This is hella long but there's a tldr at the bottom, if that helps. I just want to make sure to give enough info for you to get a good sense of the situation. Thanks in advance!
My 87-year-old widowed grandmother got into what we thought was a minor fender bender last week, when she (and she's very forthright about this) hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal whilst in a parking lot going about 10 miles an hour. As she drives a 16-year-old Mercury Tracer, I suspected the insurance wouldn't want the hassle of fixing it. I was right; they declared it totaled. They're going to give her $3k, took away her old car and gave her a ten-day rental (a Versa, if that matters).
This is the first incident she's had, but since there is now money involved, I thought it was worth considering her driving future. How much longer do we think she can drive? Her sister is 91 and still tools around (different state), but I have no idea if she's a good driver or not.
For those of you with experience in elder car, do you have any advice? Here are the options as I see them:
1. Take the $3k and buy her a reliable, older "beater" car. She says she can go up to $5k safely.
Pros: she still has her independence. If in a few years, she gives up driving, perhaps we could sell it?
Cons: not sure how much longer she'll be driving; in the meantime, she's paying gas, oil changes, maintenance stuff and $2k/year in insurance (she swears the insurance company said her rates won't go up after the accident but we'll see how long that song and dance lasts). I worry not only for her safety but also the safety of others. Would have trouble selling the car if the reason she gives up driving is due to another wreck.
2. Assuming she'll only drive for say, 3 more years and we'd have to look into another kind of transportation anyway, maybe jump on that option sooner. She'll save roughly $3k/year between insurance and maintenance, so maybe use that money (plus the $3k from the insurance company as a buffer/reserve) to find her a reliable car service.
Pros: she doesn't have to drive or maintain a car (she's not all that fond of driving to begin with). Most of her life is contained within a 5-mile radius of her home, so mileage-wise it wouldn't be so bad.
Cons: Most companies that I've come across run about $18-$20/hr. If we assume she has $3k/year, that's about $60/week, or about 3 hours. One long doctor appointment and the time is eaten up.
Things to consider:
*My grandmother is pretty healthy. She has some knee problems, so can't say, walk to the bus stop (she lives in suburbia anyway, so it's pretty far), but overall she's a healthy lady.
*She's also pretty darn social social. I asked her for a list of where shoes goes, how frequently, and how long she's gone, and it's quite lengthy. Even if she lines up say, a doctor's appointment with a Bible study day with grocery shopping, I think it would be more than 3 hours/week.
*She's on a fixed income (pensions, social security, etc), but I'm not intimately acquainted with her budget. She's had some big ticket-item expenses come up in the past 3 years or so: replaced the roof, somewhat major repairs to the car, got electrical replaced in the attic due to some faulty wiring my grandfather did like 40 years ago, cataract surgery, etc. Each of these ranged from several hundred to several thousand dollars, but she pulled from reserves and seems to be doing ok. I've offered to help out several times and she says it isn't necessary. Oh, and she's not eating cat food or anything to make up for these expenses, in case you're worried. She eats fairly healthy and I assume is just a good Mustachian. Hehe, picturing her with an actual mustache.
*I live about 2.5 hours away, so there isn't much I can do to physically help. I come down every other month to visit, and would be willing to come down every month if it would help, but that would really only cover grocery shopping; her other social activities are scheduled during the week. I'm the one doing the used car shopping and/or car service research, and if we go with the latter, I'd help out as much as I could (maybe with scheduling? maybe paying the bills out of her account I have access to so she doesn't have to worry about it?).
*She has family in the area, but they...aren't particularly helpful. Her two daughters (one of whom is my estranged mother) are fairly selfish and/or flaky and have been known to say they're coming by to help with things and then just not show up. My brother has always been sort of wrapped up in his own life, and now that he and his stay-at-home wife have a one-year-old, they're even more so. I miiiight be able to get them to commit to a grocery trip once or twice a month, but that's it.
*She's already getting rides from friends for certain things: the fam will pick her up if they're doing any sort of celebration, she has friends that take her to her twice-monthly night meeting at the local Masonic lodge (she won't drive in the dark), and she has other friends who take her to church on Sunday mornings (I think 'cause it's too far). So those parts are taken care of, but there's still her twice-monthly Bible study, frequent doctor's appointments (foot doctor, dermatologist, hearing doctor, general practitioner, the list goes on and on!), bank, post office, grocery store, all that good stuff and she doesn't feel comfortable relying on various people for *everything.*
*A friend suggested that someone sit in with her while she's driving, to get a sense of what kind of driver she is. I loved that idea, so have asked my brother to do so.
*I've asked my grandmother to ask around and see if there's someone in her neighborhood or church who might be available a few times a week (paid, of course). I think even if we could find someone for say, $12 or $15, it would help stretch a buck. If I were a stay-at-home mom with kids in school, this would be a great way to make a bit of extra dough, right?
*Has anyone used care.com? I looked into it, but I don't know if their premium, paid service (I guess where you can look at reference letters and such?) is worthwhile or if it's just a glorified Craigslist. Since she lives alone, I want to make sure she's safe.
*Speaking of safe, my boss sort of jokingly suggested Uber. It sounds great in theory, since then it would just be straight transportation without paying someone to wait around on an hourly basis, but I'm just nervous about it, even if we could train her how to use the app (well, and get her a smart phone). To be fair, I've never used the service...
*I think I've gotten her to agree to try out a car service once she gives up the rental car. At the very least, it'll buy me a little more time to find her a used car, if that's the way we decide to go. The plan would be to find one here, get it checked out by our mechanics (she goes to like a Pep Boys down there) and drive it down to her.
Tldr; Grandma may be getting too old to drive. Should we roll the dice and buy her a car (an older Focus, Fit or the like)? Or is it better for everyone to suck it up and pay for an alternate form of transportation?