the big city).

- Of the 4 C's:
----Cut is preference - make sure you know what she likes. Her friends will know.
----Carat is bull shit
----Colour is important
----Clarity is important (spend money here but not to the top of the grade, that's for fat cats and idiots). Spending here instead of Carat will allow your wife-to-be to secretly brag about how much smarter you are than her friend's husbands who wasted their money on Carat but got a shitty rock.

- try to get a unique setting. Not crazy unique, but not just like all the others either.

For $5K, you should be able to get something super kick-ass that will blow her mind. And if you shop correctly, it'll be worth closer to $8-10K.

lifejoy

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #54 on: July 22, 2014, 06:51:49 PM »

A friend of mine who is a retired jeweler made mine for my wife and shared these rules with me:

- (as someone else mentioned) never buy 1 ct. Go just bellow - the $$ savings are massive and the difference in look isn't noticeable

- do not shop at an upscale jewellery store - I think Blue Nile is good value. Another option is a ring from a small jeweler - this will give you extra bragging rights....but make sure the price is just as good as Blue Nile. You might need to spend more time researching this but it will be worth it, trust me. Ask friends, co-workers for a local place to get a deal. Someone mentioned NYC, I know Montreal also has all kinds of these types of places. I suspect any decent sized city would have them. If you don't live in a large centre, take a road trip with the best man to get it (bragging rights about getting it from the big city).

- Of the 4 C's:
----Cut is preference - make sure you know what she likes. Her friends will know.
----Carat is bull shit
----Colour is important
----Clarity is important (spend money here but not to the top of the grade, that's for fat cats and idiots). Spending here instead of Carat will allow your wife-to-be to secretly brag about how much smarter you are than her friend's husbands who wasted their money on Carat but got a shitty rock.

- try to get a unique setting. Not crazy unique, but not just like all the others either.

For $5K, you should be able to get something super kick-ass that will blow her mind. And if you shop correctly, it'll be worth closer to $8-10K.

I work at a high-end but small independent family jewellery store. +1 to the above!


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solon

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #55 on: July 23, 2014, 09:01:09 AM »
I think it's incorrect to think of a diamond engagement ring as an investment. An investment is something you buy, hoping the price will increase later. An engagement ring is something you buy, hoping your wife will wear it for the next 60 years and pass it down to the grandkids. Spending a thousand or two on something like that doesn't seem like a bad idea to me.

partgypsy

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #56 on: July 23, 2014, 10:58:24 AM »
Looks like after showing her various alternatives to the traditional expensive big diamond ring, she's finding out for herself that, viewed from a purely financial perspective, a big diamond ring isn't a fantastic investment.  Now she's leaning toward a patterned gold band, perhaps with some tiny rubies studded in it, without a central stone.  She says she likes that type of ring better, even though it isn't the "traditional" engagement ring. Plus, the prices for those look to be a LOT cheaper.  I told her I'd invest the difference and take her on a great vacation with the earnings as an anniversary present.

I love non-traditional wedding/engagement rings and her ideas are great ones. Gold bands are classic, and rubies are very durable, and not insanely expensive if you get them in small sizes. Have her look at "etoile" styles or even a custom jeweler. A slightly less expensive but just a beautiful alternative to rubies are red spinel, especially if she wants a larger size gem.

TheGadfly

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #57 on: September 15, 2014, 08:14:43 AM »
I bought a custom made sapphire/diamond halo ring from Debebians.com a couple years ago and I have no regrets.  It's a beautiful and unique engagement ring made of palladium (just as good as platinum but much cheaper).  There are very few jewelers who are willing to make a custom engagement ring out of palladium due to the relatively low value and physical properties of the metal.  I paid exactly $2000; although, looking back, I could have saved a few hundred dollars by purchasing a synthetic sapphire (at the time, I couldn't find one that had the right size and color).

Still, $2k was well worth the immaculate quality and unique character of the ring.  If you want something personalized and special, I would recommend debebians. They will help you find the right stone for the right price.  Also, if you opt to buy one of their pre-fab settings, they won't charge you anything for their customization services (this is perhaps what sets this company apart from other jewelers of its kind).

