Author Topic: Babies... some people make it sound so easy  (Read 47758 times)

elaine amj

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #50 on: September 14, 2015, 01:52:49 PM »
Yes to sleeping issues!  My first kid (the one with nursing problems) slept through the night like a dream and my second was a colicky, no-sleep screaming machine.  Biggest thing I would suggest is just change your mindset and just accept it.  Accept that you will not get nearly enough sleep for the foreseeable future.  I spent weeks driving myself crazy trying to figure out what we were doing wrong (lists, logs, charts, diet changes, you name it!).  The only thing that worked was accepting that there was nothing I could do.

Too true. My first child, we were able to sleep train and she slept reasonably well after that. My second baby....well, he didn't sleep through the night until he was 7/8. Honestly, like many others have said, I forget most of the details now. I remember claiming he slept through the night around 6 years or so. I had moved past frustration into acceptance and just didn't think about it anymore. About a year or two after that, I was talking to someone with a newborn and commiserating with the lack of sleep when I realized I was STILL waking up 2x a night with my son!! He would come to get me when he wanted to go to the bathroom and dumb (half asleep) mom that I was, I would dutifully get up and escort him (to the bathroom he had to walk past to get to my room) and then tuck him back into bed. TWICE A NIGHT. Cracked me up when I realized. Took me a few months of reminders and finally for the first time in many, many years, I would sleep through the night.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2015, 04:09:50 PM by elaine amj »

jeromedawg

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #51 on: September 14, 2015, 02:01:20 PM »
Most people either do not remember or just lie when it comes to their kids. Its funny, because usually the dads, not the moms, gave good advice when I would ask questions about what its like to have a newborn in the house. The moms made it seem all roses and happiness. The dads would give it to me straight and then just say "it gets easier and eventually you understand that it was worth it".

LOL! I think my wife is gonna be the kind who will straight up tell you it sucks... if anything, I'M the one who would make it all sound like smiles, laughs, and happy time. Of course, when I *am* able to make my kid smile or smirk, it probably is more rewarding getting him to do that than it would be if he were the baseline perfect child the whole time (maybe for *those* parents they try to figure out what they can do to make their kids cry behind closed doors...hahahahaha)

jeromedawg

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #52 on: September 14, 2015, 02:05:36 PM »
LOL, so another question for all of you regarding babies on airplanes. I keep hearing (and have experienced) mixed stories... usually the parents who have the kid who didn't cry or complain once are the ones telling those stories. And otherwise, it's everyone else who sat in front of, behind, or next to the couple who brought their "devil child" on with them who are complaining. I'm a bit scared to travel with our kid anytime soon given how fussy he can be. We are thinking about visiting home for the holidays (either a 1hr flight or 6-7hr drive). We may end up just driving as it's not *that* bad of a drive...of course I say that never having driven with a baby for that long LOL! But I'd rather do that than risk a thousand stares of anger with a wailing baby on a plane.

My SIL and brother both "airplane trained" their kids starting off young - they told me neither of them really fussed much on the plane. I'm sure that's not true for 99% of people out there though.

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #53 on: September 14, 2015, 02:08:16 PM »
We flew with a four-month old and she just nursed while sleeping on my wife the whole flight. I think a baby might even be easier (unless they're in ear pain) than a toddler, who wants to do stuff and is annoyed that they can't.

Flew with our now-nearly-two-year-old last week, and she asked to go outside. In the sky.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2015, 02:10:05 PM by ShoulderThingThatGoesUp »

milliemchi

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #54 on: September 14, 2015, 02:20:39 PM »
Without reading all the posts, I saw some references to post-partum depression and medication in this mainly breastfeeding thread, so just to add... There is a great reference book "Medications & Mothers' Milk", by T. Hale, which will put fears about SSRIs while breastfeeding to rest. It's a little technical, but the extra effort in understanding is worth the peace of mind.

FLBiker

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #55 on: September 14, 2015, 02:32:25 PM »
Lots of good stuff here.  We also struggled w/ BF.  DD is 5 months.  At 1 month (after exclusive breastfeeding) she was @ birth weight.  Our pediatrician said "either we start supplementing or we go to the ER".  We've been supplementing since.  We did a bunch (8 oz, initially) for the first couple of weeks, but have been @ 1.5 - 2 oz of formula for the last couple of months and that seems to be the magic number.  We didn't go into it expecting BF to be really easy, but my wife was still bummed about supplementing.  She'd read some stuff about how mixing formula and breastmilk would jack up digestion.  We had no such issues, though.

mm1970

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #56 on: September 14, 2015, 02:39:31 PM »
Whether it's breastfeeding (which is the current dilemma my wife is in - not seemingly producing enough and feeling like she may need to supplement with formula) to how well/much the baby sleeps at night. My wife is discouraged because it just seems like quite a few people haven't really had these issues; I know it's not something to feel bad about and I'm sure I'm gonna hear "It's never actually what people make it out to be" etc but it really sucks. I guess this is part of the whole postpartum depression thing... or adds onto it if anything. The whole [lack of] breast milk supply is really a revelation to us - either a lot of our friends aren't telling us something (out of shame maybe?) or they all have an abundant supply of flowing milk... *confused* I guess it's sort of a private thing for most people, but for something that can affect someone as much as this, I think it's good to share these disappointments and expectations and to be up front with anyone else who is an expecting mother.

Again, just another rant as a new/first-time parent.
I had plenty of milk, but many of my friends did not.  Some of them suffered and cried and felt like failures, but a few said "eh, I have to use formula" and moved on.

Even with plenty of milk, I had many issues with plugged ducts and mastitis.  It was awful, painful, you name it.  I charged through it with #1, but with #2 I started weaning at 8.5 months.

Sleep, baby #1 didn't sleep until about 8 months.  At 4 months, he could sleep 4 hours, at 8 months, 8 hours.  So I was really really tired.

Baby #2 slept 9 hours from 3 months of age till 7 months.  Then teething started.  Then he was up all. the. time. from 7 to 16 months.  Oy.  I mean really.  (And still up through age 2.5 occasional wakeups).

That's the truth. 
My brother's 2nd baby was sleeping through the night at 1 month (formula fed).
I did meet one woman once at a park whose kid slept through the night nearly from birth.  I looked at her like she had two heads.

