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Around the Internet => Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy => Topic started by: Salivanth on April 04, 2020, 07:33:38 PM

Title: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Salivanth on April 04, 2020, 07:33:38 PM
The longer I live the Moustachian lifestyle, the more it just seems normal, and I occasionally forget that the rest of the world doesn't live the same way. This has occasionally caused some moments of confusion. For instance, just last week, I asked my girlfriend (whom I don't live with, and won't see for a while thanks to Covid) how she was, given everything that's been going on. She said "Good. We've been ordering a lot of takeout, but mostly healthy stuff." I then proceeded to ask if she had enough food and if she needed help - because that's the first place my brain jumps to when I think "Ordering takeout multiple times per week" - they must have no other option! Surely they're almost out of supplies!

Fortunately I came to my senses before I said that second part...and then I thought you all might have some funny stories of that nature too.

When have you heard something, and suddenly (or, even better, after an amusing comedy of errors) remembered that you're the unusual one, and the other party is actually pretty normal in our current society?

Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Wrenchturner on April 04, 2020, 08:05:29 PM
Pretty much anytime saving or credit card debt comes up I have to hold my tongue, I find.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Travis on April 04, 2020, 08:45:08 PM
When I revealed that I cut my own hair.

"It's only $10!"

Yeah, every 2-4 weeks. Multiplied by the 10 years I've been doing it...

Had a similar discussion when I revealed among a large group of people I was the only one without a car payment.  And that dropping a $1000 repair on a $2500 car still made financial sense to me.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Frankies Girl on April 04, 2020, 09:21:44 PM
When I was still working, about the last year I was still in the office I'd discovered the joys of thrift shopping for clothes/shoes/cool accessories.

I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck. 
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: DaMa on April 04, 2020, 09:59:33 PM
Friend:  Want to go shopping?
Me:  No, I don't need anything.
Friend:  Just to hang out and have fun?
Me:  (Awkwardly)  No, that's not my idea of fun.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: The_Big_H on April 04, 2020, 10:23:33 PM
any conversation about biking to work usually reminds me that this whole FIRE thing is a bit of social deviancy

* "isn't that dangerous?" usually said by a coworker who regularly drives 20-40 miles in highway traffic/stroads often in pouring rain (florida) and under construction vs my mostly trails/residential roads.
* "what will you do when it rains" (as if rain jackets hafnt been invented)
* "well I couldn't do that, I live too far" (you are right, but last I checked there are houses, condos, townhomes, and apartments all between point A and B, many of them affordable, many with just fine schools....

That leads me to the second one, I don't know if this is all FIRE people, but I generally don't CARE all that much about the exact school rating/grade/number or whatever statistic used to show how "great the schools are in suburb X"...  and I have kids.  Most my coworkers OBSESS over all this.  I'm kinda like meh.  and any conversation I have with them where I espouse location to work and walkability/bikability as being higher consideration than school rating, again with kids will DEFINETLY get somes awkward looks.

I like to joke, the only difference between <notoriously RICH suburban magnet/AP/superstat HS> and <notoriously bad poor inner city HS> is the QUALITY of the drugs, not the QUANTITY.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Travis on April 04, 2020, 10:40:06 PM
any conversation about biking to work usually reminds me that this whole FIRE thing is a bit of social deviancy

* "isn't that dangerous?" usually said by a coworker who regularly drives 20-40 miles in highway traffic/stroads often in pouring rain (florida) and under construction vs my mostly trails/residential roads.
* "what will you do when it rains" (as if rain jackets hafnt been invented)
* "well I couldn't do that, I live too far" (you are right, but last I checked there are houses, condos, townhomes, and apartments all between point A and B, many of them affordable, many with just fine schools....

That leads me to the second one, I don't know if this is all FIRE people, but I generally don't CARE all that much about the exact school rating/grade/number or whatever statistic used to show how "great the schools are in suburb X"...  and I have kids.  Most my coworkers OBSESS over all this.  I'm kinda like meh.  and any conversation I have with them where I espouse location to work and walkability/bikability as being higher consideration than school rating, again with kids will DEFINETLY get somes awkward looks.

I like to joke, the only difference between <notoriously RICH suburban magnet/AP/superstat HS> and <notoriously bad poor inner city HS> is the QUALITY of the drugs, not the QUANTITY.

I've had the school score debate during our many moves around the country. It turns out that a 5/10 elementary school is still really damn good.

My choice to ride a bike to work this year now looks brilliant with several base entrances shut down and longer waits to drive through.  I can take my bike through the pedestrian gate getting me to work in half the time it would take to drive. 

When I was still working, about the last year I was still in the office I'd discovered the joys of thrift shopping for clothes/shoes/cool accessories.

I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck. 

I own one suit. I pieced it together from Goodwill, Ross, Target, and Burlington Coat Factory. My coworkers who never wear suits thought it was a boss move. I did not bring it up around my sister's lawyer friends. They might not let me hang out with them anymore.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Kris on April 05, 2020, 07:26:33 AM
Not strictly mustachian, but: I had to use Instagram for the first time on behalf of an organization. Apparently, it is designed so you can't make posts from a computer; you have to download the phone app (where it's easier to build in addictive reinforcements!) You also can't share links in posts, which seems antithetical to the entire social media ethos.

I did not get a warm reception for my rants about its user-unfriendly design.

You can actually use IG on a computer. I hate IG, too, but have to use it for work, so I googled how to do this. It’s pretty easy. (Note, I am on a Mac, but I can’t imagine there isn’t a similar way on PC.)
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: iris lily on April 05, 2020, 07:31:48 AM
Not strictly mustachian, but: I had to use Instagram for the first time on behalf of an organization. Apparently, it is designed so you can't make posts from a computer; you have to download the phone app (where it's easier to build in addictive reinforcements!) You also can't share links in posts, which seems antithetical to the entire social media ethos.

I did not get a warm reception for my rants about its user-unfriendly design.

I know! The closed-box nature of some of those social applications make me crazy.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: ExitViaTheCashRamp on April 05, 2020, 12:17:29 PM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: skp on April 05, 2020, 12:22:38 PM
I was telling people at work about our new puppy.  The new puppy is chewing everything in site including my couch.  Fortunately, I said it doesn't matter much, it really does need replaced.  It's 40 years old. 
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: bigchrisb on April 05, 2020, 12:45:25 PM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

I didn't get this for years either - I used to live in Australia in a fairly sunny area.  While winters did get cold(ish), they still had blue sky and sun.  I currently live in the Netherlands, and after 6 months of grey, I would happily just sit in the sun and warm weather for a week!  How situation can change views!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: The_Big_H on April 05, 2020, 12:50:11 PM
any conversation about biking to work usually reminds me that this whole FIRE thing is a bit of social deviancy

* "isn't that dangerous?" usually said by a coworker who regularly drives 20-40 miles in highway traffic/stroads often in pouring rain (florida) and under construction vs my mostly trails/residential roads.
* "what will you do when it rains" (as if rain jackets hafnt been invented)
* "well I couldn't do that, I live too far" (you are right, but last I checked there are houses, condos, townhomes, and apartments all between point A and B, many of them affordable, many with just fine schools....

That leads me to the second one, I don't know if this is all FIRE people, but I generally don't CARE all that much about the exact school rating/grade/number or whatever statistic used to show how "great the schools are in suburb X"...  and I have kids.  Most my coworkers OBSESS over all this.  I'm kinda like meh.  and any conversation I have with them where I espouse location to work and walkability/bikability as being higher consideration than school rating, again with kids will DEFINETLY get somes awkward looks.

I like to joke, the only difference between <notoriously RICH suburban magnet/AP/superstat HS> and <notoriously bad poor inner city HS> is the QUALITY of the drugs, not the QUANTITY.

I've had the school score debate during our many moves around the country. It turns out that a 5/10 elementary school is still really damn good.

My choice to ride a bike to work this year now looks brilliant with several base entrances shut down and longer waits to drive through.  I can take my bike through the pedestrian gate getting me to work in half the time it would take to drive. 


