Author Topic: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life  (Read 16300 times)

GizmoTX

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #50 on: August 11, 2015, 12:02:36 PM »
My family is very white collar focused and has expected everyone to get a college degree and go work in an office.  This forum has helped me see so many other possibilities for income, but my family doesn't really get that.  So I think I'm much more open to different career paths than my family is.   

When all you've used is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. In our generation & earlier, college > white collar was the ticket to prosperity. These days, a skilled trades person can be as if not more. I'll bet the family either isn't aware of this or is afraid that the alternatives doom Nephew to poverty. Or there may be some perceived status issues.

How are nephew's reading, writing, & math skills? These need to be good even if college is not an option. This is the time to bolster them if necessary. Some free or low cost online courses would be a good place to start. Or if he needs interaction, community colleges offer skills courses in addition to being an academic bridge to universities. On a part time basis, he could do some courses over time to see how he likes what they do.

Coaching tends to require either superstar experience or a teaching degree environment for paid positions, & the rest are staffed by volunteers. 

If he's interested in photography, he should take some courses & photograph like mad to build experience & a portfolio. He doesn't need lots of expensive equipment to start. He should also talk to those already in the business to learn pros & cons of such a career.

His skill set suggests sales, as in problem solving, not clerking. However, any form of field sales also requires some expertise.



Blonde Lawyer

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #51 on: August 11, 2015, 12:47:55 PM »
I worked in juvenile corrections before I went to law school.  Many of my colleagues didn't go to college and were athletes.  One even started a facility basketball team so that the residents school got to play other high schools.  Yeah, they had no "away" games but it was really cool for them to play against regular kids. Law enforcement and corrections isn't the same every where so you have to do your research.  I was working in what was rated as a top juvenile facility though it still had its issues.  There was tons of programming though.  I had a lot of fun in that job and at times got to be a kid again.  Supervising art class meant I got to make some of my own art for example.  I'd sing with their choir and worship with their church.  But, I was still always on duty and there was an ugly side like breaking up fights, suicide watches, treatment programs, etc.  I started working there at 22.  My oldest resident was 20.

Tick-Tock

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #52 on: August 11, 2015, 01:01:20 PM »
Would it be helpful for him to visit a career counselor and take some personality and aptitude tests?  When I was looking to change careers, I found it very interesting to pinpoint my strengths and weaknesses, why I liked certain things and didn't like others.  I also got a list of occupations that might be a good fit. I really wished I had done that testing when I was early college age.

In a more mustachian vein, maybe some of these types of tests and guides are available online or at the library?
« Last Edit: August 11, 2015, 01:17:28 PM by Tick-Tock »

G-dog

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #53 on: August 11, 2015, 01:14:35 PM »
Seems like people oriented jobs - sales, social work, psychology, nursing, medicine, retail, barber/stylist, etc.  there are certificate programs, such as for X-Ray tech - not college, not community college, but specific training.

asiljoy

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #54 on: August 11, 2015, 02:38:52 PM »
Does your city county have a job coaching/career center of some kind a la http://www.eac-mn.org/?

Otherwise, even if college isn't an option, the community colleges in my area have job/career fairs that include employers looking for employees with very specific certificates: http://www.normandale.edu/degrees-and-certificates , where something like http://www.normandale.edu/degrees-and-certificates/exercise-specialist may be a good fit?

Instead of focusing on pushing him towards a specific career, showing him how to do research or find people that'd he can discuss their backgrounds/his questions with may be helpful? Even encouraging him to ask people he admires out to coffee and hear their stories might inspire him to go in a specific direction. Maybe he hears something he likes and investigates further, or realizes it isn't for him before he's really invested alot of time / money.

G-dog

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #55 on: August 11, 2015, 02:56:16 PM »
If he likes to exercise - a trainer doesn't necessarily have a degree.similar to coaching, but more individual (unless you teach classes), and different goals.

Sounds like he would be a good teacher, as well as several other careers that typically require a degree. Maybe once he finds a good area, college may look more attractive. He is only 19! still lots of time.

asiljoy

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #56 on: August 11, 2015, 02:59:15 PM »
Sounds like he would be a good teacher, as well as several other careers that typically require a degree. Maybe once he finds a good area, college may look more attractive. He is only 19! still lots of time.

This. If he's anything like my husband, college had zero attraction for him until he saw how it directly connected him to a career he actually wanted.

Zamboni

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #57 on: August 11, 2015, 03:28:06 PM »
Lobbyist might be a great long term career for him . . . you are in DC, after all. Being a lobbyist is basically being in sales and marketing. So you think he'd be good in sales, which is probably true from what you right. Lots of money to be made in sales if you are really good at it.