You are totally normal.

charis

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #57 on: September 14, 2015, 02:40:46 PM »
Lots of good stuff here.  We also struggled w/ BF.  DD is 5 months.  At 1 month (after exclusive breastfeeding) she was @ birth weight.  Our pediatrician said "either we start supplementing or we go to the ER".  We've been supplementing since.  We did a bunch (8 oz, initially) for the first couple of weeks, but have been @ 1.5 - 2 oz of formula for the last couple of months and that seems to be the magic number.  We didn't go into it expecting BF to be really easy, but my wife was still bummed about supplementing.  She'd read some stuff about how mixing formula and breastmilk would jack up digestion.  We had no such issues, though.

I can attest to the digestive issue too.  My first kid, who we supplemented by one week old, ever had a single issue, but my second kid, who never had formula and nursed for a year had to be put on Miralax for six months.  Totally the opposite of what you'd expect. 

And flying with an infant is usually fine, it's the older babies and toddlers that I found to be difficult.

TrMama

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #58 on: September 14, 2015, 02:49:11 PM »
LOL, so another question for all of you regarding babies on airplanes. I keep hearing (and have experienced) mixed stories... usually the parents who have the kid who didn't cry or complain once are the ones telling those stories. And otherwise, it's everyone else who sat in front of, behind, or next to the couple who brought their "devil child" on with them who are complaining. I'm a bit scared to travel with our kid anytime soon given how fussy he can be. We are thinking about visiting home for the holidays (either a 1hr flight or 6-7hr drive). We may end up just driving as it's not *that* bad of a drive...of course I say that never having driven with a baby for that long LOL! But I'd rather do that than risk a thousand stares of anger with a wailing baby on a plane.

My SIL and brother both "airplane trained" their kids starting off young - they told me neither of them really fussed much on the plane. I'm sure that's not true for 99% of people out there though.

I flew with my kids a bunch of times when they were 4 mo-4 years. Honestly, it's a crap shoot each and every time. Sometimes they're little angels, and some flights were so horrible I've completely blocked them from memory. "Airplane training" sounds like hubris to me.

However, under 6 months (before the baby is mobile) are generally good. They're happy to sit on your lap and aren't strapped in a car seat where you can't easily comfort them. I'd take a 1 hour flight with a screaming kid over a 7 hour drive (it will take longer than without a kid!) with an angelic baby any day.

merula

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #59 on: September 14, 2015, 02:53:07 PM »
Re: flying with children. I've never flown with a little baby, but I've flown with 14 mos to 3 years. Toddlers are harder because they're less likely to nap and want to run around and kick seats. My first flight with my oldest, he was 14 mos and we flew transatlantic. He barely slept at all. My first flight with my youngest, he was also 14 months, it was a 3 hour flight. He slept from before takeoff to after landing. The difference is that the youngest was in his car seat; I think it really helped that he had a familiar, comfortable seat.

As a frequent business flyer pre-kids, the only time I would get annoyed at loud children was when their parents weren't doing anything, and that's a pretty much universal attitude, I think. If you're going to fly with children, you have to make them your primary focus for the entire flight. But, on the other hand, this is not the time to be out for parent of the year. My kids have had benadryl, unhealthy snacks and way too much screen time on planes. My attitude was, whatever it takes to keep them quiet, and it's not like these 3-8 hours are going to undo months of good parenting.

Stache-O-Lantern

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #60 on: September 14, 2015, 03:05:36 PM »
Please don't have any negative feelings at all about having to supplement with formula.  My wife didn't produce enough either, maybe half of what our kid could suck down.  For the first two weeks she just gave breast milk.  At the two week checkup the doctor marked "failure to thrive" because the baby was 2 ounces shy of his birthweight, and ordered us to supplement with formula over that weekend.  We did, and he put on a bunch of weight in 2 days.  Telling a mother her baby is failing to thrive causes some tears.

My wife gave breastmilk for the first year, but the last 6 months or so that was exclusively via pumping.  Breastfeeding was always hard on her nipples in the early months.  We had a lactation consultant come and visit a couple times, and over the phone.  But it turns out my wife has (cough, ahem), large nipples which were part of the issue.  The lactation consultant said this, and that's a woman who sees a lot of nipples.  Once she began pumping only, and supplemented with breastmilk, things got easier.  Having some pumped milk around, and supplementing with formula, helped with sleep for everyone since my wife and I could trade off feedings.  I've since read somewhere that a baby that gets any breastmilk, gets most of the benefits of breastmilk (immunity issues and all that i think, nut just nutrition/calories).

AZDude

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #61 on: September 14, 2015, 03:10:04 PM »
LOL, so another question for all of you regarding babies on airplanes. I keep hearing (and have experienced) mixed stories... usually the parents who have the kid who didn't cry or complain once are the ones telling those stories. And otherwise, it's everyone else who sat in front of, behind, or next to the couple who brought their "devil child" on with them who are complaining. I'm a bit scared to travel with our kid anytime soon given how fussy he can be. We are thinking about visiting home for the holidays (either a 1hr flight or 6-7hr drive). We may end up just driving as it's not *that* bad of a drive...of course I say that never having driven with a baby for that long LOL! But I'd rather do that than risk a thousand stares of anger with a wailing baby on a plane.

My SIL and brother both "airplane trained" their kids starting off young - they told me neither of them really fussed much on the plane. I'm sure that's not true for 99% of people out there though.

A 1-hour flight will be a piece of cake.

KCM5

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #62 on: September 14, 2015, 03:12:49 PM »
Regarding flying with a small baby - I'd take a 6-7 hour drive any day. I've flown quite a bit with my kid and have never had any issues. But overnight trips with small babies require so much stuff. I'm thinking of the baby's bassinet in particular. And the car seat he/she is used to. Drive, take your time.

When our child was 2-6 months long car trips were so easy! Drive for 3 hours while baby naps. Stop to eat/get gas, wake, feed and change baby, play for a few minutes, then off to drive again where she would promptly fall asleep. It was excellent.

jeromedawg

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #63 on: September 14, 2015, 03:17:23 PM »
Regarding flying with a small baby - I'd take a 6-7 hour drive any day. I've flown quite a bit with my kid and have never had any issues. But overnight trips with small babies require so much stuff. I'm thinking of the baby's bassinet in particular. And the car seat he/she is used to. Drive, take your time.