Ive come to believe that a good deal of that score is tinged with the "perceived class level" of the student body.  People who think they are rich or "made it" don't want their kids to go to school with too many "those" kids.  I for one would rather my kid go to a place that has a reasonably diverse range of children both social-economic and cultural/race.  This effect is REALLY pronounced with a pretty fair number of the "we chose private school" types at least in my area.  Last thing I need is for my kid to get the idea that its completely normal for a 16 year old to have a new lexus/BMW as their first car.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: gooki on April 06, 2020, 03:21:29 AM
Not strictly mustachian, but: I had to use Instagram for the first time on behalf of an organization. Apparently, it is designed so you can't make posts from a computer; you have to download the phone app (where it's easier to build in addictive reinforcements!) You also can't share links in posts, which seems antithetical to the entire social media ethos.

I did not get a warm reception for my rants about its user-unfriendly design.

I'm a user interface designer by trade. I feel your pain, Instagram is a cluster fuck for first time users.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Imma on April 06, 2020, 03:43:16 AM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

I didn't get this for years either - I used to live in Australia in a fairly sunny area.  While winters did get cold(ish), they still had blue sky and sun.  I currently live in the Netherlands, and after 6 months of grey, I would happily just sit in the sun and warm weather for a week!  How situation can change views!

Funny, I'm in the Netherlands and to me, we've had an incredibly sunny and warm couple of weeks! But I guess our level of sunny is nothing compared to Australian sunny. We haven't had much of a winter, just a really long autumn, so I was happy when the weather got better a few weeks ago.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: bigchrisb on April 06, 2020, 04:00:42 AM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

I didn't get this for years either - I used to live in Australia in a fairly sunny area.  While winters did get cold(ish), they still had blue sky and sun.  I currently live in the Netherlands, and after 6 months of grey, I would happily just sit in the sun and warm weather for a week!  How situation can change views!

Funny, I'm in the Netherlands and to me, we've had an incredibly sunny and warm couple of weeks! But I guess our level of sunny is nothing compared to Australian sunny. We haven't had much of a winter, just a really long autumn, so I was happy when the weather got better a few weeks ago.

Yep, the last week or two has been lovely!  The general winter weather we have really struggled with (the grey, not the cold!).  Reinforces that its all relative!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: jinga nation on April 06, 2020, 08:12:10 AM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: remizidae on April 06, 2020, 01:35:09 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: jinga nation on April 06, 2020, 06:40:52 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.
Muting isn't effective when those same muppets privately DM me to check the group to respond because I haven't read the message (those 2 blue check marks).

Can't offend those who are disconnected from reality, have servants and drivers, and live a life of leisure (upper class in a developing nation).

Unfortunately I can't stop using whatsapp since I use it for good close family, and some very close friend chat groups. And my cycling and gym groups.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Travis on April 06, 2020, 10:12:57 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.

His cousins are vocally upset at his retirement plans and he should be concerned about coming across as offensive?
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: saguaro on April 07, 2020, 09:58:23 AM
Had a similar discussion when I revealed among a large group of people I was the only one without a car payment.  And that dropping a $1000 repair on a $2500 car still made financial sense to me.

Raises hand...yep that was us.  We went 16 years with both of our Saturns and we did make some pretty expensive repairs but they were normal wear and tear type repairs plus extended the life of both cars considerably.    I forget how many people told us just to get a new car because of low interest rates, get the latest technology, etc. etc.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: DaMa on April 07, 2020, 10:50:08 AM
Had a similar discussion when I revealed among a large group of people I was the only one without a car payment.  And that dropping a $1000 repair on a $2500 car still made financial sense to me.

Raises hand...yep that was us.  We went 16 years with both of our Saturns and we did make some pretty expensive repairs but they were normal wear and tear type repairs plus extended the life of both cars considerably.    I forget how many people told us just to get a new car because of low interest rates, get the latest technology, etc. etc.

My dad had a 14 yr old Dodge Ram with 38,000 miles on it.  Mint condition.  It started needing some things replaced -- nothing major, but dad felt nickled-and-dimed.  So he says he's getting a new truck.  I tried to tell him he could put a new engine and a new transmission in his truck for a fraction of the cost.  But no.  He spent $40k on a new one. 

And he hated it.  Didn't ride as well or drive as well.  He's had 2 more since and wishes he'd kept the first one.  What a waste.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: daverobev on April 07, 2020, 01:42:37 PM
Had a similar discussion when I revealed among a large group of people I was the only one without a car payment.  And that dropping a $1000 repair on a $2500 car still made financial sense to me.

Raises hand...yep that was us.  We went 16 years with both of our Saturns and we did make some pretty expensive repairs but they were normal wear and tear type repairs plus extended the life of both cars considerably.    I forget how many people told us just to get a new car because of low interest rates, get the latest technology, etc. etc.

My dad had a 14 yr old Dodge Ram with 38,000 miles on it.  Mint condition.  It started needing some things replaced -- nothing major, but dad felt nickled-and-dimed.  So he says he's getting a new truck.  I tried to tell him he could put a new engine and a new transmission in his truck for a fraction of the cost.  But no.  He spent $40k on a new one. 

And he hated it.  Didn't ride as well or drive as well.  He's had 2 more since and wishes he'd kept the first one.  What a waste.

So just go and get a mint version of the same truck he liked so much!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: DaMa on April 07, 2020, 01:57:30 PM
Had a similar discussion when I revealed among a large group of people I was the only one without a car payment.  And that dropping a $1000 repair on a $2500 car still made financial sense to me.

Raises hand...yep that was us.  We went 16 years with both of our Saturns and we did make some pretty expensive repairs but they were normal wear and tear type repairs plus extended the life of both cars considerably.    I forget how many people told us just to get a new car because of low interest rates, get the latest technology, etc. etc.

My dad had a 14 yr old Dodge Ram with 38,000 miles on it.  Mint condition.  It started needing some things replaced -- nothing major, but dad felt nickled-and-dimed.  So he says he's getting a new truck.  I tried to tell him he could put a new engine and a new transmission in his truck for a fraction of the cost.  But no.  He spent $40k on a new one. 

And he hated it.  Didn't ride as well or drive as well.  He's had 2 more since and wishes he'd kept the first one.  What a waste.

So just go and get a mint version of the same truck he liked so much!

He would NEVER buy a used car!  Oh, the horror. 
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: magnet18 on April 09, 2020, 11:58:53 AM
On the same day

One co-worker:
Glad they extended the tax deadline, i still haven't done my 2018 taxes.  It's ok, the fees are really small.

Another:
Man just when I think I can handle my own investments this happens.  At least I've got all my money out so I'm not losing any more.

Me:
*Explodes internally*
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: TheGrimSqueaker on April 09, 2020, 12:09:43 PM
My big one is hearing people who are still employed (working from home, etc.) bitch because their lives have changed due to the virus. My life hasn't changed a bit: I get up, go to work, go home. OK, there are some masks and gloves involved, and I have been spending an extra hour or two a day providing emotional support to several other people. The result is that I don't get as much solo time as I need to chill at home and get things done around the house. Oh, and there are all the people who live paycheck to paycheck who have their hands out. That's a bit of a change. But I'm not missing the restaurants, bars, sports events, and public stuff except for national parks and museums. But for the most part it's business as usual.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: KathrinS on April 09, 2020, 12:59:41 PM
I'm self employed and today I was teaching one of my (wealthier, older, also self employed) clients online. He said 'oh, I'm going to lose £8000 in income a year due to this crisis'. This is probably 10% or less of his work. I laughed and said 'well, I'll lose more than that, I've lost half my work.' He immediately gasped and apologised and offered his condolences. Somehow my "it'll be fine" didn't seem to register with him, he was so shocked.

I wasn't sure how to respond in this situation. "Don't worry, I still have a 20% savings rate, even with only half my pay" somehow didn't seem quite right, not sure 'average' people can process that one. Maybe I should just stay really vague and not tell people about the drop in my income at all.


The same happened last week when the old lady I volunteer with told me her friend lost her job. I said jokingly that I still have half a job. The next time I dropped off food, she put £100 on her trolley, saying that I could take it if I'm in need.


Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: jinga nation on April 09, 2020, 01:24:05 PM
My big one is hearing people who are still employed (working from home, etc.) bitch because their lives have changed due to the virus. My life hasn't changed a bit: I get up, go to work, go home. OK, there are some masks and gloves involved, and I have been spending an extra hour or two a day providing emotional support to several other people. The result is that I don't get as much solo time as I need to chill at home and get things done around the house. Oh, and there are all the people who live paycheck to paycheck who have their hands out. That's a bit of a change. But I'm not missing the restaurants, bars, sports events, and public stuff except for national parks and museums. But for the most part it's business as usual.

