Author Topic: Anonymity & Mustachianism  (Read 23343 times)

kudy

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Anonymity & Mustachianism
« on: November 27, 2012, 09:39:02 PM »
I am trying to pinpoint why I feel like my profile on this forum, and my frugal self in general, need to remain somewhat anonymous.  I know I am not the only one here who feels the same way... there are a few notable exceptions (MMM himself has recently been much more public/closer to his real identity than in the past), but it seems that most of us use a screen name, and talk in non-identifying generalities.

Is a simple, frugal lifestyle that evangelizes savings embarrassing? Not really... but for some reason I keep a lot of my philosophies and frugal thoughts to myself.

Is it because people get defensive if they don't like a similar lifestyle? This might be getting closer to the truth...

Is it because we discuss intimate details of our financial lives, and finances are often a taboo subject? This also seem to contribute to my general feeling towards remaining anonymous.

This causes an inner struggle... a part of me wouldn't mind if my real identity were attached to my frugal self online, and I think it might actually be cool. So, what are some reasons this online niche stays anonymous?

okits

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2012, 10:19:50 PM »
I like to stay reasonably anonymous online, in general.  Kind of a personal-and-professional-don't-mix philosophy (employers Googling you).

On MMM, it's because money is such a sensitive topic, and because I complain about work.  I'd rather my employer not know I want to leave until I'm actually ready to leave.  (A little paranoid but I'd rather be too careful.)

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2012, 01:35:54 AM »
it's the intimate financial details for me. plus a general desire to be relatively anonymous because everything stays on the internet forever. on a site like mmm i think the better compromise is open with real life decisions/some details, closed on real name/identifying details than vice versa.

liquidbanana

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2012, 02:42:16 AM »
Well, it seems kinda common on here to make fun of what many people think is normal behavior (buying stupid shit and wasting money) and say that most people need to be punched in the face. I don't particularly want people googling me to find out that I'm an asshole.

Also, outside of FB (where I censor myself as much as possible), I try to stay anonymous because getting and keeping employment is a valuable thing to me. :)

I also use way more explicit type words on here than I do in real life or FB. I think these words in my head all day, but I don't like offending people. And I'm gonna be a school teacher so that is a nono.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2012, 02:45:49 AM by liquidbanana »

Jamesqf

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2012, 11:05:44 AM »
Nothing to do with frugality in general, or this forum in particular.  I just prefer anonymity.  I would never, EVER, participate in anything on-line that required me to use a "real" name, or anything that could easily link back to the physical world.  I won't use Facebook, for instance, for just that reason - plus just a basic inability to comprehend why anyone would want to put their personal life on display.


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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2012, 11:33:56 AM »
People that know me could probably figure it out pretty quickly looking over my post history.  I'm also pretty open about my goals to people in real life.  The primary reason that I try to remain somewhat anonymous is because I'm still working on FI, and appreciate the ability to get a high paying job, and having employers invest in me.  Once I achieve FI then I'd no problem being completely open about my identity, since just like in real life anyone that would judge me for it is probably not someone I'd want to deal with anyway.

ruthiegirl

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2012, 12:02:46 PM »
I have a money-stealing bastard of a brother-in-law who has been persecuted for identity theft not once, but twice.  He knows we are frugal, but thinks it is because we are broke.  He can keep thinking we are broke, no need to tell him the truth. 

But seriously, identity theft is a huge issue.  I have seen the ugly side of it and it wrecks a victim's life for a time until everything is straightened out.  Knowing my brother-in-law has been a painful life lesson for me.  There are a lot of people out there who are just like him and worse.  I keep things anonymous online simply to protect myself. 

Paul der Krake

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2012, 12:05:58 PM »
I would love to be anonymous, but can't get wikipedia to take down their page about me...

I for one was very surprised to see MMM post his phone number in the Hawaii thread. Pretty ballsy considering he has quite a following and therefore more likely to attract crazies.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2012, 12:32:16 PM »
I like to stay reasonably anonymous online, in general.  Kind of a personal-and-professional-don't-mix philosophy (employers Googling you).

On MMM, it's because money is such a sensitive topic, and because I complain about work.  I'd rather my employer not know I want to leave until I'm actually ready to leave.  (A little paranoid but I'd rather be too careful.)

