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Boyfriend/girlfriend or Partner?

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G-String:
For those who are not married, I am curious what you call your significant other and why?  Do you refer to them as "boyfriend/girlfriend" or "partner"?  Why did you settle on the terminology you use?  Were there any disagreements between the two of you on what to call each other?  And if you don't mind me asking, what is your age (or age range)?   

aloevera1:
Partner.

Our relationship is waaaaaay past the bf/gf stage. We did not really have any disagreements on it. I personally don't care that much about the terminology. Prior to meeting my current partner, I actually did not use this word at all. However, it made sense given how serious relationship was (I knew this pretty early on).

I think most of the tension regarding "what to call someone in the relationship with me" comes from lack of underlying clarity "who is this person to me???". So people (don't know if that's you specifically) get hung up on the terminology while in fact they should ask the question of "What is your role in my life?" or "Does my expectation of your role in my life meet the reality and your expectation of your role in my life?". A lot of times it is a very difficult question to ask as it may lead to realizing your answers don't actually align. This in turn can lead to more tensions and/or break up. So people avoid it and instead focus on the names and visual relationship progress (we went on a first vacation, they met my parents, etc.)

Relationship clarity is a wonderful thing. Labels matter a lot less.

My 2 cents.

G-String:

--- Quote from: aloevera1 on February 06, 2024, 08:42:39 AM ---Partner.

Our relationship is waaaaaay past the bf/gf stage. We did not really have any disagreements on it. I personally don't care that much about the terminology. Prior to meeting my current partner, I actually did not use this word at all. However, it made sense given how serious relationship was (I knew this pretty early on).

I think most of the tension regarding "what to call someone in the relationship with me" comes from lack of underlying clarity "who is this person to me???". So people (don't know if that's you specifically) get hung up on the terminology while in fact they should ask the question of "What is your role in my life?" or "Does my expectation of your role in my life meet the reality and your expectation of your role in my life?". A lot of times it is a very difficult question to ask as it may lead to realizing your answers don't actually align. This in turn can lead to more tensions and/or break up. So people avoid it and instead focus on the names and visual relationship progress (we went on a first vacation, they met my parents, etc.)

Relationship clarity is a wonderful thing. Labels matter a lot less.

My 2 cents.

--- End quote ---
I agree I am not much into labels either, but at times it is a necessary evil.  For example, when you are introducing your partner/GF/BF to friends or family, or when you are talking about them to work colleagues. 

NotJen:
Boyfriend/girlfriend.  I've used this since my divorce, through my 30s and mid-40s so far.  Terms used mutually with no discussion.  (There was a discussion both times about being exclusive, but not about what terms we call each other.)

I would have no problem with the person I was dating using whatever term they like for me (as long as it was not mean-spirited/derogatory).

I personally would not call someone a partner unless we had been dating a long time and living together (and even then, possibly not).  If my last BF had insisted I call him my partner, I would have broken up with him (because I knew I didn't want to commit to him long term, and would feel insincere using the word partner because he didn't feel like one).

NotJen:

--- Quote from: G-String on February 06, 2024, 08:46:22 AM ---I agree I am not much into labels either, but at times it is a necessary evil.  For example, when you are introducing your partner/GF/BF to friends or family, or when you are talking about them to work colleagues.

--- End quote ---

"I'm dating Bob", then refer to them as Bob.  No label needed?

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