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Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: Guizmo on September 26, 2014, 10:45:40 PM

Title: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: Guizmo on September 26, 2014, 10:45:40 PM
I'm a little buzzed, so I'm obviously not in the right state of mind, but am I in the wrong here????

I went out with my brother and sister-in-law to grab a few drinks. As I was about to order my drink he asked if I had the first round and I said yes if he had the next round. He said yes. So we all order and had 3 rounds total. As I go out to close my tab I realize that it is way higher than I thought. It turns out all the drinks were on my CC tab. I pay and leave tip. Then I ask him why he put everything on my card and he says he intended to pay for it and that it just seemed easier to put it on my card as it would be one less card to think about.

Am I in the wrong to get upset?? Should he have asked me if it was okay to charge the whole evening to my account and then pay me back later before he did it? Am I crazy for yelling at him over this?
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: MDM on September 26, 2014, 10:48:25 PM
Did he pay you back?
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: Guizmo on September 26, 2014, 10:51:44 PM
No he says he will pay me back tomorrow. Although I'd probably be upset that he would use my tab/cc without even asking if that is okay. I mean is it really harder to use your own cc or debit card?
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: sheepstache on September 26, 2014, 10:52:44 PM
Think of it positively.
Other, less prudent people than yourself, would have been in danger of maxing out their credit limit or not being able to pay the bill due to this excess, but you don't have to worry about that.
You got way more credit card rewards than you would have otherwise, so you actually made money. Assuming he pays you back.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: Mrs. J on September 26, 2014, 10:54:54 PM
Is this a habit with him, or is this the first time he's done it? I don't think he should have put everything on your card and assumed that would be okay without talking to you first, but if it were me, as long as they paid me back I'd probably just let it go with a "No big, but next time just check with me first."
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: justajane on September 27, 2014, 06:51:59 AM
Bring cash next time to pay for your round.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: swissgva on September 27, 2014, 06:53:08 AM
I wouldn't really worry. As long as your brother eventually pays you back and is not 'using' you, the it's really not a biggie. Just communicate to him that next time you'd appreciate if he didn't just charge one card
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: nessness on September 27, 2014, 08:10:59 AM
He should have asked you ahead of time, but assuming he pays you back it doesn't seem worth fighting over.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: frugaliknowit on September 27, 2014, 08:32:24 AM
While I am a major "CC rewards whore", I think it is a bad idea to pay for drinks, especially open a tab with one at a bar.  Pay cash for drinks, or better yet, drink at home.  When you're "buzzed", your judgement is less than optimal. 
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: sol on September 27, 2014, 08:40:27 AM
I generally try to avoid yelling at people who owe me money.  I find it doesn't encourage prompt restitution.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: Guizmo on September 27, 2014, 08:58:39 AM
Thanks y'all, lesson learned.

I think I overreacted, but I also think my brother was in the wrong. I especially think it is bullshit that he couldn't go up to the bar and put down his card as that would have been harder/more confusing. But whatever, I'm not going to get upset. He pays me back I accept and from now own I pay my own shit, he pays his own shit.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: Terrestrial on September 27, 2014, 09:17:03 AM
I think if you and your brother have an otherwise good relationship and he is good about paying you back and this is a one-time or infrequent occurrence, if it was me I would let it go.  Life is too short to fight with your loved ones about things that don't matter. 

I would look at the positive:  you will get all the CC reward points on your card but he will ultimately have paid half the bill.  If people want to pay in cash i will charge everything and then get the cash from them.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: 2ndTimer on September 27, 2014, 09:18:58 AM
Sharing a lesson I learned the HARD way:  Never discuss anything that upsets you when you are buzzed.  I always wound up saying more than I meant to say and none of it was good.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: trailrated on September 27, 2014, 09:44:34 AM
I think it is all about expectations, my brother and I do that all the time. But we are used to it and pay each other back promptly. If that was not "expected" by you, he should have given you the heads up. 

At the end of the day you need to ask yourself what you want. If it is to not have that happen again, either talk to him about it, or bring cash. Yelling at him and causing a rift in your relationship with your brother sounds a little counter productive. Either way, cheers!
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: fartface on September 27, 2014, 12:49:23 PM
Douche move on your brother's part. If the tab was $100... is he only going to give you $50 vs the $66 he owes you for HIS and HER drinks on the tab?
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: dragoncar on October 01, 2014, 04:49:17 PM
Either way, open tabs are a recipe for disaster.  And it's harder to monitor your tab when knocking back a few.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: Eric on October 01, 2014, 04:53:11 PM
Sharing a lesson I learned the HARD way:  Never discuss anything that upsets you when you are buzzed.  I always wound up saying more than I meant to say and none of it was good.

Seriously.  Buzzed is not good enough.  Wait until you're both really, really drunk.  That way, while you might remember a fight, neither of you will be able to remember what it was about and be too hungover to care.  It's a win win!
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: genselecus on October 01, 2014, 04:59:55 PM
From my experience, it is always a bad idea to leave a tab open. Best case scenario is you spend the same amount of money on drinks as you would without the tab. Worst case scenario is your brother (or friend, or all of your friends, etc.) help you create a large tab and then you forget to close it before you leave because you become forgetful once you get pretty deep, which means you have to come back to the bar the next day after you realize you've lost your credit card.

Unfortunately this has happened to me on more than one occasion, so I now don't open a tab unless I'm at a company event and I'm getting reimbursed.
Title: Re: Am I in the wrong here?
Post by: SummerLovin on October 01, 2014, 05:14:02 PM
He's your brother and he probably knows you're earning rewards points, so let it go. It was inconsiderate of him not to ask first, and not pay you back immediately. Lesson learned pay for the round as you go. You could have been an ass, and asked the server to break it out, as you were only paying for the first round, then provided him with his bill.