TheGadfly

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #58 on: September 15, 2014, 08:19:48 AM »
I bought a custom made sapphire/diamond halo ring from Debebians.com a couple years ago and I have no regrets.  It's a beautiful and unique engagement ring made of palladium (just as good as platinum but much cheaper).  There are very few jewelers who are willing to make a custom engagement ring out of palladium due to the relatively low value and physical properties of the metal.  I paid exactly $2000; although, looking back, I could have saved a few hundred dollars by purchasing a synthetic sapphire (at the time, I couldn't find one that had the right size and color).

Still, $2k was well worth the immaculate quality and unique character of the ring.  If you want something personalized and special, I would recommend debebians. They will help you find the right stone for the right price.  Also, if you opt to buy one of their pre-fab settings, they won't charge you anything for their customization services (this is perhaps what sets this company apart from other jewelers of its kind).

RunHappy

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #59 on: July 15, 2015, 05:34:48 AM »
Hey All,

I'm in the market for an engagement ring, and I'm already pretty overwhelmed by all the options out there for buying a good quality stone.  My soon-to-be fiancée wants a ring with a central diamond and some smaller ruby's around it, so those are the stones I've got to get.  I'm planning on proposing in the October-December range of this year.  Any advice on how to get good quality stones without paying crazy prices?  (I'm also happy to get any general mustachian engagement advice)  Thanks!

Do not think you have to use 2-3 months salary as a guide, pick your own budget.

Check out the site I do, now I don't, they are all pre-loved rings and ring sets: http://www.idonowidont.com/
They have some good rings, various quality and styles.

Another idea is to go ring shopping with her.  My SO and I went ring shopping together and I picked out my own ring.  Another couple I know, went shopping, she picked out 4 rings she liked and he surprised her with the final choice.


dragoncar

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #60 on: July 15, 2015, 12:26:21 PM »
When I got married, I convinced my wife on moissanite.  She was skeptical, particularly regarding my guess that "you probably won't wear the ring that much anyways". (she wears latex gloves at work)  recently, she said she's glad we got the moissanite because she doesn't wear the engagement ring often enough to justify huge cost.  Being a good husband, I did not say "I told you so"

neo von retorch

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #61 on: July 15, 2015, 02:55:19 PM »
We used www.idonowidont.com - the good was we got an astonishing white gold diamond ring with a very unique, beautiful style. She gets tons of compliments. It was not dirt cheap, but it was a lot less than it would have been retail. It's real, so there's no need for her to "justify a smart purchase." The site gives you an appraisal.

The bad - we did overestimate her ring size, so the ring is being sized, and because of the unique design, there is some risk of losing side diamonds, and the ring will not be "round" after the sizing (though it will likely stay upright more easily rather than spin to the side.) The jeweler's appraisal was a pinch lower than the site gave us - the clarity/color ratings were each about one step lower. (But we really don't care, it's gorgeous.)

ETA: The resize went perfectly!
« Last Edit: November 11, 2015, 07:26:39 AM by neogodless »

TomTX

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #62 on: November 10, 2015, 04:21:37 AM »
Titanium rings are a wonderful thing. Hubby has a titanium band, I have a titanium band and a titanium engagement ring. The engagement ring has a teensy diamond in it (it amused me to say "look at the size of this rock" and see people squint then look at me funnily).

Titanium for me is the truly romantic choice, it doesn't wear down, doesn't bend out of shape, doesn't lose its shine and it'll last forever - just like our marriage.

And all of the rings cost about a days wages.

I prefer the tungsten rings we got for our our 20th anniversary rings. More durable than titanium or steel. Like $10-$20 each (shipped!) on Amazon. I get a lot of complements (and I'm a guy)

Heavier and more durable than titanium or steel

RetiredAt63

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #63 on: November 10, 2015, 07:30:12 AM »
A bunch of tiny stones in a row is a classic wedding ring style.  My Mom's ring was like that, she was married in 1949. 
I learned the hard way to avoid a stone set too high - mine was set high (tiny stone, grad students) to make it more visible, and I almost never wore it, because it caught on everything.  Not to mention engagement rings don't do well in labs.  I rarely wear rrings, but if I did, i would get one with the stone set more into the ring.

