Author Topic: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K  (Read 30280 times)

Stasher

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2021
  • Age: 45
  • Location: Cowichan Valley, Vancouver Island
  • Power through Positivity
    • Mindful Explorer
Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« on: December 31, 2015, 12:25:42 PM »
Pretty silly article but I found the real cream of the crop hiding in the comments section.
http://thefinancialdiet.com/the-financial-confessions-i-wont-date-a-man-who-makes-less-than-six-figures/
Someone is even complaining about not getting ahead on $160,000 a year so they are just spending all their money on travel.

Yankuba

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1357
  • Location: Long Island, NY
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2015, 12:47:56 PM »
What jumped out at me with regard to the $160K comment was the fact that her husband is a resident - so that $160K is going to become $260K in a few short years. And it will continue to climb.

AH013

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 272
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2015, 01:15:56 PM »
TLDR: Woman who got a late start to her career (28 now, 3 years into a career...the f did you do from graduating college at 21 until you started this career at 25?) makes shit in salary in a career she is passionate about, but wants the wonderful fancy life in NYC.  Ex-boyfriend loved her and wanted her to stay with him while he studied his passion abroad.  F that, only she should be happy with what she does!  Dumps him after unsuccessful guilt trip trying to get him to pass on this amazing opportunity for himself.  Now seeking a good match -- which is any man who earns a respectable amount that a man should earn...which by her advanced calculation is double what a woman (like her) earns.  Please come along soon dreamboat...getting tired of living off mom & dad's credit cards.  Important note:  she's willing to cook, clean, host your dinner parties and tell you funny jokes (like the one about the sucker who's bankrolling her fabulous lifestyle).

I'm absolutely loving the roasting fellow women are giving this gold digger.  I agree with her calculations though -- since in my eyes she's only about half a person, it is appropriate to only go searching for someone who brings in twice what she does.

Yankuba

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1357
  • Location: Long Island, NY
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2015, 01:25:38 PM »
TLDR: Woman who got a late start to her career (28 now, 3 years into a career...the f did you do from graduating college at 21 until you started this career at 25?) makes shit in salary in a career she is passionate about, but wants the wonderful fancy life in NYC.  Ex-boyfriend loved her and wanted her to stay with him while he studied his passion abroad.  F that, only she should be happy with what she does!  Dumps him after unsuccessful guilt trip trying to get him to pass on this amazing opportunity for himself.  Now seeking a good match -- which is any man who earns a respectable amount that a man should earn...which by her advanced calculation is double what a woman (like her) earns.  Please come along soon dreamboat...getting tired of living off mom & dad's credit cards.  Important note:  she's willing to cook, clean, host your dinner parties and tell you funny jokes (like the one about the sucker who's bankrolling her fabulous lifestyle).

I'm absolutely loving the roasting fellow women are giving this gold digger.  I agree with her calculations though -- since in my eyes she's only about half a person, it is appropriate to only go searching for someone who brings in twice what she does.

Good work. She went to grad school, that's what she was doing in her early 20s.

nobodyspecial

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1469
  • Location: Land above the land of the free
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2015, 02:30:53 PM »
Important note:  she's willing to cook, clean, host your dinner parties and tell you funny jokes (like the one about the sucker who's bankrolling her fabulous lifestyle).
All functions you can contract out.
The sage advice : if it flys, floats or f***s = lease it

JrDoctor

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 103
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2015, 03:11:44 PM »
She needs a damn good pimp hand.

MOD EDIT: Violence against women is not an appropriate joke/suggestion.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2016, 12:27:18 AM by arebelspy »

totoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2099
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2015, 03:28:22 PM »
Important note:  she's willing to cook, clean, host your dinner parties and tell you funny jokes (like the one about the sucker who's bankrolling her fabulous lifestyle).
All functions you can contract out.
The sage advice : if ....f***s = lease it

I find your attitude far more offensive than hers. 

I expect she'll probably find the person she is looking for.   She might miss out on the compatibility she had before which is a pretty big thing.

nazar

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 91
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2016, 01:29:55 PM »
So her argument is: Well, I didn't like the expense of supporting a weak financial partner, so better I should be the one that is a financial drain on the relationship" or did I read that wrong?  Kudos to all of the female commenters telling her to achieve her own goals and make her own money.

gimp

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2348
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2016, 04:18:05 PM »
Shit like this is why redpillers exist.

Let's go down the checklist.