When our child was 2-6 months long car trips were so easy! Drive for 3 hours while baby naps. Stop to eat/get gas, wake, feed and change baby, play for a few minutes, then off to drive again where she would promptly fall asleep. It was excellent.

Good points on all the extra baby stuff...nearly forgot about that. We may have to bring more than we bargained for and we'd be going up probably for a week or maybe two. So driving is probably better in that case. Plus, I *hate* flying around the holidays in general, so probably not the best idea haha.

seemsright

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #64 on: September 14, 2015, 03:54:26 PM »
I had so many issues during pregnancy, postpartum, and breast feeding (the delivery was the easy part) that you could not pay me all of the money in this world to do that again...no way no how no thank you!

I had the most mellow kid on earth and she is still that way. She would nurse around the clock and I did that for 2 months then I spend 2 months pumping when my blood sugar hit 400 I had to stop. It was not worth trying to force my body to produce the breast milk.

I had 6 doctors blow me off with me thinking I had PPD. It finally took breaking down over a paper airplane when my daughter was 2 for someone to pay attention to me.

Do what feels right for your family. And tell everyone else to go eat rocks.

Krnten

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #65 on: September 14, 2015, 04:08:21 PM »
Oh man this is making me dread #2, who is coming in just a few weeks.  With #1 I thought I would nurse - that's what literally every single friend I know does.  Turns out, I didn't have the willpower to make it work with a small baby who wasn't latching well in the first few days and I didn't like pumping.  I had to have a C section too, which also bummed me out. 

I felt guilty for a while but was able to let it all go.  For this one my goal is to do everything the way that's easiest for me.  C section?  Awesome.  That means an extra two days of resting in the hospital (with infant care!), plus minimal pelvic floor recovery and great painkillers.  I just bought 4 cans formula at Costco this morning.  I refuse to struggle or feel bad when/after the baby comes.

Re. flying - I agree it's much easier with an infant than a toddler.  I second the Benadryl recommendation.  It got me through a cross country flight with a 6 month old. 
At this point, with a 2 year old, I don't see flying with her for longer than a couple hours until she's at least 4. 


cloudsail

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #66 on: September 14, 2015, 04:10:07 PM »
Absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing with formula. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. Ignore all the "formula is evil" talk. And whatever you do, DON'T BUY BREASTMILK OFF THE INTERNET. (For the record, I breastfed my son exclusively and supplemented at the beginning with my daughter.)

Also as parents, we developed pretty thick skins. I'm sure there were people casting annoyed looks at us when my daughter was screaming on the plane, but I didn't notice any of it.

jeromedawg

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #67 on: September 14, 2015, 04:48:05 PM »
Oh man this is making me dread #2, who is coming in just a few weeks.  With #1 I thought I would nurse - that's what literally every single friend I know does.  Turns out, I didn't have the willpower to make it work with a small baby who wasn't latching well in the first few days and I didn't like pumping.  I had to have a C section too, which also bummed me out. 

I felt guilty for a while but was able to let it all go.  For this one my goal is to do everything the way that's easiest for me.  C section?  Awesome.  That means an extra two days of resting in the hospital (with infant care!), plus minimal pelvic floor recovery and great painkillers.  I just bought 4 cans formula at Costco this morning.  I refuse to struggle or feel bad when/after the baby comes.

Re. flying - I agree it's much easier with an infant than a toddler.  I second the Benadryl recommendation.  It got me through a cross country flight with a 6 month old. 
At this point, with a 2 year old, I don't see flying with her for longer than a couple hours until she's at least 4.

My brother and sister in law have already flown to Hong Kong several times with both their boys, now 6 and 3. I think they started the first when he was two but I feel like they had already gone once or twice before that with him. And by the time the second one was here, they had him on a plane to Hong Kong within the first year along with the first. Crazy but they're all pros at it now and it seems like they fly pretty often.

Mongoose

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #68 on: September 14, 2015, 05:34:09 PM »
If it's any consolation, I ended up not being able to breastfeed either of my two. I made myself miserable with the first feeling like an utter failure, multiple lactation consultants etc. Finally one of the consultants with the La Leche league said that sometimes it just doesn't work out and to switch to formula after pumping failed as well. It wasn't any better with #2 who also had a latch issue. I gave up rather quickly that time. After talking with the Dr, some ladies may produce enough milk but have an issue with letdown. Some mother/baby pairs really can't exclusively breastfeed (or in my case breastfeed at all). Thankfully, formula exists and everyone will be ok.

Both kids are great at flying but it is tough work. When I say great, I mean only one screamed for 5 straight hours due to a hideously hot plane and mommy running out of his favorite beverage (he was weaned off formula but wanted milk...now!). They started flying at 6 weeks and 10 weeks. We stripped him down to his diaper, and walked the aisle. Most of the other passengers were sympathetic but I really wouldn't have cared. I kept electronics (tablets) as special "airplane only" toys. That helped. The best thing for flying for our family was to have sufficient food, desirable drink on hand, especially for descents. We also found that using their car seats on the flight helped as they were used to being strapped in them for several hours. We got ones that folded and had backpack straps for ease of transport through the airport.

what kind of adult brings a doll on a plane, I ask you?)
LOL! I had one of those fuzzy brown bear suits for my infants and a bunch of people thought I was carrying a teddy bear with me everywhere at a ski resort. Heheheheh. The strange looks were priceless.

Do what feels right for your family. And tell everyone else to go eat rocks.

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Argyle

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #69 on: September 14, 2015, 06:29:45 PM »
About the Benadryl some people use this to make their baby go to sleep on the plane.  You're not supposed to do this, but it's clear that some people do.  99% of babies and toddlers go to sleep on Benadryl.  But 1% it makes hyper, as in, wide awake and noisy and energetic all night on an overnight plane flights.  Don't ask me how I know.

bogart

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #70 on: September 14, 2015, 08:06:42 PM »
We did a 10 hr (20 r/t) drive with the LO when he was 2 months, and our first flight I think when he was 8 months, cross-country.  Both trips were mostly fine (see below).  I'll admit have no patience for people who think you shouldn't fly with babies/kids (this has been true for me both before and after becoming a mom), I mean, for heavens sake, parents and kids have the same right to travel as anyone else.