And wow, Kijiji has gorgeous rings for not much $.

carolynjjones

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #64 on: October 10, 2016, 12:40:34 AM »
A friend of mine who is a retired jeweler made mine for my wife and shared these rules with me:

- (as someone else mentioned) never buy 1 ct. Go just bellow - the $$ savings are massive and the difference in look isn't noticeable

- do not shop at an upscale jewellery store - I think Blue Nile is good value. Another option is a ring from a small jeweler - this will give you extra bragging rights....but make sure the price is just as good as Blue Nile. You might need to spend more time researching this but it will be worth it, trust me. Ask friends, co-workers for a local place to get a deal. Someone mentioned NYC, I know Montreal also has all kinds of these types of places. I suspect any decent sized city would have them. If you don't live in a large centre, take a road trip with the best man to get it (bragging rights about getting it from the big city).

- Of the 4 C's:
----Cut is preference - make sure you know what she likes. Her friends will know.
----Carat is bull shit
----Colour is important
----Clarity is important (spend money here but not to the top of the grade, that's for fat cats and idiots). Spending here instead of Carat will allow your wife-to-be to secretly brag about how much smarter you are than her friend's husbands who wasted their money on Carat but got a shitty rock.

- try to get a unique setting. Not crazy unique, but not just like all the others either.

For $5K, you should be able to get something super kick-ass that will blow her mind. And if you shop correctly, it'll be worth closer to $8-10K.

I think you have it wrong. Cut is king. And women like carat to be as large as possible. It's one of the main factors that women look out for when receiving a diamond ring.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2016, 12:43:42 AM by carolynjjones »

dragoncar

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #65 on: October 10, 2016, 04:18:45 PM »

And women like carat to be as large as possible. It's one of the main factors that women look out for when receiving a diamond ring.

I wouldn't generalize on that... I mean most women probably don't want a tiny diamond, but my wife would be embarrassed to have anything over 2 ct (ostentatious) and preferred the look of 1 ct on her small fingers.  We didn't really consider price in deciding size.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2016, 04:20:46 PM by dragoncar »

ender

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #66 on: October 10, 2016, 05:15:03 PM »
I think you have it wrong. Cut is king. And women like carat to be as large as possible. It's one of the main factors that women look out for when receiving a diamond ring.

*some women

SJS

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #67 on: October 10, 2016, 08:51:09 PM »
I agree with checking out BlueNile.com  I have purchased diamond earrings ($8K), Diamond Pendant ($7K) from them over the years.  Upon receipt, took both to an independent jewellery appraiser and they both appraised for higher than what we paid.   You can return anything to Blue Nile (except if you have it engraved) for any reason.  I also talked my brother into getting his wife her anniversary band from them ($10K) and it was amazing.  Skip platinum - every jeweler I've ever talked to said it's way over-rated.  Scratches & dulls too easily.  Go with white gold.  Good luck with your search! 

ender

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #68 on: October 10, 2016, 08:52:05 PM »
Get moissanite, not diamond.

It's better in nearly every possible regard to a diamond.

SJS

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #69 on: October 10, 2016, 08:52:19 PM »
If you want new diamond, go to Blue Nile.  Best prices for diamonds.

Totally agree!  I've purchased from them several times.  Their priced & CS cannot be beat!  Love them!

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #70 on: October 11, 2016, 06:15:37 AM »
I went Blue Nile, and my wife loved the ring. 
In hindsight though, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could just give her a total stock fund with the money and let her know how much it should be worth when you hit your 25th anniversary.  At that point she can buy a ring that's twice as big, and not worry about the cost.
The trick is not getting caught up in the "I married a cheap son of a bitch" syndrome. 
I bit the bullet, bought the biggest stone I could emotionally handle, and wrote it off as the most important investment in my life. 
My brother, on the other hand, bought several, and never of them ended up in a marriage.   In his case, maybe the stock fund would have worked better...

