SPeaking as someone who lives in snowy Quebec, Canada, the single biggest thing you can do to improve your safety while driving in snowy conditions is to have on dedicated snow tires. Snow tires on FWD cars are far better than all-season tires on an AWD/4WD vehicle.
People here drive compact cars daily and we average 6-8 feet of snow every winter.
As for which vehicle; since safety/survivability is a top concern for you give the NIHS crash tests a good look. But otherwise I'd look for a used vehicle that's gets good fuel mileage, is just big enough for what you need it for on a weekly basis and realize that anything bigger/fancier is just delaying your patch to financial independence. Buy dedicated snow tires and have them mounted on steel rims (this will save you $$ in the long run having them changed every spring/summer).
Finally, given your apprehention about driving again I would strongly suggest contacting an adult driving school and asking for a few sessions of driving in snowy/icy conditions. This isn't uncommon nad a decent driving instructor can walk you through how to correct a skid, how to drive defensively, etc.