They might be valid, but depends how well they handle it.

My wife and I have been made to WFH full-time during the pandemic. That's the easy part as we used to do this 1-2 days a week previously.
The hard part is that in addition to the workday, we are also surrogate substitute teachers to young K-2 kids who require supervision and focus. To add insult, the teachers are placing deadlines and grades on the homework. I have a 2nd grader sitting at the dining table and my wife has a K'er in her office room. We aren't trained to deal with kids from a teacher perspective, our spawn don't listen because mum&dad not equal to teacher, they want to play around thinking this is an extended spring break. Plus having to deal with work tasks, deadlines, etc.

My wife and I are spending less time now talking to each other on valid issues like our rental properties, investments, family members', etc. compared to pre-COVID19 times.
We wish we could go to the office, get tasks done, and get some relief from kids, but it isn't possible.

We've managed fine so far, but there are other parents who are stay-at-home and can't hack this. As I type this, my wife is on a parents-only video conference with the class teacher to iron out issues. This is end of week 2 of online schooling, technically week 3 since the first week was a trial online learning week. We have until May 1, at least for this situation, and it might go to end of May if schools don't open (District School Superintendent hinted this in a local NPR station interview).

I feel for those parents stuck at home as full-time employees AND being caregivers AND being educators. There's no respite in the short-term. I am one of them, I'm digging in and staying the course. This too shall pass.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Ladychips on April 09, 2020, 02:30:27 PM
The longer I live the Moustachian lifestyle, the more it just seems normal, and I occasionally forget that the rest of the world doesn't live the same way. This has occasionally caused some moments of confusion.

When have you heard something, and suddenly (or, even better, after an amusing comedy of errors) remembered that you're the unusual one, and the other party is actually pretty normal in our current society?

A few years ago I was having brunch at my house with several women work friends/colleagues.  Somehow the conversation turned to either grocery buying or credit cards (I don't remember which) and I said I put my groceries on my credit card (side note: we put almost EVERYTHING on our credit card and of course pay it off every month).  My friends/colleagues were HORRIFIED that I put my groceries on the credit card.  I could not understand why they were horrified.  Quite some time after they left, I realized that none of them must pay off their CC every month.  And then I realized they all think I'm stupid because I'm paying 24% interest (or whatever it is) on my groceries!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Kris on April 09, 2020, 02:32:09 PM
The longer I live the Moustachian lifestyle, the more it just seems normal, and I occasionally forget that the rest of the world doesn't live the same way. This has occasionally caused some moments of confusion.

When have you heard something, and suddenly (or, even better, after an amusing comedy of errors) remembered that you're the unusual one, and the other party is actually pretty normal in our current society?

A few years ago I was having brunch at my house with several women work friends/colleagues.  Somehow the conversation turned to either grocery buying or credit cards (I don't remember which) and I said I put my groceries on my credit card (side note: we put almost EVERYTHING on our credit card and of course pay it off every month).  My friends/colleagues were HORRIFIED that I put my groceries on the credit card.  I could not understand why they were horrified.  Quite some time after they left, I realized that none of them must pay off their CC every month.  And then I realized they all think I'm stupid because I'm paying 24% interest (or whatever it is) on my groceries!

Yep, I have had that exact same conversation, for the same reasons. It all makes sense when you realize most people don't pay off their CC balance so the interest rate actually matters to them. I have never in my life carried a balance, so I literally couldn't tell you what my interest rates are on any of my cards.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: charis on April 09, 2020, 05:18:36 PM
My big one is hearing people who are still employed (working from home, etc.) bitch because their lives have changed due to the virus. My life hasn't changed a bit: I get up, go to work, go home. OK, there are some masks and gloves involved, and I have been spending an extra hour or two a day providing emotional support to several other people. The result is that I don't get as much solo time as I need to chill at home and get things done around the house. Oh, and there are all the people who live paycheck to paycheck who have their hands out. That's a bit of a change. But I'm not missing the restaurants, bars, sports events, and public stuff except for national parks and museums. But for the most part it's business as usual.

They might be valid, but depends how well they handle it.

My wife and I have been made to WFH full-time during the pandemic. That's the easy part as we used to do this 1-2 days a week previously.
The hard part is that in addition to the workday, we are also surrogate substitute teachers to young K-2 kids who require supervision and focus. To add insult, the teachers are placing deadlines and grades on the homework. I have a 2nd grader sitting at the dining table and my wife has a K'er in her office room. We aren't trained to deal with kids from a teacher perspective, our spawn don't listen because mum&dad not equal to teacher, they want to play around thinking this is an extended spring break. Plus having to deal with work tasks, deadlines, etc.

My wife and I are spending less time now talking to each other on valid issues like our rental properties, investments, family members', etc. compared to pre-COVID19 times.
We wish we could go to the office, get tasks done, and get some relief from kids, but it isn't possible.

We've managed fine so far, but there are other parents who are stay-at-home and can't hack this. As I type this, my wife is on a parents-only video conference with the class teacher to iron out issues. This is end of week 2 of online schooling, technically week 3 since the first week was a trial online learning week. We have until May 1, at least for this situation, and it might go to end of May if schools don't open (District School Superintendent hinted this in a local NPR station interview).

I feel for those parents stuck at home as full-time employees AND being caregivers AND being educators. There's no respite in the short-term. I am one of them, I'm digging in and staying the course. This too shall pass.
+1
I'm not going to ashamed to admit that while I'm very lucky to be employed, adding elementary school teacher (and almost zero alone/adult time) to my full time job just plain sucks. None of my coworkers are in the same boat and I'm constantly pulled in several directions.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: ColoAndy on April 09, 2020, 07:19:23 PM
When I shared with another guy at my CrossFit gym that I was going to buy a new pair of Reebox CrossFit shoes.  He replied...while looking at my old New Balance shoes..."yeah, you've had those for a while now".  True, but not the reason I was looking at buying new shoes.  That remark is very common.  I have been told and have heard others be told to buy a new car or coat or (fill in the blank) simply because "you've had that one for a while now".
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Travis on April 09, 2020, 08:58:12 PM
When I shared with another guy at my CrossFit gym that I was going to buy a new pair of Reebox CrossFit shoes.  He replied...while looking at my old New Balance shoes..."yeah, you've had those for a while now".  True, but not the reason I was looking at buying new shoes.  That remark is very common.  I have been told and have heard others be told to buy a new car or coat or (fill in the blank) simply because "you've had that one for a while now".

At least with shoes there's the real possibility of them wearing out to a point of presenting a health hazard and not give an immediate indication that they're going in that direction.  I'm particular about my running shoes because I've developed injuries from keeping old shoes for too long.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: RetiredAt63 on April 10, 2020, 05:57:53 AM
When I shared with another guy at my CrossFit gym that I was going to buy a new pair of Reebox CrossFit shoes.  He replied...while looking at my old New Balance shoes..."yeah, you've had those for a while now".  True, but not the reason I was looking at buying new shoes.  That remark is very common.  I have been told and have heard others be told to buy a new car or coat or (fill in the blank) simply because "you've had that one for a while now".

At least with shoes there's the real possibility of them wearing out to a point of presenting a health hazard and not give an immediate indication that they're going in that direction.  I'm particular about my running shoes because I've developed injuries from keeping old shoes for too long.

I kept an old pair for painting shoes - when I wore them months later to paint they felt terrible on my feet compared to the new ones.  Shoes really do wear out.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: partgypsy on April 10, 2020, 10:42:25 AM
When I was still working, about the last year I was still in the office I'd discovered the joys of thrift shopping for clothes/shoes/cool accessories.

I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck.

I had the same thing happen, where someone complimented a dress I had and I said I had gotten it free through a SWAP (southern women against purchasing), which prompted a couple dirty looks. Next time I'll just say "thanks!"
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: remizidae on April 10, 2020, 03:35:30 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.

His cousins are vocally upset at his retirement plans and he should be concerned about coming across as offensive?

No need to sink to the level of the rudest person around.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: mm1970 on April 10, 2020, 05:14:17 PM
My big one is hearing people who are still employed (working from home, etc.) bitch because their lives have changed due to the virus. My life hasn't changed a bit: I get up, go to work, go home. OK, there are some masks and gloves involved, and I have been spending an extra hour or two a day providing emotional support to several other people. The result is that I don't get as much solo time as I need to chill at home and get things done around the house. Oh, and there are all the people who live paycheck to paycheck who have their hands out. That's a bit of a change. But I'm not missing the restaurants, bars, sports events, and public stuff except for national parks and museums. But for the most part it's business as usual.

