Congrats from a fellow big family!
1. Start tracking your expenses if you don't already. Until you know where your money is going, you can't know how effective you're being.
2. If you are making $200k and not saving much more than your 401k match, you're spending too much. Decide whether you are willing to change your behavior (i.e., develop new habits) to reduce your spending. It will take effort, but it doesn't have to mean deprivation; the new lower-spending habits should bring as much joy as the old expensive ones, if not more.
3. Notwithstanding #1, there are things you can do immediately that are almost certain to save you money. Make food and drinks at home instead of eating out or buying it premade. Drive less (combine trips, eliminate trips, bicycle or walk). Stay away from shopping as entertainment. Speaking of entertainment, use what you have (books, videos, music, games) or what you can get for free (borrow from library, free local shows/concerts) instead of buying or renting new ones. Wear the clothes you have. Turn off lights. Reduce your thermostat.
4. For more ideas on saving money, read the MMM blog and the blogs others listed here and the forum. There are threads about grocey bills, there's al large-family thread in the Mini-MMM section, there's a ton of DIY advice, etc. For personalized advice on where you can save more, post a case study.
5. Congrats again! You are still young and you have a high income, so you should have no trouble reaching FIRE if that's what you want.