GuitarStv

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #71 on: October 11, 2016, 07:28:20 AM »
I spent a huge amount on my wife's engagement ring (around four grand).  She likes it, and it was really just a once in a lifetime purchase.  I kinda offset the cost by ensuring that my wedding ring was a 20$ stainless steel one.  :P

I'd also recommend marrying a woman with very small hands . . . this makes regular sized diamonds look gigantic!

ysette9

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #72 on: October 11, 2016, 05:11:12 PM »
We are another couple who bought into the engagement ring diamond thing. I really wanted the engagement ring after dating for a million years and he ended up decided to get the diamond solitaire. We went with Blue Nile after doing careful in-person research at stores to determine which point exactly was it at which we could no longer tell diamond quality with the naked eye. We bought that quality and no more.

I always thought I wanted CZ but after seeing my mother's big CZ complete with lots of scratches, I am now glad we went with something that is wearing better. Then again I love my actual wedding ring and say that if my engagement ring were stolen, I wouldn't replace it.

It is beautiful to look at though... :)

Jouer

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #73 on: November 14, 2016, 02:35:00 PM »
A friend of mine who is a retired jeweler made mine for my wife and shared these rules with me:

- (as someone else mentioned) never buy 1 ct. Go just bellow - the $$ savings are massive and the difference in look isn't noticeable

- do not shop at an upscale jewellery store - I think Blue Nile is good value. Another option is a ring from a small jeweler - this will give you extra bragging rights....but make sure the price is just as good as Blue Nile. You might need to spend more time researching this but it will be worth it, trust me. Ask friends, co-workers for a local place to get a deal. Someone mentioned NYC, I know Montreal also has all kinds of these types of places. I suspect any decent sized city would have them. If you don't live in a large centre, take a road trip with the best man to get it (bragging rights about getting it from the big city).

- Of the 4 C's:
----Cut is preference - make sure you know what she likes. Her friends will know.
----Carat is bull shit
----Colour is important
----Clarity is important (spend money here but not to the top of the grade, that's for fat cats and idiots). Spending here instead of Carat will allow your wife-to-be to secretly brag about how much smarter you are than her friend's husbands who wasted their money on Carat but got a shitty rock.

- try to get a unique setting. Not crazy unique, but not just like all the others either.

For $5K, you should be able to get something super kick-ass that will blow her mind. And if you shop correctly, it'll be worth closer to $8-10K.

I think you have it wrong. Cut is king. And women like carat to be as large as possible. It's one of the main factors that women look out for when receiving a diamond ring.

We are saying the same thing about cut - make sure you know what she wants there.

As for carat: a lot people *think* carat is most important but they are often wrong. Many women have larger diamonds then my wife's but the clarity is shit. They are jealous of how non-shit looking my wife's ring is.

Anyways....aren't we talking about mustachian principles here? 

bryan995

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #74 on: November 14, 2016, 05:55:07 PM »
I remember finding a forum that talked all about this.
Though I cannot recall the name.

edit - found it.
pricescope!
http://www.pricescope.com/

The consensus was that either bluenile or whiteflash or costco was the best bang for the buck.

The whiteflash gem came with all of the certifications / testing - cannot recall the specifics.
I found the best price point to be just a hair under 1ct, (0.82-0.88)
« Last Edit: November 14, 2016, 09:45:52 PM by bryan995 »

SeaEhm

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #75 on: November 14, 2016, 07:32:51 PM »
People see diamonds and then don't even read the post and probably copy pasta their old posts on the subject.


The OP is buying the diamond.  The OP did not ask whether or not you agree with him.  The OP did not try to disprove diamonds being the best marketing approach ever.


