Being content with FIRE journey vs being frustrated with progress

[BOP Mustache]

We are a family of 4 with two daughters aged 3 & 1. On my single income as wife is SAHM.

We are saving along with superannuation 25-30% of our income. Have a debt free home and live a frugal yet largely middle class comfortable lifestyle.

With projections of our spending, saving and a long term index fund return of 5% inflation adjusted we are on track to be FIRE in 22 years.

Now I知 34 now and when I知 56 able to FIRE that痴 just too far down the track for me to be content with. Being frugal and scrimping and saving and working hard long hours at work I feel like I値l get to that age and the best parts of my youth and health will be beyond me.

Hence I知 thinking of ways to speed it up. Obvious things are, wife goes back to work and we shove kids into daycare, others are earn more from my primary salaried income (have just got a new job recently with 25k pre tax pay rise), go into business for ourselves (not that keen on it) or be a bit more creative with investments (rental properties, house flips, start up investments).

Then there is national pension (at age 65 in NZ) and likely inheritances from both sides of our families (our parents) as they pass away to factor in too.

I知 in two minds. Every option to increase the income or investment return has downsides either via more concentrated risk of the investment going south or time input for more salaried work or time input renovating houses, etc which takes away from precious time we spend with the kids or time to reconnect as a couple or look after our health as best we can with restricted sleep.

I知 sure many couples in their late 20s to early 40s have felt the same so wanting to hear your thoughts.

Part of me goes, gosh look at your life steady career, paid off house, saving coin on one income but then the other side goes what a long slog until mid 50s until I can really enjoy life.

[ixtap]

Did you just start saving or are you planning to ramp up spending? Saving 30% should get you to your goal in 28 years, starting from zero and with no growth, so your projection of 22 years seems very pessimistic.

Is there a plan for your wife to go to work in the future or is the plan for her to stay home indefinitely? If she plans to return to work once the kids are in school, that will speed up your savings.

Another option is to try some of the cutting to the bone frugal options to see what you actually miss if you cut it out of your life. This is the real value of no spend challenges; any money saved during the challenge is just the cherry in top. The real dessert is the money you save by identifying something you can cut going forward.

This might seem to contradict the above, but it doesn't have to: build a life you can enjoy over the next 22 years. Find activities you enjoy, build relationships with those kids, surprise your wife once in a while in a good way.  Make time for the things you love, even if it has to be a scaled down version from The Big Dream. Automate the savings and use your free time to create joy.

[Paper Chaser]

I view my financial health like my physical health. There are times when I'm super disciplined and times when I'm more relaxed. Times when I'm motivated to work more (on money or health) and times when it feels better for me to simply focus on cutting out excess (Again, on money or health). Both are progress. This is a lifelong journey, not a prison sentence to be endured for a time and then relieved from.

It seems like you're delaying gratification so much that you're unhappy with your current life, and that's going to have a bad outcome. Or perhaps you feel an imbalance in responsibilities where you're responsible for the bulk of the finances, and your wife is responsible for the bulk of the childcare. In that case, perhaps a more even sharing of those responsibilities would bring more contentment. Either way, I'd suggest thinking about what you plan to do in FIRE that you think will allow you to "really enjoy life", and then consider ways to make that happen in your current life in smaller amounts. The path toward FIRE isn't about years of exhausting self deprivation to later enjoy excess. It's about reducing or eliminating wasted time/energy/money that isn't making you happy or propelling you forward. Life is a balance, and clearly you feel unbalanced at the moment. So do a bit less of the thing that's making you unhappy, and a bit more of the thing that makes you happy.

I'd also suggest that with a time frame of a couple of decades, a lot can change. It's terrific to have a plan, but if your entire focus is something so far into the future, you're going to miss what's happening in the short term. Your wife being a SAHM while the kids are young could make tons of sense and be super beneficial for your entire family at this stage. But once the kids go to school, she may find more time to generate additional income. You may stumble upon an opportunity at work or for other investment. You may get some other windfall. Any of those could shorten your time frame.

[SunnyDays]

There's a middle ground that you're missing.  You don't have to put off "life" until you retire, with nothing but slogging until then.

Right now, you're in the hard years, with young kids and one income.  In only 4 years, they will both be in school; then your wife can get a part time job, full time once school is full time.  But your kids are only young once and I think it's wise for one parent to be home with them.  You'll never get that time back, but there is lots of time to make money.

You can tighten up the budget to get rid of nice-to-have but won't-miss-it-if-it's-gone items (do a Case Study for specific feedback) and spend time on free/cheap activities with the kids.  Being with mom and dad is far more important to them than fancy stuff or expensive adventures.  And you need to find things to enjoy until FIRE, because there is no guarantee you will make it to that age.  Stop looking at the glass as half empty.  Make your life great now.

Your income will rise with time.  Your wife will bring in some money.  Investments will increase your wealth.

You're only 34.  That's young.  Lots of thing can change, for good or bad, between now and 56.  Put your health (including sleep) and family first and focus on each day as it comes.  Don't live in the future.

[happy]

I also agree its worth cultivating some happiness now. It might take some practice/trial and error. Being retired doesn't automatically make you happy, or turn out the way you think it will. On the whole I'm much happier being retired than working, but there are still sources of stress and times of unhappiness.

I also agree that a whole lot can change between 34 and 56. If you follow the way of the moustache, then opportunities to save will arise, as will windfalls. Everyone else will blow it on a new car or some other fancy luxury. Just be patient and stay the course.

Personally I'd wait until your kids get to school age to encourage your wife back to part-time work. Those pre-school years are busy and precious! I'm not sure how expensive childcare is in NZ but across the ditch it is expensive and if you are not careful will eat up a lot of the extra income and just cause a whole lot more family stress. And if/when she does start working again, know that you will need to pick up a load of household duties, or you are giving her 2 jobs.

[Metalcat]

Never live for the future, that's not what FIRE is about.

Look at your life NOW and figure out what's missing to make it rich and satisfying.

[ixtap]

Never live for the future, that's not what FIRE is about.

Look at your life NOW and figure out what's missing to make it rich and satisfying.

That is a much more succinct way to put it!

[Metalcat]

Never live for the future, that's not what FIRE is about.

Look at your life NOW and figure out what's missing to make it rich and satisfying.

That is a much more succinct way to put it!

Sometimes I write short posts ;)

[zolotiyeruki]

Mustachianism is about optimizing your resources to maximize your happiness in life.  Frugality, investing, and retiring early are means to that end.  Retiring early is not, in itself, an end.  It is a way to free yourself in order to spend your time in ways that make you happy.

Let's take a look at one of your options:  working harder and longer hours.  You will give up time (and presumably happiness today in doing so, and in exchange, you hope to gain time (and happiness) later in life.  You have to decide if that tradeoff is worth it.

I've been in your shoes, albeit in a slightly better financial position.  In my opinion (and the 2 cents it may be worth), it's not worth the trade, and it certainly isn't worth the worry.  Take the time to enjoy life with the little kids and your wife.  Sure, look for better employment opportunities.  Look for opportunities to optimize your spending.  But keep your eyes on the prize:  maximum happiness.

[mspym]

And remember, where you are now won稚 be where you are in 5, 10 or 20 years. *this* is not a preview of the next 20 years - this is just right now. So leave the future and your future savings rate alone, and work through with your wife what your combined vision of the future is, who you want to be, how you want to live and then start pulling some of that into your present day.