Author Topic: Whole foods asparagus water  (Read 8844 times)

dragoncar

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Whole foods asparagus water
« on: August 05, 2015, 08:26:53 AM »


Yeah

Matt_D

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Cromacster

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2015, 08:59:18 AM »
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/whole-foods-removes-6-asparagus-water-from-store-shelves/

From the Article
Quote
"It was meant to be water with the essence of vegetables and/or mushrooms (similar to bone broth), which is typically made over a long period of time soaking in water," Burkhart explained. "It was made incorrectly and has since been removed."

It was supposed to have 4 sprigs of asparagus not 3.  I bet whoever was on QC that day lost their job....

Khaetra

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2015, 09:05:27 AM »
Umm, no thanks.

onehair

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2015, 09:40:58 AM »
what are the supposed benefits of this asparagus water?  I like asparagus properly cooked and I like water hopefully clean lol but what is combining the two supposed to od other than waste water and lighten your wallet?

Cromacster

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2015, 09:43:12 AM »
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/whole-foods-removes-6-asparagus-water-from-store-shelves/

From the Article
Quote
"It was meant to be water with the essence of vegetables and/or mushrooms (similar to bone broth), which is typically made over a long period of time soaking in water," Burkhart explained. "It was made incorrectly and has since been removed."

It was supposed to have 4 sprigs of asparagus not 3.  I bet whoever was on QC that day lost their job....

Does anyone make vegetable broth by just soaking veggies in cold water? Because I always heat mine, or it doesn't work.

Yea, I think that's one of the reason this story was making the rounds on the internet.  It's not really good for anything.  It was just a vegetable in a jar, with water.  I suppose if people buy it and whole foods makes a profit, great for them.  It does make me wonder who would buy it though.

ducky19

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2015, 12:12:22 PM »
I think it's used for if your piss doesn't smell funny enough.

sheepstache

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2015, 12:20:10 PM »
Don't forget, it's unpasteurized asparagus water, so it's super healthy.

laughing_paddler

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2015, 12:31:39 PM »
I've heard there's a belief out there that the smellies come from detoxing effects that asparagus has (according to this article http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-asparagus-makes-your-urine-smell-49961252/?no-ist, it has to do with a certain chemical being broken down, detoxification effects aren't mentioned) so maybe they're making the leap to 'detoxing water'?

Whatever their reasons for "making" this product, it's ridiculous.

zephyr911

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2015, 01:24:17 PM »
I've heard there's a belief out there that the smellies come from detoxing effects that asparagus has (according to this article http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-asparagus-makes-your-urine-smell-49961252/?no-ist, it has to do with a certain chemical being broken down, detoxification effects aren't mentioned) so maybe they're making the leap to 'detoxing water'?

Whatever their reasons for "making" this product, it's ridiculous.
That's really dumb. If it were detoxing you, the smell would vary significantly between people (and over time). It doesn't.

LiveLean

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2015, 01:38:13 PM »
I still think this came out of a wager in the Whole Foods marketing department.

"Hey, since our customers will pay ridiculous sums for anything we put out there, let's come up with the most outrageous product we can for $5.99."

"Okay, how about four pieces of broccoli in a mason jar of water? We'll bill it as some sort of veggie superwater."

"I like it. But let's make it asparagus as an f-you to Michael Pollan. Remember how he bashed us in the Omnivore's Dilemma for flying our asparagus in from Peru, saying the jet fuel used wasn't exactly in keeping with our all-organic, save-the-world philosophy?"

"Asparagus water. Let's do it!"

trailrated

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2015, 01:58:02 PM »
I guess it would be ok if it was made without gluten and if they used free range, cage free asparagus.

jinga nation

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2015, 02:41:03 PM »
I think WF has a department that monitors social media for the hot fads, then creates the products to support the fads. I'd love to work in that dept.

eljefe-speaks

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2015, 02:59:55 PM »
I've been to fancy restaurants that put cucumber in your icewater and it's delicious! Not gonna pay extra for any such thing though.

Hamster

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2015, 04:41:50 PM »
I've heard there's a belief out there that the smellies come from detoxing effects that asparagus has (according to this article http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-asparagus-makes-your-urine-smell-49961252/?no-ist, it has to do with a certain chemical being broken down, detoxification effects aren't mentioned) so maybe they're making the leap to 'detoxing water'?

Whatever their reasons for "making" this product, it's ridiculous.
That's really dumb. If it were detoxing you, the smell would vary significantly between people (and over time). It doesn't.
If  'detoxing'* was actually real, that would be really cool, too.

*there are a few very specific exceptions - chelating heavy metals (which is also abused as pseudo-science/pseudo medicine by some practitioners) and a few very specific methods of removing very specific toxins.

Spork

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #15 on: August 05, 2015, 05:47:45 PM »

I sort of understand the group of people they're trying to cash in on.  They just implemented it poorly.  It's the same people that buy almond milk -- which is mostly water, sugar (or artificial sweetener) and about 2% or less actual almonds.

phillystash

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #16 on: August 05, 2015, 07:32:17 PM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense
« Last Edit: August 05, 2015, 07:37:46 PM by phillystash »

AlanStache

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #17 on: August 05, 2015, 08:03:19 PM »
Picture has to be fake, if it were real the label would have to include a random selection from this list. 
"Free Range"
"Organic"
"GMO free"
"Paleo Approved"
"Naturally No Chemicals"
"Fair Trade Import"
"Locally Sourced"
"Not Tested on Animals"
"Dolphin Free"

Are we still doing "dolphin free", I find caned tuna fish discussing-so dont know?

