Author Topic: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job  (Read 2996 times)

teltic

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Age: 28 M
Income: $100k
Annual expenses: $20k-ish.
Networth: $300k
Est. FIRE date: Summer 2022… But I can easily see myself doing the “one more year” thing.  Because maybe I have kids & a wife/more expenses (I'd like to own a home, but keep renting a room for $400 a month).


Anyway.  Hi 😊

I’ve been dissatisfied about my career for a while now (basically the entire time I’ve been in corporate finance (6.5 years).  It’s going to the point to where I’ve told myself I would treat myself to taking a sabbatical… As a way to test out whether RE is for me.  I had my date set for May, that way I could max all retirement accounts before taking a break.

I do think I am overpaid by ~$20k.  If I left, and went for a new job, I don’t think I could land a $20k job. 

So, my idea is… Maybe I should “treat myself” to find more joy in my life.  I like to socialize and make new friends.  I’ve been too cheap to join a sports league, because I *could* find a meetup group that plays that sport for free (yet I don’t go).  Maybe coughing up $7.50 per week, to have a Tuesday night volleyball game to make new friends (and exercise a little)… Is worth it?  Maybe they go for drinks after the game and I buy 1 overpriced $6 beer? Or two!?!  Maybe I spend $20 a week on this unnecessary activity, but it makes my Monday to Friday less miserable.

Maybe I punt an entire $2-5k annually on activities/things I’d enjoy… In order to be happy enough to survive the work grind.


Hopefully this makes sense… Anyone have any opinions or have done something similar?  Spend money to find/create more happiness in your life? Am I becoming a fancy pants by doing this?


the_gastropod

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2019, 03:25:53 PM »
For the love of Pete, man. Yes! The point isn't to be a miser—it's to spend your money on things that you truly value. Loosen up a bit!

Fuzz

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2019, 04:34:07 PM »
Yes - spend the money.

Also, as part of my journey, I've learned that the things that you think make you unhappy aren't actually what's making you unhappy.

So if you have a crappy job, and poor health or a thin friend group, then quitting your job doesn't actually make you happy or happier because you haven't fixed the health/friend group problem.

Also, retiring at 30 with 500K saved (my extrapolation of your numbers) seems like signing up for 70 years of rice and beans for dinner. Doable, but a pretty limiting if you want to have a family.

Hirondelle

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2019, 11:18:24 PM »
Dude, you've been making threads about taking sabbaticals/career switches/being miserable at work for ages now. Quit that job and go do something you like better.

Regarding the sports example; why do you think you'd go to the paid league but not the meetup group? For some people the fact that they pay makes them more motivated to go (this may be you) but for many it doesn't. Figure out why you are not going and why paying for that thing may make you go?

I definitely spend money on doing things that makes me happy. I spend about €12k/year and €2-3k of that is devoted to travel. It's my second highest expense after rent.. Most other folks here aren't any different as far as I'm aware. Happiness first.

Bumbles8

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2019, 06:25:43 AM »
Take a sabbatical.  Quit the job - there are plenty of others and you may not be as overpaid as you think.

I started to really hate my job 2 years ago.  I went through some crazy phases - I looked at oil jobs in the Middle East, I looked at buying a crotch rocket, I considered buying a sports car, and a couple other crazy things.  What I really needed was to leave my job.  Thankfully I never purchased any large item.

But I did start making plans for a sabbatical.  I put in my notice in February and haven’t worked since March.  I hiked the entire Appalachian Trail and then started looking for jobs.  I had plenty of opportunities and ended up with a higher salary and move vacation than I used to have (even though I thought no way I would make more money compared to my old job).  I start in a week and a half.  I feel way better and had a lot of time to think about my life.

Money isn’t worth going crazy.  Take some time off.  Their are plenty of jobs out there and I bet you would be surprised at the amount you can get paid.  But take a significant amount of time off before looking for jobs - go travel or fulfill a dream

Malcat

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2019, 07:58:48 AM »
Let me get this straight.

You are choosing to be miserable, with no discernable reason to do so???

Just so we're totally clear, this is the life you are choosing?

thesis

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2019, 08:30:59 AM »
You could negotiate your salary for more time off and use that time to explore some of your other interests.

For those of us in well-paying industries, I feel like this makes a ton of sense. I'm in a similar position to you in that I'm making pretty good money but I'm not married and I don't have kids. This is great because I get to sock so much money away for FI (I'm about 1/3 as far as you are, though :-) ), but realistically, I could drop to 3/4 time and still be saving lots of money. I'm finding I would prefer the time to the money, as I have a few key hiking and travel aspirations.

