Author Topic: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?  (Read 13400 times)

penguintroopers

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #50 on: April 29, 2020, 06:52:06 AM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Master of None

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #51 on: April 29, 2020, 08:17:27 AM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

solon

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #52 on: April 29, 2020, 09:03:03 AM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.

ketchup

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #53 on: April 29, 2020, 12:31:18 PM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).

rockstache

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #54 on: April 29, 2020, 07:41:35 PM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

The_Big_H

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #55 on: April 29, 2020, 09:09:53 PM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

Salivanth

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #56 on: April 30, 2020, 06:44:13 AM »

I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck.

I do this all the time! I went from being ashamed of this knee-jerk reaction to just letting it fly. I don't have anything to hide at this point. :)
What I have to hide from these shaming idiots is my Total Net Worth. That would make them cry indeed. They'd say it isn't fair, that it's impossible, blah x 3. Meanwhile, I'm LMAO all the way to the [virtual] bank.
That's why, if I ever do get asked about specifics, I just give them a percentage. Saying "I have about 100k invested" and saying "I'm 15% of the way to retirement" is equivalent, but I've never met someone who has the FI context to do the maths, but still reacts in such a manner.

Dicey

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #57 on: April 30, 2020, 07:38:09 AM »
I was wearing a really pretty dress - high-end (I had no idea) brand that fit me really well and a coworker said something like "really love that dress/looks nice on you" and I blurted out "I know! Isn't it great!? I got it at goodwill for $1.50!"

I realized afterwards that bragging I paid a buck fifty for an outfit I bought used in a fancypants office environment might make me a bit of an odd duck.
I do this all the time! I went from being ashamed of this knee-jerk reaction to just letting it fly. I don't have anything to hide at this point. :)
What I have to hide from these shaming idiots is my Total Net Worth. That would make them cry indeed. They'd say it isn't fair, that it's impossible, blah x 3. Meanwhile, I'm LMAO all the way to the [virtual] bank.
That's why, if I ever do get asked about specifics, I just give them a percentage. Saying "I have about 100k invested" and saying "I'm 15% of the way to retirement" is equivalent, but I've never met someone who has the FI context to do the maths, but still reacts in such a manner.
Yeah, I've been FIRE more than seven years, so that cat's out of the bag. And quite seriously, no one's asking.

Master of None

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Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
« Reply #58 on: April 30, 2020, 08:47:46 AM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

I have to say that one of my favorite things to do is tell people how much I don't care about the fancy things that they gush over. I understand that it often makes me look like an asshole, but they ask my opinion and I provide it. Topics around private school, trips, professional sports games/merch, and fancy purchases have stopped being discussed around me because I just don't care about those types of things. I enjoy some of that stuff, but not to the point were I'm spending tones of money. I can enjoy a football game on my huge, 7 year old, 32" TV just like everyone else. I don't have to be wearing a $200 custom jersey while I do it to signal that I'm a fan.

Gremlin

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Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
« Reply #59 on: May 03, 2020, 12:42:20 AM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

I have to say that one of my favorite things to do is tell people how much I don't care about the fancy things that they gush over. I understand that it often makes me look like an asshole, but they ask my opinion and I provide it. Topics around private school, trips, professional sports games/merch, and fancy purchases have stopped being discussed around me because I just don't care about those types of things. I enjoy some of that stuff, but not to the point were I'm spending tones of money. I can enjoy a football game on my huge, 7 year old, 32" TV just like everyone else. I don't have to be wearing a $200 custom jersey while I do it to signal that I'm a fan.

I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...

Just Joe

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Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
« Reply #60 on: May 03, 2020, 02:43:15 PM »
Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

Aren't those conversations so fun? I witnessed one between Mr Manager talking (bragging) about all the features/styling/performance of his fancy car to an underling who was apparently neither a car guy and made a fraction of manager man's salary and drove a $500 beater. Everyone seemed to understand the awkwardness except the manager.

OtherJen

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #61 on: May 03, 2020, 03:30:01 PM »
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.

SailingOnASmallSailboat

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #62 on: May 03, 2020, 03:38:20 PM »
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.

A long time ago, we were wondering how to use our house more efficiently. Friends came for dinner and suggested we add on, because . . . They could not understand when we asked, "Why would we build more space when we're not using all the space we already have?"

OtherJen

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #63 on: May 03, 2020, 03:53:08 PM »
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.

