Frankly, I find this so obnoxious. You seriously expect people that you consider to be your friends to cough up hundreds so that you can have a party for yourself? I think that's a pretty crappy way to treat friends.
The original post asked for feedback and suggestions, not insulting controversy. This type of feedback is unwelcome, thank you.
You may have decided...but what do your attendants think? I mean, what do they really think, not what are they telling you for fear of upsetting or disappointing you?
I
trust my friends to be very forward about any concerns that they have. We currently have a private Facebook event so that we can all swap ideas and express any challenges. I have every confidence that we can and
are honest with one another, so this is a non-issue.
My officemate is getting married in a couple of weeks. He's been to no fewer than FOUR bachelor parties in the last year, all destination.
I can certainly understand that - 4 trips in one year is ridiculous, period. I do know that among all invited, only one has ever been on a destination bachelor party before. That's part of the reason I want to have one - we currently don't see it as "another burdened trip." It's planned to be a completely new experience to almost all of us.
A few bachelor party thoughts, because it's been a few years since I had mine.
- If you want to have your friends all show up, make it as convenient as possible for them. The important thing is the people, right? So make it a place that's easy to fly to. I did mine in Denver - why? Because it's a major airport hub - ten people showed up, and all of them had nonstop flights. That's a huge time-saver for folks.
- Another benefit of doing it in an Actual Place - airbnb/vrbo. Rent a big house. You can hang out a bunch, cook together, drink a ton, and your costs will be way, way less than at a resort. Places you can do this in the States that involve beaches and are air hubs: LA, Miami, Houston. Mountains: Denver, Seattle.
- Do awesome stuff that's beyond "drink yourself into a stupor." We had three days - a day hiking, a day rafting, a day at a ballgame. Again - fun, relatively inexpensive, and social. It helped a bunch to have a couple of locals who lived in the area around to do some scoping, but...yeah. That was awesome.
Think outside the norm - that's what this site and community are about.
Now this right here is some
good, quality feedback. Thank you for offering up some solid suggestions.
Individuals who "cannot understand" my concern probably don't have the perspective to help me make a decision (CLARIFICATION: It isn't that their perspective is "wrong," because it isn't. I know that my way isn't "right," it's just my perspective. But it makes sense to me that someone who understands where I'm coming from is going to be most able to help. That's all I'm saying.)
I've caught some flak for opting out of wedding showers, weddings, etc., but over the past two years I have used a smattering of mostly-true reasons to bow out: my budget is very tight right now, I can't get the time off work, my SO is paying down debt and can't afford plane tickets. Maybe this is a cold way to view our friendship, but if I don't see myself sitting on the porch shooting the shit with someone in 30 years, then I probably don't need to be at their wedding now.
I don't think that's a "cold" point of view at all - I completely agree with you. I've also had to bow-out of some events for the exact same reasons, I'm certainly not going to expect that
my event will somehow be the exception for anyone else.
I am grateful for the
positive suggestions and feedback that I've gotten so far! If you want to call my rough-draft bachelor party plan any shade of "ridiculous," please do so somewhere else. I will blast away your judgments with my polished Optimism Guns! (Because whatever we end up deciding to do, it's going to be a fantastic time)