Author Topic: 25, Want to be like you guys, but not sure what else to do  (Read 16580 times)

Jamesqf

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Re: 25, Want to be like you guys, but not sure what else to do
« Reply #50 on: July 19, 2012, 06:07:25 PM »
I'm not a tax expert, but I think you can go back a couple of years and file amended tax returns.  You'd have to do the numbers for your own situation, but it might give you enough of a refund to be worth the effort.

arebelspy

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Re: 25, Want to be like you guys, but not sure what else to do
« Reply #51 on: July 19, 2012, 07:31:26 PM »
I'm super impressed with how you're handling things head-on.

Agreed!
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SpendyMcSpend

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Re: 25, Want to be like you guys, but not sure what else to do
« Reply #52 on: July 19, 2012, 07:52:49 PM »
Don't you need to have a dependent to file head of household?  Your mom may have already claimed her daughter as her own dependent. 

Anyway, I might also suggest seeing a counselor for all this family stuff.  It sounds like there are some boundaries issues with the extended family as well as your own immediate family.  Like others have said, it's your choice to support your mom and sister long-term but it's not the only option.

englyn

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Re: 25, Want to be like you guys, but not sure what else to do
« Reply #53 on: July 19, 2012, 11:42:02 PM »
Anyway, I might also suggest seeing a counselor for all this family stuff. 

May I respectfully disagree with this advice. Counselling seems to be frequently suggested in forums, it must be more common in the US than here. To an Aussie it sounds like paying someone else to fix something that's a normal part of human life. Of course it can be helpful for serious problems like a marriage on the point of breakdown or an eating disorder, but we're not talking about that here. We're talking about someone learning to take control of his own life while being respectful of others, something we are all continually learning.

I am trying not to sound like I am picking on you, Meadow, because I don't mean to. I'm picking on the idea of counselling for every relationship disagreement, same as we of this forum pick on the idea that everyone must have two SUVs in the garage, or *insert other cultural imperative here*.

/hijack. Sorry Aushin.

arebelspy

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Re: 25, Want to be like you guys, but not sure what else to do
« Reply #54 on: July 20, 2012, 08:54:19 AM »
Americans often seem to bury problems rather than dealing with them, so
counseling is often a way to make them confront/face them.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with two kids.
If you want to know more about me, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

SpendyMcSpend

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Re: 25, Want to be like you guys, but not sure what else to do
« Reply #55 on: July 20, 2012, 07:11:22 PM »
Anyway, I might also suggest seeing a counselor for all this family stuff. 

May I respectfully disagree with this advice. Counselling seems to be frequently suggested in forums, it must be more common in the US than here. To an Aussie it sounds like paying someone else to fix something that's a normal part of human life. Of course it can be helpful for serious problems like a marriage on the point of breakdown or an eating disorder, but we're not talking about that here. We're talking about someone learning to take control of his own life while being respectful of others, something we are all continually learning.

I am trying not to sound like I am picking on you, Meadow, because I don't mean to. I'm picking on the idea of counselling for every relationship disagreement, same as we of this forum pick on the idea that everyone must have two SUVs in the garage, or *insert other cultural imperative here*.

/hijack. Sorry Aushin.

Gonna have to disagree here.  It is a serious issue to take care of your whole family when you are only 25 and haven't even started your own life yet.  There are substance abuse issues in the extended family which leads me to believe there are boundary issues going on here.  Figuring out what you are and are not responsible for in your life can be done in counseling.  It's pretty clear that he is being taken advantage of especially if he's paying the mortgage for a house for which he'll never get the title.  Even something like Al-anon would probably be helpful.