A long time ago, we were wondering how to use our house more efficiently. Friends came for dinner and suggested we add on, because . . . They could not understand when we asked, "Why would we build more space when we're not using all the space we already have?"

Exactly! We use every room in our house every day. If we had more space, that probably wouldn't be true.

ketchup

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Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
« Reply #64 on: May 03, 2020, 05:42:56 PM »
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

SunnyDays

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #65 on: May 04, 2020, 02:49:15 PM »
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

GreenToTheCore

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #66 on: May 04, 2020, 05:08:47 PM »
Husband and I live in a 3-bedroom house with no kids. I have always wanted a dining room. Rather than buying a bigger house that we don't need and don't want to pay for, last weekend we turned one of the bedrooms into a den with our sofa and TV. We moved my work desk from that room up to what was formerly the living room and will become the dining room as soon as we get a table.

I told a couple of friends about the change, and got "wow, that's... interesting" in response. Because the normal thing is to buy the bigger house and only use the rooms as suggested by the sales listing.

Well, count us in with you: the dining table is in the family room, the couch is in the sunroom. Set it up like that for a big family dinner and just never put it back, the sunroom was too cozy. Then COVID happened. We're in no rush to put it back :)

SwordGuy

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #67 on: May 04, 2020, 07:37:02 PM »
I can't stand most professional, collegiate or high school sports like football, baseball, basketball, etc.

Not because I don't like the games, it's because I don't like the culture that I associate with those games.   Bully players who think the rules don't apply to them, school administrators, prosecutors and judges who agree with them on that, and the disdain for academics and knowledge that many of the folks who are gung-ho about sports have so very frequently demonstrated to me.

Now, intellectually I know that there really are honest-to-goodness scholar-athletes in the classical mold.   But they are such a rarity compared to the willfully ignorant, narcissistically self-satisfied folks I've encountered as to just not count in my estimation.

I tried to just ignore the incessant sports conversations I would overhear at work.    Part of my disdain was caused by the guys who actually thought they were something special because their chosen group of total strangers did better in some game than some other group of total strangers.  Truly pathetic. 

But sometimes they just wouldn't let me quietly not-participate.   Sometimes they would insist that I cared about that stuff and must participate with them, and just wouldn't take "no, thank you." for an answer.   

At which point, I would make a deadpan statement, in my best classy British valet's voice, "It is not my custom to watch men play with their balls in public."

That would usually do the trick.

LaineyAZ

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #68 on: May 04, 2020, 07:50:47 PM »
I can't stand most professional, collegiate or high school sports like football, baseball, basketball, etc.

Not because I don't like the games, it's because I don't like the culture that I associate with those games.   Bully players who think the rules don't apply to them, school administrators, prosecutors and judges who agree with them on that, and the disdain for academics and knowledge that many of the folks who are gung-ho about sports have so very frequently demonstrated to me.

Now, intellectually I know that there really are honest-to-goodness scholar-athletes in the classical mold.   But they are such a rarity compared to the willfully ignorant, narcissistically self-satisfied folks I've encountered as to just not count in my estimation.

I tried to just ignore the incessant sports conversations I would overhear at work.    Part of my disdain was caused by the guys who actually thought they were something special because their chosen group of total strangers did better in some game than some other group of total strangers.  Truly pathetic. 

But sometimes they just wouldn't let me quietly not-participate.   Sometimes they would insist that I cared about that stuff and must participate with them, and just wouldn't take "no, thank you." for an answer.   

At which point, I would make a deadpan statement, in my best classy British valet's voice, "It is not my custom to watch men play with their balls in public."

That would usually do the trick.

haha.  Reminds me of a quote from the character Niles on the Frasier TV show.  He was the same way and finally said in frustration, "I don't care who puts what balls into which receptacle."   

I thank my lucky stars every day that my SO is uninterested in either playing or watching team sports.  He's a male unicorn in that respect.

Bloop Bloop

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Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
« Reply #69 on: May 06, 2020, 02:19:01 AM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

I have to say that one of my favorite things to do is tell people how much I don't care about the fancy things that they gush over. I understand that it often makes me look like an asshole, but they ask my opinion and I provide it. Topics around private school, trips, professional sports games/merch, and fancy purchases have stopped being discussed around me because I just don't care about those types of things. I enjoy some of that stuff, but not to the point were I'm spending tones of money. I can enjoy a football game on my huge, 7 year old, 32" TV just like everyone else. I don't have to be wearing a $200 custom jersey while I do it to signal that I'm a fan.