+1

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2012, 12:49:25 PM »
I would love to be anonymous, but can't get wikipedia to take down their page about me...
Clever.

I'm not that anonymous, a trait I probably share with much of my generation. I've disclosed little enough that I'm not actively outing anything sensitive, but my employment history, school, and program of study are all here. Now that I've got a job at a financial planning firm, I may be a bit less forthright, I guess...

bo_knows

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2012, 12:59:21 PM »

I'm not that anonymous, a trait I probably share with much of my generation. I've disclosed little enough that I'm not actively outing anything sensitive, but my employment history, school, and program of study are all here. Now that I've got a job at a financial planning firm, I may be a bit less forthright, I guess...

I'm not that anonymous either. Pretty sure someone could piece together who I was. I just don't really care.

gooki

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2012, 01:17:25 PM »
I'm fairly sure if someone wanted to, they could track down my identity from my posts on this forum. I'm happy with that.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2012, 04:32:08 PM »
I used to use my real name on the internet, but then I thought... why? I know the creator of 4chan gave a good TED Talk about internet anonymity.

James

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2012, 05:48:58 PM »
I don't worry about it much, I figure anything I post on the internet can and may eventually be linked to me, so the best option is to post with the understanding it will be linked to your real identity at some point.  I have personal experience in this regard, a very painful lesson I won't get into here.  I wouldn't be hard to track down, but I don't use my last name either.  Seems like a decent middle ground.

chucklesmcgee

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2012, 05:57:34 PM »
Talking about Mustachianism can indicate a judgment call and can implicitly show that your values differ substantially from those around you or that you disapprove of other's lifestyles.

It's a bit like saying you're an atheist in front of a bunch of devoutly religious people- no matter how good your argument is and reasonable you are, you'll be seen as antagonist. Even if they're very tolerant, chances are you'll never be as included as others. Plus, honestly, most people really aren't all that interested in ways to reduce their hot water usage, even if it is to the tune of $800 a year. Almost anything you suggest that involves people changing what they do or giving something up will meet with hostility. Never make any advice unless the person really seems to be wanting some.

Really I only talk about it frankly to really close people or if people explain they're have a question about investments or something. If I bring it up to others I try to present it as a sort of observational third party conversaitonal thing so it doesn't seem like I'm necessarily endorsing these values. "Yeah, I read this story about a guy who was able to live on $7500 a year for 5 years, save the rest and then retire. Crazy right! It really makes you think that all of the things we take to be necessities really aren't."

If people ask why I don't have something, I usually just pretend to be poor and complain about the costs. That way they still feel good for buying whatever they have because they think I'm slightly jealous. "Man, yeah, I'd totally get cable, but you know, it's like $80 a month to get anything good and I'm just so busy I'd barely be able to follow anything?" I still know a decent bit about fancy electronics and cars so I can be impressed when other people have them..

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2012, 06:03:28 PM »
I understand stuff can be linked to me.  I don't worry too much.

I think people are more paranoid than necessary, and since money is a "taboo" topic, even more so here.

That's fine, go with what you're comfortable with.
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BPA

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2012, 06:07:45 PM »
My estranged sister who has all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder figured out who I was on another forum and trolled me.

She got called out by other members and eventually stopped, but now while I give out some information about myself, I never forget that something like that could happen again.

Also, she wanted to get a "big financial settlement" out of me for libel and slander, so I like to pretend I have less money than I do.

Not that I was libelous.  Sometimes you can't deal with crazy.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2012, 06:11:45 PM by BPA »

kkbmustang

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2012, 07:11:08 PM »
I don't really care one way or the other, but I do gripe sometimes about stuff on here that, while I would tell someone to their face (I'm honest like that), I'd rather avoid the awkward. Now that I work for myself, I follow my own damn social media policy. Pretty sure people who know me could figure out who I am if they wanted to and I'm a pretty open book anyway, so I'm not too worried about it.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2012, 11:16:41 PM »
Yeah, it's not that I worry about some person actually getting motivated enough to track me down, it's just that I like to minimize the annoyance factor.  I could go to extremes and get really private, but that would just be a different annoyance.

Adventine

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #19 on: November 29, 2012, 01:45:51 AM »
I don't really mind if people find out my real name and other personal details about me. It's never been a big deal. In fact, I think it would great if I ever ran into another Mustachian in real life and we recognized each other from our profile pics!

