OP, it is almost like you may benefit from crash course into the culture you have married into
1. on gifts and expectations - in that (our) culture, gifts are gifts and it is pretty strong insult to return a gift (very direct f%ck you) or re-gift it to someone else without some sort of explicit communication on why and how and acknowledgement from the original gifter ( it is much easier to 'lose' items). We say that подарки - не отдарки (gifts can not be returned, at the same time can not be ungifted). What your MIL is doing by trying to manipulate you is trying to have it both ways and it does not work within the culture, if it was gift she needs to shut up (big no no bringing gifts up trying to create obligations), if it was not a gift then she is in different kind of trouble (what kind of parents lend money to their kids if they simply give it away? another cultural no-no -trying to take advantage of your own kids, very bad parenting, and would put her in hot water with her friends around her, a lot of condescending looks). Either way, the "gift" talk should stop and stop fast, and yes your DW should finish her degree for herself (not for her mom)
2. on communication - you have two strategies
- you can ignore them в одно ухо влетает из другого вылетает in into one ear and our of another as one of the posters said above. they can say whatever they wish, you will do whatever (both of you) want and there is really nothing they can do about it. do not go with their flow , do not go against their flow, go there you want to go. and no , you do not have to pick up the phone just because it rings or even have ringer enabled. if I want to talk to you, I will call you approach.
- you can set the boundaries (fight) as you can not change them, you do not want (and should not have to ) change yourself , the result is that views of the world would clash, tears would be shed , shields will be broken (aka lord of the rings if you get the idea). and if you decide to set boundaries and know arguing with them if inevitable, wouldn't you want to pick what you will fight about, when , where, have alias, escape roots (i.e. other places to go, not in your house).
I see boundary settings and both necessary and inevitable as that have nothing to do with 'gifts' , 'education', etc. Please tell me what you do not live with them physically (as that would make it even worse) , otherwise you are your own household that should live as such household.
getting your wife to be able to grow up and stand up for herself is critical. how long has she been in Israel, is she native born or olim hadash?
otherwise, you seem to be on a good track, and as long as you are in sync with your DW (supporting and encouraging her as needed) that is what matters.