Author Topic: Any mustachians here in long distance relationships?  (Read 1457 times)

EconDiva

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Any mustachians here in long distance relationships?
« on: June 01, 2017, 07:51:04 AM »
Just curious if there are any MMMers here in long distance relationships.  I'll define long distance as in your SO living outside of the same state as yourself.

If so, how long has it been long distance and how much longer do you think it will be that way before you are closer together?  Are you able to keep travel costs seeing each other to a minimum, and if so, how do you do so?  Is it by seeing less of each other?  Meeting half way sometimes?  Employing credit card points for flight deals? 

Bird In Hand

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Re: Any mustachians here in long distance relationships?
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2017, 09:59:50 AM »
Just curious if there are any MMMers here in long distance relationships.  I'll define long distance as in your SO living outside of the same state as yourself.

If so, how long has it been long distance and how much longer do you think it will be that way before you are closer together?  Are you able to keep travel costs seeing each other to a minimum, and if so, how do you do so?  Is it by seeing less of each other?  Meeting half way sometimes?  Employing credit card points for flight deals?

I am not in this situation now, but I have been twice in the past.  Predictably (in retrospect) it did not work out at all for me.  Personally I would sacrifice salary, FI/RE, and many other things in order to not have a LDR.  Maybe others would have better luck in that situation, but a LDR does not seem conducive to a healthy relationship in the long term.  If I were forced into it for some reason, I would make every effort to meet my SO as much as possible.  It would be expensive, but worth it (for me).  I'd probably look into credit-card churning to maximize rewards points to make it more affordable.  I'd consider driving (meeting halfway or otherwise) to spend more time together.  And I'd also just budget a lot of travel time/$$, even if made it impossible to save elsewhere.

If this is your situation, I hope you're able to manage it in a way that works for you and your SO!

Cookie78

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Re: Any mustachians here in long distance relationships?
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2017, 11:04:51 AM »
I am. Different countries coming up on 5 years. Planning on another couple years until we are both FIRE, or sooner if he moves back to his house in Phoenix and I can go spend the winter there again (not keen on spending the winter in NJ, and also his living situation there makes it prohibitively expensive for me to do so).

We are both very independent and have our own goals and dreams, so even after FIRE our living situation will be very flexible, but together more often than currently and hopefully more often than not.

Travel costs used to be higher at the beginning with shorter trips more often. Now we usually do longer trips less often. Credit card points help, but it's not as easy to get good deals in Canada. Due to the distance, driving or meeting half way would end up costing quite a bit more. Sometimes we meet somewhere else completely if the cost is right.

Being able to work remotely or take leave of absences helped too, to spend 4-6 months together at a time (happened twice so far). Ultimately it costs more, but it's important to both of us.

talltexan

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Re: Any mustachians here in long distance relationships?
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2017, 07:25:28 AM »
I was in Junior High in the early nineties when one of my friends' moms announced that she had found a job in the Bay Area (she worked in tech; her son lived South of Austin). She moved out to the Bay Area--buying a house in 1996--while her husband remained in Texas at his tenured faculty position. I imagine the appreciation on that house has more than paid for the travel expenses it took her and her husband to hold that family together.

ketchup

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Re: Any mustachians here in long distance relationships?
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2017, 07:50:21 AM »
I was in a long distance relationship (~2000 miles) for about six months before my GF moved out here and we bought a house.  We had been long-distance friends for about two years before that.

I flew out there once and we drove back together to where I lived, then she drove back (all this was over about three weeks).  I also flew out again for a short surprise visit two months before she moved.

This was all 5-6 years ago, and we are very much still together.

catccc

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Re: Any mustachians here in long distance relationships?
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2017, 07:55:26 AM »
I used to be in a long distance relationship, but we weren't that far away from one another.  It was over state lines and under a 3 hour drive.  We talked on the phone almost every evening, and emailed throughout the day (this was before the ubiquity of texting).  We took turns driving to visit one another on weekends.  We did the long distance thing for 7 years (the 7 years was after 2 years of not-long-distance), and I moved to his area shortly before we got married.  We've been married now for over 8 years.  So it worked out for us.  But a few hour drive is very different from a plane ride away.  I would think with technology (face time, constant texting) LDRs would be easier these days, but I guess it all depends on the dynamics of the relationship.