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #20 on: November 29, 2012, 12:59:30 PM »
I'm anonymous on the forum solely because I don't want to deal with possible problems, but I would be happy to meet up with most people on here in person. Just helps avoid strange things from possibly cropping up.

I am totally open in real life, I have told a few of my cubemates (which are also my friends) my financial plans and how I save 65%+ of my income. I sometimes talk to them about how much we make compared to most people and that I don't want to hear any complaints about not having enough money. I don't hammer people about it, but will bring up my plans/actions if it is relevant. They are my friends, so I want them to be as successful as well, and small hints about how well I do are better than nothing. Mostly I just get the incredulous laugh or a "Good luck to you" sort of statments from people that don't know me as well. I see no reason to be quiet about something that means a lot to me (not just mustachianism, but also other people's rights and how we should worry about the whole world and not just YOU).

Part of my brand of mustachainism is not being ashamed for who I am or what I stand for. I am slowly getting better at it (I was always a shy person) and feel better for it. Any mind I change is good karma for the world.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #21 on: November 29, 2012, 06:09:08 PM »
I don't worry about it too much. If someone really wanted to find me I don't have the skills to stop them and, if anything, I think most people in my family/circle of friends assume I make more than I do anyway.

I wish more people were open about their financial situations, otherwise you just assume that everyone is making more than you and better off than you (at least I did when I'd see people with all their "great" stuff).

Nords

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #22 on: November 29, 2012, 08:49:24 PM »
This causes an inner struggle... a part of me wouldn't mind if my real identity were attached to my frugal self online, and I think it might actually be cool. So, what are some reasons this online niche stays anonymous?
I think the most common fears are being pestered by beggars (family or strangers), by charities, and by axe murderers.  In general, those fears are not reality.

When I first ER'd and started posting, I worked very hard at preserving my anonymity.  I eventually realized that 99.99% of the other posters didn't care who I was.  The other .01% were either too lazy to do anything about it, or too poor, or bluffing.  So far so good.  I think there are far more serious dangers out there (and more likely ones) than ID thieves and stalkers. 

However the benefits of "going public" have been immense.  I've met hundreds of people who I never would have ever seen anywhere other than in the media.  I've made dozens of friends.  I've gained huge doses of ego gratification.  I've found a way to pay forward all the debts of gratitude that I've accumulated over the years, and I've left a written legacy that my daughter can refer to as often as she wants.  (And my relatives, and their offspring.) 

During this time, only one person-- one!-- has ever wanted to know the exact details of my net worth.  It turns out that he has more worth than me (a lot more) and was wondering why he seemed to be so far out there on the bell curve.  Today we're good friends, and we feel comfortable enough with each other's company to talk about the details.  It's helped him a lot, because he was worried that he still wouldn't have enough money.

You would think that I'd still be pestered by beggars & charities.  However we live a fairly low-key beach-bum lifestyle, and frankly most of the people who see me coming are afraid that I'm going to pester them for money.  (Saturday's Hawaii meetup should be pretty interesting!)  Many of my relatives think I'm using "early retirement" as a chronic excuse for "surfer dude who can't hold down a job" and they probably feel sorry for me.

I for one was very surprised to see MMM post his phone number in the Hawaii thread. Pretty ballsy considering he has quite a following and therefore more likely to attract crazies.
The benefits far outweigh the "dangers".  At least with modern call-blocking tech, he'll only get pestered once.

I'd post my phone number too, but we hardly ever answer the thing anyway.

okits

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #23 on: November 29, 2012, 08:57:39 PM »
I don't worry about it too much. If someone really wanted to find me I don't have the skills to stop them and, if anything, I think most people in my family/circle of friends assume I make more than I do anyway.

I wish more people were open about their financial situations, otherwise you just assume that everyone is making more than you and better off than you (at least I did when I'd see people with all their "great" stuff).

I have struggled with that for a long time. "Oh, everyone else makes so much more than me", and feeling like it was a reflection on our value as human beings (mostly a poor reflection on me and my income level), what we earn.

