Why Doesn't Anyone Ever Feel Rich (Or Even Happy)?

[Amanda]

This popped up on my FB today.

Why indeed. My guess is that he's just talking to the wrong people. The people in the ultra-rich group are self-selected as restless, discontent strivers.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-doesnt-anyone-ever-feel-rich-even-happy-jeff-haden

[DesireeD]

I feel rich and happy.

[Ryo]

Perfect examples of people who should read some of MMM's more philosophically-oriented postings.

[PhysicianOnFIRE]

He was clearly talking to people who will never be happy.  How many of them were retired again?  Oh yeah... zero. 

Next time, talk to the table of old men drinking coffee at McDonalds at 9:45 a.m. on a Tuesday.  I'll bet most of them are happier than the lot from the article.

[arebelspy]

I feel rich and happy.

+1!

Life is amazing and wonderful.

He's talking to the wrong people.  How sad for him, and them.

:)

[runningthroughFIRE]

He was clearly talking to people who will never be happy.  How many of them were retired again?  Oh yeah... zero. 

Next time, talk to the table of old men drinking coffee at McDonalds at 9:45 a.m. on a Tuesday.  I'll bet most of them are happier than the lot from the article.

Being retired isn't enough to automagically make you happy.  It's your outlook on life, not your physical state, that makes you happy.  I have retired neighbors who are frequently upset because they don't feel like they're doing anything with their lives anymore.

[MgoSam]

If you think that being rich is the sole determinant of being happy, then you likely are going to be a miserable s.o.b., regardless of financial status.

[golden1]

We are wired for survival, not happiness.  One of the reasons why our species of primate became so wildly successful on this planet is because we aren't happy with the way things are, and we have the brainpower to imagine more. 

[I'm a red panda]

I don't think most people would consider me rich, but I have enough, and as it's been said "enough is good as a feast".  Globally I'm definitely rich (almost all Americans are), and I think most of the time I recognize it, so I feel rich.

Happy, well, most of the time. But right now is rough. Money can't fix that.

[sol]

I feel rich and happy.

+1!

+2

[Fi(re) on the Farm]

I feel rich and happy.

Yeah, me too!

+1!

+2

[FIPurpose]

I feel like there is a similar trap to consuming media. Why don't I ever feel satisfied with the amount of TV or podcasts I consume? Why do I always have to find another show to fill my time? There is something there to say that when we don't have purposeful things to fill our lives, we tend to fill it with other vapid things, and for many people money can become that. For myself, I have to make sure I don't do the same thing but with something other than my money.

[Gone Fishing]

Perfect example of chasing the wrong things, sounds like they need to volunteer a bit at the homeless shelter...

[acroy]

State of mind
They can if they want :)

[Magilla]

We are wired for survival, not happiness.  One of the reasons why our species of primate became so wildly successful on this planet is because we aren't happy with the way things are, and we have the brainpower to imagine more.

This is a very important point that people in this community often gloss over.  While crass consumerism is definitely something to shun, I don't think being "happy" all the time is something to aim for either.  We wouldn't be anywhere without that drive of striving for something better all the time.  If that's all you want then you can just set yourself up with a drip IV of some happy juice and be set and civilization would devolve at best into Brave New World or worse.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm not pursuing this path to feel "rich" or "happy" but to be free to do what I want with my time, be that nothing or work 24/7 on something I want.

[zephyr911]

I feel rich and happy.

Me too! Every time DW stresses over something that breaks, or like yesterday, when I brought her daily coffee in bed and she spilled it on our beautiful comforter - OH NOEZ, $20 CLEANING BILL! - I just say "hey, good thing we're rich!"

We're not really, yet, but I'd say we've achieved "position of strength" status. Finances are no longer the primary driver of daily decisions, aside from employment. And that's not even really about what we have, it's more about living well below our means so surprises are easily taken in stride.

[tobitonic]

He was clearly talking to people who will never be happy.  How many of them were retired again?  Oh yeah... zero. 

Next time, talk to the table of old men drinking coffee at McDonalds at 9:45 a.m. on a Tuesday.  I'll bet most of them are happier than the lot from the article.

Being retired isn't enough to automagically make you happy.  It's your outlook on life, not your physical state, that makes you happy.  I have retired neighbors who are frequently upset because they don't feel like they're doing anything with their lives anymore.

Yup. Happiness research suggests Freud was right with his "love and work" ideas (as were loads of folks before him). The love doesn't have to be romantic, but it does have to be a sense of connection to things beyond yourself (like people, pets, etc). And the work bit doesn't have to be a day job, but it does have to be something that brings you purpose (e.g., helping others).

[MrsPete]

I feel rich and happy.

Me too. 

[MrsPete]

Being retired isn't enough to automagically make you happy.  It's your outlook on life, not your physical state, that makes you happy.  I have retired neighbors who are frequently upset because they don't feel like they're doing anything with their lives anymore.

