First, let me say that every word you are about to read is true with one exception: I am not a "business consultant." I've disguised my job description to protect the wild, the innocent & and ... well, you know.
I am a 64 yr old business consultant in a major U.S. city. I am a partner in a mid-sized firm. My wife, who does not work, is 62. Our daughter, 21, is entering her junior year of college.
We live in a wealthy suburb in a northeastern U.S. city.
Our house is worth ~$750,000.
We have ~$4.7 million in financial assets: 401K, Roth 401K, IRA, Roth IRA, HSA, after-tax account. These assets are about 50-50 between pre-tax/after-tax monies. Roth assets about $500,000. The financial assets are approx. 55% stock, 35% bond, 10% cash. They are mostly in index or low cost/low turn over funds, Paul Merriman/Bogleheads-style diversification.
We have no mortgage, but we do have a $180,000, 3.25% fixed HELOC with 8 yrs left to pay. This is "elective" debt.
So, (financial assets + real estate) - HELOC = ~$5.2 million. It's OK to say approximately, since with about $2.3MM in stock investments these assets easily fluctuate by $100,000 one way or the other from month-to-month.
Plan at present is to tap spouse's SS at 66 ($15K/yr., spousal benefit), mine at 70 ($35k/yr).
We just paid our daughters junior year, first semester tuition from her 529 Plan. She has three semesters left to pay, we can pay two of those from her 529. She has no college debt. We will pay the last semester from our general funds.
We spend a lot of money - about $200,000/yr., not including tuition. Almost half of this is spent on housing and health care. Home repairs, maintenance, property taxes, insurance premiums, dental are the biggest items. We are very frugal, and don't spend money on vacations, fancy clothes, luxuries. It just costs a lot to live up here. The cost of a tooth implant and crown (which my wife had this year) is $6,000.
Now, lets leave the boring part and move on.
I am really sick of my job situation. I have been at this firm most of my career, but I've had a lot of conflicts with my partners over various management and practice issues. I don't much like them, and I'm pretty sure they don't much like me. I suspect that they are just wondering why I don't retire. They can't toss me out unless I do something truly awful or illegal, which is not going to happen. However, they have reduced my compensation over the last few years, and we have had disagreement over that.
In addition, I don't like the direction the business is going in terms of industry focus, strategic planning decisions, and a variety of other issues that are unique to consultants and immensely boring to anyone else (and even us).
I have a lot of interests outside work. I actually like the area of business I'm involved with (it's the partners and clients that are a pain), and if I "retired" I would not stop writing and, perhaps, advising clients in this area in a limited capacity, but it would probably be breakeven or a little more - I'm not confident I could build a practice (or a practice I would enjoy) at 65. I have a number of hobbies outside work. I'm not worried about having nothing "do do."
But, I am scared to death of retiring. I keep saying, "just a little more" - a little more money (get to $5MM with 0 debt), another year of work (that's one less year our assets need to support us). Just a little more "security". (Yes, I know there is no security, but yet emotionally .... )
I'm uphappy, but I just can't pull the trigger. I'm like a man standing on the edge of a cliff, afraid to jump into the water. What if there's a huge bear market? What if there's a huge unexpected personal expense? What if we live into our 90's (as 3/4 parents did)? What if? ....
What about health insurance? I know I could use 18 months of Cobra, but that would leave a 9 month gap during which we'd have to use ACA insurance before my wife is eligible for Medicare. How would that work out?
After making and saving money for almost 50 years (I opened my first IRA, at my father's urging, when I was 16 yrs. old), the thought of spending down a lifetime of savings is ..... just. too. damn. hard. !
I am stuck, and I know it. Just reading back over this shows how crazy and neurotic I am about this situation. Any thoughts, encouragement, discouragement, sympathetic anecdotes, criticism, whatever, would be appreciated. I hope Mr. MM doesn't highlight this post in one of his blog posts and beat me up - believe me, I'm doing a good enough job myself.
Staggerlee