I recently learned that while other people in my life were making more than me, it wasn't always by the astronomical amount I had assumed (nor did those earning less than me really earn that much less.) A bit comforting, maybe, but by that point I had found Mustachianism and was trying to remind myself that more stuff or even more money wasn't going to make me happy (even with a goal of semi-FI.)  Freeing myself from my dependence/desire for a lot of unnecessary stuff was more productive than playing the comparison game.

I hope I can get to the point where it doesn't matter what other people make in comparison because it's irrelevant and I don't wish to know because I don't care.  I'd like to focus on what i can achieve in my situation, and according to my own goals.  I'm not so completely enlightened yet, but I'm aiming for it and when I have those moments of clarity it feels good.

Matte

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #24 on: November 29, 2012, 08:58:37 PM »
I like to keep relative anonymity.  Kind of like a safe place to discuss things I would not outside that way. 

okits

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #25 on: November 29, 2012, 09:00:25 PM »
  However we live a fairly low-key beach-bum lifestyle, and frankly most of the people who see me coming are afraid that I'm going to pester them for money.  (Saturday's Hawaii meetup should be pretty interesting!)  Many of my relatives think I'm using "early retirement" as a chronic excuse for "surfer dude who can't hold down a job" and they probably feel sorry for me.

This. I aspire to this. Jives perfectly with my modest, middle-class sensibilities, and my general penchant for non-flashiness.  Kind of an "anonymity in real life" for Mustachians/FI-aspirants.  Also, nice to have people trying to sniff out wealth leave you alone.  I hate being pestered.

Oh, and this flabby office worker would love to be a "surfer dude who can't hold down a job."  Different strokes for different folks but I can't fathom how some of your relatives can't see that it's just a bitchin' way to live your life.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2012, 09:12:37 PM by okits »

skandrae

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #26 on: November 29, 2012, 10:51:42 PM »
I live in a super-small town where everybody seems to know my business before I do (and if they don't know it, they're happy to make something up ^_^), so I tend to keep my mustachian leanings to myself.

Online, I'm pretty sure I've dropped my town's name a couple of times, and it's a super-small town, so if someone wanted to find me they probably could. And actually I just mentioned where my house was in another post, so I could totally be found. (I keep my wood-splitting axe in my bedroom, just in case any criminals are so wound up by the post that they want to come find me ^_^). It's nice to be able to come here and talk about finances without having to put on my everyday public face.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #27 on: November 29, 2012, 11:55:53 PM »
Yep I agree with nearly all of the above.

I'm actually a little bit embarrassed about being able to save as much as I do on my wage. I'd be a bit worried about the comments from workmates and friends if they found out I had a net worth of 295k at 26 (so close to 300!).

There's a chapter in that Dale Carnegie book "How to win friends and influence people" that is relevant to this. Most of it involves not mentioning anything about yourself. The theory is if you convince someone that they are better than you (even if false) then it's a win win for both of you and they are more likely to do what you want them to. As opposed to you bragging about how on track for FI you are and them hating you for it.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #28 on: November 30, 2012, 07:23:15 AM »
I am more comfortable with some degree of anonymity online.  I would be really happy to meet like-minded people in real life and no problem with disclosure this way. 

What I am mindful of is that I'm not like the vast majority of people I know.  I have learned that most people just don't think like me.   I'm too introverted (ie. I don't want attention) to want to engage in public disclosure of this fact.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #29 on: November 30, 2012, 12:56:04 PM »
Definitely for the financial information, and maybe a bit for life goals. 

These days, potential employers (at least the diligent ones) will definitely try to view your Facebook page and Google you and any known pseudonyms.  If I make it clear I only intend to be there two years before I retire early, or even if they know I have the financial position to up and leave whenever I want, that hurts me.

If you are dating, you don't necessarily want someone to know your bank balance.



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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #30 on: November 30, 2012, 01:27:32 PM »
Online I don't really mind if people know who I am. It's pretty easy to figure out from pictures, avatars, etc.

IRL (for lack of a better term), I don't speak about our financial plans or happenings much, though. As ChucklesMcgee said, talking about being frugal or smart with money is often meant with a sort of quiet contempt from friends/family. It's almost as if by being excited about how you're handling your finances or saving money is directly calling them "stupid" for not doing the same. Or it makes them feel self conscious.

