It's not on your list and you've likely never considered it, but I can recommend Houston, specifically the Clear Lake area near NASA's Johnson Space Center.
You've got:
* Relatively good diversity and tolerance thanks to the scientific/engineering/international community here for JSC. I say "Relatively" because we're talking Texas, not Brooklyn. It is NOT Brooklyn-diverse here.
* Amazingly awesome public schools
* Very low COL (no income tax, low housing costs) paired with relatively high salaries (Oil Industry ratchets up the salary scale. For example on the GS (govt) scale, salaries are higher in Houston than DC)
* Very large lots can be found, or you can find small ones, depending on your neighborhood. But land is inexpensive.
* Avoiding brutal winters: check. We're talking palm trees and orange trees. Of course, that comes at a cost. (ahem Summer ahem.)
* You can fly anywhere from IAH. Domestically, you can fly Southwest from Hobby, easy peasy.
Now there are downsides:
* It is hot and humid June-September. No kidding.
* Property taxes are high thanks to no income tax.
* Property insurance is higher thanks to hurricanes.
* The sprawl of Houston is not beautiful.
* Traffic sucks if you commute on the freeways.
* Did I mention the summers?
However:
* Pockets of Houston are lovely. In Clear Lake, you're next door to a nature preserve, you've got neighborhoods filled with mature, tall pine trees.
* Clear Lake is unique in that the space industry and the chemical industry are major employers right in town- bike commutes are absolutely doable.
* It's a quick drive to the beach. Nobody will confuse it with Cancun but Galveston is still fun- sandcastles and ocean swimming.
* Swimming pools are common- most neighborhoods have a nice one, and many homes do as well. Even the summer heat is fun when you spend every day swimming.
* Downtown Houston is nearby, and while it's not NYC, it has a lovely selection of museums, parks, sports, performances, festivals.
* Folks are friendly and welcoming.
And here's what we would like in the area we move to (roughly in order of importance):
- Diversity and tolerance (we are an interracial couple)
- Excellent public schools
- Effect on time to FIRE (i.e. cost of living and income potential)
- More space (homes with largish lots and privacy)
- Avoiding brutal winters (we are sick of snow!)
- Ease of international travel
We've preliminarily identified the above cities as possibilities, acknowledging we will probably want to live in the suburbs of these locations, not the city proper. We would ideally rent in the area for a year to confirm that we want to live there, then buy our "forever" home.
Thanks so much and look forward to seeing your replies!