Are there already kids ? If not, and she wants new, maybe she should work full time. [ sound like you have the- {more}- sucky job]
Are there no SFH's that are essentially new , due to extensive remodeling, available ?
Why not go tour some on a few weekends, not to buy necessarily, just to "get ideas" .
I'm not sure how to overcome the differences in one wanting a SFH , and the other wanting a "no maintenance" yard. Except in a townhome / condo -you don't really have your own yard !! What if she wants a garden eventually, what if you want to leave the lawn chairs outside all night, instead of having to take them in so as to not piss off the neighbors, what if you want a shed, what if you want to park outside your designated parking space, what if you want a neon green front door and pink shutters, what if you want to wander into your backyard and piss on a tree, what if you don't want to hear your neighbors TV or stereo or alarm clock. I think you give up all those things with a condo.