Curious if any of you, like me, have family members who are spendthrifts. In large part because of this, every year, the holidays are a source not of joy, but of misery, much of which centers around different values concerning gift-giving. I personally would be fine with not receiving anything. If my family members insist on buying me something, which they do, and ask me what I want, which they do, I am happy to give them ideas. However, it kind of peeves me to be told that my requests are not acceptable. Last year, for example, I wanted to buy some financial planning textbooks, so I requested those when asked what I wanted. My mom and sister didn't like that idea, so they bought me an Apple Watch instead, which I did not want or need. I returned the Apple Watch and got the books I had wanted in the first place.
On the other side, we've started doing group gifts. My mom, for example, likes jewelry, so that's usually what my sister and I buy for her. But she already has tons of jewelry, and half the time she winds up returning what we buy for her anyway. Also, since I readily admit that my taste in jewelry fashions is lacking (I don't even wear jewelry), I just wind up sending my sister a check for whatever she picks out for my mom. So from my perspective, the gift winds up being meaningless, and I don't even see it anyway, assuming my mom actually keeps it.
I've tried having discussions with both of them regarding us not doing this, and I know my sister is also stressed and unhappy with how the whole holiday gift business goes down. We tried agreeing to ask each other before buying expensive stuff, but again, see my example regarding the books above--it does no good to ask what someone wants if you're not going to respect their request and buy it for them. Also, a lot of times, no one will tell each other what they want (my sister is the worst offender here).
Adding to the difficulty is that all of us have enough money to buy ourselves anything we really need or even most of the things we want. It's not like the days when I was in school and couldn't afford to buy myself, say, an Apple Watch if I had decided I wanted one. The only reason I don't have an Apple Watch now is because I sincerely don't want one, not because I can't afford one.
Sorry this kind of turned into a vent, but if anyone wants to commiserate even if you don't have any suggestions, commiserations are also welcome. :-p