They might be valid, but depends how well they handle it.

My wife and I have been made to WFH full-time during the pandemic. That's the easy part as we used to do this 1-2 days a week previously.
The hard part is that in addition to the workday, we are also surrogate substitute teachers to young K-2 kids who require supervision and focus. To add insult, the teachers are placing deadlines and grades on the homework. I have a 2nd grader sitting at the dining table and my wife has a K'er in her office room. We aren't trained to deal with kids from a teacher perspective, our spawn don't listen because mum&dad not equal to teacher, they want to play around thinking this is an extended spring break. Plus having to deal with work tasks, deadlines, etc.

My wife and I are spending less time now talking to each other on valid issues like our rental properties, investments, family members', etc. compared to pre-COVID19 times.
We wish we could go to the office, get tasks done, and get some relief from kids, but it isn't possible.

We've managed fine so far, but there are other parents who are stay-at-home and can't hack this. As I type this, my wife is on a parents-only video conference with the class teacher to iron out issues. This is end of week 2 of online schooling, technically week 3 since the first week was a trial online learning week. We have until May 1, at least for this situation, and it might go to end of May if schools don't open (District School Superintendent hinted this in a local NPR station interview).

I feel for those parents stuck at home as full-time employees AND being caregivers AND being educators. There's no respite in the short-term. I am one of them, I'm digging in and staying the course. This too shall pass.
+1
I'm not going to ashamed to admit that while I'm very lucky to be employed, adding elementary school teacher (and almost zero alone/adult time) to my full time job just plain sucks. None of my coworkers are in the same boat and I'm constantly pulled in several directions.
Yup.  At least my boss and a few coworkers also have children who are in school.

Just at my level in the company...almost everyone either has:
- kids who are older (11+) (all but two)
- a spouse who does not work (all but two)
- no kids

There is nobody with my combination of a FT working spouse, two kids, one of whom is only 7 years old and will  LITERALLY spend more time arguing about doing school than it would take to do school. COME ON dude, you have 2 hours of work a day.  2 hours.  You can watch all the Pokemon shows you want after that.  I swear.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Travis on April 10, 2020, 07:18:42 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.

His cousins are vocally upset at his retirement plans and he should be concerned about coming across as offensive?

No need to sink to the level of the rudest person around.

I'm rude? You said he was offending people by not wanting to be in the chat group.

And if you think my little comment makes me the rudest person around, you haven't spent much time in this forum.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: SwordGuy on April 10, 2020, 10:46:48 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.

His cousins are vocally upset at his retirement plans and he should be concerned about coming across as offensive?

No need to sink to the level of the rudest person around.

I'm rude? You said he was offending people by not wanting to be in the chat group.

And if you think my little comment makes me the rudest person around, you haven't spent much time in this forum.

Lol, they weren't calling YOU rude. They were just saying that the rude cousins don't justify a rude response.

Maybe yes, maybe no.   It all depends.

If it's out of character for them to be rude, let it go.

If it's routine for them to be rude, it's time to establish boundaries.  Those boundaries might be as gentle as

"I'll ignore it, they don't know better."
"I would appreciate it if you refrained from doing that again."
"You forgot to be polite, I expect you to do better next time."
"Be nice to me and mine or I'll show you up for the asshole you are."
"I don't want to hear from you again until you learn manners."
"Good riddance, I want nothing more to do with you."   
"Here's your restraining order.  Violate it at your peril."

Obviously, it's rarely appropriate to go to the upper end of the scale and even more rarely appropriate to leap to it.

It all depends.

What I have learned is that a repetitive, frequent pattern of INTENTIONAL rudeness is a form of willful abuse.  And no one should have to put up with that shit.   I've also learned that ignoring intentional rudeness/abuse is the functional equivalent to giving consent to further treatment like that.   "Silence implies consent" is the old maxim and it applies here.

Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: BTDretire on April 11, 2020, 10:19:14 AM
On the same day

One co-worker:
Glad they extended the tax deadline, i still haven't done my 2018 taxes.  It's ok, the fees are really small.

Another:
Man just when I think I can handle my own investments this happens.  At least I've got all my money out so I'm not losing any more.

 I'd like to hear when at what price he got out and what price he gets in for, if he ever does!

Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Wrenchturner on April 11, 2020, 02:10:51 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.

His cousins are vocally upset at his retirement plans and he should be concerned about coming across as offensive?

No need to sink to the level of the rudest person around.

I'm rude? You said he was offending people by not wanting to be in the chat group.

And if you think my little comment makes me the rudest person around, you haven't spent much time in this forum.

Lol, they weren't calling YOU rude. They were just saying that the rude cousins don't justify a rude response.

Maybe yes, maybe no.   It all depends.

If it's out of character for them to be rude, let it go.

If it's routine for them to be rude, it's time to establish boundaries.  Those boundaries might be as gentle as

"I'll ignore it, they don't know better."
"I would appreciate it if you refrained from doing that again."
"You forgot to be polite, I expect you to do better next time."
"Be nice to me and mine or I'll show you up for the asshole you are."
"I don't want to hear from you again until you learn manners."
"Good riddance, I want nothing more to do with you."   
"Here's your restraining order.  Violate it at your peril."

Obviously, it's rarely appropriate to go to the upper end of the scale and even more rarely appropriate to leap to it.

It all depends.

What I have learned is that a repetitive, frequent pattern of INTENTIONAL rudeness is a form of willful abuse.  And no one should have to put up with that shit.   I've also learned that ignoring intentional rudeness/abuse is the functional equivalent to giving consent to further treatment like that.   "Silence implies consent" is the old maxim and it applies here.

Good post!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: okcisok on April 12, 2020, 07:56:15 PM

I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck.

I do this all the time! I went from being ashamed of this knee-jerk reaction to just letting it fly. I don't have anything to hide at this point. :)
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: markbike528CBX on April 12, 2020, 09:46:21 PM

If it's routine for them to be rude, it's time to establish boundaries.  Those boundaries might be as gentle as

"I'll ignore it, they don't know better."
"I would appreciate it if you refrained from doing that again."
"You forgot to be polite, I expect you to do better next time."
"Be nice to me and mine or I'll show you up for the asshole you are."
"I don't want to hear from you again until you learn manners."
"Good riddance, I want nothing more to do with you."   
"Here's your restraining order.  Violate it at your peril."

Obviously, it's rarely appropriate to go to the upper end of the scale and even more rarely appropriate to leap to it.

It all depends.

..............
To the upper end of the scale I'd add:
BIFF! {batman}
POW! {batman}
BLAM! {schlockmercenary}
THOOOOM {shlockmercenary}
SKOOM {schlockmercenary}

Just to be clear, I'll reiterate Swordguy's advice: "Obviously, it's rarely appropriate to go to the upper end of the scale and even more rarely appropriate to leap to it."
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: honeybbq on April 15, 2020, 12:45:39 PM
And then I realized they all think I'm stupid because I'm paying 24% interest (or whatever it is) on my groceries!

As opposed to paying 24% for a fancy purse or shoes?
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: happyuk on April 15, 2020, 01:06:33 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.

Some people need offending over and over.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: dandarc on April 15, 2020, 01:12:03 PM
was added to a WhatsApp group of cousins (1st and 2nd cousins)...

during some topic chat, I mentioned I'm planning on retiring around when my youngest goes to college (in 12 years). I'd be ~54. Responses were majority negative, from mild to disgust.

Many of my cousins are entitled and have EOC, and work for their parents, or they married into money, while my bro and I are successful without grants and loans from Bank of Dad & Mum.

I politely wished them the best and noped the fuck out of that group chat. One cousin keeps on trying to add me every month to the group.

My brother asked me why I keep on leaving the group. I said I didn't ask to join, hence I left, and I have nothing in common with our cousins. The less I know, the happier I am.

My wife wonders how I'm not materialistic and am an outcast; she's happy that I focus on my family and building the little green army.

Just mute the group. No reason to offend people by leaving over and over.

Some people need offending over and over.
I'd argue nearly everyone needs offending at least once in a while.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Dicey on April 15, 2020, 01:20:02 PM

I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck.