I think there's an unwritten social rule that if you can afford something nice, you shouldn't talk about it unless your conversation partner willingly asks, or already has the same/similar nice thing himself or herself.

Anything else is just really gauche.

Just Joe

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #70 on: May 06, 2020, 03:49:45 PM »
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)

ketchup

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #71 on: May 06, 2020, 04:44:03 PM »
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump... investment.

DadJokes

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #72 on: May 06, 2020, 05:25:18 PM »
We are in a church life group that meets (or did before covid-19) every other week for a potluck and discussion. We are all in similar socioeconomic group (household income ~$100k). One night, the group was discussing things they can't live without, (things like eating out frequently, their nice cars, and Publix). Later in the evening, the same people mentioned struggling to find money for giving due to struggles with student loans and mortgages. My wife and I just shared a look and smiled.

They know that we are big savers, but I try very hard not to offer unsolicited advice.

SwordGuy

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #73 on: May 06, 2020, 06:38:36 PM »
We are in a church life group that meets (or did before covid-19) every other week for a potluck and discussion. We are all in similar socioeconomic group (household income ~$100k). One night, the group was discussing things they can't live without, (things like eating out frequently, their nice cars, and Publix). Later in the evening, the same people mentioned struggling to find money for giving due to struggles with student loans and mortgages. My wife and I just shared a look and smiled.

They know that we are big savers, but I try very hard not to offer unsolicited advice.

Surprising how hard it is to find money for giving when they spend everything they make on themselves.   Who knew?   Who could have expected such a thing?     

artemidorus

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #74 on: May 06, 2020, 10:09:20 PM »
We welcomed a baby a little over a year ago. My work offers no paternity leave, so the average new dad is back at work within a couple weeks. My wife's job offers three months paid maternity leave. Every mom is back at 3 months and a day. In spite of that, my wife and I each took two months more than what our jobs offered. I took two months, most of it unpaid, and my wife took five months, two of those unpaid.

When people heard I was taking two months paternity, and my wife was taking five months maternity, it was always met positively, and all we could hear were gushing compliments.

Not compliments for us as parents, but for the GENEROSITY of our employers. And I would correct those people, because my employer wasn't paying for me to be off for two months, it was our savings. Those extra two months for my wife were approved, but only so long as she knew she would have to pay the employer end of any of her benefits. And federal law was keeping my job in place, that was not my job being family-friendly.

Almost unanimously, the compliments for our employers were replaced with looks of broken brains. There were rarely compliments bestowed on us for taking unpaid time. We were asked if it was a good idea. How could we survive without being paid for two months? Maybe we got an, "Oh. Good for you," with a look of disdain.

Nobody got the concept that we save plenty of money and wanted to spend time with our first born child, rather than go right back to work the second we were expected to. Somehow, I was the weird one.

Wrenchturner

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #75 on: May 06, 2020, 11:12:16 PM »
We welcomed a baby a little over a year ago. My work offers no paternity leave, so the average new dad is back at work within a couple weeks. My wife's job offers three months paid maternity leave. Every mom is back at 3 months and a day. In spite of that, my wife and I each took two months more than what our jobs offered. I took two months, most of it unpaid, and my wife took five months, two of those unpaid.

When people heard I was taking two months paternity, and my wife was taking five months maternity, it was always met positively, and all we could hear were gushing compliments.

Not compliments for us as parents, but for the GENEROSITY of our employers. And I would correct those people, because my employer wasn't paying for me to be off for two months, it was our savings. Those extra two months for my wife were approved, but only so long as she knew she would have to pay the employer end of any of her benefits. And federal law was keeping my job in place, that was not my job being family-friendly.

Almost unanimously, the compliments for our employers were replaced with looks of broken brains. There were rarely compliments bestowed on us for taking unpaid time. We were asked if it was a good idea. How could we survive without being paid for two months? Maybe we got an, "Oh. Good for you," with a look of disdain.

Nobody got the concept that we save plenty of money and wanted to spend time with our first born child, rather than go right back to work the second we were expected to. Somehow, I was the weird one.

You would think that saving money prior to the delivery of a new life in the world would be conventional.  As opposed to relying on an employer's generosity(???).

Sad to hear about the crabs in buckets around you.  I'm assuming you'd say this arrangement worked out well for you and your family?

Master of None

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #76 on: May 07, 2020, 07:30:09 AM »
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump... investment.