I've run into two old co-workers in the last couple days, and they both looked happy and healthy!  Both commented on how much they're loving retirement.  Of course, they also both chatted about projects and hobbies in which they're involved.  It goes back to that saying, Don't retire from something ... retire to something.That is, stay involved in life. 

[Squirrel away]

I feel happy, and by most standards I am rich.:)

[zephyr911]

Don't retire from something ... retire to something.That is, stay involved in life.

My plan is all about that.

[Troy McClure]

I feel happy, and by most standards I am rich.:)

I am rich most standards but am not happy. Much like the late, great Terry Pratchett, I am angry. I am angry at a political systems that erode dignity and self-respect. I am angry at people who don't value the people and friendships with which they have been blessed. I am angry at a great many things. And that rage drives. It drives me to focus on FI. It drives me to fix the things that are broken. It makes me want to help my neighbors achieve their dreams. It makes we want to replace ignorance with knowledge and, if lucky, wisdom and discernment. Especially my own ignorance.

... but well done on your contentedness but I implore you not to get too happy and save a little bit fury for strategic future deployment at the injustices in the world. :D

[Roboturner]

Not there yet on either, but im working towards FI, so I will be there soon

[arebelspy]

I feel happy, and by most standards I am rich.:)

I am rich most standards but am not happy. Much like the late, great Terry Pratchett, I am angry. I am angry at a political systems that erode dignity and self-respect. I am angry at people who don't value the people and friendships with which they have been blessed. I am angry at a great many things. And that rage drives. It drives me to focus on FI. It drives me to fix the things that are broken. It makes me want to help my neighbors achieve their dreams. It makes we want to replace ignorance with knowledge and, if lucky, wisdom and discernment. Especially my own ignorance.

... but well done on your contentedness but I implore you not to get too happy and save a little bit fury for strategic future deployment at the injustices in the world. :D

I understand.

The only small difference is that the emotion that causes me to fight against injustices is love, rather than rage.

[Troy McClure]

I understand.

The only small difference is that the emotion that causes me to fight against injustices is love, rather than rage.

I frequently see this sentiment float about. I believe it comes from one of two places.

• People are genuinely moved to fight injustice by the same emotion that drives them to embrace a child.
• Anger is somehow 'bad' and love is 'good' and we don't want to have 'bad' emotions in our life.

I don't know you from a stranger in the street so I won't make any assumptions as to which camp you might be living in. In general, I find the former not only more rare but the more palatable. Nevertheless, if you'll join in the struggle and not allow happiness to slide into inaction, I'm pleased to hear it! :-D

[zephyr911]

I understand.

The only small difference is that the emotion that causes me to fight against injustices is love, rather than rage.

Yeah, me too. Rage doesn't last long. Love is enduring and sustaining.

My mom recently sent me this book (required reading where she works), and the fantasies about tracking down sex traffickers and chopping off their balls lasted about five minutes... the heightened sense of compassion for those affected will last forever, and I plan on doing some real things to help when I've hit my investing goals.

When I talk about legacies, that's the kind of thing I imagine - leaving something that will help people after I'm gone, for as long as possible. That's love. Rage can get you started but it never builds things like that.

[runningthroughFIRE]

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate....leads to suffering.

Anger can be a powerful driving force, but it's often a blade without a handle.  I'm still quite young by most standards, but I've already seen a fair number of good people fight for one cause at the unnecessary expense of another, losing sight of the bigger picture.  From what few words you've shared I'm sure this isn't an issue for you, but it can be a fine line, and one that I prefer not to walk.

[bobechs]

I'm not rich.  I'm not retired.

The happiness seems to come and go, ditto the rage.

But if I were richer I'd definitely be retired.

[MandalayVA]

What's even sadder is the large number of "great article!" comments this got.

/rich and happy

[Norioch]

I feel very rich.

[Trudie]

It's a matter of perspective.  By the world's standards, in which there is abhorrent abject poverty, just the fact that we have a roof over our heads, a car or two, food in the fridge, and clean tap water (well, most of us anyway) makes us rich.  Then you throw in disposable income, fancy wine and cheese parties, retirement accounts, and occasionally being able to vacation and we live in the freakin' lap of luxury.

We all whine and lament, but stepping back and considering the bigger picture helps.

I feel pretty unencumbered and happy most of the time... and yes, rich.

[HappierAtHome]

Another vote for totally rich and happy, over here.

[arebelspy]

The funny thing is, many of us who're saying we're rich and happy most people wouldn't count as "rich."  But we're rich enough, for us.  :)

[faramund]

The funny thing is, many of us who're saying we're rich and happy most people wouldn't count as "rich."  But we're rich enough, for us.  :)

When you're saying most people, what do you mean? Brazil pretty much has the average income, that matches up to the average of worldwide income. So.. does the average Brazilian think the average person on this forum is rich? I suspect the answer is yes.

[arebelspy]

The funny thing is, many of us who're saying we're rich and happy most people wouldn't count as "rich."  But we're rich enough, for us.  :)

When you're saying most people, what do you mean? Brazil pretty much has the average income, that matches up to the average of worldwide income. So.. does the average Brazilian think the average person on this forum is rich? I suspect the answer is yes.

