Budgeting advice/resources for people with ADHD?

[InterfaceLeader]

A friend of mine is going through a divorce. Prior to this divorce, their spouse managed all the household finances, so my friend has no real experience of managing money since leaving Uni. It's worth noting that, as a student, money management for my friend was a challenge, with them getting into debt more than once. At the time, however, their ADHD was undiagnosed and unmedicated.

They are now on meds, as well as have a lot of other strategies around time management, household management, work etc.
However money/budgeting will be a new challenge, and they will be diving in at the deep end, being both time and income poor (they are a part-time worker and have children). They don't find money very interesting in and of itself, but obviously want to give their children the best life possible so have a lot of motivation to manage things well.

They have asked me for help & support (I'm not just inserting myself into their business). But unfortuantely, my approach with spreadsheets galore is not remotely ADHD-friendly.

If you (or someone you know) have ADHD and have found a budgeting method that works for you, could you share?
Or if you can recommend helpful resources (YouTube videos, Podcasts etc.)?
Or even just what traps to look out for?

Thank you!

[Psychstache]

Given the lack of interest and higher priorities, keeping things simple and automatic as possible is best. So, no games like pay in 4, chasing bank bonuses, or rewards categories with shifting requirements, etc. Too much to keep up with. Keep it simple.

Things I found useful early in my journey of ADHD management when I was a financial newbie:

1. Never save any credit card information onto websites. Increase the friction of making online purchases. It is a pain in the ass to find your CC and manually type in the information to get something which means you are only gonna do it when you really want it or need it.

2. Have one CC that is only used for recurring monthly bills (power, water, internet, streaming, etc). This is the only card you are allowed to use when you are signing up for any recurring bills. Way too easy to sign up for a subscription or free trial and forget about it and only discover it months and many dollars later.

3. Have all of your CCs due on the same date. This should let your statements all pop up on the same day. Then, you can schedule a once a month "statement review day" every month to check for errors or problems. Set them to pay the balance in full on the payment due date automatically.

4. Some people swear by the cash envelope system. As someone with ADHD, I hate cash because it seems to dissolve with no accountability. CC statements actually made things easier for addressing spending issues.

5. Don't beat yourself up if you screw something up. Because you will. Because adulting is hard. Having ADHD is hard. Being a single parent is hard. Managing your finances for the first time is hard. Doing all of those at the same time is going to be a Herculean task. (okay, that is not advice based on experience, but still think your friend would benefit from hearing it).

[getsorted]

I have had good luck using apps-- they just bring a little gamification into the process. Aggregation also really helps me see the big picture.

In general, pairing a low-dopamine task like reconciling a budget with a high-dopamine bribe & reward seems to help a lot. Sometimes just having a nice drink works, like a cold drink with ice or a carbonated beverage that is the designated reward for a given activity.

[aloevera1]

Echoing the simplest possible setup. Spreadsheets work only for a small percentage of the population who find them enjoyable. The rest of the world finds them.. unpleasant, complicated, useless, etc.

1. Minimize the number of cards, bank accounts, etc. Playing the points game only worth it if you can effectively manage everything. In the beginning it's probably better to start small.

2. Create some simple system to pay the bills, e.g. withdraw from the account that gets salary deposited. Make sure that the dates align properly. Make that automatic.

3. Address the issue of giant "important" purchases or impulse purchasing in general. I find this is the big one. People with less money management experience tend to justify a lot of things as "I need this" without thinking about money. They see something useful/on sale and tend to buy it regardless whether they have money that month or not.

So there are different ways to manage this. One would be write a list before going to the store and then just stick to that list instead of wondering around shopping random stuff. Or having a budget (might be more frustrating).

4. Emergency fund. Things will come up. Your friend should treat the emergency fund for actual emergencies rather than "cash available".

5. I would also avoid debt in general. I know some people here really like leverage but for people with minimum money experience I would probably suggest minumum available credit or some credit that is not easily invoked in the stores (to keep it more as an emergency rather than a way to fund expenses). If the concept of compound interest doesn't fully click, debt can be very dangerous.

6. Review expenses for every month on all accounts. Basically, look at the cashflows in and cashflows out.

Once the simple rules are set up and the person has success adhering to them, then there are more advanced strategies (cards with points, investing, etc).

[InterfaceLeader]

Thank you everyone. There are a lot of really useful ideas here that I will share.

5. Don't beat yourself up if you screw something up. Because you will. Because adulting is hard. Having ADHD is hard. Being a single parent is hard. Managing your finances for the first time is hard. Doing all of those at the same time is going to be a Herculean task. (okay, that is not advice based on experience, but still think your friend would benefit from hearing it).

Thank you for this. They have had to deal with a lot of shaming from having a neurodivergent brain and are currently going through an incredibly stressful period of life. It's really going to be a huge task to adjust, so I definitely want to make sure I'm being actually helpful and supportive and not adding to the overwhelm.

[getsorted]

Thank you everyone. There are a lot of really useful ideas here that I will share.

5. Don't beat yourself up if you screw something up. Because you will. Because adulting is hard. Having ADHD is hard. Being a single parent is hard. Managing your finances for the first time is hard. Doing all of those at the same time is going to be a Herculean task. (okay, that is not advice based on experience, but still think your friend would benefit from hearing it).

Thank you for this. They have had to deal with a lot of shaming from having a neurodivergent brain and are currently going through an incredibly stressful period of life. It's really going to be a huge task to adjust, so I definitely want to make sure I'm being actually helpful and supportive and not adding to the overwhelm.

My friend and I call it the ADHD tax. Late fees, missed opportunities, buying duplicates because we forgot we already bought something.

Another thing that helps me is having a couple of big whiteboards. One is where I write my financial goals and what I plan to spend on next. Prioritization is one of the aspects of executive dysfunction I struggle with most, so having a frequent visual reminder when other ideas for spending arise has been very useful. I have a big thermometer that I color in as my savings rise to the goal. It helps!

To manage impulsivity, I printed little sleeves to hold my credit cards with photos of my goals on them. So, to spend, I have to pull the card out of a little paper envelope with a picture of my son in a hard hat that says, "Please don't spend my college fund on McDonald's!"

[Psychstache]

Thank you everyone. There are a lot of really useful ideas here that I will share.

5. Don't beat yourself up if you screw something up. Because you will. Because adulting is hard. Having ADHD is hard. Being a single parent is hard. Managing your finances for the first time is hard. Doing all of those at the same time is going to be a Herculean task. (okay, that is not advice based on experience, but still think your friend would benefit from hearing it).

Thank you for this. They have had to deal with a lot of shaming from having a neurodivergent brain and are currently going through an incredibly stressful period of life. It's really going to be a huge task to adjust, so I definitely want to make sure I'm being actually helpful and supportive and not adding to the overwhelm.

That reminds me: Book Recommendation.

https://www.amazon.com/You-Mean-Lazy-Stupid-Crazy/dp/0743264487

Could be a nice gift that helps her feel less alone in what she is going through.

[InterfaceLeader]

Thank you for the book recommendation! They have a birthday coming up, so a good gift.

We've agreed to have a monthly money call, just after payday, where they will go through the bills and upcoming expenses and pay them/write them down on a whiteboard so they don't forget anything. I'll be more accountability buddy than anything else.

Automation will be key going forward, but they are in a transitional limbo at the moment, and still need to find long term housing... it's pretty challenging.