"Joint" Babysitting - pre-paid or variable pay as needed?

[jeromedawg]

Hi all,

Was curious to get your thoughts on the following... I'm going to bullet point list it out so it's clearer:

- Weekly gathering of families (some with kids and some without) on a weeknight
- While the adults are meeting/talking the kids are in another room and there's a babysitter watching them
- Sometimes there might just be 1 family with kids but as many as 4 families (possibly more than that at times)
- One or two families want to pre-pay the sitters for the full month and split everything evenly across all four families w/ kids.
- Sometimes, due to illness or other unforeseen events, some families won't make it or just one parent will bring one or two kids but not the entire family/other kids.
- Other families have suggested to pay as we go and pay based on the # of kids (or families with kids) that are present.


I lean towards the pay as you go and just accept the fact that you may pay more if another family doesn't show up.

What do you guys think?  And if pay as you go, how would you structure the payment?

[JJ-]

This honestly sounds exhausting as a parent of two kids under 6.

However, if your only reservations are finances and not an indeterminate weekly commitment, and you can afford a reliable babysitter that is willing to handle anywhere between two and eight kids (!), I'd pay whatever is needed to keep that sitter locked in.

If you need a financial analogy this kinda sounds like splitting the bill or paying separately, or even signing up for a gym membership.

But, my suspicions are this isn't about money. I'd challenge you and your friend group to lean into being parents (and friends of parents) and learn how to get quality time together with kids around. This is where you all are in life. 

[Freedomin5]

My small group hired a sitter for our nine kids. We paid per week, because sometimes the sitter couldn’t make it, or sometimes it was just a couple kids and we cancelled the sitter. We just rotated on who paid. So if another family paid last week, I’d offer to pay this week if I was there. It was an unspoken courtesy that each family offered to pay at least once a month. And that way, if you have a family that only shows up very occasionally, they won’t be expected to pay as frequently.

Eventually, once the kids got a bit older, like at least half of them hit elementary school age, we just put them in the playroom and let them duke it out amongst themselves. Actually, they played quite well together, and we were just one room over so could hear if things got out of hand, at which point one of the parents (usually the one to whom the screaming kid belonged) would head over to help the kids sort it out.

[maisymouser]

Parent of one here. I kind of agree with post above saying this sounds kind of exhausting. If my kid is in the same building as me, there's no way I'm not going to get interrupted at some point during a social event, regardless of if there is another caregiver. Granted, he's four, but I would opt to have a babysitter at home and leave the house or vice versa.

I also imagine that there's going to be drama about who pays what and the scheduling, etcetera. This is a great idea in principle but I wouldn't personally want to coordinate this much with up to three other families. I just don't see it working out super well.

I hope you keep us posted and let us know how it goes though! I could be totally wrong or maybe it's a really good fit for your personal situation.

[jeromedawg]

My small group hired a sitter for our nine kids. We paid per week, because sometimes the sitter couldn’t make it, or sometimes it was just a couple kids and we cancelled the sitter. We just rotated on who paid. So if another family paid last week, I’d offer to pay this week if I was there. It was an unspoken courtesy that each family offered to pay at least once a month. And that way, if you have a family that only shows up very occasionally, they won’t be expected to pay as frequently.

Eventually, once the kids got a bit older, like at least half of them hit elementary school age, we just put them in the playroom and let them duke it out amongst themselves. Actually, they played quite well together, and we were just one room over so could hear if things got out of hand, at which point one of the parents (usually the one to whom the screaming kid belonged) would head over to help the kids sort it out.

Interesting concept - did you pay the sitter a flat rate and same amount each time? Or was it a base rate + extra per kid?

[Freedomin5]

My small group hired a sitter for our nine kids. We paid per week, because sometimes the sitter couldn’t make it, or sometimes it was just a couple kids and we cancelled the sitter. We just rotated on who paid. So if another family paid last week, I’d offer to pay this week if I was there. It was an unspoken courtesy that each family offered to pay at least once a month. And that way, if you have a family that only shows up very occasionally, they won’t be expected to pay as frequently.

Eventually, once the kids got a bit older, like at least half of them hit elementary school age, we just put them in the playroom and let them duke it out amongst themselves. Actually, they played quite well together, and we were just one room over so could hear if things got out of hand, at which point one of the parents (usually the one to whom the screaming kid belonged) would head over to help the kids sort it out.

Interesting concept - did you pay the sitter a flat rate and same amount each time? Or was it a base rate + extra per kid?

Flat rate. The kids mostly played with each other. The sitter was just there to keep an eye on things. That kept things simple.

[AMandM]

I think it depends on whether you'll pay the sitter the same amount each week, regardless of the number of kids, or pay on the basis of how many kids show up. If the pay depends on the number of kids, then it makes sense for the families that attend on a given week to pay for that week's sitting. If you're paying a flat rate, then I think it makes more sense to pay in advance; the cost of the sitter is a fixed cost that's part of the event. You could split that cost by the number of families or by the number of kids.

[ender]

My small group hired a sitter for our nine kids. We paid per week, because sometimes the sitter couldn’t make it, or sometimes it was just a couple kids and we cancelled the sitter. We just rotated on who paid. So if another family paid last week, I’d offer to pay this week if I was there. It was an unspoken courtesy that each family offered to pay at least once a month. And that way, if you have a family that only shows up very occasionally, they won’t be expected to pay as frequently.

Eventually, once the kids got a bit older, like at least half of them hit elementary school age, we just put them in the playroom and let them duke it out amongst themselves. Actually, they played quite well together, and we were just one room over so could hear if things got out of hand, at which point one of the parents (usually the one to whom the screaming kid belonged) would head over to help the kids sort it out.

+1 we've done this too, it worked well.