- Dated and deeply loved a man for four years; wouldn't be willing to move to a nordic country (because they're so terrible, right?), wouldn't be able to do long distance. "He's the one unless it's inconvenient."
- Earns $50k, but wants a man who earns at least $100k.
- Isn't willing to move out of NYC.
- Has degrees in various bullshit where $50k in NYC is near the top of her career.
- Whine whine whine about money.

Listen, don't get me wrong, financial stability is a big fucking deal. But when one yearns to be financially stable, the equitable thing to look for is someone who makes a similar amount of money, or someone who makes enough money that the two of you together can achieve the things you want. When going with route #2, if that other person's income is greater than yours, your dreams are simply beyond your ability. Improve yourself? Earn more? Nah, just find a sucker to leech off of.

She's exactly the kind of person you'd want to lease, not buy.

Making Cookies

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1648
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2016, 06:03:47 PM »
Nah, just buy her A COFFEE so you collect stories to post here at the Wall of Shame and Comedy...

I understand wanting someone who contributes something practical to your relationship but it seemed like practicality wasn't the point.

(edit: my first version sounded terrible. Left out the mention of a coffee... Sorry.)
« Last Edit: January 02, 2016, 11:14:44 AM by Joe Average »

obstinate

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 899
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2016, 07:07:39 PM »
Shit like this is why redpillers exist.
No, they would exist independent of any extreme examples of bad behavior on the part of women. In the same way preppers exist despite the lack of imminent apocalypse. This woman is just as justified in looking for a high income individual as an ugly-but-wealthy man would be in seeking a beautiful partner.

sol

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8492
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Pacific Northwest
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2016, 08:41:38 PM »
This woman is just as justified in looking for a high income individual as an ugly-but-wealthy man would be in seeking a beautiful partner.

Maybe just as "justified", but also just as ugly as if the man had written an article saying "I won't date a woman who weighs more than 100 pounds".  It's an ugly sentiment, either way.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3643
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #12 on: January 01, 2016, 10:52:17 PM »
I feel like most people have criteria in their hand, it's just that most people don't have a specific number in their head. I know from a few friends that moved from HK and Singapore that the first thing their dates tended to ask them was, "What car do you drive," or "How much do you make?" They say they are happier in the US where people aren't so bold about asking, though they know that most people care to some extent.

As for her agreeing to cooking and the like, that seems to be a little more reasonable. I think of dating and marriage can be a partnership. A good friend of mine is engaged to a guy that makes loads more than she does, but she does work and cooks and cleans, and does as much as she can to help make him happy and he likes making her happy.


totoro

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2099
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2016, 11:15:53 PM »
You can't really contract out a romantic partnership.  You build it together.  Paying someone to cook and clean or whatever is not the same as building a life together.  The money part is more important to some people than others.  For most, you can't replace family attachment with money.

I would never devalue what my partner brings to my life by saying I should just lease his services because he benefits more financially.  Just a bunch of crappy attitudes all around on this thread.

As far as having criteria, I am in favour of criteria when looking for a partner.  Similar values and goals are really important.  While this article may have triggered some reasonable push back based on someone looking for a lifestyle funded by another's earnings, I'm more disturbed by the responses. 

I don't say her approach doesn't have some ethical flaws, but wanting to have a certain level of economic stability in order to have children and family in an expensive city after experience years of financial instability in a failed relationship is understandable.  I think someone who can earn a higher income can benefit from someone willing to do more of the work at home to enable them to make the income and have a good home life and this has a lot of value.  The dynamic works for lots of families. 

And, fwiw, in my experience a lot of people, many men in fact, have physical criteria for relationships that have nothing to do with fairness or internal compatibility.

And deciding not to move to a Nordic country for a relationship is a valid and rational choice.  He could have decided to stay.  If they weren't on the same page then move on.  Life is time limited and so is the window for having children. 

The North American ideal is that money is secondary to love.  However, most arguments in a relationship are money related.  Taking financial stress away to a degree may provide a buffer for a relationship in some cases.  I think this particular case is more of a reaction to a failed relationship than a balanced approach to finding a partner, but I can understand why she's come to this point of view although I don't agree with it.

libertarian4321

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1372
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2016, 05:42:40 AM »
"Last year, I broke up with my boyfriend of four years. He was the guy I thought I was going to marry, and given that I was on the later side of my 20s than the earlier, so did almost everyone else. But we broke up because we were on extremely different paths in life, no matter how much we loved each other, and his new path involved moving to Denmark for grad school."

Looks like some guy dodged a bullet.

