Best gift for 30th birthday

[Mgmny]

Hello friends!

My 30th birthday is coming up in 2 months, and my wife is making this a big deal. I sorta view it as just another day, but she's telling me that 30 is a milestone and should be celebrated, yada yadda.

Anyways, she has told me that i should ask for something really cool, and we will work to make it happen. In staying mustachian, my best idea so far is an electric bicycle, but she literally said the sky is the limit - she jokingly said she would allow me to get a tesla if i really wanted it (obviously i'm not a billionaire, and i value my time more than a tesla, so that's not happening), but these are the magnitude of what she wants me to ask for (ok, maybe not a $50k Tesla, but maybe like $1-3k something).

My first thought was a trip, but not knowing when Covid is going to go away (and we are free to roam the world again) makes this seem like a "maybe someday this will probably happen" type of gift, so i think travel is out.

What other cool thoughts?

Also, while I appreciate the notion that i don't NEED anything, and my $1-3k gift could be  on VTSAX and purchase 1 day a year for the rest of my life in freedom, that's not what we're going for.

Ready.... go! Thank you!!

[socaso]

Don't totally throw away the idea of a trip. I didn't take my "40th birthday trip" until I was very nearly 42 but it gave me more time to plan and save and the trip was really wonderful.

The electric bike is a great idea. Another possibility to pursue is something hobby related. If you don't have a hobby maybe there is something you'd like to take up?

[fell-like-rain]

I think a good idea for splurge gifts is to get the next level up from something you already have/want. Like if you cook a lot, upgrading from a $50 kitchen knife that’s perfectly good to a $150 knife that’s really well crafted. Similar for guitars, bikes, stereos, power tools, grills- whatever it happens to be that you enjoy.

[Mgmny]

I think a good idea for splurge gifts is to get the next level up from something you already have/want. Like if you cook a lot, upgrading from a $50 kitchen knife that’s perfectly good to a $150 knife that’s really well crafted. Similar for guitars, bikes, stereos, power tools, grills- whatever it happens to be that you enjoy.

This is the kind of gift I would like, but I feel guilty.

I do 100% of the cooking, so my wife was going to get me an expensive All Clad cookware set, but the Macy's brand we have now works fine and I don't have any trouble with it. Would spending $1k on new cookware make me happier? That's what I'm struggling with.

[MudPuppy]

For my 30th we did a cabin at my favorite state park so we could hike and swim with our dogs. For my spouse’s 30th we had to cancel a similar trip to the outer banks beaches due to Covid and we made do with indulgent staycation.

[Mgmny]

Don't totally throw away the idea of a trip. I didn't take my "40th birthday trip" until I was very nearly 42 but it gave me more time to plan and save and the trip was really wonderful.

The electric bike is a great idea. Another possibility to pursue is something hobby related. If you don't have a hobby maybe there is something you'd like to take up?

Yeah, you're probably right. It just seems like such a maybe. We had to cancel an international trip in May, so maybe I'm still feeling down about it.

We have like 300k American Airline miles and 450k Marriott rewards to use, so we definitely need to travel again sometime

[Goldy]

I second the kitchen knife idea.

[AMandM]

Speaking as a fellow cook:

Good tools!  Maybe you wouldn't get any benefit from new pots and pans, but unless you already have all high-end equipment, that's what I would go for, because the quality of your tools does make a difference to how efficiently and pleasurably you can work. The $150 I won in a contest is hands down my favorite kitchen item. So I'd suggest really good knives, or a Vitamix, something like that.

The electric bike is a also great idea. Less mustachian but more stylish would be a Vespa.

[Mgmny]

I second the kitchen knife idea.

So the knives I used for from 2013-2019 were a cheap set of "sharper image" knives i found at a TJ Maxx for like $12. They worked ok. Then last year I purchased a replacement set of ceramic knives from Aldi for a similar price - like $15, and they are working pretty well.

I could splurge on better knives, but frankly, I really like just throwing my knives in the dishwasher and not worrying about them. I'm sorta digging the "Spend $15 every 3 years for a new set" vs spend $1000 on a set today.

I don't know that i would be careful enough with the knives.

That said, maybe I've never used really good knives before, so i donj't know what i'm missing out on. There are definitely times when i'm cutting smaller things for my son (like grapes in half, for example), that a sharper knife would make it easier.

I guess convince me that high quality knives are a lot better than $15 knives?