Our driving trip was totally fine, if exhausting -- of course that would have been true with or without a LO.  The flying trip had 2 "downsides," one was a leg where DS cried constantly, turned out he'd had some diarrhea (unheard of) that we didn't realize and address (i.e. he was in a yucky, poopy diaper for the duration of that flight) and of course his bottom hurt.  So I felt bad (for him), but no one complained, and of course we addressed the problem as soon as we became aware of it.  The other was a leg where I got air-queasy (not actually sick) and took some dramamine which knocks me out.  The flight itself was quite turbulent, and an older woman next to me took DS for a good bit of that part of the trip and was wonderful and tremendously helpful, her vocal conviction that we were all about to meet our maker (due to the plane falling out of the sky, which it certainly felt like might happen in a roller-coasterish way, but not otherwise) notwithstanding (I don't remember why DH wasn't the one who took DS, but for some reason she offered, and was great.  And he was fine with her). 

As for stuff, if you plan ahead you may find family can borrow a bunch of stuff you'll need (e.g. safe spot for baby to sleep -- pack'n'plays are great) so you don't need to haul lots.  But obviously it's worth checking on this, as who knows? 

Mikila

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #71 on: September 14, 2015, 08:13:57 PM »
The more a woman nurses, the more milk she produces.  Also beer- even non-alcoholic- and certain herbs help the body to produce.  If she supplements, the demand decreases and so does the supply.   

Krnten

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #72 on: September 14, 2015, 08:18:31 PM »
About the Benadryl some people use this to make their baby go to sleep on the plane.  You're not supposed to do this, but it's clear that some people do.  99% of babies and toddlers go to sleep on Benadryl.  But 1% it makes hyper, as in, wide awake and noisy and energetic all night on an overnight plane flights.  Don't ask me how I know.

This is true!! Test it beforehand if you're thinking of drugging your kids for flights :)

startingsmall

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #73 on: September 14, 2015, 09:07:52 PM »
Another breastfeeding flunkie here (July 2012 baby). Took the class, read the books, met with the lactation consultant several times (while in the hospital and after going home), discussed extensively with our very-pro-breastfeeding pediatrician, and finally had to start supplementing around a week old when my daughter just kept losing weight.  The first 5-6 weeks of her life were a miserable blur of trying (unsuccessfully) to breastfeed, pumping, and then feeding miniscule amounts of milk & formula by syringe/cup/etc to avoid nipple confusion.  It was absolutely awful and everyone was miserable.  We were feeding every 3 hours and our feeding routine took roughly 1.5-2 hours, so it was rough.  Finally, around 6 weeks old, my stepmom and husband convinced me that being a miserable mother wasn't doing my daughter any favors, so I decided to accept that I would be formula-feeding with supplemental breastmilk instead of vice-versa.  Stopped offering the breast at all, pumped what I could but didn't sweat it if I missed one of my every-3-hour pumping sessions, and considered anything I pumped to be a nice supplement to formula. I was down to pumping 2x/day by the time I returned to work at 12 weeks, and stopped completely a few weeks later.

It was the right choice for us, because I wasn't able to bond with my daughter when I was so stressed in every single one of our interactions. Not to say your wife should give up... but it isn't the end of the world if she can't work it out. Daughter is now 3 years old and has been very healthy, so it all worked out for us.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2015, 09:17:43 PM by startingsmall »

FLA

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #74 on: September 14, 2015, 09:51:32 PM »
 

AND colic.  So when he was screaming 18 hours a day, we were never sure if he was hungry, or it was the colic.   


They are so right that you will forget the bad things. I totally forgot that my first, the preemie syringe-fed baby) had it felt like 20 hrs a day of colic. I kept reading about colic and trying a bunch of stuff that did not work, spoke to the ped, suggested mylicon drops which are not even a "drug", they just help break up gas bubbles.  Did I listen to him? Of course not, I listened to all the crunchy, Earth mamas who would never give a baby a drug for colic.  Between colic and the BFing, I finally got to the point that I would try the mylicon.  Stopped screaming after first dose and passed so much gas, kept him on that for a little while and then he was fine. But I still feel guilty that I listened to other moms and not my ped, he got better so fast, it kills me to think he was colic-y and in pain and I let it go on way too long

jeromedawg

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #75 on: September 14, 2015, 10:26:02 PM »
I'm not quite sure why he's so fussy constantly. My mom thinks he's gassy. She was holding him upright just now and he had a big burp - so maybe it was just waiting to come up. I never can seem to get him to easily burp either.
And he always seems to want to eat and just cries and cries otherwise. He's also a kicker/puncher so he'll kick and take swings A LOT (and his nails get sharp). He just seems like such an angry child...

lhamo

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #76 on: September 14, 2015, 11:51:16 PM »
We moved overseas when our oldest was 9 months old and DD made her first transpacific trip at 2 months old.  Most people are pretty understanding/helpful if kids get fussy.  Do try to time flights for their natural sleep times, especially as they get older.  Infants are pretty easy to travel with.

I bought an expensive Medala pump on the way home from the hospital, but this one actually worked much better for me:

http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Manual-Breast-Discontinued-Manufacturer/dp/B001G2IAT4

It has been discontinued by the manufacturere (boo!), but there are still some resellers on Amazon with stock.  I found that the hand pumping allowed me to get much better flow, and it was just easier/more convenient to use than the electric pump.

Kellymom.com is great -- check out the tips for foods that increase milk supply (oatmeal was my go to).

And double, triple, quadruple thumbs up to everyone who has said to ignore anybody who gives you flack for anything related to childbirth, feeding or sleeping choices.  Do what works to get through it in as best shape as you all can.  I had two c-sections (DS was breech -- tried to turn him through every means possible but failed -- and DD just didn't want to come out so I wasn't able to do a VBAC with her), and resolved that I wasn't going to let anyone make me feel bad about that.  I had a HORRIBLE time with starting breastfeeding with both kids, but eventually it worked (a home visit from a LC was key with DS.  The one in the hospital sucked).  I pumped at work, froze milk, etc.  Had to wean DS at 10 months due to a work trip (no running water where I was going so even pump and dump wasn't an option) and weaned DD at 1 year when she bit me! 

