Childcare - we have to figure this out, but we think my wife's mother will be able to watch the baby at least one day per week, with the other days being daycare or nanny . . . our kids in the neighborhood where our family lives and I want our child to go to those schools rather than the public schools in Queens (which I guess means we've got a limit of 5 years or so).
Something you may not realize since you're not yet "in the daycare system": When you enroll a kid in daycare, you have to enroll him full time. So even if a relative watches the child 1-2 days a week, you'd probably still have to pay for full time care. Of course, if you found an at-home sitter who only wanted part-time work, you might avoid that problem, but that's a fairly remote possibility.
When your baby's born and you're so involved in infant and toddler care, school seems so far away . . . but those five years will fly by in no time, and it won't be long 'til you'll be the parents of a school-aged child. If you're dead-set on those schools, don't wait 'til the last minute.
If your wife does choose to do this, I recommend waiting until the baby is about six months or a year in age before she starts watching other children. You have enough savings to get you through that. The first few months with a new baby can be really tough.
Excellent advice! You can't know whether she'll have an easy or difficult delivery. My first delivery wasn't that bad, but my recovery was awful. In contrast, an hour after my second child was born, I could literally have picked her up and walked home. I was "myself" again in days. You just can't know which outcome she'll have.
I'll throw this in:
If I were going to take in kids, I'd consider after-school kids instead of all-day kids. The money is less, of course, but you still get most of the day to yourself and your own children.
To ScottEric: Right now, my one-way commute is 40 minutes by bike, 50 minutes to an hour by subway. By NJ Transit/Subway from Rockland, it will be about an hour and a half to 2 hours each way.
No, no, no! This is way too long -- unless you have extenuating circumstances, like you can work from home a couple days a week. If you're looking at an everyday thing, this would take you away from your new baby. After working and making that commute, you'd be exhausted and no use to your wife when you come home. No way I'd agree to this on an every-day basis.
This becomes more of an issue of personal/family decisions rather than strictly financial decisions. Does you wife WANT to stay home with the baby? I may be in the minority here....but I think this is the first question to answer. Then - work your finances around that.
Yeah, I agree that this is the first question that should be answered. Likely you can afford to do whichever you want, but either way some sacrifice will be required: Do the two of you want her home enough that you're willing to accept the financial sacrifices that come with that choice, or Do you want to give up family time for the financial stability. This question involves so many moving parts:
- I'm sure you can put food on the table and live indoors if you're the only breadwinner, but how does this choice affect your long-term financial plans?
- If she leaves the work force, how easy would it be for her to get another job if she needs/wants to return?
- If she leaves the work force, does she have any method for keeping her toes in the professional world so that in future years she won't be "behind" and unqualified?
- Does she have any options for part-time or job sharing?
- Do you have good insurance options for the family?
- Nobody wants to think about this one, but is the marriage stable? In case of divorce, a spouse who hasn't been working sometimes finds herself in dire straits.
- How will each option affect your daily lifestyle? If she works, how will the two of you manage the day care pick-up/drop-off, cooking, cleaning and more? If she stays home, how will the two of you divide the household chores? Don't assume anything -- talk about these things.
In closing, no suggestion. I see big pros and cons for each of your options, and I don't see a clear-cut "This is the right answer". I can only suggest things you should consider!