Author Topic: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal (posted another by her)  (Read 10767 times)

SpendyMcSpend

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http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444165804578008431687327750.html?KEYWORDS=DEMETRIA+GALLEGOS

They have at least two kids, one of which is 15 and they only have $9,000 saved for his college.  They have two homes, one in Colorado (the rent it out) and they go there on vacations. They want to "float" the property tax payment till April and they don't have $10k in an emergency fund. 
« Last Edit: January 03, 2013, 10:32:22 AM by Meadow »

arebelspy

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2012, 06:51:05 PM »
He sounds like he has the right mindset, but got tired of arguing with her, and lets her be as consumeristic as she wants for the sake of marital harmony.  I feel bad for him.
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luna

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2012, 08:30:46 PM »
I don't think that they'll ever have that emergency fund.

I feel sad for him too.

Jamesqf

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2012, 10:37:24 PM »
I don't think he's all that frugal.  He still uses a coin-operated dryer rather than a clothesline :-)

mustachecat

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2012, 07:01:54 AM »
Another vote for sadness. :(

I feel terrible for this guy. He's being so, so, so reasonable, but yes, he's also clearly given up. I'm sure he'd rather focus on meeting their big goals, but it sounds like all that he can control is wearing holey socks and buying produce that's "way too ripe."

bo_knows

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2012, 08:04:28 AM »
He sounds like he has the right mindset, but got tired of arguing with her, and lets her be as consumeristic as she wants for the sake of marital harmony.  I feel bad for him.

I feel bad for him, son. I have 99 problems and...

I'm glad my wife is in the same realm of spending as I am.

tooqk4u22

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2012, 08:57:59 AM »
Beaten down for sure...favorite quote

"People who need a lot of stuff, you have to wonder if they're psychologically damaged."

SpendyMcSpend

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2012, 10:01:00 AM »
Beaten down for sure...favorite quote

"People who need a lot of stuff, you have to wonder if they're psychologically damaged."

Haha yes that was great.  He's clearly Mustachian in there somewhere.

elindbe2

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2012, 10:28:50 AM »
Being of a mindset like the husband, it's really sickening to read her talking about him like he's an alien.  He's not thinking about his family's future, he's just "wired differently".  He's not trying to send his daughter's to college, he's being the "no parent".

This is probably why I'd have hard time being married (not that I don't want to be).  Here'd be my answers to his wife's questions:

  • Do I throw money around?  Yes
  • I asked John how he felt about being the "no" parent in our family.  Feel's great trying to give my daughters a solid future.
  • I asked John if he felt I undermine his efforts to teach the girls about handling money wisely.  Yes.

Sparafusile

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #9 on: October 02, 2012, 10:50:47 AM »
Let's see... pay the property taxes on our home or go on vacation?

What she doesn't realize is that by not paying the taxes, the state can essentially take the house away from them. Not paying property taxes would be the last thing I would do. I would not pay the mortgage before I tried to "float" the taxes. At least the bank wants you to keep the house.

DocCyane

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #10 on: October 02, 2012, 05:58:56 PM »
Sometimes I want to slap other women upside the head and ask them why they're undermining their partners who are only trying to bring security to the household.


kkbmustang

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #11 on: October 02, 2012, 07:24:13 PM »
This is my mother, sadly. Although my dad does an excellent job of telling my mother to fuck off. *Did I just say that out loud?*

Had Sunday dinner at the 'rents this weekend and my mother bitched about the fact that my dad bought generic macaroni for the mac and cheese and it, therefore, did not taste as good as it would have if he'd bought the name brand. When I told her that generic was made in the same plant as the name brand (she's just paying for the packaging and advertising budget for the name brand), I got an earful.

I feel bad for my dad. My mom is very generous in spirit and in other ways, but she has no clue about money. She grew up incredibly poor (like one dress that got washed every night poor), so she's very materialistic and consumeristic. My dad also grew up poor, but he craves financial stability. I find it very interesting how they both grew up poor, but have such different psychological responses to a similar set of circumstances.

jpo

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2012, 06:40:27 AM »
Another vote for feeling bad for that guy.