How much y'all want to bet this chick is NOT hot, extremely high maintenance, has a ridiculously over inflated opinion of herself, and is going to end up dying alone in a house full of cats?

"If I am going to struggle, Id rather do it alone."

Well, at least she's accepting of her likely fate...

2Birds1Stone

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5622
  • Age: 1
  • Location: Earth
  • K Thnx Bye
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2016, 10:39:13 AM »
Most woman are hypergamous, at least she's honest about it =D

Tabaxus

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 458
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #16 on: January 02, 2016, 11:15:52 AM »
I have to say, I'm not sure I completely understand the level of vitriol in the responses.  There's nothing wrong at all with wanting/seeking out the more "traditional" one high-income earner, one lower income earner (or stay at home, for that matter) type of relationship, and when you're at late 20s/early 30s and starting to see the clock run out on kids, it might not be plausible for this woman to reasonably increase her own income.    It all depends on a couple's circumstances. It's much better to be up front and honest about it then to sink time into a situation that wouldn't work, and a dual-$50k maxed income couple in NYC with kids wouldn't be a comfortable life.

She doesn't come across as "entitled" to me at all.  She just knows what she wants out of life.  There's nothing wrong with that.

sol

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8492
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Pacific Northwest
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #17 on: January 02, 2016, 11:22:01 AM »
She just knows what she wants out of life.  There's nothing wrong with that.

"Wrong" is a matter of opinion, but in this case I find it repulsive.  There's also nothing "wrong" with a man saying he'll only date women under 25 years old who give BJs every morning immediately after cooking him breakfast and before doing his laundry.  I think that relationship is doomed to have an unhealthy power dynamic no matter how "traditional" you think it is.

Is it wrong for a man to say he wants a wife who will forever be a homemaker?  Maybe not, but it's certainly possible to express that desire in an offensive way.

Tabaxus

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 458
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #18 on: January 02, 2016, 11:34:55 AM »
She just knows what she wants out of life.  There's nothing wrong with that.

"Wrong" is a matter of opinion, but in this case I find it repulsive.  There's also nothing "wrong" with a man saying he'll only date women under 25 years old who give BJs every morning immediately after cooking him breakfast and before doing his laundry.  I think that relationship is doomed to have an unhealthy power dynamic no matter how "traditional" you think it is.

Is it wrong for a man to say he wants a wife who will forever be a homemaker?  Maybe not, but it's certainly possible to express that desire in an offensive way.

Eh.  I know a few couples with a stay-at-home spouse; two older couples dating back to when that was simply the "norm," and two couples around my age who do it by choice.  In the younger couples, one has a SAHD, one has a SAHM.

One of the older couples has a terrible power dynamic, and it's hard to see.  Wife never really had a career, so she's really in a tough spot.  The other older couple is one of the happiest couples I've ever known. 

Both of the younger couples are great.  They made a conscious decision that they wanted to have a stay at home parent.  They both understood the lack of "independence" that implied for the stay at home pair of the couple, but they don't treat it that way at all.  They just make all of their decisions as a unit, and in each case, if the "working" half of the couple tried to make any kind of "power play," the stay at home half of the couple would have none of it.  There's no power imbalance at all, they're just filling different roles.

I'm sure it goes awry for some people, but so does the DIWK lifestyle of our generation.  I don't think it inevitably leads to bad outcomes, and I'm not convinced that thinking in the stark terms of this woman's post really cuts one way or the other. 

StockBeard

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 638
  • Age: 37
    • How To Retire Early?
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #19 on: January 07, 2016, 02:59:53 PM »
They both understood the lack of "independence" that implied for the stay at home pair of the couple
Kind of derailing the conversation here, but interesting that on the topic of "stay at home" nobody ever mentions the increased pressure on the one who works. I'm the one who works, and my wife chose to stay at home, initially I disagreed to the idea (in part because my - very modern and liberal - family did not understand that *I* had my wife stay at home) but she was happy about it so ultimately it worked out.

Nevertheless, there is now huge pressure for me to provide for my wife and 2 kids. I can't decide to "switch careers" all of a sudden and become, say, an artist, or a freelancer who would need to "grow up" their business for 5 years before making any significant money; as it would jeopardize our financial future.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3643
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2016, 03:14:06 PM »

I'm sure it goes awry for some people, but so does the DIWK lifestyle of our generation.

What is DIWK? All I could come up with is Double Income Working Kids...