I'd say take a few risks, live your life, buy a few expensive beers. At that sort of pay, who cares? Plus, I feel that people who have the guts to make bold decisions often find themselves in higher paying roles anyway. Maybe it shows some degree of "leadership", I don't know

jlcnuke

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2019, 09:37:52 AM »
I make a little bit more than you, but I budget for 4 international vacations each year and $200 for "whatever fun" each week throughout the year. Just for some perspective.

honeybbq

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2019, 12:22:57 PM »
Of course you should spend some money to make your life fruitful and fun.

What if you get hit by a bus in 3 years?
What if you have a crippling or life threatening disease?

Pay yourself first but by all means live your life!

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2019, 12:40:01 PM »
FFS, you have the means and every opportunity to live your best life and you’re choosing not to. Love yourself more! You only get one life.

albireo13

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2019, 12:49:16 PM »
Make money to live … not the other way around.

Eowynd

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2019, 11:37:40 AM »
Maybe I punt an entire $2-5k annually on activities/things I’d enjoy… In order to be happy enough to survive the work grind.


Hopefully this makes sense… Anyone have any opinions or have done something similar?  Spend money to find/create more happiness in your life? Am I becoming a fancy pants by doing this?

I spend ~2k per year on my BJJ hobby.  Because of this spending, I wake up genuinely happy every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday that I get to train.

I spend another ~2k per year on optional vacations.  Because of this spending, I get to take a couple days break from "real life" and come back home with a renewed sense of gratitude for my life.

I spend just less than 1k per year on my pets.  Because of this spending, I am rewarded with one cute, fuzzy bunny to pet when I'm indoors and a few colorful, delightful chickens to watch run around the garden when I'm outdoors.

Sometimes, my work feels like a grind.  However, the ability to afford the lifestyle that I enjoy so much makes it all totally worth it!

mistymoney

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2019, 10:35:18 AM »
Your annual spending is meaningless if you aren't modeling the life you want, right? So if you FIRE and are able to maintain your currently miserable life, what have you accomplished?

To understand your FIRE number, you need to be living a life you want to keep living, and then figure it our from there. :)

undercover

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2019, 12:23:56 PM »
I do believe a certain amount of sacrifice and uncomfortableness is required in life to learn and grow and thus achieve but your mind will tell you when it’s just not sustainable. Trust me and listen to your intuition sooner than later before you really burnout and start making poor decisions. I’ve been there and it can get bad and is definitely not worth it.

You don’t have to YOLO-it, but you definitely need to focus more on the present instead of being “all-in” on the future. The present is guaranteed since it exists right now but the future is never certain.

Delayed gratification and misery don’t have to coincide.

flyingaway

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2019, 02:44:08 PM »
Start a family.

GuitarStv

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #15 on: November 29, 2019, 03:07:55 PM »
Start a family.

Holy shit, this is incredibly bad advice.  That's kinda like telling someone with a hang-nail to stab himself in the 'nads . . . because it'll distract him from the pain of the hang-nail.


Get your shit together before you start looking for a relationship.  Don't expect another person to solve your problems for you.  And stay the fuck away from the idea of children until you've got your shit together, AND have a stable/loving relationship.  A child will add to, not solve problems.

MoneyQuirk

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #16 on: December 01, 2019, 11:15:34 PM »
I think it's a spectrum.

Keep in mind that your life right now counts just as much as your life in the future.

If you're miserable now, that IS IN FACT A DAY YOU'RE MISERABLE.

Money isn't the end goal. The end goal is happiness. I wouldn't blow the money on stuff "just 'cause". However, I'd find something that provides meaning to me and I would sink several k into that a year if I were you. Maybe take some lessons in something you're passionate about (for me that's chess).

You gotta love yourself right now as well as future you :).

use2betrix

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Re: "Treat yourself" while working high income and boring/miserable job
« Reply #17 on: December 02, 2019, 07:03:11 AM »
My job is very stressful. The amount of money is worth the stress. I spend more and it does help mitigate the stress. I’ve also taken a couple long sabbaticals and can happily know that when I FIRE, I’ll be happy spending considerably yes.

The amount extra I spend to bring more happiness (some fun toys, nicer dinners, weekend trips, etc.) still has me way, way ahead of where I would be with a significantly lower paying job that I “enjoy.”

In summary - it sounds like your spending levels are too low to provide you with an adequate amount of comfort that you would like.. I’d slowly bump it up and see if it’s worth it. I have a hunch it will be if you keep it reasonable.