[Mgmny]

Speaking as a fellow cook:

Good tools!  Maybe you wouldn't get any benefit from new pots and pans, but unless you already have all high-end equipment, that's what I would go for, because the quality of your tools does make a difference to how efficiently and pleasurably you can work. The $150 I won in a contest is hands down my favorite kitchen item. So I'd suggest really good knives, or a Vitamix, something like that.

The electric bike is a also great idea. Less mustachian but more stylish would be a Vespa.

Good tools is an *always* on my birthday lists. I have an all-clad wire whisk that is the best thing ever. same with my rubber scrapers, i love them!

That said, Asking for nice measuring cups, new tongs, new wooden utensils, etc. comes to like $100. Not exactly a "once in a lifetime" gift, but i 100000% agree with you on them!!

I am really leaning towards the e-bike - or at least a conversion kit for my old entry-level mountain bike.

I really wanted a vespa/scooter/moped for the longest time, but now that I have children (well 1 today, and 2 in 2 months probably), i feel like the e-bike is probably a more functional choice because i can hook up the bike trailer to it and go everywhere that I could with a Vespa.

Maybe I'll do the Vespa as a FIRE present for myself. Ditch the car and get a moped because we won't need 2 cars for work anymore! :)

[K_in_the_kitchen]

Is your wife already 30?  Is this the beginning of setting high expectations for every birthday or anniversary ending in 0 (or 5)?  Does "we will work to make it happen" mean the money isn't sitting there waiting to be spent, with no other earmarked purpose, and all of your other financial goals have been met?  Are you 100% out of debt?

In the past couple of years DH and I both turned 50.  Being who we are now, we didn't have parties and we didn't do big gifts.  The people we were at 30 definitely would have wanted to do big gifts, but at 30 we had a new baby and couldn't afford to spend money like that.  I can't recall what I gave DH, and he gave me a digital camera, which of course became obsolete a long time ago.  At 50 all we wanted was zero debt and financial independence, so we stayed with that goal, and achieved it when we paid off our mortgage this year.  We're at the place where we can walk away whenever we want.  Actually, I'm already FIREd, but DH enjoys his job (even more now that he can WFH).

From your post, it sounds like your wife will feel good about herself if she can give you something expensive, something that has WOW factor.  It's common in people whose love language is gift giving, or even in people who were raised to equate big occasions with expensive gifts.  I understand that she wants to celebrate your life, and I understand why she wouldn't want you to just add money to a VTSAX, but I think you need to discuss it more.  Come up with a plan for now and for the future.  Decide on an acceptable budget for milestone occasions.  Make sure you both know why you're choosing to celebrate your life by spending money.

Not that I'm against spending money -- I just think it needs to have more meaning than being handed a blank check or buying something expensive for the sake of it being expensive.  If there's something out there that will make your life better for having it (meaning it's something missing and useful, and your life is worse off without it), then set a budget and choose whatever that is.  But understand that whatever you choose might not still be in your possession in a decade or two, so what you are buying is a memory.

[MrThatsDifferent]

Personally I’d hate to dictate my present. My response would be: surprise me!

[Zikoris]

I'm also partial to trips myself - for my 30th we went to Vegas and the Grand Canyon, and we did a pretty epic European trip for my partner's 30th. Are you able to do any sort of more local travel? My area is opening up a bit and people are doing weekend getaways again, which would be pretty fun.

Are there any cool activities available in your area? We did some other pretty wild things for my boyfriend's various birthdays over the years - one of the coolest was going paragliding off a nearby mountain. Another time was ziplining. My area has so many other options as well for adventure stuff if we want to do more of that eventually - whitewater rafting, bungee jumping, helicopter tours, the works.

[Mgmny]

Is your wife already 30?  Is this the beginning of setting high expectations for every birthday or anniversary ending in 0 (or 5)?  Does "we will work to make it happen" mean the money isn't sitting there waiting to be spent, with no other earmarked purpose, and all of your other financial goals have been met?  Are you 100% out of debt?

In the past couple of years DH and I both turned 50.  Being who we are now, we didn't have parties and we didn't do big gifts.  The people we were at 30 definitely would have wanted to do big gifts, but at 30 we had a new baby and couldn't afford to spend money like that.  I can't recall what I gave DH, and he gave me a digital camera, which of course became obsolete a long time ago.  At 50 all we wanted was zero debt and financial independence, so we stayed with that goal, and achieved it when we paid off our mortgage this year.  We're at the place where we can walk away whenever we want.  Actually, I'm already FIREd, but DH enjoys his job (even more now that he can WFH).

