Obviously I'm with the majority here: $500 for a wallet is insane. Even if it's your "forever wallet", which we all know it isn't, it's a crazy amount of money. You could have a new $5-10 wallet every year for the rest of your life for that much.
However, we all know too that it's not really about the wallet: It's about spending habits. You say you've been dating this girl a while and you have an established relationship. Here's where the tricky part comes in:
If this is just "some girl you're dating in college", laugh a little at her expensive taste and move on. If she's just "some girl", it's not your business. Set a good example, keep your money separate.
But if you foresee that this relationship may move on towards marriage, you need to decide whether this is something you can accept or not. If you think this relationship may be "it", you should find a way to have some serious conversations about finances. Topics that might matter:
- When /how much house do you see yourself buying?
- How often do you see yourself traveling?
- What type of splurges do you anticipate after you're both working?
- How much do you anticipate spending on holidays?
- How much do you anticipate spending on your children /their education?
- How will you teach your children about money? what will you pay for your teenagers?
- How will you prepare for emergencies? illnesses? joy losses?
- Do you anticipate taking in your parents eventually when they're elderly?
- What about saving for short term expenses, retirement, etc.?
I remember my husband discussing these things and more on a long car trip -- it was around the time that we were both figuring out that we were heading towards marriage. We talked and talked and talked about money, and it was a good thing. It launched many other conversations later too. We learned so much about each other's financial thoughts, and I think it is one of the reasons we've been successful together.
As for whether people can change, of course they can! How many people on this board describe themselves as reformed spenders? However, MOST PEOPLE won't change. Most people will continue in their old habits -- unless they experience a crisis, or unless someone or some event pushes them in a different direction. Examples:
- When my husband and I were dating, he was kind of spendy in little ways: Eating out, buying a toy of some sort. He didn't see the point in worrying over small transactions -- a couple dollars here, a couple dollars there. I was much better at finding good values at the grocery store, on clothes, etc.
- On the other hand, he had a much clearer vision of long-term investing than I did. He was the one who was dead-set on buying a house NOW, on maxing out our 401Ks early, on setting aside money even though we were still struggling.
The upshot was that both of us learned from the other, and we both changed. In actuality, we each were already frugal, but we learned one another's good habits.