LadyMaWhiskers

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #77 on: September 15, 2015, 12:26:51 AM »
I'm not quite sure why he's so fussy constantly. My mom thinks he's gassy. She was holding him upright just now and he had a big burp - so maybe it was just waiting to come up. I never can seem to get him to easily burp either.
And he always seems to want to eat and just cries and cries otherwise. He's also a kicker/puncher so he'll kick and take swings A LOT (and his nails get sharp). He just seems like such an angry child...

Reading your thread with wincing reminiscence. People often say it's gets better, and that does seem to be the case. And then somehow, you remember how tiny and precious he was, and less how he howled for hours or puked all over everything or kicked and bit, etc. I have a 9.5 month old now, and the first six months were really hard. The last few were also hard, but most of the stuff that "went wrong" in the first 6 months is not there now. Breastfeeding was excruciating for the first 10 days, which sounds like such a short time, but it's sheer agony to live through. Then, at 2 weeks old, my son started sending back his food routinely, and to make up for it, he nursed about 14 hours of the day. That's right - 14 hours. He was and remains a scratcher and a biter, and seems to enjoy using his strong legs for leverage to increase his chances of drawing blood. Cutie though.

What I actually wanted to say was, if you are prone toward sarcasm, one thing that's helpful for coping is to pretend some other acquaintance is doing what your son is doing, and be as appalled as you should be. Example: "It's been really great having Paul as a workout buddy, and we keep each other motivated. The only downside is that when I put on clean clothes after working out, he always pukes all over them."  Or, "I've been seeing this guy and it's going really well. I'm not sure what his deal is though, because if he lays on his back or stomach he just screams like someone put a fucking knife through his heart." This game helps remind you that it's totally reasonable to be put out by what babies put us though. Yes, children are the future. They make life worth living in some sense, but as a practical matter, at least when they are small, they fucking ruin your life on a minute-by-minute basis.

I look forward to continuing the sarcasm game with toddler antics..."The new boss is really great. She's totally on the ball... Unless you take the paper coffee cup that she wanted from the stack. They are all identical, but if you take the one she wanted, she drops to the ground and kicks her legs and flails and screams as if her eyes were doused in battery acid. If someone relents and gives her the cup, she chills out instantly. I think I'm going to start bringing a thermal mug."

Allie

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #78 on: September 15, 2015, 01:04:51 AM »
I love telling stories about how my babies made me crazy! 

My first ended up in the NICU on monitors, tubes, and needles for a bit after he was born.  He was too weak to latch and they happily fed him whatever milk I could pump and formula from a bottle.  After he left the hospital, he still couldn't latch.  After a few days of tears, frustrations, and lots of pumping, I went to a highly recommended lactation consultant.  She grabbed me and grabbed my son and shoved us together and he latched without a problem.  He nursed poorly despite an over abundance of milk and decent latch.  He would nurse a little, look around, nurse more, babble at me, nurse a bit, drool the milk out and make cute faces at whoever was in the room who would look.  I went all bottle by 9 months and he was thrilled to be able to sit up, hold the bottle and be part of the action.  Apparently being shoved up against my person wasn't his favorite.  To this day, he will sit at the table engaging in conversation and discussions while randomly picking at or refusing his food.  However, he slept through the night from a young age. 

My second latched within a few minutes of being born and was a voracious nurser until I weaned her at a year.  However, she would stay up all night screaming at me and barely napped.  The only time she wasn't screaming was when she was eating.  But, I had to be careful with this because some nights she would scream so long she would cause herself to vomit.  She just had colic.

I have friends whose kids were delivered in 5 minutes in a serene water bath then never yelled or fussed or refused kale or whatever.  How boring is that? 

For advice...see a lactation consultant.  Talk to a pediatrician about gas and GERD and the screaming.  Formula and bottles can be a life saver; anyone who gives you a hard time can go fuck themselves.  Your baby is not their baby and you do what is best for your baby.  Some babies are just hard, and that's OK.  Get your wife to talk to someone if she's struggling. 

With #2, I was seriously sleep deprived and, despite having lots of support, when I wasn't being screamed at, I had outrageous, stay up all night worrying, fears of my kids being eaten by bears.  Just being able to talk to my husband and have someone acknowledge that it was bizarre but OK to be anxious made a huge difference.  Then he bought me bear spray and brought the bear gun safe into the bedroom, which was awesome.  If talking to you and making some changes to the routine doesn't help, have her see someone.  Hormones can be the worst and its awful to think you are losing it.

Last thought...I ended up having a ton of milk as long as I ate.  The moment I tried to purposefully restrict my diet to shed baby weight or eat healthfully or whatever, the milk would disappear.  Milk requires tons of calories. 

I hope this is even a tiny bit helpful.  Good luck!

Bee21

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #79 on: September 15, 2015, 03:33:03 AM »
Cheer up, your offspring will be a delightful little person in a few years (until then they are really cute and peaceful when they sleep.Take lots of photos when they sleep and look at them in moments of despair).

There are a lot of things which nobody tells about parenting. Mostly because nobody wants to sound like a whinger and partly because they don't want to discourage you from having kids. Here is my introductory list.
-pregnancy sucks. your body will never be the same
-childbirth is a horrible/horrible experience which should be banned.
-breastfeeding can be shock horror (did that for 30 months w 2 kids before anybody calls LLL on me, but hated every minute of it). I just hated sterilizing bottles more than the pain.#psychomummy
-kids never sleep. it happens only to other people's children
-babies can scream for hours. for no,particular.reason, just for the heck of it.
-toddlers destroy everything they touch. You will never have a clean house ever again.
-you will lose your me time and your own space. FOREVER. (it seems)
-as they  get older you'll have to put up with your annoying friends and their annoying parents. Your own social life disappears.
-little kids are disgusting germ carriers who bring home every nasty germ and virus from the neighbourhood.
-your deep philosophical conversations will be reduce to talking about the pee the pooh and the vomit for a long time.being s
-and I am not even talking about being stuck on the mummy tracks career wise forever because you know, we can't have it all.

There. Now you know.

Disclaimer: I love my kids. I want more. Am devastated that my husband refuses to have more (for the aforementioned reasons).