This was by far my favorite episode of The 99! I was dying. We showed it to our son and he went around for weeks asking for thinks and then doing exactly what Holt was doing. Lost it every damn time. Thanks for bringing me joy this morning!

Kazyan

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #77 on: May 07, 2020, 08:39:07 AM »
You would think that saving money prior to the delivery of a new life in the world would be conventional.  As opposed to relying on an employer's generosity(???).

Sad to hear about the crabs in buckets around you.  I'm assuming you'd say this arrangement worked out well for you and your family?

Sounds less like 'crabs in buckets' to me and more like, well, bootlicking. Gushing about the employers, followed by not a peep over the people who saved the fruits of their labor.

Dicey

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #78 on: May 07, 2020, 11:29:13 AM »
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump... investment.

This was by far my favorite episode of The 99! I was dying. We showed it to our son and he went around for weeks asking for thinks and then doing exactly what Holt was doing. Lost it every damn time. Thanks for bringing me joy this morning!
I don't know this show at all and missed the reference completely. I just watched it and think I've found something new to dive into. The next video was when they made the lineup sing Backstreet Boys. 100% convinced.

dandarc

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #79 on: May 07, 2020, 11:42:41 AM »
143 episodes to date, so maybe a week or two of quarantine covered @Dicey.

OtherJen

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #80 on: May 07, 2020, 11:47:34 AM »
I've told this in another thread, but this reminds me of it...

I use the phrase "Congratulations on your investment" to talk about any such high cost frippery.  Those that know me, know that I'm mocking them incessantly, those that don't often beam from the compliment.  Kinda like a mustachian version of the South's "Bless your heart"...
This is absolutely fantastic.  I may borrow that.

I would be sorely tempted to put air quotes around “investment,” but I guess that would be rude.  Plus, they likely wouldn’t get it.

Just put your hands in your pockets before you use that phrase in case the air quotes are an involuntary reflex. ;)
Congratulations on your... pump pump... investment.

This was by far my favorite episode of The 99! I was dying. We showed it to our son and he went around for weeks asking for thinks and then doing exactly what Holt was doing. Lost it every damn time. Thanks for bringing me joy this morning!
I don't know this show at all and missed the reference completely. I just watched it and think I've found something new to dive into. The next video was when they made the lineup sing Backstreet Boys. 100% convinced.

It's definitely entertaining.

artemidorus

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #81 on: May 07, 2020, 03:46:11 PM »
We welcomed a baby a little over a year ago. My work offers no paternity leave, so the average new dad is back at work within a couple weeks. My wife's job offers three months paid maternity leave. Every mom is back at 3 months and a day. In spite of that, my wife and I each took two months more than what our jobs offered. I took two months, most of it unpaid, and my wife took five months, two of those unpaid.

When people heard I was taking two months paternity, and my wife was taking five months maternity, it was always met positively, and all we could hear were gushing compliments.

Not compliments for us as parents, but for the GENEROSITY of our employers. And I would correct those people, because my employer wasn't paying for me to be off for two months, it was our savings. Those extra two months for my wife were approved, but only so long as she knew she would have to pay the employer end of any of her benefits. And federal law was keeping my job in place, that was not my job being family-friendly.

Almost unanimously, the compliments for our employers were replaced with looks of broken brains. There were rarely compliments bestowed on us for taking unpaid time. We were asked if it was a good idea. How could we survive without being paid for two months? Maybe we got an, "Oh. Good for you," with a look of disdain.

Nobody got the concept that we save plenty of money and wanted to spend time with our first born child, rather than go right back to work the second we were expected to. Somehow, I was the weird one.

You would think that saving money prior to the delivery of a new life in the world would be conventional.  As opposed to relying on an employer's generosity(???).

Sad to hear about the crabs in buckets around you.  I'm assuming you'd say this arrangement worked out well for you and your family?

It did, thank you! Without all the grim details, if I had gone back to work after only two or three weeks, I would have been tortured leaving my wife at home knowing how awful things were at home. The last two weeks of my leave were much smoother, we had hit a good stride as a family. And my wife’s leave was long enough that she learned she is NOT meant to be a stay-at-home mom. But had it only been 3 months, she would have been really torn up about whether or not to return to work. Totally worth the lost income for both of us.

To give some credit, our family members were very supportive after it sunk in that we had no financial worries. I think they all came from a place of concern over jealousy. It just took a few conversations.

