Now that it's a good time of day to respond to the forum--and thanks in advance--here goes:
If you could be more specific about the mental health issues you're talking about, it would be easier to make suggestions.
Not to turn this into a Kazyan's Problems thread, but the major theme recently is a feeling of non-agenticity. It's not that the world around me is constraining my decisions or anything, becuase it's not and I'm wonderfully privileged. Rather, desiring a course of action in my head seems to only occasionally result in me actually taking that action. I'm fairly sure that overexposure to the internet is causing problems too; mainly too much anger and feeling chronically overwhelmed, which I attribute to "news" stories and the fast pace of internet activity. There are other issues and anxieties, but they're less important. I'd like for this thread to help others find what they need, too, not just myself--mental health is very important, even in this demographic that leans more towards well-being than the general populace.
One of the great things the ACA did was require mental health coverage. I'm sorry your health plan is not ACA-compliant.
If you don't mind me asking, what kind of mental health problem are you dealing with?
If it has to do with family of origin issues or addiction, my friend often refers to her involvement in 12-step groups as "free therapy".
If it's something amenable to drug treatment, such as OCD or depression, your primary care doctor may be able to prescribe for you and code it with medical codes such as insomnia or IBS.
If talk therapy is really right for you, some practitioners offer a sliding scale fee structure.
The plan was my choice, so if it really comes down to it, I'll go back to the ACA marketplace and pony up for mental health coverage. Thanks for the itemized suggestions there--no family issues, but my internet habits could be treated with addiction-specific steps. Drug treatment...probably, since a prescribed stimulant worked a few years ago, but that's a bit of a story. Some of it is in the response to
mozar below. So that's something to look into again.
I spent years trying to figure out my mental health. I fell into a deep dark hole during and after I got my Black Belt (the training was intense and almost a full year) It took me 15 months to feel recovered from the over training.
I have tried many different therapist and was never able to get them to help me figure out my issues. I always seemed to boggle their minds.
I then decided that I needed accountability in getting to goals...it did not matter what the goal was I was missing accountability to my goals. So I found a old school personal trainer 6 months ago I go see her once a week and I have never been more happy in my life. I am able to train, my fitness is increasing. I flat out feel better. My relationships are improving I am able to parent my kid with much more love and patience than ever before.
Look around for the right thing for you. That might be a therapist or a pair of running shoes. good luck
Congratulations on finding a path to happiness! May your life keep growing. Come to think of it, external accountability has been lacking in personal goal-setting on my end...that's another aspect to look into.
Also depression and bipolar support alliance have free meetings in some cities.
Noted!
I've tried a few therapists as well and with the training they get they don't have the skill to treat people who are "functional " imo. If you're not in a crisis they don't know what to do (I have my opinions as to why but you didn't ask that.)
I started with the book codependent no more which an ex gave me. I sat on it for a few years before I read it. Other books that have helped are feeling good, the new mood therapy and the body keeps score.
I also changed my diet completely. I had felt foggy for most of my life and it turned out that I'm gluten sensitive.
I have learned to sleep from scratch. Starting in high school and all the way through my twenties I averaged 30 minutes of sleep a night. Now I can do at least 6 hours every night.
I had considered medication but I was scared of that because I had heard it made you suicidal. Once I was in a good enough place i was able to research that. I also had terrible insurance through work and i just couldn't find a psychiatrist that i could make an appointment with. When i was fired last year I was able to get ACA and a better provider with more doctor access.
What finally got me to make an appointment with a psychiatrist was reading a book about ADHD. I had all the symptoms and I was able to say what my exact symptoms were and work together to pick a medication that addressed those symptoms. He also officially diagnosed me with clinical depression. And honestly just having an actual diagnosis made me feel better. After about 6 months of taking it I don't feel better or happier but I do feel like I can think clearly about my problems and come up with solutions on my own and that's been a really big deal.
So a number of things could be wrong with you so remember you are your own best advocate so don't give up. Go with your gut feeling that something is wrong with you , whatever it is you can fix it but you have to figure out what the problem is before you can find the solution. You can do it. I believe in you.
There's a lot in your post that resonates--thank you for typing all that up. Fogginess has really only set in circa three years ago for me, but diet wouldn't be my first guess. The moment of 'oh, these symptoms are me' when reading about ADD is familiar--I do have a diagnosis, sort of, but a second clinic several years on disagreed with it based on an assessment of their own. I was prescribed a stimulant while I had the first clinic's diagnosis, and it worked for the time. The second clinic really didn't want to put me back on the functional medication--everyone wants to try Wellbutrin. Your vote of confidence is much appreciated.