Also, I have some family members who might suddenly look at me as their new personal bank. Would rather avoid that. lol

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #31 on: December 01, 2012, 01:59:26 PM »
You would think that I'd still be pestered by beggars & charities.  However we live a fairly low-key beach-bum lifestyle, and frankly most of the people who see me coming are afraid that I'm going to pester them for money.  (Saturday's Hawaii meetup should be pretty interesting!)  Many of my relatives think I'm using "early retirement" as a chronic excuse for "surfer dude who can't hold down a job" and they probably feel sorry for me.


This made me chuckle.  I aspire to this.

On one hand, some of my acquaintances think we are on the poor side, because they try to help me out by suggesting things like "The YMCA provides discounts based on your income" and "there is a tax break this year on X and Y".

On the other hand, we are both engineers, so some people think we are rolling in it.  Compared to most Americans, sure.  That won't stop me from shopping at the the thrift store.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #32 on: June 07, 2013, 03:27:50 PM »
Talking about Mustachianism can indicate a judgment call and can implicitly show that your values differ substantially from those around you or that you disapprove of other's lifestyles.

It's a bit like saying you're an atheist in front of a bunch of devoutly religious people- no matter how good your argument is and reasonable you are, you'll be seen as antagonist. Even if they're very tolerant, chances are you'll never be as included as others. Plus, honestly, most people really aren't all that interested in ways to reduce their hot water usage, even if it is to the tune of $800 a year. Almost anything you suggest that involves people changing what they do or giving something up will meet with hostility. Never make any advice unless the person really seems to be wanting some.

Really I only talk about it frankly to really close people or if people explain they're have a question about investments or something. If I bring it up to others I try to present it as a sort of observational third party conversaitonal thing so it doesn't seem like I'm necessarily endorsing these values. "Yeah, I read this story about a guy who was able to live on $7500 a year for 5 years, save the rest and then retire. Crazy right! It really makes you think that all of the things we take to be necessities really aren't."

If people ask why I don't have something, I usually just pretend to be poor and complain about the costs. That way they still feel good for buying whatever they have because they think I'm slightly jealous. "Man, yeah, I'd totally get cable, but you know, it's like $80 a month to get anything good and I'm just so busy I'd barely be able to follow anything?" I still know a decent bit about fancy electronics and cars so I can be impressed when other people have them..

+1 - Could not have said it better if I tried!

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #33 on: November 30, 2013, 10:05:01 AM »
I am trying to pinpoint why I feel like my profile on this forum, and my frugal self in general, need to remain somewhat anonymous....

Is a simple, frugal lifestyle that evangelizes savings embarrassing? Not really... but for some reason I keep a lot of my philosophies and frugal thoughts to myself.

Is it because people get defensive if they don't like a similar lifestyle? This might be getting closer to the truth...

Is it because we discuss intimate details of our financial lives, and finances are often a taboo subject? This also seem to contribute to my general feeling towards remaining anonymous.

Some the above, plus this.

E. Snowden -American traitor or hero depending on whom you ask- had a couple of anonymous user names on ArsTechnica forums. His posts were revealed to the world. http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2013/06/nsa-leaker-ed-snowdens-life-on-ars-technica/

You could say it's some kind of poetic justice that the guy who revealed State secrets should have his personal forum notes from his teen years revealed, but I'm not sure about that.

We know that others read what we write on a forum, so I'm guessing the expectation of privacy is pretty low. Still, the idea that our leavings could be picked over in public with our real names if that makes for a good headline is bothersome.

It's not a matter of hiding for shame as it is a matter of privacy. In much the same way you might be proud of your healthy body, but you still do not invite a cheering section into the room during your prostate exam.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #34 on: November 30, 2013, 11:38:58 AM »
For me it's just a general prudence of not leaving my real name on the internet more than really needed. You never know who might read it and make undesired conclusions. I'm not super private though and have met some people I've got to know first on the internet (not this forum).

Of course I also realise someone really computer savvy and motivated or already close to me in real life could track me down without great difficulty. Not losing my sleep over that.

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #35 on: November 30, 2013, 11:50:27 AM »

I'm not that anonymous, a trait I probably share with much of my generation. I've disclosed little enough that I'm not actively outing anything sensitive, but my employment history, school, and program of study are all here. Now that I've got a job at a financial planning firm, I may be a bit less forthright, I guess...
I'm not that anonymous either. Pretty sure someone could piece together who I was. I just don't really care.
Ditto - someone could figure out my identity in about 2 minutes if they put together a few comments here and there with other easy to access internet info.

