Interesting discussion. It has made me stop and consider if I envy the folks around me who are living it up.
And I realize that I really don't.
There are the folks who living pretty similar lives to ours, only with slightly nicer cars, and more visits to restaurants, and more takeout, and more purchases of "stuff" for their kids, and fancier vacations, and cable subscriptions, and fancy phones...I can see how their lives are FAR more expensive but without a lot of added VALUE. I have no envy at all- we're making slightly different decisions, but I think we're making the right ones for us, so I don't envy them their fancy haircuts or the dvd they picked up at Target. Not a bit. And these are good friends- who are definitely living within their means, and certainly on target to retire at 65. But likely not early.
Then there are the friends who are really living different lives. The trendy condo downtown, frequent trips to Napa and Colorado and L.A., upcoming super-posh guided cycling vacation in France, frequent new gadgets, trendiest of restaurants every weekend. It's easy to not compare, as they're childless by choice and prioritize other things. However, I don't have envy here, either. I know they're still paying student loans, and I know his spendy nature stresses their marriage because she's naturally frugal. They don't have prospects for early retirement, either.
But that doesn't mean I'm immune- it just means I have different values. What I find I do envy a little are the people ahead of us on the road to FIRE here on this site. We're 2-5 years away, depending on choices we make. And honestly I'm glad we're not there yet, because I'm not quite ready to throw in the towel on the career I worked so long/hard to achieve. But dragging myself out of bed Monday mornings...and I find myself wishing we were already there! So I find myself wishing we'd bought a less-expensive house, maybe, to speed us on our road to FIRE. We might downsize in a year or two (now would be the wrong timing for various reasons). I find myself hearing about savings rates of 75% and envying that a little- ours is a bit below 60%, I think, and we could do better!! So I consider what changes I can make to improve our situation.
So I guess- what I envy depends on what I value, and what I perceive is out of my reach. I don't envy the trip to Disney - if we decide to go to Disney one day, we'll go. It's not a priority for us now. I might, on the other hand, envy a long camping trip to Yosemite or Rocky Mountain NP- because that's a trip I'm dying to make but don't have enough vacation time to do it this summer. I'm not lacking in money, I'm lacking in time.
And that is why I have my sights set on FIRE.