And one of the few people that wasn’t a jerk about it took inspiration. She was pregnant around the same time, and realized she didn’t have to be at work right away either. So she also took unpaid months to be home with her baby. Different circumstances as her husband makes somewhere over $900K per year. But it was like a light bulb went off for her that she could even ask for unpaid time, she was seriously going to be at work as soon as her 3 months were up. Even though they definitely did not need her $60K salary.

She was the one friend that was sincerely kind about our decisions!

Wrenchturner

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #82 on: May 07, 2020, 08:27:13 PM »
I would hope that a family with a breadwinner making $900k a year would be able to negotiate favorable maternity/paternity leave!

Dicey

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #83 on: May 07, 2020, 08:29:54 PM »
I would hope that a family with a breadwinner making $900k a year would be able to negotiate favorable maternity/paternity leave!
Hell, I would hope that one making $90k a year would do the same thing if that's where their heart led.

clarkfan1979

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #84 on: May 11, 2020, 08:21:24 AM »
To me, the weird dynamic occurs in three phases.

Phase One: you avoid buying stupid things like status symbols that do not help your net worth. The most noticeable things to others is that you avoid the fancy car and fancy dinners. You are encouraged to do these things from others, but politely "opt-out". This typically results in people assuming that you are poor. People make fun of you, but it's light-hearted, so you do not take offense.

Phase two: other people get confused when your primary house is not a shit hole and then a couple years later you buy a rental house. You still do vacations but it's with credit card points. Instead of jokes, you start to get questions. How are you able to afford this when your car is only worth $3,000? Well, because I spend less money on liabilities, I have more money to spend on assets. It's pretty simple. Well, that is cool that you can do that, but I could never do that because.... (fill in the blank)

Phase Three: You get anger from co-workers because you start opting out of projects at work that do not interest you. Co-workers are struggling to pay their bills and cannot afford to get fired, so they take on all the shit jobs.  Instead of jokes from others, you get sarcastic comments along the lines of, "must be nice."

I had a college professor share a similar story to his class and I didn't believe him at the time. He was good friends with a co-worker for about 30 years. They were the same age, had similar careers and made the same amount of money. His friend inflated his lifestyle and he did not. After 30 years the friendship ended because my professor had too much money (10 million) in his late 60's. According to the other person the friendship was not sustainable because he had become an "evil rich person" and they could not affiliate with such a person. 

SwordGuy

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #85 on: May 11, 2020, 08:25:44 AM »
To me, the weird dynamic occurs in three phases.

Phase One: you avoid buying stupid things like status symbols that do not help your net worth. The most noticeable things to others is that you avoid the fancy car and fancy dinners. You are encouraged to do these things from others, but politely "opt-out". This typically results in people assuming that you are poor. People make fun of you, but it's light-hearted, so you do not take offense.

Phase two: other people get confused when your primary house is not a shit hole and then a couple years later you buy a rental house. You still do vacations but it's with credit card points. Instead of jokes, you start to get questions. How are you able to afford this when your car is only worth $3,000? Well, because I spend less money on liabilities, I have more money to spend on assets. It's pretty simple. Well, that is cool that you can do that, but I could never do that because.... (fill in the blank)

Phase Three: You get anger from co-workers because you start opting out of projects at work that do not interest you. Co-workers are struggling to pay their bills and cannot afford to get fired, so they take on all the shit jobs.  Instead of jokes from others, you get sarcastic comments along the lines of, "must be nice."

I had a college professor share a similar story to his class and I didn't believe him at the time. He was good friends with a co-worker for about 30 years. They were the same age, had similar careers and made the same amount of money. His friend inflated his lifestyle and he did not. After 30 years the friendship ended because my professor had too much money (10 million) in his late 60's. According to the other person the friendship was not sustainable because he had become an "evil rich person" and they could not affiliate with such a person.
Well said.

jinga nation

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #86 on: May 11, 2020, 09:12:45 AM »
To me, the weird dynamic occurs in three phases.

Phase One: you avoid buying stupid things like status symbols that do not help your net worth. The most noticeable things to others is that you avoid the fancy car and fancy dinners. You are encouraged to do these things from others, but politely "opt-out". This typically results in people assuming that you are poor. People make fun of you, but it's light-hearted, so you do not take offense.