Snow White

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #36 on: November 30, 2013, 04:47:24 PM »
I am generally private and don't post on FB or any other social media site. I find them boring to read and I am just not interested. I do read and post on several personal interest and hobby related forums though and they all have the little Snow White avatar.  I suspect anyone technically savvy could find my name in thirty minutes or less but it doesn't really worry me. I don't post anything that I wouldn't read out loud to friends or family and it isn't like I am posting my bank account numbers!  It might give me pause if I thought my boss was reading this but she knows I can retire anytime so I don't think she has delusions that I will work much longer.

I tell anyone who is remotely interested about this site and I haven't really considered whether they'd I.D. me in my postings but I am ok with it I guess.  Good topic and food for thought.

lhamo

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #37 on: November 30, 2013, 06:09:19 PM »
Anybody who knows me reasonably well can identify me from the biographical details I am pretty open about -- there basically aren't any other people in the world who share the same personal/career trajectory as me and my DH, so we are pretty easy to spot.  But while I am still working, I feel more comfortable using a pseudonym and not my real name.  Actually it IS my name, just not my English name.  There is a whole section of my social/professional circle that know me as lhamo -- but most of them don't read/write in English and wouldn't be likely to be on a site like this. 

Anyway, in my case I'd rather be able to post relatively freely about certain issues in my life -- especially work- and salary-related issues -- and not worry that an employer or a prospective employer is going to get in a tizzy about it.  As we close in on FIRE that is less and less of a concern, but still something to be aware of.  And since I am comfortable with my online identity as lhamo, I'll probably stick with it even after FIRE.  Though I probably will also be less guarded about linking my real name/identity to that avatar. 

Self-employed-swami

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #38 on: November 30, 2013, 07:18:57 PM »
My estranged sister who has all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder figured out who I was on another forum and trolled me.

She got called out by other members and eventually stopped, but now while I give out some information about myself, I never forget that something like that could happen again.

Also, she wanted to get a "big financial settlement" out of me for libel and slander, so I like to pretend I have less money than I do.

Not that I was libelous.  Sometimes you can't deal with crazy.

I can vouch for BPA. Her sister is CRAZY!

I got myself into some poopoo at my old job, because I mentioned somrthing about a co-worker on another forum (nothing identifiable, except to her apparently) and so I am a little more careful now.

The knitter

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #39 on: December 01, 2013, 08:39:45 AM »
I wanted to post my full financial picture to get feedback on where to cut. And I thought if my real name was associated with it, I'd somehow be less honest.

I do tell tons of people about this site and often wonder if they could figure out who I was based on the forum details I shared. However, I keep myself sane by recognizing that anyone who goes through all the forum discussions is probably on board with the lifestyle (or the attempt at the lifestyle) and won't be judgmental of my finances if they found me out.



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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2013, 08:59:21 AM »
I don't really care one way or the other, but I do gripe sometimes about stuff on here that, while I would tell someone to their face (I'm honest like that), I'd rather avoid the awkward. [ . . . ] Pretty sure people who know me could figure out who I am if they wanted to and I'm a pretty open book anyway, so I'm not too worried about it.

Pretty much exactly it for me.  I don't see that advertising my real life identity would add anything, but I don't say anything here that I couldn't afford to have traced to me.

Nudelkopf

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2013, 02:30:06 PM »
I'm more concerned about the fact that I use almost the same password for everything than being identified on this site. I don't mind if this gets traced back to me (although maybe in 10 years I'll cringe at the stuff I've said?).

ender

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2013, 03:07:18 PM »
I use the same nick nearly everywhere which means I'm less inclined to post personal info online.

But... I am Facebook friends with two other posters here I know from different contexts ;)

pachnik

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #43 on: December 01, 2013, 03:51:36 PM »
Other than spouse, parents and a close friend, I have only told 1 other person about this website.  I've thought about telling a few other people I know but I haven't because I value my anonymity.   My $ numbers are on here and I just don't really think it is too many other IRL people's business.  But at the end of day, I wouldn't put anything on here that I really wouldn't want anyone to know.   

