Author Topic: [EU / Germany] 29 y/o, failed study with depression, recovering - Path to take?  (Read 1043 times)

Burghardt

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 26
I had a post in the welcome thread which seems to be temporarily absent. My situation and how i got there:
picked cybernetics master (diploma at the time) at university. Lectures felt slow and far removed from practical application, eventually stopped going but felt social pressure to stick to it, to "appear successful". Spent a few weeks each semester teaching myself and moved through a series of mediocre exam results.
Didn't work, didn't apply knowledge until i eventually took an internship, as required by the curriculum. (which, in spite of all else, was a great success).
Following the internship, found myself working part time for a related institute at the university, sciency robotics stuff. Saw the dark side of the cookie, vaporware, shady standards, became convinced nobody actually cared if i worked or just spent the day bullshitting and making stuff up.
Didn't see sense or future, got depressed and spent the next 3.5 years at home, making excuses and never writing a thesis to finish my degree.

Fast forward to start of this year. Ended long term relationship, cut myself free from sticky social webs. Slowly becoming a human being again. Cut down on drinking, relegated video games to a fixed time, started reading non-fiction. Picked up an easy dead end job to pay mounting health insurance related to end of my student status, added regular exercise and started monitoring my diet (down 6kg in 9 weeks so far. 3 more towards target 22.5 BMI).
Ran into MMM blog while browsing an economics-related topic on another forum. Wolfed down content, picked up the dream.


TL;DR: started studying, wasted time, didn't finish.

Things taken away:
- (surprisingly) still like technology and math
- various uncertified knowledge, plus skills in C, C++ and python.
- better at working for other people than for myself
- can and like work, have trouble NOT taking work home when i'm intrigued by a problem
- like fixing and optimizing, making integration of new software/hardware work
- want to work towards goals / results. Projects and deadlines would be great.
- don't like fixed pay detached from productivity. Option to score a bonus for working?

programming and robotics (science ruled out leaves industry to go to) are the things that stuck from previous study. Both options look like they have a stable future ahead. Can carry over knowledge and skill, have option to shorten a bachelors in automation/robotics by 1-1.5 years by taking credit for previous exams.
Question is: which path do i commit to and how do i follow it? Are there options to pursue without a degree? Where do i apply myself, now or after degree, and not get stuck in a standard wage job?

monetary: 15k in the bank, no investments, no debt. Currently living with parents, monthly expenses limited to food and phone.
Would definitely not mind moving out (and staying out). Should be able to break even or come out ahead if i work part/full time during lectures/free time.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2016, 01:15:45 PM by Burghardt »

gooki

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2376
  • Location: NZ
keep it up the transformation. There's no right answer as to what to do. Just keep on moving forward.

Personally I'd take the quickest path to graduation while also hunting for work/internships.