I do this all the time! I went from being ashamed of this knee-jerk reaction to just letting it fly. I don't have anything to hide at this point. :)
What I have to hide from these shaming idiots is my Total Net Worth. That would make them cry indeed. They'd say it isn't fair, that it's impossible, blah x 3. Meanwhile, I'm LMAO all the way to the [virtual] bank.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Nangirl17 on April 21, 2020, 01:11:54 PM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

I didn't get this for years either - I used to live in Australia in a fairly sunny area.  While winters did get cold(ish), they still had blue sky and sun.  I currently live in the Netherlands, and after 6 months of grey, I would happily just sit in the sun and warm weather for a week!  How situation can change views!

This x1000!!

We are pretty grey in my locale, and after dragging through clouds from October to April, (with a few clear days here and there when it gets to -20C) a week in warm sun is life-giving, and I don't care what I'm doing!!

It snowed today. =(
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Boll weevil on April 28, 2020, 04:39:04 PM
In my industry we get the Friday after Thanksgiving off as well as the entire period from December 24 through January 1.

Awhile ago a coworker asks if it’s possible to have enough ETO (combined vacation plus sick leave) to take the whole period between Thanksgiving and Christmas break off. I said “Sure, it’s easy, all you have to do is accrue the 160 hours or so to cover that time. You can have up to 256 hours* on the books, so it’s just a matter of saving up.”

*[This was directed at the particular coworker, the balance you can have depends on how long you’ve been with the company; my cap is higher and for a while I had so much I was taking Friday afternoons off as necessary just to stay below it]

Coworker #2 says “Yeah, but we don’t all save it up like you do.”
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: ketchup on April 28, 2020, 04:46:15 PM
A while ago a co-worker bought a new-to-him truck.  He paid cash (something like $25k for a then-four-ish-year-old truck), was going to use it for his mowing business and farm stuff (aka he did actually use it for truck stuff).  Seemed reasonable.

He has an hour long (one-way) commute and was talking about selling his ~2007 35MPG Nissan a couple months after buying the truck.   I (stupidly) said something like "Oh, so you figured out the additional insurance and carrying costs of two cars was more than the gas savings of commuting in the Nissan instead of the truck?"  And he answered "Well no, the gas is way more, but I bought the truck to drive it."

Alright, bud.  Good talk.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: penguintroopers on April 29, 2020, 06:52:06 AM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Master of None on April 29, 2020, 08:17:27 AM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: solon on April 29, 2020, 09:03:03 AM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: ketchup on April 29, 2020, 12:31:18 PM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: rockstache on April 29, 2020, 07:41:35 PM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: The_Big_H on April 29, 2020, 09:09:53 PM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Salivanth on April 30, 2020, 06:44:13 AM

I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck.

I do this all the time! I went from being ashamed of this knee-jerk reaction to just letting it fly. I don't have anything to hide at this point. :)
What I have to hide from these shaming idiots is my Total Net Worth. That would make them cry indeed. They'd say it isn't fair, that it's impossible, blah x 3. Meanwhile, I'm LMAO all the way to the [virtual] bank.
That's why, if I ever do get asked about specifics, I just give them a percentage. Saying "I have about 100k invested" and saying "I'm 15% of the way to retirement" is equivalent, but I've never met someone who has the FI context to do the maths, but still reacts in such a manner.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Dicey on April 30, 2020, 07:38:09 AM
I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck.
I do this all the time! I went from being ashamed of this knee-jerk reaction to just letting it fly. I don't have anything to hide at this point. :)
What I have to hide from these shaming idiots is my Total Net Worth. That would make them cry indeed. They'd say it isn't fair, that it's impossible, blah x 3. Meanwhile, I'm LMAO all the way to the [virtual] bank.
That's why, if I ever do get asked about specifics, I just give them a percentage. Saying "I have about 100k invested" and saying "I'm 15% of the way to retirement" is equivalent, but I've never met someone who has the FI context to do the maths, but still reacts in such a manner.
Yeah, I've been FIRE more than seven years, so that cat's out of the bag. And quite seriously, no one's asking.
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: Master of None on April 30, 2020, 08:47:46 AM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

I have to say that one of my favorite things to do is tell people how much I don't care about the fancy things that they gush over. I understand that it often makes me look like an asshole, but they ask my opinion and I provide it. Topics around private school, trips, professional sports games/merch, and fancy purchases have stopped being discussed around me because I just don't care about those types of things. I enjoy some of that stuff, but not to the point were I'm spending tones of money. I can enjoy a football game on my huge, 7 year old, 32" TV just like everyone else. I don't have to be wearing a $200 custom jersey while I do it to signal that I'm a fan.
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: Gremlin on May 03, 2020, 12:42:20 AM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

I have to say that one of my favorite things to do is tell people how much I don't care about the fancy things that they gush over. I understand that it often makes me look like an asshole, but they ask my opinion and I provide it. Topics around private school, trips, professional sports games/merch, and fancy purchases have stopped being discussed around me because I just don't care about those types of things. I enjoy some of that stuff, but not to the point were I'm spending tones of money. I can enjoy a football game on my huge, 7 year old, 32" TV just like everyone else. I don't have to be wearing a $200 custom jersey while I do it to signal that I'm a fan.

I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: Just Joe on May 03, 2020, 02:43:15 PM
Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

Aren't those conversations so fun? I witnessed one between Mr Manager talking (bragging) about all the features/styling/performance of his fancy car to an underling who was apparently neither a car guy and made a fraction of manager man's salary and drove a $500 beater. Everyone seemed to understand the awkwardness except the manager.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: OtherJen on May 03, 2020, 03:30:01 PM
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: SailingOnASmallSailboat on May 03, 2020, 03:38:20 PM
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.

A long time ago, we were wondering how to use our house more efficiently. Friends came for dinner and suggested we add on, because . . . They could not understand when we asked, "Why would we build more space when we're not using all the space we already have?"
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: OtherJen on May 03, 2020, 03:53:08 PM
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.

A long time ago, we were wondering how to use our house more efficiently. Friends came for dinner and suggested we add on, because . . . They could not understand when we asked, "Why would we build more space when we're not using all the space we already have?"

Exactly! We use every room in our house every day. If we had more space, that probably wouldn't be true.
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: ketchup on May 03, 2020, 05:42:56 PM
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: SunnyDays on May 04, 2020, 02:49:15 PM
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: GreenToTheCore on May 04, 2020, 05:08:47 PM
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.

Well, count us in with you: the dining table is in the family room, the couch is in the sunroom. Set it up like that for a big family dinner and just never put it back, the sunroom was too cozy. Then COVID happened. We're in no rush to put it back :)
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: SwordGuy on May 04, 2020, 07:37:02 PM
I can't stand most professional, collegiate or high school sports like football, baseball, basketball, etc.

Not because I don't like the games, it's because I don't like the culture that I associate with those games.   Bully players who think the rules don't apply to them, school administrators, prosecutors and judges who agree with them on that, and the disdain for academics and knowledge that many of the folks who are gung-ho about sports have so very frequently demonstrated to me.

Now, intellectually I know that there really are honest-to-goodness scholar-athletes in the classical mold.   But they are such a rarity compared to the willfully ignorant, narcissistically self-satisfied folks I've encountered as to just not count in my estimation.

I tried to just ignore the incessant sports conversations I would overhear at work.    Part of my disdain was caused by the guys who actually thought they were something special because their chosen group of total strangers did better in some game than some other group of total strangers.  Truly pathetic. 

But sometimes they just wouldn't let me quietly not-participate.   Sometimes they would insist that I cared about that stuff and must participate with them, and just wouldn't take "no, thank you." for an answer.   

At which point, I would make a deadpan statement, in my best classy British valet's voice, "It is not my custom to watch men play with their balls in public."

That would usually do the trick.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: LaineyAZ on May 04, 2020, 07:50:47 PM
I can't stand most professional, collegiate or high school sports like football, baseball, basketball, etc.

Not because I don't like the games, it's because I don't like the culture that I associate with those games.   Bully players who think the rules don't apply to them, school administrators, prosecutors and judges who agree with them on that, and the disdain for academics and knowledge that many of the folks who are gung-ho about sports have so very frequently demonstrated to me.

Now, intellectually I know that there really are honest-to-goodness scholar-athletes in the classical mold.   But they are such a rarity compared to the willfully ignorant, narcissistically self-satisfied folks I've encountered as to just not count in my estimation.

