Author Topic: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?  (Read 22862 times)

Tyler

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #50 on: July 17, 2014, 10:12:59 PM »
I get the frustration, and agree that the typical negative reaction is irritating. However, exactly what response should one expect from a debt-laden person? 

Back to the situation described by the OP, when people are sharing stories of common struggle it's simply a form of group therapy (I leave whether it is effective or not unaddressed). I'd let them have their moment and simply blow off any perceived slight. For me, an important part of communication is recognizing the state of mind of the other party. Just be nice and let it go.

Also, I just don't bring up finances when I can help it. Generally speaking, it serves no constructive purpose. Unless someone asks for your help, your advice and accomplishments likely won't be well received by someone who is struggling. I wish it wasn't the case, but it's just human nature.

Grog

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #51 on: July 17, 2014, 10:38:48 PM »
Make a mysterious face and say: "it is known". Then walk away

OSUBearCub

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #52 on: July 18, 2014, 08:49:41 AM »
I play the "crushing student loan debt" card quite a lot. 

Spendy Friends - Hey Joe, wanna take a 4 day bargain cruise with us? (Florida, this is pretty frequent.)
Me - Gosh I would but the student loans don't pay themselves!
Spendy Friends - We're concerned you never treat yourself to the fun things. [sad concerned face]
Me - I treated myself to an extra few years of college. Ha ha.  [I'm a lovable doofus face]

Middlesbrough

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #53 on: July 18, 2014, 09:11:32 AM »
I play the "crushing student loan debt" card quite a lot. 

Spendy Friends - Hey Joe, wanna take a 4 day bargain cruise with us? (Florida, this is pretty frequent.)
Me - Gosh I would but the student loans don't pay themselves!
Spendy Friends - We're concerned you never treat yourself to the fun things. [sad concerned face]
Me - I treated myself to an extra few years of college. Ha ha.  [I'm a lovable doofus face]
This^^^

I relate to all consumerists through student loans. Why don't you have a nice new car? Student loans are killer. Why don't you live in a huge apartment or house? Student loans is my house to the government.

Really when it comes to student loans I have but a fraction of what some others on this board have. I have almost knocked all the high interest ones out and will leave the sub 4.5% ones to the toils of minimum payments. I will have student loan debt for years! Looks like I got a consumerism conversation starter for a while.

Gin1984

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #54 on: July 18, 2014, 10:05:35 AM »
I play the "crushing student loan debt" card quite a lot. 

Spendy Friends - Hey Joe, wanna take a 4 day bargain cruise with us? (Florida, this is pretty frequent.)
Me - Gosh I would but the student loans don't pay themselves!
Spendy Friends - We're concerned you never treat yourself to the fun things. [sad concerned face]
Me - I treated myself to an extra few years of college. Ha ha.  [I'm a lovable doofus face]
This^^^

I relate to all consumerists through student loans. Why don't you have a nice new car? Student loans are killer. Why don't you live in a huge apartment or house? Student loans is my house to the government.

Really when it comes to student loans I have but a fraction of what some others on this board have. I have almost knocked all the high interest ones out and will leave the sub 4.5% ones to the toils of minimum payments. I will have student loan debt for years! Looks like I got a consumerism conversation starter for a while.
LOL, that is a great idea.  :)

allergic2average

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #55 on: July 18, 2014, 10:53:57 AM »
I'm an asshole so I say 'I wasn't created to be poor, I was created to be the only Bolivian in a sauna full of Jews'  Ironically enough one of my friends is Jewish lol Basically I've never cared what other people thought, so negativity from others has never affected me :)

mbl

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #56 on: July 18, 2014, 11:25:51 AM »
I'm an asshole so I say 'I wasn't created to be poor, I was created to be the only Bolivian in a sauna full of Jews'  Ironically enough one of my friends is Jewish lol Basically I've never cared what other people thought, so negativity from others has never affected me :)

I would say your first statement is true mostly based on your anti-semitic comment.

I'm reasonably certain that it violates the CoC on this board.

boognish

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #57 on: July 18, 2014, 11:43:09 AM »
Finance, like religion or politics, is not something to actively discuss with people who have radically different world views. It's generally not productive.

An actual conversation, with give and take, where the both parties are truly listening is worthwhile. Otherwise, you're wasting your time.