Mississippi Mudstache

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #18 on: August 05, 2015, 08:20:07 PM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

fb132

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #19 on: August 05, 2015, 08:22:29 PM »
Whole Foods should also release footages of people actually buying this crap and maybe the media can interview them and ask them "Why?"

Spork

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #20 on: August 06, 2015, 06:29:15 AM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Exactly.   The problem with almond milk is that its a ripoff, not that it's a milk replacement.  It's water and a slurry of other junk you probably would never eat.  Almonds: not so much. 

AlanStache

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #21 on: August 06, 2015, 07:14:27 AM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Exactly.   The problem with almond milk is that its a ripoff, not that it's a milk replacement.  It's water and a slurry of other junk you probably would never eat.  Almonds: not so much.

I think this tread is about to jump the shark and get stupid, dropping out.


ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #22 on: August 06, 2015, 07:29:42 AM »
I've heard there's a belief out there that the smellies come from detoxing effects that asparagus has (according to this article http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-asparagus-makes-your-urine-smell-49961252/?no-ist, it has to do with a certain chemical being broken down, detoxification effects aren't mentioned) so maybe they're making the leap to 'detoxing water'?

Whatever their reasons for "making" this product, it's ridiculous.
That's really dumb. If it were detoxing you, the smell would vary significantly between people (and over time). It doesn't.

...How many people's asparagus pee have you smelled?

Spork

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #23 on: August 06, 2015, 08:48:51 AM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Exactly.   The problem with almond milk is that its a ripoff, not that it's a milk replacement.  It's water and a slurry of other junk you probably would never eat.  Almonds: not so much.

I think this tread is about to jump the shark and get stupid, dropping out.

Funny:  I thought it intentionally started stupid. 

dragoncar

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #24 on: August 06, 2015, 12:04:28 PM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Exactly.   The problem with almond milk is that its a ripoff, not that it's a milk replacement.  It's water and a slurry of other junk you probably would never eat.  Almonds: not so much.

I think this tread is about to jump the shark and get stupid, dropping out.

Funny:  I thought it intentionally started stupid.

Yeah but that was, like, ironical.  It was a joke.  A prank.  A social experiment.  For YouTube and such.  Bro

Eric

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #25 on: August 06, 2015, 02:37:58 PM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

[insert dirty joke here]


taekvideo

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #26 on: August 06, 2015, 09:48:42 PM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Water in cereal tastes like crap, that's the main thing I buy soy milk for.
Soy milk of course doesn't have the same problem as almond milk, it has a lot more actual nuts in it (hence the dramatically higher protein content compared to almond milk).
I do occasionally get dark chocolate almond milk though as a treat, which is just pure amazing.

Pooperman

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #27 on: August 07, 2015, 11:11:23 AM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Water in cereal tastes like crap, that's the main thing I buy soy milk for.
Soy milk of course doesn't have the same problem as almond milk, it has a lot more actual nuts in it (hence the dramatically higher protein content compared to almond milk).
I do occasionally get dark chocolate almond milk though as a treat, which is just pure amazing.

So basically liquid Nutella.:D

minimalist

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #28 on: August 07, 2015, 11:21:42 AM »

Mississippi Mudstache

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #29 on: August 07, 2015, 11:46:23 AM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Water in cereal tastes like crap, that's the main thing I buy soy milk for.
Soy milk of course doesn't have the same problem as almond milk, it has a lot more actual nuts in it (hence the dramatically higher protein content compared to almond milk).
I do occasionally get dark chocolate almond milk though as a treat, which is just pure amazing.

Oh, I have no objections to soy milk. My objection to almond milk the idea of wasting most of the nutritional content of precious, incredibly resource-intense almonds as alluded to in minimalist's link.

dragoncar

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #30 on: August 07, 2015, 11:48:48 AM »
Actually a lot of people who buy almond milk are those who would just rather a cow was not rape racked to have a calf so they can lactate  and have the calf taken away to make veal or another dairy cow and repeat until they die about 15 years earlier than they have to just so people can drink cows milk and eat their flesh. It is better to just buy any nut in bulk and blend it with a couple cups of water as a replacement but whatever.  But back to original post, seriously asparagus water makes no sense

If you think dairy cows live a rough life, you've never been to a dairy farm. But more to the point, if you have ethical objections to dairy, then drink some fucking water instead of trying to squeeze milk out of your nuts.

Water in cereal tastes like crap, that's the main thing I buy soy milk for.
Soy milk of course doesn't have the same problem as almond milk, it has a lot more actual nuts in it (hence the dramatically higher protein content compared to almond milk).
I do occasionally get dark chocolate almond milk though as a treat, which is just pure amazing.

Oh, I have no objections to soy milk. My objection to almond milk the idea of wasting most of the nutritional content of precious, incredibly resource-intense almonds as alluded to in minimalist's link.


trailrated

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Re: Whole foods asparagus water
« Reply #31 on: August 07, 2015, 11:54:16 AM »
If anyone wants to see other ridiculous shit from Whole Foods, this gallery is a gem.

http://thechive.com/2015/08/07/sometimes-whole-foods-goes-too-far-with-their-products-21-photos/