I'll admit it: Career-wise, I'm lost. Sure, I'd love to FIRE, but it's just not feasible under my current circumstances.
All my life, I've had a tough time with the jobs I've held. I was always sure something better was out there. For slightly more than a decade, I worked in pink collar clerical jobs. I then put myself through college to get a BA in English, because writing and books were the only things that ever interested me. Also, I figured it would be easier to get hired for any kind of job with a bachelor's than not.
I had just one job I really loved, as a journalist. Lost it right after 9/11. Then I got what I thought was going to be my dream job: public relations assistant at a college. I was there for 7 years, and by the time they let me go 8 years ago, the job had become a nightmare. I was also going through some personal problems that were affecting my work. I was in therapy at the time, but it didn't save my job.
I'd had it in the back of my head for a couple of decades (yes, you read that correctly) that I wanted to be a librarian. I guess I had some lofty ideas of what a librarian's work was like. After being out of work for 3 years (suffering from depression and an idea that I could NOT work--because I was let go from four jobs in a row), running out of UC benefits as well as savings, I took a job at a local college library. I had applied to an online library school and was accepted, and was happy--for about six months.
Till I found out this place is crazy. It's run by people who don't actually want to do any work--including my immediate supervisor. The employees sit around on the Internet most of the day. I am not joking. There are a couple of people who are overworked, and I've offered to help them, but my boss will not let me (I'm referring to some of the librarians).
I'll cut this short(er). I don't know if I can keep doing this for the next 13-14 years. My DH says when administration changes/the library director retires, someone is going to find out what a charade this place is and people are going to get a wake-up call that won't be funny.
My problem: I can no longer identify my areas of work interest, or career interest. I feel like I was an epic fail when I got my coveted English degree and flubbed the dream job. My self-confidence has plummeted to the point where when I read a job description, even for a clerical job, I say to myself, "You can't do that." When I do see jobs related to PR or marketing or journalism, they're usually low-paying, entry-level, or have requirements I can't meet.
I think I'm suffering from long-term depression. That might be a large part of the problem. And I May go back into therapy (though I am not sure it will help).
However, it occurred to me that perhaps a career counselor might help. I also know from a lot of online reading that there's quite a few charlatans out there billing themselves as "life coaches." I'm also realistic enough to know that you can come up with some sort of a career that you would LOVE, but um...that doesn't mean you're going to get a job in that field.
So what are your thoughts on this? Of course I want to be smart with my money (which is why I'm not even sure regular therapy is something I want to spend money on). I feel like I've been going in circles with this issue forever. I've been in this job five years and it's starting to feel like...I don't know what...
Note: Someone here suggested correspondence courses. I'm not sure where to look for them, what kind to take, etc. Also they'd have to be closed-captioned. We're not allowed to wear headphones or earbuds or have the volume on our computers turned up.