Money has been a huge and horrible problem in our home since the day we married - and before. We've been married 17 years and it's been a constant struggle to even discuss it - let alone resolve anything about it. My husband has incurred debt - for which he says he had no choice - home repairs, periods of unemployment to cover household expenses, etc.) He has no manual skills of significance and he hires out anything that needs doing in the house. I am not a typical "spender", but in the past, have spent on things like work books, etc....that I wouldn't do now. I don't buy clothes, jewelry, furniture, etc. I am more than willing to grow a garden, shop at Salvation Army, or tackle a household repair task (even if I do do it pretty badly usually...! :-) I have an old car but its paid for. (As long as the wheels are round and it gets me where I need to go - I'm not impressed by cars...and never have been.)
My husband complains incessantly about our lack of money. I have always been at least 50% self-supporting with my own work (also in technology). I should also point out we have a significant age difference (I'm 63 and he's 46.) He wants to save enough money to stop working and start day-trading. (He's done this in the past and seems to enjoy it for a while, at least. He works in technology right now and makes $96,000 a year. We have a $280,000 mortgage on our way too big home. And I have no idea how much credit-card debt he has racked up...probably in the $20,000 - $25,000 range. He shops at Whole Foods and loves dinners/activities out with his friends (He treated his parents and ourselves to concert tickets the other night for her birthday - at a cost of $280.00 for the lot of us. He also took a trip to Europe this summer while I was working in Mexico.)
He considers himself much more financially savvy than myself. Problem is, I don't think he really is.
I want to launch whole-heartedly into Mustachianism. I don't really care about being wealthy - but he does. I think the challenge of trying to live on as little as possible could be actually a huge amount of fun! Really! He finally read the initial blog post here - and didn't make any comment about it. Except that it seems "extreme". (This comment was made two hours after I talked him out of buying another $200.00 portable piano. We have a baby grand and another portable already!)
I have a small house with a few acres of land around it in northern New York. It is solar-powered, with my own well, and I love it there. Currently, the mortgage is $56,000 and the monthly payment is $469.00. He is grudgingly willing to go there "for a year" to save money - but says he will "go crazy" if he has to stay there longer.
I think he wants fairy-dust to anoint him and make him rich. The word "savings", comes out of his mouth, but that's also where it ends. When it comes to sacrificing any real pleasures to get to that goal - he is not so prepared to do that. The problem is that, *I'm* the reason he says he can't save money! And I am tired of being the scape-goat. This makes life decidedly unpleasant, as you might guess.
Is there anything I can say to him? Any way to reach him? I haven't always been money-conscious...but I am willing to learn and try and make up for lost time. But, I am also more zen about the fact that, you can be happy anywhere and with anything - it's a question of attitude, in my book.
WWYD?
(What would you do?)