The people who read that article.

But no, I think most people's idea of "rich", including in Brazil, is a spending level way beyond what most the people who feel rich here exhibit.

[Squirrel away]

I feel happy, and by most standards I am rich.:)

I am rich most standards but am not happy. Much like the late, great Terry Pratchett, I am angry. I am angry at a political systems that erode dignity and self-respect. I am angry at people who don't value the people and friendships with which they have been blessed. I am angry at a great many things. And that rage drives. It drives me to focus on FI. It drives me to fix the things that are broken. It makes me want to help my neighbors achieve their dreams. It makes we want to replace ignorance with knowledge and, if lucky, wisdom and discernment. Especially my own ignorance.

... but well done on your contentedness but I implore you not to get too happy and save a little bit fury for strategic future deployment at the injustices in the world. :D

I used to be very angry when I was younger and I know it can be very self destructive.

[zephyr911]

It's a matter of perspective.  By the world's standards, in which there is abhorrent abject poverty, just the fact that we have a roof over our heads, a car or two, food in the fridge, and clean tap water (well, most of us anyway) makes us rich.  Then you throw in disposable income, fancy wine and cheese parties, retirement accounts, and occasionally being able to vacation and we live in the freakin' lap of luxury.

We all whine and lament, but stepping back and considering the bigger picture helps.

I feel pretty unencumbered and happy most of the time... and yes, rich.

IOW, Stoicism.

[FINate]

Most people don't feel rich or happy because they have an unhealthy perspective on money. Daniel Kahneman writes, rather matter of factly, in his book Thinking Fast and Slow:

Except for the very poor, for whom income coincides with survival, the main motivators of money-seeking are not necessarily economic. For the billionaire looking for the extra billion, and indeed for the participant in an experimental economics project looking for the extra dollar, money is a proxy for points on a scale of self-regard and achievement.

Problem is, no matter how much you accumulate, there will always be people who have more so this philosophy pretty much guarantees unhappiness. I'm convinced that the few who find true happiness (I prefer "contentment") realize that a certain amount of money is essential, but beyond that purpose must come through something deeper and more meaningful.

[Ducky]

Not rich but always pretty happy :)

[MgoSam]

Except for the very poor, for whom income coincides with survival, the main motivators of money-seeking are not necessarily economic. For the billionaire looking for the extra billion, and indeed for the participant in an experimental economics project looking for the extra dollar, money is a proxy for points on a scale of self-regard and achievement.

I can completely understand this. I know that when I get a big order I feel great, but then later I want an even bigger one. It's important to be aware that this desire might occur and think through it, rather than letting it discourage you.

[obstinate]

He was clearly talking to people who will never be happy.  How many of them were retired again?  Oh yeah... zero. 

Next time, talk to the table of old men drinking coffee at McDonalds at 9:45 a.m. on a Tuesday.  I'll bet most of them are happier than the lot from the article.

Being retired isn't enough to automagically make you happy.

You're technically correct, which is the best kind of correct. But actually retiring has been found to have a significant, positive, causal effect on happiness in studies. It doesn't fix everyone's happiness, but it helps for most people.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-secret-to-a-happier-healthier-life-just-retire-2015-07-27

[Cassie]

Definitely happy and very satisfied with my life.

[coin]

The funny thing is, many of us who're saying we're rich and happy most people wouldn't count as "rich."  But we're rich enough, for us.  :)

Rich in love and good company?

[Kat57]

Happiness is often...an after taste.  Something realized on hindsight. We sometimes struggle to realze the happiness in moments but will feel it later in memory.  The daily pattern, working or FIRE, becomes normal. Our imagination about some future happiness often does not produce the expected feeling. 

I am 59 and FIRE. A solid middle class existence, minus the job.  Nobody would look at my life and think I am wealthy but that is because I am not into consumption.  The money gives me peace of mind, nothing more. When my alternator goes out, I can get it replaced. I have time to help other people. I read lots of books. I can take the boat out on a random Tuesday and not come back till my clean clothes run out.

But every day of the week feels the same. Weekends are just like weekdays. I regularly forget what day of the week it is.  Probably this us how life felt before industrial age employment was the norm. 

Yes, I am rich and happy.

[zephyr911]

He was clearly talking to people who will never be happy.  How many of them were retired again?  Oh yeah... zero. 

Next time, talk to the table of old men drinking coffee at McDonalds at 9:45 a.m. on a Tuesday.  I'll bet most of them are happier than the lot from the article.

Being retired isn't enough to automagically make you happy.

You're technically correct, which is the best kind of correct. But actually retiring has been found to have a significant, positive, causal effect on happiness in studies. It doesn't fix everyone's happiness, but it helps for most people.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-secret-to-a-happier-healthier-life-just-retire-2015-07-27

Even if "automagically" was just an accident, I'm going to assume it was a super clever invented word. <3