Rezdent

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #58 on: July 18, 2014, 12:28:11 PM »
I'm cutting back my work hours from 40 to 32 and am getting a lot of smarmy "must be nice" from coworkers.
My response:
"Well, yes, having more time off will be nice.  You should absolutely consider doing this too.  It's a 20% paycut...so all you need to do is figure out how to live with less money.  It's a trade off but I'm sure you can do it."
Every single person's response to this has been silence.
I like to think that's because they are thinking.  (Maybe for the first time).

lackofstache

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #59 on: July 18, 2014, 12:46:30 PM »
To the OP: a NW of 1.1 million? Why aren't you FIRE already?

1.1 includes house equity of $200K, and most of our investments are tied in qualified accounts, so not liquid at the moment.

I'm not trying to hassle, just challenge:

900K is still an awfully nice nest egg. Our FIRE number is more like 650K

For the qualified accounts, read (among other things):

http://jlcollinsnh.com/2013/12/05/stocks-part-xx-early-retirement-withdrawal-strategies-and-roth-conversion-ladders-from-a-mad-fientist/

Based on other posts, you sound very unhappy at your job and I'd love to help you retire earlier. Also consider finding a non-objectionable PT job. You'd be amazed what $15-20K a year does to offset expenses and reduce the needed nest egg. You can also use this strategy only for a few years, as a hedge against sequenced negative returns early in retirement.

Chief, I've always assumed I'd like you if I ever met you, but this seals the deal without the meeting. Thanks for being an asset to those you do not know.

allergic2average

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #60 on: July 18, 2014, 01:18:25 PM »
I'm an asshole so I say 'I wasn't created to be poor, I was created to be the only Bolivian in a sauna full of Jews'  Ironically enough one of my friends is Jewish lol Basically I've never cared what other people thought, so negativity from others has never affected me :)

I would say your first statement is true mostly based on your anti-semitic comment.

I'm reasonably certain that it violates the CoC on this board.

I'm curious, how is my comment anti-semitic? In Bolivia it is a custom for people to spend Sundays at a sauna, and the nicest saunas are within the small Jewish communities in Bolivia.  When the saying is translated into Spanish, it means that the person desires to rise above their current socioeconomic status so they can mingle with successful people.

Middlesbrough

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #61 on: July 18, 2014, 01:29:39 PM »
I'm an asshole so I say 'I wasn't created to be poor, I was created to be the only Bolivian in a sauna full of Jews'  Ironically enough one of my friends is Jewish lol Basically I've never cared what other people thought, so negativity from others has never affected me :)

I would say your first statement is true mostly based on your anti-semitic comment.

I'm reasonably certain that it violates the CoC on this board.

I'm curious, how is my comment anti-semitic? In Bolivia it is a custom for people to spend Sundays at a sauna, and the nicest saunas are within the small Jewish communities in Bolivia.  When the saying is translated into Spanish, it means that the person desires to rise above their current socioeconomic status so they can mingle with successful people.
The more you know (little star jets in the background).

hybrid

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #62 on: July 18, 2014, 01:30:45 PM »
I'm an asshole so I say 'I wasn't created to be poor, I was created to be the only Bolivian in a sauna full of Jews'  Ironically enough one of my friends is Jewish lol Basically I've never cared what other people thought, so negativity from others has never affected me :)

I would say your first statement is true mostly based on your anti-semitic comment.

I'm reasonably certain that it violates the CoC on this board.

I'm curious, how is my comment anti-semitic? In Bolivia it is a custom for people to spend Sundays at a sauna, and the nicest saunas are within the small Jewish communities in Bolivia.  When the saying is translated into Spanish, it means that the person desires to rise above their current socioeconomic status so they can mingle with successful people.

It's not. Mbl just threw a race card without cause. And that is more against the spirit of these boards than your statement (although perhaps you could have clarified that for all the non-Bolivians).

Get yourself one of these, and the negative comments don't matter much....

 

Cassie

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Re: How do you handle negative comments about your lifestyle?
« Reply #63 on: July 18, 2014, 05:05:27 PM »
I would venture to guess Goblinchief that they are not Fire yet because they want a higher standard of living when they do retire.  I notice when i read the ERE boards that many people there want a higher yearly income then on this board. It all boils down to what you want out of life & how comfortable you are with the unknowns that can hit you financially as you age.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!