I tried to just ignore the incessant sports conversations I would overhear at work.    Part of my disdain was caused by the guys who actually thought they were something special because their chosen group of total strangers did better in some game than some other group of total strangers.  Truly pathetic. 

But sometimes they just wouldn't let me quietly not-participate.   Sometimes they would insist that I cared about that stuff and must participate with them, and just wouldn't take "no, thank you." for an answer.   

At which point, I would make a deadpan statement, in my best classy British valet's voice, "It is not my custom to watch men play with their balls in public."

That would usually do the trick.

haha.  Reminds me of a quote from the character Niles on the Frasier TV show.  He was the same way and finally said in frustration, "I don't care who puts what balls into which receptacle."   

I thank my lucky stars every day that my SO is uninterested in either playing or watching team sports.  He's a male unicorn in that respect.
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: Bloop Bloop on May 06, 2020, 02:19:01 AM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

I have to say that one of my favorite things to do is tell people how much I don't care about the fancy things that they gush over. I understand that it often makes me look like an asshole, but they ask my opinion and I provide it. Topics around private school, trips, professional sports games/merch, and fancy purchases have stopped being discussed around me because I just don't care about those types of things. I enjoy some of that stuff, but not to the point were I'm spending tones of money. I can enjoy a football game on my huge, 7 year old, 32" TV just like everyone else. I don't have to be wearing a $200 custom jersey while I do it to signal that I'm a fan.

I think there's an unwritten social rule that if you can afford something nice, you shouldn't talk about it unless your conversation partner willingly asks, or already has the same/similar nice thing himself or herself.

Anything else is just really gauche.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Just Joe on May 06, 2020, 03:49:45 PM
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: ketchup on May 06, 2020, 04:44:03 PM
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7bi3AYAmtk)... investment.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: DadJokes on May 06, 2020, 05:25:18 PM
We are in a church life group that meets (or did before covid-19) every other week for a potluck and discussion. We are all in similar socioeconomic group (household income ~$100k). One night, the group was discussing things they can't live without, (things like eating out frequently, their nice cars, and Publix). Later in the evening, the same people mentioned struggling to find money for giving due to struggles with student loans and mortgages. My wife and I just shared a look and smiled.

They know that we are big savers, but I try very hard not to offer unsolicited advice.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: SwordGuy on May 06, 2020, 06:38:36 PM
We are in a church life group that meets (or did before covid-19) every other week for a potluck and discussion. We are all in similar socioeconomic group (household income ~$100k). One night, the group was discussing things they can't live without, (things like eating out frequently, their nice cars, and Publix). Later in the evening, the same people mentioned struggling to find money for giving due to struggles with student loans and mortgages. My wife and I just shared a look and smiled.

They know that we are big savers, but I try very hard not to offer unsolicited advice.

Surprising how hard it is to find money for giving when they spend everything they make on themselves.   Who knew?   Who could have expected such a thing?     
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: artemidorus on May 06, 2020, 10:09:20 PM
We welcomed a baby a little over a year ago. My work offers no paternity leave, so the average new dad is back at work within a couple weeks. My wife's job offers three months paid maternity leave. Every mom is back at 3 months and a day. In spite of that, my wife and I each took two months more than what our jobs offered. I took two months, most of it unpaid, and my wife took five months, two of those unpaid.

When people heard I was taking two months paternity, and my wife was taking five months maternity, it was always met positively, and all we could hear were gushing compliments.

Not compliments for us as parents, but for the GENEROSITY of our employers. And I would correct those people, because my employer wasn't paying for me to be off for two months, it was our savings. Those extra two months for my wife were approved, but only so long as she knew she would have to pay the employer end of any of her benefits. And federal law was keeping my job in place, that was not my job being family-friendly.

Almost unanimously, the compliments for our employers were replaced with looks of broken brains. There were rarely compliments bestowed on us for taking unpaid time. We were asked if it was a good idea. How could we survive without being paid for two months? Maybe we got an, "Oh. Good for you," with a look of disdain.

Nobody got the concept that we save plenty of money and wanted to spend time with our first born child, rather than go right back to work the second we were expected to. Somehow, I was the weird one.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Wrenchturner on May 06, 2020, 11:12:16 PM
We welcomed a baby a little over a year ago. My work offers no paternity leave, so the average new dad is back at work within a couple weeks. My wife's job offers three months paid maternity leave. Every mom is back at 3 months and a day. In spite of that, my wife and I each took two months more than what our jobs offered. I took two months, most of it unpaid, and my wife took five months, two of those unpaid.

When people heard I was taking two months paternity, and my wife was taking five months maternity, it was always met positively, and all we could hear were gushing compliments.

Not compliments for us as parents, but for the GENEROSITY of our employers. And I would correct those people, because my employer wasn't paying for me to be off for two months, it was our savings. Those extra two months for my wife were approved, but only so long as she knew she would have to pay the employer end of any of her benefits. And federal law was keeping my job in place, that was not my job being family-friendly.

Almost unanimously, the compliments for our employers were replaced with looks of broken brains. There were rarely compliments bestowed on us for taking unpaid time. We were asked if it was a good idea. How could we survive without being paid for two months? Maybe we got an, "Oh. Good for you," with a look of disdain.

Nobody got the concept that we save plenty of money and wanted to spend time with our first born child, rather than go right back to work the second we were expected to. Somehow, I was the weird one.

You would think that saving money prior to the delivery of a new life in the world would be conventional.  As opposed to relying on an employer's generosity(???).

Sad to hear about the crabs in buckets around you.  I'm assuming you'd say this arrangement worked out well for you and your family?
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Master of None on May 07, 2020, 07:30:09 AM
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7bi3AYAmtk)... investment.

This was by far my favorite episode of The 99! I was dying. We showed it to our son and he went around for weeks asking for thinks and then doing exactly what Holt was doing. Lost it every damn time. Thanks for bringing me joy this morning!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Kazyan on May 07, 2020, 08:39:07 AM
You would think that saving money prior to the delivery of a new life in the world would be conventional.  As opposed to relying on an employer's generosity(???).

Sad to hear about the crabs in buckets around you.  I'm assuming you'd say this arrangement worked out well for you and your family?

Sounds less like 'crabs in buckets' to me and more like, well, bootlicking. Gushing about the employers, followed by not a peep over the people who saved the fruits of their labor.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Dicey on May 07, 2020, 11:29:13 AM
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7bi3AYAmtk)... investment.

This was by far my favorite episode of The 99! I was dying. We showed it to our son and he went around for weeks asking for thinks and then doing exactly what Holt was doing. Lost it every damn time. Thanks for bringing me joy this morning!
I don't know this show at all and missed the reference completely. I just watched it and think I've found something new to dive into. The next video was when they made the lineup sing Backstreet Boys. 100% convinced.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: dandarc on May 07, 2020, 11:42:41 AM
143 episodes to date, so maybe a week or two of quarantine covered @Dicey.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: OtherJen on May 07, 2020, 11:47:34 AM
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7bi3AYAmtk)... investment.

This was by far my favorite episode of The 99! I was dying. We showed it to our son and he went around for weeks asking for thinks and then doing exactly what Holt was doing. Lost it every damn time. Thanks for bringing me joy this morning!
I don't know this show at all and missed the reference completely. I just watched it and think I've found something new to dive into. The next video was when they made the lineup sing Backstreet Boys. 100% convinced.

It's definitely entertaining.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: artemidorus on May 07, 2020, 03:46:11 PM
We welcomed a baby a little over a year ago. My work offers no paternity leave, so the average new dad is back at work within a couple weeks. My wife's job offers three months paid maternity leave. Every mom is back at 3 months and a day. In spite of that, my wife and I each took two months more than what our jobs offered. I took two months, most of it unpaid, and my wife took five months, two of those unpaid.

When people heard I was taking two months paternity, and my wife was taking five months maternity, it was always met positively, and all we could hear were gushing compliments.

Not compliments for us as parents, but for the GENEROSITY of our employers. And I would correct those people, because my employer wasn't paying for me to be off for two months, it was our savings. Those extra two months for my wife were approved, but only so long as she knew she would have to pay the employer end of any of her benefits. And federal law was keeping my job in place, that was not my job being family-friendly.

Almost unanimously, the compliments for our employers were replaced with looks of broken brains. There were rarely compliments bestowed on us for taking unpaid time. We were asked if it was a good idea. How could we survive without being paid for two months? Maybe we got an, "Oh. Good for you," with a look of disdain.