From your post, it sounds like your wife will feel good about herself if she can give you something expensive, something that has WOW factor.  It's common in people whose love language is gift giving, or even in people who were raised to equate big occasions with expensive gifts.  I understand that she wants to celebrate your life, and I understand why she wouldn't want you to just add money to a VTSAX, but I think you need to discuss it more.  Come up with a plan for now and for the future.  Decide on an acceptable budget for milestone occasions.  Make sure you both know why you're choosing to celebrate your life by spending money.

Not that I'm against spending money -- I just think it needs to have more meaning than being handed a blank check or buying something expensive for the sake of it being expensive.  If there's something out there that will make your life better for having it (meaning it's something missing and useful, and your life is worse off without it), then set a budget and choose whatever that is.  But understand that whatever you choose might not still be in your possession in a decade or two, so what you are buying is a memory.

She's 26.

We have a mortgage, but also a positive NW of 490k (so close to half a mil club! There's a club for that, right?)

We're due with #2 10 days after my 30th so we'll have a newborn soon also! Exciting times to be delivering a child, ay yi yi!

I think with the "work to make it happen" comment is like, if I really wanted a model 3, and we didn't want to get a loan, we would need to save up $45k for it specifically for that purchase. Im not concerned with the self imposed budget of around $1-3k.

I think she wants to celebrate me, and I don't think that what I ask for even has to cost any amount of money, but she does want it to be special, not just the "brown shoe laces" which are quite literally at the top of my current wish list (#2 is hearing protection ear muffs for those wondering, still not a wow factor...).

I'm all for the gift being an experience or something that leads to an experience (ebike = fun family explorations around town, travel = experienc new area or culture).

Just wanted to clarify that this didn't necessarily have to be expensive, but she wants it to be cool and memorable, and SOMETIMES that means shelling out some shekels

[Mgmny]

Personally I’d hate to dictate my present. My response would be: surprise me!

Ha I've tried that!

[Mgmny]

I'm also partial to trips myself - for my 30th we went to Vegas and the Grand Canyon, and we did a pretty epic European trip for my partner's 30th. Are you able to do any sort of more local travel? My area is opening up a bit and people are doing weekend getaways again, which would be pretty fun.

Are there any cool activities available in your area? We did some other pretty wild things for my boyfriend's various birthdays over the years - one of the coolest was going paragliding off a nearby mountain. Another time was ziplining. My area has so many other options as well for adventure stuff if we want to do more of that eventually - whitewater rafting, bungee jumping, helicopter tours, the works.

There are a lot of hot air balloons around... But that honestly terrifies me. Lol.

I just wish the future of travel was more predictable right now.

[slappy]

Is your wife already 30?  Is this the beginning of setting high expectations for every birthday or anniversary ending in 0 (or 5)?  Does "we will work to make it happen" mean the money isn't sitting there waiting to be spent, with no other earmarked purpose, and all of your other financial goals have been met?  Are you 100% out of debt?

In the past couple of years DH and I both turned 50.  Being who we are now, we didn't have parties and we didn't do big gifts.  The people we were at 30 definitely would have wanted to do big gifts, but at 30 we had a new baby and couldn't afford to spend money like that.  I can't recall what I gave DH, and he gave me a digital camera, which of course became obsolete a long time ago.  At 50 all we wanted was zero debt and financial independence, so we stayed with that goal, and achieved it when we paid off our mortgage this year.  We're at the place where we can walk away whenever we want.  Actually, I'm already FIREd, but DH enjoys his job (even more now that he can WFH).

From your post, it sounds like your wife will feel good about herself if she can give you something expensive, something that has WOW factor.  It's common in people whose love language is gift giving, or even in people who were raised to equate big occasions with expensive gifts.  I understand that she wants to celebrate your life, and I understand why she wouldn't want you to just add money to a VTSAX, but I think you need to discuss it more.  Come up with a plan for now and for the future.  Decide on an acceptable budget for milestone occasions.  Make sure you both know why you're choosing to celebrate your life by spending money.

