Hello All, I am new here, but not new to frugality. My situation is this, my father passed away last year after a several year battle with alzheimers. I miss him dearly and have many regrets over the last years of his life, even though I visited him as much as I could, but I lived farther away than my siblings did, so they were probably closer to him. My mother died over 10 years ago. They both treated us equally growing up and even as adults. My dad was a life long farmer and a tightwad and saver and that's where I got it from I suppose.
Here are the issues. My oldest sibling was left the family home. She knew about it for 10 years, saying mom wanted her to have it. Dad put it in his will 5 years ago, never telling the other siblings about it. Dad said over the last few years that my sister was going to build a house on the family land, and I asked her several times if it were true, and she just said "I don't know, maybe". If she knew she was inheriting the house, why not just tell us so? There are just so many things that we disagree on, and both of my sisters are on the same side, which leaves me on the outs with them.
He had 300 acres of land, which is rented and producing an income of around $60,000, minus expenses. I am debating selling my portion, which makes both of them very upset with me. I understand their point of view, but I guess I am just looking at the financial side of it. They both want to keep it to leave to their children.
Then there's the issue of what to do with all the household possessions. I suggested letting each of us pick a couple things we wanted and auctioning the rest, or selling on buy/sell sites. That is what my mom did with her parents house, so I figured we would do things the same way. The sibling that got the house wants to divide everything up, keeping as much as possible. No decision was ever made so after we talked about it, I called an auctioneer, just to get an estimate of what they would charge. Big Mistake!!! I let her know I called the auctioneer, didn't make an appointment, just called. She immediately went to the other sister and talked about how I "just wanted my money and wanted it now!" Which is very untrue. And I told her as much. We had an appointment to meet and get things rolling so I could "get my money". Then it was cancelled. Which is fine with me because I'm not looking forward to their accusations.
We are all financially secure in our lives, as far as I know. We all own our homes and have good paying jobs. Dad left us each over $100,000, which I am so grateful to him for. I never thought it would come to this after he died, and I am sick over it all. I have had many sleepless nights and anxious stress filled days just thinking about everything. I have probably said some things that made me sound greedy and money hungry, but I really don't mean to be that way.
Any thoughts, advice, suggestions, on what you would do or how can I get over these feelings I have? I think I have permanently destroyed my relationship with my sisters.