@OP - check out bluenile and play with the parameters there to see prices.  I suggest going to different stores to see what color, clarity, and cut are acceptable to you.  Theses variables change for everyone.  Some people sacrifice color to get more carat or clarity.  However, cut is really important as this is what creates the "fire" in the diamond.

I looked at multiple diamonds under a light table as well as under a microscope under more than 10x power to find a diamond I was happy with.  (GIA certifies their diamonds at 10x)

If you are thinking about certifications, stick with GIA. EGL diamonds were always subpar from my observations.

dragoncar

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #76 on: November 14, 2016, 07:36:58 PM »
People see diamonds and then don't even read the post and probably copy pasta their old posts on the subject.


People see two year old threads and think OP is still in the market for a diamond.

SeaEhm

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #77 on: November 14, 2016, 07:43:31 PM »
People see diamonds and then don't even read the post and probably copy pasta their old posts on the subject.


People see two year old threads and think OP is still in the market for a diamond.


Jouer

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #78 on: November 15, 2016, 07:19:28 AM »
People see diamonds and then don't even read the post and probably copy pasta their old posts on the subject.


People see two year old threads and think OP is still in the market for a diamond.

It's almost as if other people might have the same query. Like, people on say, a forum, might want to know that information as well. Otherwise, wouldn't we just PM the OP?

Metric Mouse

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #79 on: November 15, 2016, 07:30:23 AM »
People see diamonds and then don't even read the post and probably copy pasta their old posts on the subject.


People see two year old threads and think OP is still in the market for a diamond.

It's almost as if other people might have the same query. Like, people on say, a forum, might want to know that information as well. Otherwise, wouldn't we just PM the OP?

You mean you didn't?

farmerj

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #80 on: November 15, 2016, 09:11:58 AM »
While everyone is randomly jumping in -- I might as well say that I saw recommendations for Tungsten and Titanium rings earlier. In case of accident or illnesses (ie anything that causes the fingers to swell), these are significantly more difficult for EMS to remove. (Granted, this doesn't happen very often -- in my limited career the ring-cutter only had to be brought out once or twice, but still).

dragoncar

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #81 on: November 15, 2016, 12:11:18 PM »
People see diamonds and then don't even read the post and probably copy pasta their old posts on the subject.


People see two year old threads and think OP is still in the market for a diamond.

It's almost as if other people might have the same query. Like, people on say, a forum, might want to know that information as well. Otherwise, wouldn't we just PM the OP?

It's almost as if other people might want to know about diamond alternatives.  Either way, no reason to get strict about on topic responses when the OP isn't even a forum member any more.

Johnez

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #82 on: November 16, 2016, 02:06:26 PM »
Lots of great resources here. Interesting about the CZs scratching, wasn't aware.

TomTX

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #83 on: November 16, 2016, 02:45:16 PM »
While everyone is randomly jumping in -- I might as well say that I saw recommendations for Tungsten and Titanium rings earlier. In case of accident or illnesses (ie anything that causes the fingers to swell), these are significantly more difficult for EMS to remove. (Granted, this doesn't happen very often -- in my limited career the ring-cutter only had to be brought out once or twice, but still).

Emergency removal of Tungsten just needs some vice grips. Apply pressure, ring fractures.

From what I read, most emergency ring removals are because the ring is bent out-of-round, crimping the finger. Example: Slammed in the car door - Tungsten won't do this. Either the door bounces off, or the ring breaks.

farmerj

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #84 on: November 18, 2016, 02:36:37 PM »
The one time I definitely remember the ring cutter having to be brought out, it was because of the finger swelling, not ring deformation. Pretty sure this is the typical use case.

While using a ring cutter is standard training, vice grips aren't part of the curriculum (or weren't).

Metric Mouse

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Re: Buying an Engagement Ring
« Reply #85 on: November 18, 2016, 06:22:45 PM »
The one time I definitely remember the ring cutter having to be brought out, it was because of the finger swelling, not ring deformation. Pretty sure this is the typical use case.

While using a ring cutter is standard training, vice grips aren't part of the curriculum (or weren't).

Comes with experience.  But doesn't happen often.