Bee21

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #80 on: September 15, 2015, 03:39:12 AM »
oh hell, my spelling .....but I haven't slept for 6 years ya know. :)

asiljoy

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #81 on: September 15, 2015, 03:58:04 AM »
I think it's good to share these disappointments and expectations and to be up front with anyone else who is an expecting mother.
Amen!  I make a point to never tell people how wonderfully, magically mothering is.  Especially newborns!

However, when telling people the truth, I have had people tell me they don't want to hear negative experiences, and that most likely won't happen to them.  (A) It not a negative, it's truthful AND has a happy ending, so hear me out:)  (B) How fabulous that, that won't happen to you.  Don't call me when it does.  (Kidding, I'm always willing to help).
My SIL had 3 babies before I had my first. She always said that the first year is the worst and I just didn't get it. I thought she was a crazy person, I mean, who doesn't love babies. Oh, wait, me! That first year was a freakin nightmare of terrible.

Trifele

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #82 on: September 15, 2015, 05:50:01 AM »
Jplee -- I haven't read all the replies here, but it is ok to supplement with formula.  With our first we tried to exclusively breast feed, and it was not doable for us due to work issues (I was working full time).  We heard all kinds of dire warnings from people -- "If you give formula the baby won't drink breast milk!  She'll have nipple confusion!"  Nope.  It worked fine.  I kept nursing her for six months, and she got formula during the day while I was at work. She liked both.   You do what you can. 

Good luck with everything.  You will get through it and it will be fine.  I agree with the folks who are telling you to only spend time with supportive friends. The one-upping kind of friend will drain you. 

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #83 on: September 15, 2015, 06:28:02 AM »
He isn't angry, he doesn't really have control over his arms.

Burping - I ended up doing something I hadn't read anywhere but worked for my girl. I called it gorilla pose. I got her into a sort of wobbly squat with her knees going into her belly and some of her weight on her arms. Gas definitely makes them sad.

Guesl982374

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #84 on: September 15, 2015, 06:46:34 AM »
I didn't read all of the responses as it looks like there was a lot of great advise about getting help from specialists.

When faced with these types of situations, I remind myself that no one ever posts/talks about how they are commuting at 5 or 6am every day or in this case, how difficult their child is. People like to project the best possible verison of themselves or their lives at all times. It is just basic image crafting. Realize that many of your friends most likely went through similar struggles whether on breastfeeding or other child related issues.

markbrynn

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #85 on: September 15, 2015, 06:53:00 AM »
My overriding advice would be to not pay attention/care what other people think/say. It's the most important lesson in life (in my opinion) and fits very well with dealing with babies. It's better to walk your own path than try to convince yourself and others that breastfeeding isn't healthy or important. It is healthy and imporant is just a judgment.

The one caveat that I would add is: don't always take the easy way. If you've tried to breastfeed and it just isn't working, then move on to formula and don't doubt yourself and care what others think. However, make sure you've given it a fair shot. That would (in my opinion) include calling in an expert to help learn how to do it. Early days of parenthood are difficult (lack of sleep, emotions, lack of experience) so don't be hard on yourself. You should know if you're being reasonable/practical or a wimp (in the sense of not making a fair effort).

There are lots of things in life that are healthier/better for you and your family. It is highly recommended that we all choose many of these healthier ways, but no one is ever going to do all of them. Make your choices and be happy with them. In fact, this ties in very nicely with the MMM credo. Know the facts and then make your choices. And don't be swayed by what the general population does/thinks.

Distshore

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #86 on: September 15, 2015, 07:45:21 AM »
I'm not quite sure why he's so fussy constantly. My mom thinks he's gassy. She was holding him upright just now and he had a big burp - so maybe it was just waiting to come up. I never can seem to get him to easily burp either.
And he always seems to want to eat and just cries and cries otherwise. He's also a kicker/puncher so he'll kick and take swings A LOT (and his nails get sharp). He just seems like such an angry child...

Hate me for having an "easy baby".  He is breastfed and generally a sweet, determined little guy.  But when he was born, forget all that "10-12 x nursing per day", 20 min every 2 hours.  He ate a solid 14 hours per day, with a 3-5 hour CONTINUOUS nursing session in the evening.  I did not have a supply problem.  He just wanted to be on the boob that much, and frankly every time he so much as whimpered I just changed his diaper and stuffed the boob in his mouth.  It worked.  I nursed him sometimes 18 + times per day. 

Don't worry about schedules, how often or long he "should" be eating...he will have his own rhythm.  If he is gaining weight, and your wife and baby both like to breastfeed, then just go with it.  Be aware that she will have nothing else she can do except sit on the couch and feed him for 3 months.  I showered once a week lol....

If that is your situation, please just bring your wife lots of tea, water, juice and food, because sitting on the couch feeding an infant burns a crazy amount of calories and is extremely physically draining.  Foot massages work too (not that I ever got any).
Your wife only has a supply issue if your little guy is failing to gain weight appropriately.

MayDay

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #87 on: September 15, 2015, 07:58:31 AM »
I'm not quite sure why he's so fussy constantly. My mom thinks he's gassy. She was holding him upright just now and he had a big burp - so maybe it was just waiting to come up. I never can seem to get him to easily burp either.
And he always seems to want to eat and just cries and cries otherwise. He's also a kicker/puncher so he'll kick and take swings A LOT (and his nails get sharp). He just seems like such an angry child...

It would appear your heathen devil baby is related to my heathen devil babies.

Mine screamed if they weren't nursing.  The only thing that worked was baby wearing.  They would chill if I was walking around with them in the sling.  Many a night at 3 am you could find me pacing around the living room with DD in the sling, trying to get her to go back to sleep so I could sleep too.  In the evenings, forget it, it had to be a walk in the sling OUTSIDE.  In the house was not going to cut it.  Whereas with DS, it had to be nursing straight from 7-10 pm.

With DD I do think she had gas/tummy ache/whatever.  If helped to hold her across my forearm with pressure on her belly.  Or in a sling, forward facing, so the sling was pushing on her belly (imagine a complicated wrap tied so there was pressure on her belly, but of course she was tiny and shouldn't have really been facing out so I had to completely support her head and neck, too.  That was not a joyful period). 

Babies man.  They are insane. 

Neustache

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #88 on: September 15, 2015, 08:27:55 AM »
Here's the thing with breastfeeding - it sucks and then it's awesome.
If you can get through the curve with mom and baby not about to die - ie failure to thrive and/or no shaken baby issues because mom is dead tired and thinking of harming self or baby - breastfeeding is SO MUCH EASIER than dealing with formula or bottles in the later months. 