Sylly

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2012, 09:18:09 AM »
On the positive side, most of the comments are on the husband's side.

StashinIt

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2012, 12:02:38 PM »
I know this guy! Well not literally, but I know a guy just like him. Moderately frugal but beaten down by an ultra-consumer. It's tough, I consider him to be a role-model of restraint and discipline for putting up with it for so many years. However, I also consider him a wimp for letting it happen. So I'm torn.  It's not just him, many people I know in relationships demonstrate this to some degree or another.

+1 for feeling bad for the guy

Personally, my wife was more frugal than I was when we first got married. Now the roles have reversed. She didn't change much, I did. She is probably more frugal than ever, but now she calls ME cheap.. people can change if they just think.

Guitarist

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #15 on: October 03, 2012, 01:43:07 PM »
Ugh, this sounds like my life right now. :-(

TomTX

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2012, 03:13:47 PM »
Let's see... pay the property taxes on our home or go on vacation?

What she doesn't realize is that by not paying the taxes, the state can essentially take the house away from them. Not paying property taxes would be the last thing I would do. I would not pay the mortgage before I tried to "float" the taxes. At least the bank wants you to keep the house.

Remember, she's using loaded, misleading verbage. What's she's calling "our home" is the vacation house 2,000 miles away they use a couple of weeks per year. Total consumerist ownership. It would be cheaper and simpler to just sell the Colorado house, then take vacations when they can afford them.

Self-employed-swami

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2012, 01:41:52 PM »
I found this gem in the comments section:
"I don't know what kind of work John does, nor would I presume to criticize anyone in how they handle their money, especially in this down economy.

That having been said, I would like to offer a few observations.

First of all, it's very difficult, it not impossible to accumulate large sums of money simply by being frugal.

In other words, if you need to put aside a sum money for the kid's college education and for retirement, say, $500,000 or $1 million or by the time you are 65, you are not going to do that by walking an extra four miles to Target. The dollar or two that you save on erasers still will not add up that much, even over the long haul to put money aside for college or fore retiremet.

The answer is a different direction. And, that is, figure out how to make more money!

For example, instead of walking four miles to Target, take the time to see what could be done to supplement your income to make more money.

Now if the husband published a book or a newsletter called "Frugal John's Almanac, or the Frugal Husbands Guide to Saving Money, and sold internet subsriptions to said newsletter, he could probably generate so much cash that he wouldn't have to worry about the price of a newsletter.

So, in summary, it's not for me or anyone to criticize how someone else spends their money, especially in this down economy. The last four years or so have been about survival pure and simple.

But, I also believe that you cannot generate the huge sums of cash that you need to fund your retirement and pay for the kids college simply by being thrifty.

That having been said, her husband could publish a book or a news letter called Frugal John's Almanac, and make a bundle of cash. Then at that point, he could still be as frugal as he wanted but he would have boatloads of money to be frugal with.

Personally, I'm from Texas and we have a saying, "Go big or go home." If I have to worry about the price of an eraser, I would just hang it up!""

Wow.  I think everything she said is backwards!


Self-employed-swami

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal (posted another by her)
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2013, 01:37:21 PM »
Frick! I think she is finally starting to get it.  However, if my spouse spoke about me in such a degrading way, I'd be really hurt.  The first article was way worse for that, but still... Where is her respect for him?

madgeylou

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2013, 01:50:33 PM »
this quote needs one tiny edit:

Sometimes I want to slap other women PEOPLE upside the head and ask them why they're undermining their partners who are only trying to bring security to the household.

it's not just women who undermine their partners!

unitsinc

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Re: Wow - This journalist thinks her husband is frugal (posted another by her)
« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2013, 02:29:50 PM »
I'm glad she's doing a bit better.

But I'm mostly interested in the old manuscript flipping. That just seems really cool to buy an old book(or something of that nature) and flip it for 100k profit.