Wow, NCGal...
First, you made me laugh so much, with your thought of candid-camera and then what you would have done, lol!
I, too, am dumbfounded when a worker just does...nothing. I was already amazed that the bank had pulled out a bunch of money, and that no one had called me about it. I mean, assuming there was reason to take the money out, my take was that they were obliged to call me at the time and say what was happening, why, and the plan to sort it out. It was only because I YNAB everything that I noticed it at all, and only my pushing it that made them realize they were taking out even more than they had intended to.
But then I was blown away that when I did notice, and asked about it, they didn't care, didn't respond, didn't anything. Candid camera, indeed!
But yeah... On small kindnesses, this is why I like to function that way. I like to stop, ask a person how they are, hear their true answer, let them debrief and connect so they feel better. Because it's lovely to feel better! There's a lot of stress in the world; I believe that giving each other a few minutes as needed to debrief makes all the difference in how much violence -on any level- we see. Recently, at a grocery store I asked a cashier how she was. She said fine, but as much oomph as she'd tried to muster, she clearly wasn't. So I asked more. She paused, and started telling me exactly what was going on for her. It was awesome. As she spoke and I listened and reflected back and empathized, I saw her visibly calm and de-tense. She seemed grateful. She cheered right up. I think she was glad that someone did care. I do this in most of my interactions. Most people like/appreciate/enjoy it. Some don't. But yep, I am so grateful when people do this for me, and I absolutely feel people have saved my life (long story) several times this way. I just have to find a way to offer this without being devastated when someone functions poorly.