But those first few months suck.  No judgment here if you all go with formula. 

I remember sitting and nursing for about three solid hours every night from 5-8.  And yes, gas can be an issue - you have to really get the gas out - try bicycling legs, various burping positions, etc.

What's funny (well not to you) is that on another thread people were trying to warn a future mother about just how hard babies can be but she was having none of it.  Did not appreciate the warnings because she was ready. And for real, she is as ready as you can be....except I don't think having a stash of frozen dinners still can prepare you for how much it can suck.  Some get lucky and have a super easy time of it, but for most of us it's hell.

My 2nd was easier, plus I knew what I was doing a bit more and didn't have hormonal issues.  It was still hellish. 

Good luck to both of you!


Gin1984

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #89 on: September 15, 2015, 08:38:14 AM »
I'm not quite sure why he's so fussy constantly. My mom thinks he's gassy. She was holding him upright just now and he had a big burp - so maybe it was just waiting to come up. I never can seem to get him to easily burp either.
And he always seems to want to eat and just cries and cries otherwise. He's also a kicker/puncher so he'll kick and take swings A LOT (and his nails get sharp). He just seems like such an angry child...

Hate me for having an "easy baby".  He is breastfed and generally a sweet, determined little guy.  But when he was born, forget all that "10-12 x nursing per day", 20 min every 2 hours.  He ate a solid 14 hours per day, with a 3-5 hour CONTINUOUS nursing session in the evening.  I did not have a supply problem.  He just wanted to be on the boob that much, and frankly every time he so much as whimpered I just changed his diaper and stuffed the boob in his mouth.  It worked.  I nursed him sometimes 18 + times per day. 

Don't worry about schedules, how often or long he "should" be eating...he will have his own rhythm.  If he is gaining weight, and your wife and baby both like to breastfeed, then just go with it.  Be aware that she will have nothing else she can do except sit on the couch and feed him for 3 months.  I showered once a week lol....

If that is your situation, please just bring your wife lots of tea, water, juice and food, because sitting on the couch feeding an infant burns a crazy amount of calories and is extremely physically draining.  Foot massages work too (not that I ever got any).
Your wife only has a supply issue if your little guy is failing to gain weight appropriately.
Which does happen.  My daughter lost enough weight that if we had not supplemented she would have ended up back in the hospital.  And this was after being up 24 hrs trying to nurse every second she wanted. 

hunniebun

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #90 on: September 15, 2015, 08:46:57 AM »
I have no meaningful advice that hasn't already been mentioned.  Do whatever it takes to stay sane, try to let go of any guilt about not doing the 'right things' - you are clearly great parents doing everything in your power to keep your LO safe and growing and feeling loved.  Just keep it up and ask for help if you need it. PPD is no joke.  Good luck with the journey and holiday planning.  To fly or drive for me would depend on how well baby liked the car seat. I think an hour of screaming in a plane would be preferable to six hours screaming in a car (for those kids who hate car seats...my second did, with a passion). 

catccc

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #91 on: September 15, 2015, 08:51:05 AM »
flying with babies.  did a cross country (philly to seattle) with our first as a 3 month old, and also a cross-the-world when she was 18 months.  The longest leg was 18 hours and she was fine.  Just be ready with ways to preoccupy him/her.  Special toys, etc.  Both times got comments like "what a good baby" from adults sitting next to me.  But I wasn't flying for their approval, so if your baby cries part of the time, meh.  Everyone will get over it.  This is life, people, we have babies and they cry sometimes!

DFJD

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #92 on: September 15, 2015, 09:20:38 AM »
We have a two month old.  I also had a lot of trouble nursing at the beginning, and he wasn't gaining weight like he should.

Here is what worked for me:

Camp out on the couch. 

Load up Law & Order on Netflix.

Drink no more than 2.5 beers a day, no less than one (but no back to back beers, and only if she likes beer).   

Nurse baby every time he woke up.

Eat a LOT of high fat food. 

It took a week, but it worked.  Kid is now 15 pounds - has doubled his birth weight in 8 weeks - and milk supply is maybe a little too good.  Also, honestly, it was amazing.  Babies are amazing.  And I'll never have a great excuse to lie on the couch all day and stare at my newborn in between episodes of my favorite TV show while my husband brings me snacks and drinks on demand again.  Just my two cents, but it took me a while to figure out that the problem with my milk supply wasn't a lack of healthy eating and perfect latching technique, but actually a lack of insufficient contact between little bud's mouth and the boob, and not enough fat and beer. 

DFJD

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #93 on: September 15, 2015, 09:29:33 AM »
PS.  Oh yes.  Sleep.  What is that, again? 

No, I'm joking.  He started sleeping 4 consecutive hours at a time last week.  It's amazing.  I have mom friends whose babies sleep from 7-7, and I must admit to being insanely jealous, but I presume he'll be sleeping through the night by the time he goes off to college.

Distshore

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #94 on: September 15, 2015, 09:33:12 AM »
I'm not quite sure why he's so fussy constantly. My mom thinks he's gassy. She was holding him upright just now and he had a big burp - so maybe it was just waiting to come up. I never can seem to get him to easily burp either.
And he always seems to want to eat and just cries and cries otherwise. He's also a kicker/puncher so he'll kick and take swings A LOT (and his nails get sharp). He just seems like such an angry child...

Hate me for having an "easy baby".  He is breastfed and generally a sweet, determined little guy.  But when he was born, forget all that "10-12 x nursing per day", 20 min every 2 hours.  He ate a solid 14 hours per day, with a 3-5 hour CONTINUOUS nursing session in the evening.  I did not have a supply problem.  He just wanted to be on the boob that much, and frankly every time he so much as whimpered I just changed his diaper and stuffed the boob in his mouth.  It worked.  I nursed him sometimes 18 + times per day. 

Don't worry about schedules, how often or long he "should" be eating...he will have his own rhythm.  If he is gaining weight, and your wife and baby both like to breastfeed, then just go with it.  Be aware that she will have nothing else she can do except sit on the couch and feed him for 3 months.  I showered once a week lol....