Aside from those, the phrase "The Body Keeps Score" is causing some fear, so...
seemsright's reminder about accountability may be more important than it seemed.
I think it's important to get professional care but if you're just looking for some free/easy daily care type options, I like the Pacifica app. There's also Happify too but I didn't like that one as much. I use the Pacifica app to track my mood, practice guided meditation, and journal. It's nothing fancy but it has helped me chill out in moments of high stress because I can tune into a guided meditation whenever I need to.
Every good-faith suggestion is appreciated, including this one, but I doubt they will help. An app just tells you what to do, and my non-agenticity thing isn't in knowing what actions to take, it's in the Step 2 of actually taking them.
You cannot generalize about the training that "therapists" get.
It depends what kind of "therapist" you go to.
You really can't generalize about "therapists" because that covers a massive range of educational backgrounds because "therapist" literally doesn't mean anything in terms of credentials.
I personally only go to "therapists" with a PhD in Clinical Psychology and I've never ever felt that they weren't exquisitely well trained and qualified to help. They have ~6 years of rigorous training. It's quite an impressive education.
MD Psychiatry, Clinical Psychology PhD, Masters of Clinical Psychology, Masters of Education- Psychology, Person who decides to call themselves a "therapist" for some reason, etc, these are all considered "therapists" when people talk about their various experiences with therapy. You can't paint with a broad brush because there's so much variation in training/qualification.
Psychiatrist, Psychologist, and Counselor are all titles that actually mean something, but they mean very very different things. It's important to research the education level and type of the person whose help you seek out.
It's the same way there's a difference between an Optometrist and an Opthalmologist. Different needs, different medical professional.
Someone "functional" may not be suited to Psychiatry, and may benefit more from a psychologist or a counselor depending on their needs.
If they are fully functional and looking to optimize their life through better decision making, they may actually be best served by a coach, or maybe a combo of counselling and coaching.
As for me, I paid $225/hr out of pocket for twice monthly counseling with a psychologist when I was dealing with professional burnout and it was worth every penny.
Good post--I didn't understand that "therapist" was a colloquial term before now. It will be helpful if seeking a professional to know the differences between the roles of a psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor and couch.
Hi OP, you have my sympathy. What you are going through is understandable, and I'm sorry to read about it.
I'm having my own mental health struggles right now. Rather than a financial obstacle, I face more of an interpersonal obstacle. I had a therapist who I saw maybe 8 times when I was getting divorced, and then I saw her again a couple of times a few years later when something came up. For whatever reason, those sessions with her really helped me. Her manner just made me really at ease, her comments at the end of each session always seemed right on point, and she had a lot of context information for my life including some meetings she had in the second round with my other half. Because she had the context, I didn't feel the need to rehash and give a lot of backstory, which helped tremendously.
Then she retired. And now I feel lost. I've tried seeing two different therapists, one I saw maybe 4-5 times before I gave up and the other only once. Both made me feel very judged. The second one gave me a vibe that combined judging with boredom and disinterest. I knew right away I couldn't go back to that person. Having made some bad decisions, I'm sensitive about being judged I guess and I've always been extremely sensitive to body language. After that session, my feelings were remarkably worse, not better.
So now I'm in a fix again where it would help to talk to someone, but I hesitate.
Again, you have my sympathy. Hopefully someone here can help you. This board sometimes does help me feel better.
I hope you do find someone to talk to; it sounds like you need it. This board is full of great people, but since the internet can only do so much, I wish you luck.
I would try one session with a counselor. Just one! Yes, it'll be expensive ($100-300), but you can afford a one-time expense, just to see what it's like. Sometimes, doing something the first time can seem disproportionately difficult. You might find it's 100% worth it, or you might find it's not, and then you don't have to go back and you haven't lost much.
Also:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/06/16/things-that-sometimes-help-if-youre-depressed/
https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/07/13/things-that-sometimes-work-if-you-have-anxiety/
A one-time expense to try a new counselor sounds viable. Also, I had no idea that Slate Star Codex had such articles; I'm inclined to save them, since he author of SSC is one of the few rationalist-type people I can actually stand these days. Cool! It's pretty amusing that after a serious depression-fixing algorithm post, the top comment is a fish recipe and for some reason that seems extra-appropriate instead of uncalled for.
You may have mental health coverage through a different provider, not your main health insurance. That is how mine is set up.
I signed up for this health insurance relatively recently, so I still recall some of the broad-strokes, and they made it clear that it doesn't cover mental health. Oh well.