StockBeard

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 638
  • Age: 37
    • How To Retire Early?
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #21 on: January 07, 2016, 03:14:42 PM »

I'm sure it goes awry for some people, but so does the DIWK lifestyle of our generation.

What is DIWK? All I could come up with is Double Income Working Kids...
With* kids?

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3643
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #22 on: January 07, 2016, 03:17:35 PM »

I'm sure it goes awry for some people, but so does the DIWK lifestyle of our generation.

What is DIWK? All I could come up with is Double Income Working Kids...
With* kids?

Ahh, that would make sense.

For some reason With never came to my head, I did think Without for a moment, but the term for that is DINK (AFAIK).

onehair

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 371
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2016, 08:34:52 AM »
At least she is honest about what she wants.  And I doubt she moves in circles where the men make less.  Maybe she will get what she wants maybe not.  But marriage is still a viable option for women and some men to get to money without earning or inheriting it or using illegal methods or gambling....

ender

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4879
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #24 on: January 08, 2016, 08:42:08 AM »
I won't date a man who makes less than 100k either.


Matumba

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 82
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #25 on: January 08, 2016, 08:50:05 AM »
Just another basic bitch.  Too many of them out there in NY. 

At least this one says she's willing to cook and clean.

And yes,  I agree that if it flies,  floats or fucks,  rent,  don't buy.


BTW I fit her requirements,  but I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole. 


MOD NOTE: Please read the forum rules.  Thanks!
« Last Edit: January 12, 2016, 02:21:16 AM by arebelspy »

nobodyspecial

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1469
  • Location: Land above the land of the free
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #26 on: January 08, 2016, 08:51:29 AM »
I won't date a man who makes less than 100k either.
Or one that made over 100k ?
 

ender

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4879
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #27 on: January 08, 2016, 08:54:10 AM »
I won't date a man who makes less than 100k either.
Or one that made over 100k ?

;)

nobodyspecial

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1469
  • Location: Land above the land of the free
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #28 on: January 08, 2016, 08:57:07 AM »
You mean Jerry Hall didn't marry Rupert Murdoch for his ready wit, philanthropic reputation or ripped abs ?
« Last Edit: January 12, 2016, 08:41:18 PM by nobodyspecial »

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3643
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2016, 09:00:18 AM »
I have to also remind myself that she wants to remain in NYC. $100k salary in Brooklyn buys what $62k annually here Minnesota does.

Yankuba

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1357
  • Location: Long Island, NY
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #30 on: January 08, 2016, 09:08:07 AM »
I have to also remind myself that she wants to remain in NYC. $100k salary in Brooklyn buys what $62k annually here Minnesota does.

Correct. $100k in NYC is not a lot of money due to the strong municipal jobs. NYPD earn $90k without OT in their sixth year and they only need two years of college. So they're earning six figures by the time they're 27. But I doubt the author would date a cop.

maizeman

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3701
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #31 on: January 08, 2016, 09:08:41 AM »
Until we start getting anti-discrimination legislation targeting users of dating websites, people are free to have whatever objectifying or stereotypical criteria for potential mates they like.

However, in both cases (the <25 yo  <100 lb stay at home wife and the >$100k man who will happily support a stay a home wife and her children in-the-style-to-which-she-hopes-to-become-accustomed), I guarantee the mate is going to be happier if they don't KNOW these criteria were in play. That way the man can tell himself "my wife would stay with me and still love me if I got laid off" and the woman that "my husband would stay with me and still love me if I got fat." Even if both statements are false, they're happier being able to believe them until and unless circumstances dictate that they actually be tested.

So stating these preferences to the world aloud is a pretty good marker for people who don't value (or don't consider) their future partner's happiness. Which is perhaps an even bigger warning sign to turn and run the other way as fast as you can.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3643
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #32 on: January 08, 2016, 09:25:25 AM »
That way the man can tell himself "my wife would stay with me and still love me if I got laid off" and the woman that "my husband would stay with me and still love me if I got fat." Even if both statements are false, they're happier being able to believe them until and unless circumstances dictate that they actually be tested.

Yup! A good friend of mine is training to be a teacher, she currently works as a substitute whenever she can find an opportunity. Her fiance is an engineer that makes fairly good bank, and she's counting on getting married and having children. That is what they both want, and though they care and love each other, I'm fairly certain that her attitude towards him would change if his income wasn't where it was. At the same time, she's an incredibly caring person, a great host, and an amazingly clean person.

On another note, he's commented feeling stressed out with paying for their wedding and other things (had a major issue in their pipes that required plumbers to fix).

