My wife doesn't seem to agree with the financial independence through frugality philosophy. She seems to have been getting more upset as time goes on when I don't want to buy a cold drink at the gas station, or eat out, or wait for ice trays to freeze instead of buying a bag of ice.
I sent her a link to the simple math article to try and help her understand where I'm coming from. It didn't work :(. She has been FURIOUS with me ever since (about a day now).
There's so much more detail and history here I would be glad to share if anyone is interested, but I'm wondering if anyone recognizes what I'm describing so far and has any potential advice for the situation.
Thanks in advance!
Don't lose the forest looking for the trees.
I think some people take frugality to an extreme that is disconcerting to people around them. In this case, maybe your wife?
Perhaps she feels like everything has a price with you. Each drink at the gas station, dessert when you're out at dinner, etc, is no longer an "experience" together, rather $xx in your mind.
I honestly think there is a root cause in how she perceives these types of actions, rather than the act of saving money itself. Even if it is just the "cheapness" that she doesn't like, maybe she will at least agree with your goals even if she thinks your means are a bit extreme.
Personally, the drink at the gas station, occasional nice evening out with spouse/friends, and other "minor" items are really just the icing on the cake when it comes to living frugally and saving/investing.
When it comes down to it, most people's future can be fixed by focusing on the biggest categories:
- maximize income (within reason, of course)
- by an "appropriate" house
- optimize taxes
- buy appropriate car(s) and maintain them well
Housing/Taxes/Transportation combined are likely the bulk of your spending.
Is your savings rate north of 50% of aftertax income? Then don't sweat the small stuff.
Are you barely scraping 20%? If so, you're better than most people in America, but not on the path to early retirement / financial independence.
I think the key is to be on common ground when it comes to your overall goals, and then save/invest within reason. Personally, I think 30-40% is very reasonable to allow you to invest heavily in your future, while also not annoying people who have to live with you.
Good luck!