Also, I am an older member here and this is the first time I have ever joined an internet community.   I could be overly cautious because of my lack of experience.   I am not on FB, LinkedIn or any other forum.  It took me 6 weeks to sign up for the forum from the time I found this website and I talked about it beforehand with my spouse is much more internet savvy than I am. 

Of course, if I met a fellow mustachian in real life and we somehow recognized each other, I would be thrilled. 
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 08:06:51 PM by pachnik »

oldtoyota

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #44 on: December 01, 2013, 06:36:56 PM »
If you think you are truly anonymous, you are incorrect. The owner of this website can easily get info on your IP address and track you back to your town if not to your computer. They may choose not to collect that info or to keep it but they *could*.

If you use Gmail, Yahoo email, Yahoo/Google for searching, Google calendar for your appts, then you have given away a lot of info already. Facebook--of course! I don't use FB in a personal way though. Anyone who think you have to be personal on FB has not used FB that much.

I presume my info will be linked to me eventually--because it is thanks to the NSA--and act accordingly.

richschmidt

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #45 on: December 02, 2013, 02:31:35 AM »
I obviously don't care about being anonymous, given my username. :)

I haven't participated on these forums much, but I don't mind talking about our financial choices and situation, whether "in real life" or online.

Besides things like Facebook & Twitter, I'm only really active on one online forum, and it requires the use of real names, so I'm used to it.

Khan

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #46 on: December 02, 2013, 04:30:14 AM »
As others have alluded to, the powers that be(NSA, Google and other tech giants, Visa and other credit card companies) can all data mine so extensively that they can figure out who you are from your posts(personal information, lexical style, pseudonyms, IP's used) as to make anonymity on the internet or in anything in this digital world a lost cause. I mean, there was a report that I can no longer locate(thought it was on Slashdot) that just by liking MSNBC on Facebook, well, that's a pretty good data point to relate to your political affiliations, thoughts on gay marriage, abortion, the environment, and a whole host of other issues. The more rambling your posts, the more that your own mind can be laid bare, and the sooner it goes from being several hundred thousand candidates to one candidate for the author of those posts. If you wish to enjoy any of the conveniences of this digital world, you will not put up enough barriers to prevent information about yourself to be able to be mined by them(Amazon, credit cards, and buying habits, smartphones and location data, website history) to know enough about you even if they don't know -you-.

That doesn't mean I want to make it easy for anyone else. Financial information is an especially important one, as I don't want to make myself look like a better target then any other random person out of the phonebook, when I'm at least much better off than the median household(US).

Every now and then I play with the idea of completely deleting all internet accounts I currently hold, and making new ones. They(the powers) would still be able to build back up their databases, but the name i use on this forum is one of my new-er preferred ones, but usually not available. I simultaneously dream of deleting everything, and of having everything connected to my own personal Locke or Demosthenes name(Ender's series reference) online, that is mine and mine alone.

Anyways, to get back to the subject at hand, I want to be known on the internet, if I am known at all, as a pseudonym with little attachment to my actual body, but I don't want people outside of the internet to know that I am X. If I am ever to have an internet persona that is to be explicitly connected to the real world, you can be damned sure it will be completely scrubbed of anything but what I want to be known.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2013, 04:32:25 AM by Khanjar »

Mr. Minsc

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #47 on: December 02, 2013, 06:13:51 AM »
This comparison just popped in my head and I think it works quite well.

Anonymity on the internet is like the locks on your house.  It keeps the honest thieves out.  If somebody wanted to break in to my house they'd find a way.  If somebody wanted to track down my identity they'd find a way.

Pooperman

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #48 on: December 11, 2014, 04:48:57 PM »
Could you find my name? Probably. Could you find where I live? Unlikely since I've moved 3 times in the last year. Do I care? Nope. I might do a NJ meetup sometime.

TerriM

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Re: Anonymity & Mustachianism
« Reply #49 on: December 11, 2014, 05:04:38 PM »
I should've chosen a more anonymous name.  Since we're sending out details about where we live, I could be pinpointed.

If I end up sending a case study, I'll create a different account.  I think it would be highly inappropriate to post how much my husband makes if it could be found by his coworkers should one be lurking on here.  Chances may be small, but I wouldn't want to risk it.