MandalayVA

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1575
  • Location: Orlando FL
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #33 on: January 08, 2016, 09:43:31 AM »
You mean Jerry Hall didn't marry isn't dating Rupert Murdoch for his ready witty, philanthropic reputation or ripped abs ?

Not that I like either of them, but FTFY.  Someone like her, though, has become accustomed to a certain standard of living and will naturally look for someone that can maintain that.  The same with Princess Diana--I doubt she was with Dodi Al-Fayed for his looks (but Dodi paid the big price for dating her).

Tabaxus

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 458
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #34 on: January 08, 2016, 09:44:17 AM »
They both understood the lack of "independence" that implied for the stay at home pair of the couple
Kind of derailing the conversation here, but interesting that on the topic of "stay at home" nobody ever mentions the increased pressure on the one who works. I'm the one who works, and my wife chose to stay at home, initially I disagreed to the idea (in part because my - very modern and liberal - family did not understand that *I* had my wife stay at home) but she was happy about it so ultimately it worked out.

Nevertheless, there is now huge pressure for me to provide for my wife and 2 kids. I can't decide to "switch careers" all of a sudden and become, say, an artist, or a freelancer who would need to "grow up" their business for 5 years before making any significant money; as it would jeopardize our financial future.

This is definitely true. 

mskyle

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 693
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #35 on: January 08, 2016, 10:12:48 AM »
I once met a woman who claimed the first two questions she asks a guy are "How much do you make and how big is your dick?"

I was fascinated and wanted to know more... Could a good number in one area make up for a poor showing in another? Sadly, I did not have the balls to ask (I am a woman, so was not subjected to the inquiry myself). Anyway, it all seemed very short-sighted, but I'm very glad I got to hear her interesting perspective on life and relationships!

sol

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8492
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Pacific Northwest
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #36 on: January 08, 2016, 10:15:03 AM »
I once met a woman who claimed the first two questions she asks a guy are "How much do you make and how big is your dick?"

This is my new favorite idea for a thread topic in the "ask a mustachian" subforum.

StockBeard

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 638
  • Age: 37
    • How To Retire Early?
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #37 on: January 08, 2016, 10:33:38 AM »
I think others have mentioned it, but asking for "reasonable" income as a condition for marriage doesn't sound like an unreasonable request.
I used to live with the very western thought that you marry someone you love and the rest doesn't matter. My thoughts on that have changed when I moved to Asia. In many Asian countries, the first condition for a woman to consider a guy for marriage is how much he makes. Feelings are nice to have, but come second. And, in some regard, it makes sense.

I think both love and money are key parts of keeping a marriage together. Money doesn't have to be huge, but it has to "not be a constant problem", meaning the couple needs some level of "similar expectations" in regards to money (who makes it, who manages it, what to do with it, etc...)

partgypsy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3403
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #38 on: January 08, 2016, 10:47:31 AM »
I knew a girl in HS, who was very upfront that she wanted to find and marry a man who could financially support her. Her passion was opera singing, she wanted to do that, have no kids, and a man who supported her financially. I do know she moved and lived in NYC, did opera singing on some level but from what I know never married and also died relatively young ( cancer). 

I think it is fine to have certain goals, as long as you are realistic they may mean losing out on something. Holding out for a rich guy, or a guy with specific criteria may mean you never get married. To me marrying a rich guy is not an appropriate goal because it is not really under your control. Most people who marry someone wealthy do it before the wealthy have started well on their career and is based on shared education, values, background. The other situation of not having the same shared backgrounds and marrying someone AFTER they have established their career, is akin to winning the lottery and seems more wishful thinking.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2016, 09:48:11 AM by partgypsy »

MarciaB

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 484
  • Age: 58
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #39 on: January 08, 2016, 10:59:35 AM »
I once met a woman who claimed the first two questions she asks a guy are "How much do you make and how big is your dick?"

This is my new favorite idea for a thread topic in the "ask a mustachian" subforum.

I am soooo going to post to follow...

cautiouspessimist

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 308
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #40 on: January 08, 2016, 11:11:20 AM »
I once met a woman who claimed the first two questions she asks a guy are "How much do you make and how big is your dick?"

This is my new favorite idea for a thread topic in the "ask a mustachian" subforum.

I am soooo going to post to follow...