If that is your situation, please just bring your wife lots of tea, water, juice and food, because sitting on the couch feeding an infant burns a crazy amount of calories and is extremely physically draining.  Foot massages work too (not that I ever got any).
Your wife only has a supply issue if your little guy is failing to gain weight appropriately.
Which does happen.  My daughter lost enough weight that if we had not supplemented she would have ended up back in the hospital.  And this was after being up 24 hrs trying to nurse every second she wanted.

Yes, it does.  I am glad your LO was appropriately monitored and got what she needed to thrive.  My only point (and sorry if this didn't come across clearly) was that just because the baby wants to nurse round the clock doesn't mean there's something wrong with the breastfeeding relationship.  Of course, it also doesn't mean there's not....the little buggers just vary so much!

LadyMaWhiskers

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #95 on: September 15, 2015, 09:43:07 AM »
We have a two month old.  I also had a lot of trouble nursing at the beginning, and he wasn't gaining weight like he should.

Here is what worked for me:

Camp out on the couch. 

Load up Law & Order on Netflix.


Solid advice. I watched 4-5 episodes of Law and Order per day in the first 2 months of my son's life. I was shocked that he slept so peacefully through all the murder, but there you have it.

I don't know if this is relevant to the OP, but for me one of the hardest parts of nursing in the early days was getting over "conventional wisdom" and "other people's opinions." Some babies may eat every 3 hours and quickly move to every 4, but my guy only went more than 2 hours between feedings a couple times per day, and spent two 5 hours blocks pretty much eating 40 out of every 60 minutes. And then they outgrow that, but it's hard to keep your spirits up when books and other people look at you sideways.

elaine amj

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #96 on: September 15, 2015, 10:06:08 AM »
We have a two month old.  I also had a lot of trouble nursing at the beginning, and he wasn't gaining weight like he should.

Here is what worked for me:

Camp out on the couch. 

Load up Law & Order on Netflix.

Drink no more than 2.5 beers a day, no less than one (but no back to back beers, and only if she likes beer).   

Nurse baby every time he woke up.

Eat a LOT of high fat food. 

It took a week, but it worked.  Kid is now 15 pounds - has doubled his birth weight in 8 weeks - and milk supply is maybe a little too good.  Also, honestly, it was amazing.  Babies are amazing.  And I'll never have a great excuse to lie on the couch all day and stare at my newborn in between episodes of my favorite TV show while my husband brings me snacks and drinks on demand again.  Just my two cents, but it took me a while to figure out that the problem with my milk supply wasn't a lack of healthy eating and perfect latching technique, but actually a lack of insufficient contact between little bud's mouth and the boob, and not enough fat and beer.

LOL! I love that!

What did actually get me through nursing were hours and hours and hours of my favorite TV show and my favorite books. I would read/watch TV. it got me through the torture of nursing to have something to look forward to. And I ALWAYS ate while they nursed. I had granola bars and assorted other snacks beside me all the time. And hey, I had the perfect excuse why I couldn't clean the house/cook dinner!

zarfus

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #97 on: September 15, 2015, 10:44:24 AM »
Just thought I'd share my experience.

We were just like you, wanting to BF so bad, but it just wasn't happening.  It affected his sleep, mood, etc.  As soon as we started supplementing with formula, his whole life changed.  We fed him solids as early as we could (I think around 4mo) as well, and to this day (1yr) he is an eating champion.

It will get better.  And it will get worse.  Some day my son may start throwing all his food and his eating ways are gone...but maybe not.  Everybody will compare parenting and kids, but you gotta let that go and do what's best for your kid.

Our second is on his way as well, so we'll see how that one goes!  I'm crossing my fingers for a good sleeper :)

Cheers!

teen persuasion

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #98 on: September 15, 2015, 11:01:59 AM »
I'm not quite sure why he's so fussy constantly. My mom thinks he's gassy. She was holding him upright just now and he had a big burp - so maybe it was just waiting to come up. I never can seem to get him to easily burp either.
And he always seems to want to eat and just cries and cries otherwise. He's also a kicker/puncher so he'll kick and take swings A LOT (and his nails get sharp). He just seems like such an angry child...

Ah, the learning curve.  Their nails grow fast, and are really fine, thus they are sharp.  Trim them often (weekly, maybe), so he isn't scratching himself, or you.  Mitts or socks over his hands is another old fashioned option, but they can come off, especially if he's a feisty one.  I often trimmed the babies' nails while they were quiet, which meant while BFing (yeah, that took a while to manage).

As another poster mentioned, the arm flailing is really just due to the immaturity of his nervous system and lack of control over his body.  You could try wrapping him tightly in a receiving blanket like the hospital did - many babies prefer being swaddled.  He's spent 9 months in tight quarters, and now the big wide world is unfamiliar.  Try it to see if baby prefers it, drop it if he doesn't.

Crying is the only way he has to communicate at this point, and he probably only knows that he is somehow uncomfortable: hungry, tummy ache, cold, hot, wet, cranky tired, whatever.  It is really frustrating (on both sides) when we as parents can't figure out what is wrong.  Relax, talk in soothing tones, and work your way thru the likely reasons (diaper check, assess temp, burp, food, etc).  Babies can pick up on our strong emotions, and work themselves into a frenzy beyond the original complaint, so stay as calm as you can, and pass off the baby to another helper as needed to maintain your own sanity.

Re: eating all the time - newborns are growing at an amazing rate, and still developing.  They really need to eat nearly round the clock early on - tiny little tummies don't hold much and need refilling often, and mom's milk supply needs to ramp up from zero!  It doesn't stay this way forever; baby will grow bigger, supply should match (in a perfect world), baby can get a bigger meal at a time and nurse less often plus hopefully sleep longer between meals.

Hang in there, it gets better!

lukebuz

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Re: Babies... some people make it sound so easy
« Reply #99 on: September 15, 2015, 11:24:05 AM »
I haven't read all the replies yet, but I'll chime in and say the wife also had to "supplement" with formula.  But it was more like 85% formula, 15% bm.  LOL.  Our premie 5lb'er not only caught up with all the growth charts, but blew them out of the water.  9 months and 20 lbs, crawls at a amazing rate, and is standing/pulling himself up. 
I can't imagine any situation where not much bm hurt him.  How could he be any better?
The kid is all muscle and rage.  :)