Quote
Coaching tends to require either superstar experience or a teaching degree environment for paid positions, & the rest are staffed by volunteers. 

This is not strictly true. There are tons of paid coaching positions around here in both soccer and volleyball clubs. There is A LOT of money being spent on the children of the wealthy in the area where you live. Heck, I have an uncle who makes a modest living teaching little kids to play chess! Also, I have a family member who makes decent money on basketball refereeing as a side gig that he also uses to stay in shape. He did not graduate college and most of the other refs didn't go to college. He has friends who have taken it to a career-level and ref for the PAC-10 conference, for example. So, if he really likes soccer, he should explore coaching or refereeing for a couple of the big youth clubs in your area. It never hurts to earn cash on a side hustle you love, and you might approach the idea this way with him. The number one challenge of coaching youth sports is coping with the parents. Since he is good at listening, he might do well with this. Refereeing has a different set of skills which start with knowing the rules really well and also interpersonal skills dealing with other refs, players, and coaches. Again, might be a good fit at least for a side hustle, and some people turn it into a pretty lucrative career.

Cameraman also could work, but you might be surprised how little that normally pays. One of my friends does on ice cam for an NHL team. The pay? $75 a game. He has to be there 1.5 hours before the game starts until about an hour afterward because of post game locker interviews, and it if goes into triple overtime in the playoffs, he doesn't get overtime. He also gets to be the guy under the basket with the camera at the college bball games in the same arena, and he does some college football. Same pay rate. Mostly he does it because it gets him a good free seat at the game. But it is a lot of work; the shoulder cameras are heavy. He says the guys who travel with the networks make more money, but that involves travel that he doesn't want to do. Unfortunately cameraman is not always viewed as a high skill position. As he describes it, you have to be good at pointing it where you are supposed to point it (if you don't know, someone will remind you impolitely on your headset) and focusing it.

Good luck with it all. You seem like a great Aunt!
« Last Edit: August 11, 2015, 08:14:51 PM by Zamboni »

okits

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #58 on: August 11, 2015, 07:47:47 PM »
If his nose is always stuck in his phone, how are his social media skills?  Could he manage a company's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram?  Attend events and live-tweet them?  Or even just teach basic app and social media skills to people who aren't adept (my parents pay for general computer/smartphone help.)

Way to keep an open mind. Your family needs to read Millionaire Next Door. Those plumbers are making BANK!

bwall

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #59 on: August 11, 2015, 11:04:25 PM »
In the beginning when you were describing him with ADD or ADHD my first thought was 'salesman'! I'm in sales and I see the best salesmen (who later started their own company) to be undiagnosed ADD/ADHD. They have so much energy and when it all gets channeled into work they are unstoppable beasts who would rather sell than eat, drink or sleep. We'd get off a 15 hour overseas plane flight, exhausted and I'd be looking for the hotel to sleep and they'd be looking for an internet connection to make sales. "HOW THE HELL DO I COMPETE WITH THAT!?!?!?!??!?" I'd scream inwardly. And, sure enough, they'd be making more sales......

Now, I think that you have questioned the ADD/ADHD diagnosis and he might not be. But, sales is a great way for a young person (or any person) to make an absolute shit-load of money while learning personal skills, hard work, reward for effort, etc.

BlueHouse

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #60 on: August 12, 2015, 10:33:40 AM »
Thank you!  so many good ideas.  I'm starting a list to share with nephew.  I think just being able to know there are options out there is a great first step.  I'm not sure if he's already been to an occupational therapist.  we'll look for online tests and resources first. 
I'm also looking forward to the point where he tries as much as I'm trying for him.  --he'll get there.

MonkeyJenga

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #61 on: August 12, 2015, 12:22:42 PM »
A few options:

Sales, like everyone else said.

Social skills coach

Event promoter

Podcaster – he could have a soccer podcast and record everything on his phone to start. Go out and start interviewing players, coaches, refs, parents, etc. Podcasts aren’t the easiest to monetize, but there are options for targeted sponsorship once he builds an audience, and his connections will make it easier to get into coaching if he wants to do that.

Soccer coach/ref – being a ref is probably easier to get into on the side, or he could coach little kids one on one, which I would imagine has a lower bar to entry than coaching a team.

Rosy

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #62 on: August 12, 2015, 12:56:00 PM »
Make him give you $150/month in rent.  Tell him that's the catch-all for food, hydro, etc.

In a little while, motivate him to get investing by saying you'll kick in $1 for every $2 he invests (balanced portfolio).  That way he can "earn back" his rent money and his NW grows faster (motivating).  Keep the match part in a separate account until you're sure he's committed to growing wealth and not going to blow it on some luxury item (tempting as they are, that's not the point of this lesson.)