Not gonna lie, my response would be something like "Have a nice day."

daymare

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 463
  • Age: 30
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #41 on: January 08, 2016, 11:33:17 AM »
I once met a woman who claimed the first two questions she asks a guy are "How much do you make and how big is your dick?"
I would be so curious to learn the range of responses to that.  On one hand, I'm not into 'games', but on the other hand people's answers could tell you a lot about them.  Reminds me a bit of the Wall Street interview scenario described in Liar's Poker - interviewee gets asked to open a window in this room of a skyscraper (which of course can't actually be opened).  The interviewer then watches to see what happens - does this person lose their shit?  Try persistently?  Try once and state 'it can't be opened'? 

When my husband and I were first dating, I (not as any type of intentional test, but because I'm blunt) asked him, pretty much verbatim 'So, does this mean you have fucked up views about women?' when he told me he was raised Catholic.  Again, not tactful, not polite, and I could have asked in a better way (and I did later specify that I was thinking of say, the Madonna/whore complex).  On the other hand, the fact that my now-husband laughed at me, dished it back a little, and we ended up having a really great conversation was a pretty important sign of our compatibility.  If he was really offended, then there's no way we would have been a compatible pair (considering my propensity to be blunt, and my discomfort with organized religion and traditional gender norms).  We we have been bad for each other.

Panly

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 67
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #42 on: January 08, 2016, 12:14:26 PM »
I once met a woman who claimed the first two questions she asks a guy are "How much do you make and how big is your dick?"

This is my new favorite idea for a thread topic in the "ask a mustachian" subforum.

I am soooo going to post to follow...

Not gonna lie, my response would be something like "Have a nice day."

I would exagerate .  By the time she finds out, she'll be screwed anyway.

As long as you do not fall in love, golddiggers are good fun.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3643
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #43 on: January 08, 2016, 12:39:04 PM »
I once met a woman who claimed the first two questions she asks a guy are "How much do you make and how big is your dick?"

While I do appreciate women that know what they want and don't make excuses for it, how would her or other women react if a guy responded with, "The first two questions I ask any women are, what are your measurements and do you enjoy cooking/cleaning?"

sol

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8492
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Pacific Northwest
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #44 on: January 08, 2016, 01:54:05 PM »
I would be so curious to learn the range of responses to that.  On one hand, I'm not into 'games', but on the other hand people's answers could tell you a lot about them. 

Really?  I think a person's expressed curiosity about such answers tell you a lot about them.  About you.  What kind of person finds that interesting?  Why? 

I think the only appropriate honest answer to those questions is some variant of "more than you deserve".

gimp

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2348
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #45 on: January 08, 2016, 03:27:36 PM »
"Moderate and moderate. How tight and firm are you?"

daymare

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 463
  • Age: 30
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #46 on: January 08, 2016, 04:23:31 PM »
I would be so curious to learn the range of responses to that.  On one hand, I'm not into 'games', but on the other hand people's answers could tell you a lot about them. 

Really?  I think a person's expressed curiosity about such answers tell you a lot about them.  About you.  What kind of person finds that interesting?  Why? 

I think the only appropriate honest answer to those questions is some variant of "more than you deserve".
Well, I'm not suggesting that just because a question was asked, a thoughtful/complete/accurate answer (or any answer really) is owed.  So for instance, if I got asked a similar question, ie 'how much do you make and how big are your boobs', I might answer along the lines of 'more than you deserve' (for both), like you said.  Or I might say something else.  Not trying to argue that question will endear you to others, or it's a great tactic for meeting a partner, just that the range of answers would be interesting and illustrative.  I'm not sure that says a lot about me, except I'm curious and interested in how people would answer such a question, but I suppose that's a matter of opinion.

money_bunny

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 114
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #47 on: January 11, 2016, 07:08:02 PM »
Areblespy: Thank you for modding the post above. This is the type of topic which can get really negative and toxic.

nobodyspecial

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1469
  • Location: Land above the land of the free
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #48 on: January 11, 2016, 09:37:06 PM »
ie 'how much do you make and how big are your boobs',
Too much and too big - unfortunately I'm a middle-aged man

Skalm

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 52
Re: Won't date a man who makes less than 100K
« Reply #49 on: January 12, 2016, 02:13:07 AM »
I guess that I'm lucky - my wife and I are poor and we don't care about how much the other makes, we care that the other is fulfilled and happy in what they do, and we'll make the budget work around that. I guess the only requirement we have of each other is that we both work hard, we won't tolerate not working at all and just laying around the house.

Asking for a specific amount and dismissing everyone below that metric just feels so tacky.