Nobody got the concept that we save plenty of money and wanted to spend time with our first born child, rather than go right back to work the second we were expected to. Somehow, I was the weird one.

You would think that saving money prior to the delivery of a new life in the world would be conventional.  As opposed to relying on an employer's generosity(???).

Sad to hear about the crabs in buckets around you.  I'm assuming you'd say this arrangement worked out well for you and your family?

It did, thank you! Without all the grim details, if I had gone back to work after only two or three weeks, I would have been tortured leaving my wife at home knowing how awful things were at home. The last two weeks of my leave were much smoother, we had hit a good stride as a family. And my wife’s leave was long enough that she learned she is NOT meant to be a stay-at-home mom. But had it only been 3 months, she would have been really torn up about whether or not to return to work. Totally worth the lost income for both of us.

To give some credit, our family members were very supportive after it sunk in that we had no financial worries. I think they all came from a place of concern over jealousy. It just took a few conversations.

And one of the few people that wasn’t a jerk about it took inspiration. She was pregnant around the same time, and realized she didn’t have to be at work right away either. So she also took unpaid months to be home with her baby. Different circumstances as her husband makes somewhere over $900K per year. But it was like a light bulb went off for her that she could even ask for unpaid time, she was seriously going to be at work as soon as her 3 months were up. Even though they definitely did not need her $60K salary.

She was the one friend that was sincerely kind about our decisions!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Wrenchturner on May 07, 2020, 08:27:13 PM
I would hope that a family with a breadwinner making $900k a year would be able to negotiate favorable maternity/paternity leave!
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Dicey on May 07, 2020, 08:29:54 PM
I would hope that a family with a breadwinner making $900k a year would be able to negotiate favorable maternity/paternity leave!
Hell, I would hope that one making $90k a year would do the same thing if that's where their heart led.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: clarkfan1979 on May 11, 2020, 08:21:24 AM
To me, the weird dynamic occurs in three phases.

Phase One: you avoid buying stupid things like status symbols that do not help your net worth. The most noticeable things to others is that you avoid the fancy car and fancy dinners. You are encouraged to do these things from others, but politely "opt-out". This typically results in people assuming that you are poor. People make fun of you, but it's light-hearted, so you do not take offense.

Phase two: other people get confused when your primary house is not a shit hole and then a couple years later you buy a rental house. You still do vacations but it's with credit card points. Instead of jokes, you start to get questions. How are you able to afford this when your car is only worth $3,000? Well, because I spend less money on liabilities, I have more money to spend on assets. It's pretty simple. Well, that is cool that you can do that, but I could never do that because.... (fill in the blank)

Phase Three: You get anger from co-workers because you start opting out of projects at work that do not interest you. Co-workers are struggling to pay their bills and cannot afford to get fired, so they take on all the shit jobs.  Instead of jokes from others, you get sarcastic comments along the lines of, "must be nice."

I had a college professor share a similar story to his class and I didn't believe him at the time. He was good friends with a co-worker for about 30 years. They were the same age, had similar careers and made the same amount of money. His friend inflated his lifestyle and he did not. After 30 years the friendship ended because my professor had too much money (10 million) in his late 60's. According to the other person the friendship was not sustainable because he had become an "evil rich person" and they could not affiliate with such a person. 
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: SwordGuy on May 11, 2020, 08:25:44 AM
To me, the weird dynamic occurs in three phases.

Phase One: you avoid buying stupid things like status symbols that do not help your net worth. The most noticeable things to others is that you avoid the fancy car and fancy dinners. You are encouraged to do these things from others, but politely "opt-out". This typically results in people assuming that you are poor. People make fun of you, but it's light-hearted, so you do not take offense.

Phase two: other people get confused when your primary house is not a shit hole and then a couple years later you buy a rental house. You still do vacations but it's with credit card points. Instead of jokes, you start to get questions. How are you able to afford this when your car is only worth $3,000? Well, because I spend less money on liabilities, I have more money to spend on assets. It's pretty simple. Well, that is cool that you can do that, but I could never do that because.... (fill in the blank)

Phase Three: You get anger from co-workers because you start opting out of projects at work that do not interest you. Co-workers are struggling to pay their bills and cannot afford to get fired, so they take on all the shit jobs.  Instead of jokes from others, you get sarcastic comments along the lines of, "must be nice."

I had a college professor share a similar story to his class and I didn't believe him at the time. He was good friends with a co-worker for about 30 years. They were the same age, had similar careers and made the same amount of money. His friend inflated his lifestyle and he did not. After 30 years the friendship ended because my professor had too much money (10 million) in his late 60's. According to the other person the friendship was not sustainable because he had become an "evil rich person" and they could not affiliate with such a person.
Well said.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: jinga nation on May 11, 2020, 09:12:45 AM
To me, the weird dynamic occurs in three phases.

Phase One: you avoid buying stupid things like status symbols that do not help your net worth. The most noticeable things to others is that you avoid the fancy car and fancy dinners. You are encouraged to do these things from others, but politely "opt-out". This typically results in people assuming that you are poor. People make fun of you, but it's light-hearted, so you do not take offense.

Phase two: other people get confused when your primary house is not a shit hole and then a couple years later you buy a rental house. You still do vacations but it's with credit card points. Instead of jokes, you start to get questions. How are you able to afford this when your car is only worth $3,000? Well, because I spend less money on liabilities, I have more money to spend on assets. It's pretty simple. Well, that is cool that you can do that, but I could never do that because.... (fill in the blank)

Phase Three: You get anger from co-workers because you start opting out of projects at work that do not interest you. Co-workers are struggling to pay their bills and cannot afford to get fired, so they take on all the shit jobs.  Instead of jokes from others, you get sarcastic comments along the lines of, "must be nice."

I had a college professor share a similar story to his class and I didn't believe him at the time. He was good friends with a co-worker for about 30 years. They were the same age, had similar careers and made the same amount of money. His friend inflated his lifestyle and he did not. After 30 years the friendship ended because my professor had too much money (10 million) in his late 60's. According to the other person the friendship was not sustainable because he had become an "evil rich person" and they could not affiliate with such a person.

well explained. happened to me, over work and friendships.

phase 1: instead of buying many many computer toys, decided to invest into index funds, optimize savings. they called me a luddite. I built a god box and a HTPC, which are still running 9 years later without issues. No more toys after that except an Alienware laptop that I go for 50% off, years later my youngest kid uses for schoolwork.
phase 2: primary house not a shithole, not fancy either. but yes, started buying rental properties in cash. vacations with points/miles. optimize. did not get asked questions, but received ridiculous comments on wife's and mine old Hondas, when friends drive BMW "sports cars".
phase 3: exactly what @clarkfan1979 said. then I quit my job working with them and went to work at a place the friends always talked trash about. made a ton of good contacts and one super good personal friendship. leveraged that into better job security, moving into a forefront technology. Old friends became "friends" except for one who started reading the BogleHeads recommended books and deciding to put his financial life in order. He's my first close buddy in this country, I can call him out on his stupidity but we'll always be good friends. All the other "friends" I'm not in contact with, they'll ping me once in a blue moon for a job in my industry, have to tell them sorry I'm not hiring - friends don't make good co-workers, 99% of the time.

i'm happier now without the energy suckers, debbie downers.
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: talltexan on May 12, 2020, 01:44:06 PM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

There is a lot of extravagance in that list, but the nanny is really an investment in earning power. If you want a big career, it enables the time away from family to make that work happen.

The Pool + Pool guy? Yeah, that is totally a luxury.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: imadandylion on May 13, 2020, 10:27:19 AM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: OtherJen on May 13, 2020, 04:38:12 PM
I completely understand going on vacation and doing little besides lounging in the sun with a book or knitting, swimming, and taking leisurely hikes/bikes for a few days. I'm terrible at relaxing when I'm home. But we usually go camping at a state park when we want to do this, and that's only $30/night for the campsite plus whatever food we've brought with us and gas for the car ride.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Bloop Bloop on May 13, 2020, 08:42:43 PM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.

It's nice to get away from it all and get pampered.

If I have had a busy patch at work I don't want to go hiking or sightseeing or market browsing every day. I might want 5 uninterrupted days at the pool.