Not that I'm against spending money -- I just think it needs to have more meaning than being handed a blank check or buying something expensive for the sake of it being expensive.  If there's something out there that will make your life better for having it (meaning it's something missing and useful, and your life is worse off without it), then set a budget and choose whatever that is.  But understand that whatever you choose might not still be in your possession in a decade or two, so what you are buying is a memory.

She's 26.

We have a mortgage, but also a positive NW of 490k (so close to half a mil club! There's a club for that, right?)

We're due with #2 10 days after my 30th so we'll have a newborn soon also! Exciting times to be delivering a child, ay yi yi!

I think with the "work to make it happen" comment is like, if I really wanted a model 3, and we didn't want to get a loan, we would need to save up $45k for it specifically for that purchase. Im not concerned with the self imposed budget of around $1-3k.

I think she wants to celebrate me, and I don't think that what I ask for even has to cost any amount of money, but she does want it to be special, not just the "brown shoe laces" which are quite literally at the top of my current wish list (#2 is hearing protection ear muffs for those wondering, still not a wow factor...).

I'm all for the gift being an experience or something that leads to an experience (ebike = fun family explorations around town, travel = experienc new area or culture).

Just wanted to clarify that this didn't necessarily have to be expensive, but she wants it to be cool and memorable, and SOMETIMES that means shelling out some shekels

Tell her that delivering your child is her gift to you. :)

How about a nice family photo session? Years ago on my birthday, a local photographer was running a special and I told my husband that was all I wanted for my birthday. I desperately wanted beautiful family photos. That is now our tradition every year, to do family photos in the fall. The first year, the date was actually on my birthday, but now we just do it whenever the photography is doing their fall session.

Or she could do a boudoir session if you are into that? (Maybe wait until she is feeling ready for that.)

[limeandpepper]

she literally said the sky is the limit

Lol, any sexual fantasies you've always wanted and never got to do? Here's your chance. :p

[K_in_the_kitchen]

She's 26.

We have a mortgage, but also a positive NW of 490k (so close to half a mil club! There's a club for that, right?)

We're due with #2 10 days after my 30th so we'll have a newborn soon also! Exciting times to be delivering a child, ay yi yi!

I think with the "work to make it happen" comment is like, if I really wanted a model 3, and we didn't want to get a loan, we would need to save up $45k for it specifically for that purchase. Im not concerned with the self imposed budget of around $1-3k.

I think she wants to celebrate me, and I don't think that what I ask for even has to cost any amount of money, but she does want it to be special, not just the "brown shoe laces" which are quite literally at the top of my current wish list (#2 is hearing protection ear muffs for those wondering, still not a wow factor...).

I'm all for the gift being an experience or something that leads to an experience (ebike = fun family explorations around town, travel = experienc new area or culture).

Just wanted to clarify that this didn't necessarily have to be expensive, but she wants it to be cool and memorable, and SOMETIMES that means shelling out some shekels

Okay, so this is likely the first milestone birthday you're celebrating together (unless like us you also celebrated 18th and 21st birthdays together), and it sounds like it's definitely the first one you've probably had so much money to celebrate with.  My concern is that it might establish a pattern and some pretty high expectations for the future, and that can be a difficult treadmill to get off of.  But you're young, your net worth is good, and it's your money.  You don't have concerns, and it's not my job to worry about your financial life, lol.  I'm guessing your goal is more along the lines of fatFIRE, so it's not likely you're planning expensive birthday presents now with the intention to give them up later.

I like the idea of a professional photo shoot after the baby is born (congratulations!), since the photos would be something you would have for the rest of your life. 

The e-bike could be a fun way to a achieve some of your financial goals if you use it to replace driving in many scenarios, and also a fun way to get out of the house with the family, although at first the baby will be too young to ride safely in a bike trailer or in a child bike seat (1YO is the recommendation because of neck strength development).  Not all e-bikes can easily tow a trailer or have a place for a child seat, so I would add that into the research before choosing one.  Also, look for a mid-drive e-bike versus one with a rear hub motor, for more versatility when adding small humans into the mix.

Other hobby related gifts that could also lead to saving money could be good as well.  If you like craft beer -- look into home brewing equipment.  Love a loaf of crusty artisan sourdough -- get the necessary tools to bake it yourself.  Have a habit of buying expensive coffee each morning -- look at a good espresso maker.  Stop by the juice or smoothie shop often -- ask for a good juicer or a Vitamix.  Ride bicycles frequently -- ask for a good work stand and bike specific tool set.  Into woodworking -- add a piece to your workshop setup.