BTW, him being nice and eliciting feelings of "I want to help this guy" is also a life skill/advantage.  That will serve him well!

+1 ^^^ Really love that investment idea - he might take to that like a duck to water.

You are lucky - what a great kid ummm, sorry, young man!

... and I'm wondering about the cellphone charges - even if his parents pay those, have him check into if he is on a family plan and his part is say $25 or $50.
... and when was the last time he had thorough testing - diagnose - updates? Perhaps instead of being a handicap it has become an asset?

jzb11

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #63 on: August 12, 2015, 01:17:11 PM »
What about:

Psychology or Physical therapy? I think these could be great fits for his love for people.

Also if he's motivated and organized, a career in project management could work as well. Although it helps to have a good technical foundation in IT or engineering before becoming a PM.

Coast guard and or merchant marine if he likes physical labor or wants to take on some trades/manual skills that could set him up later in life. I know a guy who started working for the merchant marine as a technician and loves it. He is on a boat for half the year though.

Anyway it seems like the guy just needed some breathing space and the opportunity to become self aware/independent and realize that he is capable of doing things for himself. Sometimes our parents smother us, either knowingly or unkowingly and prevent us from reaching the potential we're capable of. My mother was a narcissist whose goal in life was to prevent me from ever becoming self sufficient. Thankfully I've miraculously thrived in spite of it.

BlueHouse

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #64 on: August 17, 2015, 02:32:42 PM »
The honeymoon is over!  I almost lost it this weekend because I felt like I hit a brick wall with suggestions.  He's either not interested, or it's too hard, or he doesn't have the grades for it, or he doesn't have any money, etc.  At one point, I could really see his defenses go up, and I thought I was upsetting him because it seemed to make him like he couldn't do anything.

I finally just stopped talking.  It is possible that he has been so beaten down in life, believing that he's a loser and super-stupid so that he just doesn't want to try anything at all.  For that reason, my sister has convinced me that we need to spend a few weeks just building up his confidence and getting him to try things without realizing it, and then letting him feel a "win".  Funny, but my sister and I have completely reversed roles in the past two weeks. 

It's also possible that I'm being manipulated and he just likes living the good life and doing very little. 

Here are my plans for getting a win out of him: 
1.  Having him create a meal plan, pick recipes, shop, and cook for both of us (yes, this was my plan last weekend, but I got super busy tending to my own business).
2.   Helping me to hang shelves in garage.  I've wanted to do this for a while, and it would be much easier with two pairs of hands.

Anything else I can get him involved in to get a few wins?  I'm going for the really easy ones first. 






Lski'stash

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #65 on: August 17, 2015, 03:11:02 PM »
I just thought about the movie Grand Torino where Clint Eastwood's character makes the kid do all those chores around the neighborhood. Could be good!

Try not to get to disappointed in the set-back. Behavior change is slow. He just needs something that will make him realize he needs to take some initiative in his own life. Many people spend far too long trying to figure this out.

I would have a school or job requirement for living with you. Or at least looking for one- say five job applications a week or something?

BlueHouse

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #66 on: August 17, 2015, 07:11:17 PM »
He has an internship through his other aunt. He is content making $10/hour for the next month or two. There is no plan beyond that.

okits

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #67 on: August 17, 2015, 07:40:20 PM »
Take it slow?  He's been through a big change, it might be too much too fast.

What you can do is slowly ask him to do things out of necessity.  "I have to work late, can you make dinner Thursday?  There's stuff to make X already in the fridge/pantry." If he protests he doesn't know how, suggest Google and YouTube!

Lski'stash

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #68 on: August 17, 2015, 08:21:10 PM »
Is there opportunity to move up where his internship is at? What skills would he need for it? Honestly, if he's showing up to work in time and being a good employee, I think that's more than a great start. Also, he might be scared of change or of failure, and you are doing what you can already to change that. Genuine, positive reinforcement will also go a long way.

BlueHouse

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Re: Advice needed: my opportunity to change a young life
« Reply #69 on: August 18, 2015, 05:50:06 AM »
Is there opportunity to move up where his internship is at? What skills would he need for it? Honestly, if he's showing up to work in time and being a good employee, I think that's more than a great start. Also, he might be scared of change or of failure, and you are doing what you can already to change that. Genuine, positive reinforcement will also go a long way.
No opportunity on that front. He's very enthusiastic about it, but indications from my sister (who is an extremely good boss and a very successful professional) say that he's not suited for an office job. Not sure on details.