By the way, if you've ever had any experience of living where I do (Australia), you will know that an international resort is much, much cheaper than simply living in Australia. At least, when our dollar is at usual levels (around 0.8USD), it is. Now the exchange rate is less favourable so it might tip the balance, but for the most part getting pampered at an international resort is much cheaper than any sort of relaxation (say, a gym pass or pool pass + sauna + massage) here. That's what happens when wages are so high.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: penguintroopers on May 14, 2020, 07:25:30 AM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.

It's nice to get away from it all and get pampered.

If I have had a busy patch at work I don't want to go hiking or sightseeing or market browsing every day. I might want 5 uninterrupted days at the pool.

By the way, if you've ever had any experience of living where I do (Australia), you will know that an international resort is much, much cheaper than simply living in Australia. At least, when our dollar is at usual levels (around 0.8USD), it is. Now the exchange rate is less favourable so it might tip the balance, but for the most part getting pampered at an international resort is much cheaper than any sort of relaxation (say, a gym pass or pool pass + sauna + massage) here. That's what happens when wages are so high.

This is what I was thinking too, but USA vs a Caribbean locale. I think even with airfare you can still net a cheaper vacation, and it even has the "oooh" factor a domestic vacation lacks.
Title: Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
Post by: Vertical Mode on May 14, 2020, 08:16:27 AM
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

Technically, those two bosses are correct that $250,000 per year "isn't rich" - it's "high income"...as they are proving by enumerating quite the list of superfluous expenses. Hard to actually become "rich" with spending like that. It is truly amazing what some people consider "normal".
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: TheGrimSqueaker on May 14, 2020, 08:39:56 AM
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.

It's nice to get away from it all and get pampered.

If I have had a busy patch at work I don't want to go hiking or sightseeing or market browsing every day. I might want 5 uninterrupted days at the pool.

By the way, if you've ever had any experience of living where I do (Australia), you will know that an international resort is much, much cheaper than simply living in Australia. At least, when our dollar is at usual levels (around 0.8USD), it is. Now the exchange rate is less favourable so it might tip the balance, but for the most part getting pampered at an international resort is much cheaper than any sort of relaxation (say, a gym pass or pool pass + sauna + massage) here. That's what happens when wages are so high.

This is what I was thinking too, but USA vs a Caribbean locale. I think even with airfare you can still net a cheaper vacation, and it even has the "oooh" factor a domestic vacation lacks.

Add in travel hacking with airline points and it gets even better.

One of the things I've noticed about getting out of town is it gets me off the hook with regard to housework, yard chores, and what I call "second shift" or Doing Things For Other People. The burden is exponentially larger on what I call the "hellidays", specifically FucksGiving and Giftmas. These are two artificial commercial events devoted to shopping, crap acquisition, debt accumulation, and professional football. I am interested in none of these activities but do enjoy feasts. A lot of work goes into setting up a feast, however I find that it's best if I avoid doing it. If I throw a dinner party at some other time in the social season, I can get on people's calendars and have a great time. But the same feast, given on a helliday for people who claim they have no other plans, will be doomed.

Last FucksGiving I cancelled my travel plans to throw a big turkey party because two of my best friends begged me to. I worked for days to get the ingredients, clean the house, roast the bird and prepare a gorgeous table. How many of my guests came? Not a single one! My daughter and her boyfriend no-showed the way she always does. One set of friends no-showed and ghosted me, not responding to phone or text messages. The last set of friends arrived 45 minutes late after I was cleaning up the uneaten feast, because they stopped to run an errand at a grocery store. Because of this experience, which is not an isolated event, I have decided to never throw a holiday party again. Working my ass off cleaning, cooking, and cut-cut-cutting up food for hours is fine when people show up (on time!) and partake of the event. If people don't want to show up on time, or at all, they shouldn't ask their friends to throw them a party. Any friend dumb enough to do that probably deserves what they get, so my response is to no longer do FucksGiving or Giftmas. I'm also not doing adult birthday parties.

Sadly, when I'm at home on the hellidays, people feel entitled to "drop in" because when they know I'm not entertaining they have a bizarre desire to be entertained by me in my home. So my cleaning and baking burden isn't any lighter.

If I get completely out of town I do have the opportunity to relax provided I don't visit relatives (airports during the hellidays aren't my idea of a good time). I also don't suffer from resentment, the root cause of which is an unrealistic expectation that people will behave differently from what's normal for them. There are people who can and do show up when they say they will. I've been focusing on them. However they are family groups who generally celebrate by themselves on the hellidays, so they always have other plans. It's best that I just take off and not try to participate in the hellidays. If I'm at a resort, a campsite, or a hotel with my service dog I'm treated far better by complete strangers than I am if I try to entertain friends or family.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: Imma on May 14, 2020, 10:49:22 AM
@TheGrimSqueaker people who don't turn up when you've cooked a feast for them aren't what I would consider friends! That's extremely rude.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: TheGrimSqueaker on May 14, 2020, 10:54:34 AM
@TheGrimSqueaker people who don't turn up when you've cooked a feast for them aren't what I would consider friends! That's extremely rude.

The incident resulted in me having a frank, candid talk with everyone involved. I politely stated my case and asked for change.

One apologized, realized she'd had her head up her butt, and made sustained and ongoing changes to become the kind of person who reciprocates and communicates. I kept her as a friend, and she even helped provide grooming to my service dog during quarantine. Another demonstrated that his head is still up his butt-- a bunch of excuse making followed by no change in behavior. He's an ex-friend. Those were the extremes. Another couple engaged in apology followed by no change of behavior. Ex friend.

I save my feast talents for my feast-loving friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Regarding the hellidays as feast opportunities was an error on my part and I won't repeat it. There are another 360-odd days of the year that can and should be feast opportunities. Wolfenoot, for example.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: clarkfan1979 on May 14, 2020, 11:56:32 AM
Credit card points can be confusing for some.

My wife and I were living on Kauai and flew to Denver for a long weekend for a wedding for one of her really good friends in 2017. At church, her uncle (age 65) greeted us with hostility claiming that our plane tickets were too expensive for a weekend trip. My response was, "not really because we used points." He responded with a confused look on his face and walked away to his $50,000 truck. Good talk.

To be fair, the last time he went to Hawaii he probably spent $1500 for his plane ticket. However, this is no longer 1995.

I'm currently sitting on 146,000 Southwest points and a companion fare. I can fly from Denver to Kauai round-trip 6 times with 146,000 points. I can also bring a companion, so it is actually 12 round trip flights. I think that is very difficult for the average person to understand.



Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: imadandylion on May 14, 2020, 12:54:26 PM
Haha, I think I just realized I'm the 'weird one' here! Personally, I love going on international/domestic trips because I'm trying to see something, not 'get away' from things at home. There has been one trip that involved staying in a resort for a couple days to experience a private beach (but only as part of a vacation that also included doing other things and staying outside of the resort), and it's nice, but definitely a bit boring for me (also their food made me sick as opposed to eating food in town!). I also travel to experience food so it's hard for me to grasp the idea of eating in a resort which doesn't really represent the local food very well. And I love trying to speak the language and talk to people, see how other people live, etc. Different stokes. I know some people who are way busier than I am on vacation who fit in as many as 5-10 different countries in 2-3 weeks time frame. That's a bit too much for me to enjoy the actual location. Both styles of travel (the only-stay-in-resort and must-fit-in-as-many-countries as possible) are equally bizarre to me.
Title: Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
Post by: OtherJen on May 14, 2020, 03:10:05 PM
Haha, I think I just realized I'm the 'weird one' here! Personally, I love going on international/domestic trips because I'm trying to see something, not 'get away' from things at home. There has been one trip that involved staying in a resort for a couple days to experience a private beach (but only as part of a vacation that also included doing other things and staying outside of the resort), and it's nice, but definitely a bit boring for me (also their food made me sick as opposed to eating food in town!). I also travel to experience food so it's hard for me to grasp the idea of eating in a resort which doesn't really represent the local food very well. And I love trying to speak the language and talk to people, see how other people live, etc. Different stokes. I know some people who are way busier than I am on vacation who fit in as many as 5-10 different countries in 2-3 weeks time frame. That's a bit too much for me to enjoy the actual location. Both styles of travel (the only-stay-in-resort and must-fit-in-as-many-countries as possible) are equally bizarre to me.

Yeah, all-inclusive resorts aren't really appealing to me. If I'm on a more active and/or distant vacation, I prefer to eat in local restaurants (or buy food in local grocery stores), walk or bike around neighborhoods, tour cultural sites, etc. However, I do sometimes need the do-nothing trips. State park camping is perfect for that.