Phase two: other people get confused when your primary house is not a shit hole and then a couple years later you buy a rental house. You still do vacations but it's with credit card points. Instead of jokes, you start to get questions. How are you able to afford this when your car is only worth $3,000? Well, because I spend less money on liabilities, I have more money to spend on assets. It's pretty simple. Well, that is cool that you can do that, but I could never do that because.... (fill in the blank)

Phase Three: You get anger from co-workers because you start opting out of projects at work that do not interest you. Co-workers are struggling to pay their bills and cannot afford to get fired, so they take on all the shit jobs.  Instead of jokes from others, you get sarcastic comments along the lines of, "must be nice."

I had a college professor share a similar story to his class and I didn't believe him at the time. He was good friends with a co-worker for about 30 years. They were the same age, had similar careers and made the same amount of money. His friend inflated his lifestyle and he did not. After 30 years the friendship ended because my professor had too much money (10 million) in his late 60's. According to the other person the friendship was not sustainable because he had become an "evil rich person" and they could not affiliate with such a person.

well explained. happened to me, over work and friendships.

phase 1: instead of buying many many computer toys, decided to invest into index funds, optimize savings. they called me a luddite. I built a god box and a HTPC, which are still running 9 years later without issues. No more toys after that except an Alienware laptop that I go for 50% off, years later my youngest kid uses for schoolwork.
phase 2: primary house not a shithole, not fancy either. but yes, started buying rental properties in cash. vacations with points/miles. optimize. did not get asked questions, but received ridiculous comments on wife's and mine old Hondas, when friends drive BMW "sports cars".
phase 3: exactly what @clarkfan1979 said. then I quit my job working with them and went to work at a place the friends always talked trash about. made a ton of good contacts and one super good personal friendship. leveraged that into better job security, moving into a forefront technology. Old friends became "friends" except for one who started reading the BogleHeads recommended books and deciding to put his financial life in order. He's my first close buddy in this country, I can call him out on his stupidity but we'll always be good friends. All the other "friends" I'm not in contact with, they'll ping me once in a blue moon for a job in my industry, have to tell them sorry I'm not hiring - friends don't make good co-workers, 99% of the time.

i'm happier now without the energy suckers, debbie downers.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2020, 10:54:54 AM by jinga nation »

talltexan

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Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
« Reply #87 on: May 12, 2020, 01:44:06 PM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

There is a lot of extravagance in that list, but the nanny is really an investment in earning power. If you want a big career, it enables the time away from family to make that work happen.

The Pool + Pool guy? Yeah, that is totally a luxury.

imadandylion

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #88 on: May 13, 2020, 10:27:19 AM »
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.

OtherJen

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #89 on: May 13, 2020, 04:38:12 PM »
I completely understand going on vacation and doing little besides lounging in the sun with a book or knitting, swimming, and taking leisurely hikes/bikes for a few days. I'm terrible at relaxing when I'm home. But we usually go camping at a state park when we want to do this, and that's only $30/night for the campsite plus whatever food we've brought with us and gas for the car ride.

Bloop Bloop

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #90 on: May 13, 2020, 08:42:43 PM »
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.

It's nice to get away from it all and get pampered.

If I have had a busy patch at work I don't want to go hiking or sightseeing or market browsing every day. I might want 5 uninterrupted days at the pool.

By the way, if you've ever had any experience of living where I do (Australia), you will know that an international resort is much, much cheaper than simply living in Australia. At least, when our dollar is at usual levels (around 0.8USD), it is. Now the exchange rate is less favourable so it might tip the balance, but for the most part getting pampered at an international resort is much cheaper than any sort of relaxation (say, a gym pass or pool pass + sauna + massage) here. That's what happens when wages are so high.

penguintroopers

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #91 on: May 14, 2020, 07:25:30 AM »
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.

It's nice to get away from it all and get pampered.

If I have had a busy patch at work I don't want to go hiking or sightseeing or market browsing every day. I might want 5 uninterrupted days at the pool.

By the way, if you've ever had any experience of living where I do (Australia), you will know that an international resort is much, much cheaper than simply living in Australia. At least, when our dollar is at usual levels (around 0.8USD), it is. Now the exchange rate is less favourable so it might tip the balance, but for the most part getting pampered at an international resort is much cheaper than any sort of relaxation (say, a gym pass or pool pass + sauna + massage) here. That's what happens when wages are so high.

This is what I was thinking too, but USA vs a Caribbean locale. I think even with airfare you can still net a cheaper vacation, and it even has the "oooh" factor a domestic vacation lacks.

Vertical Mode

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Re: What's your &quot;Oh wait, I'm the weird one&quot; story?
« Reply #92 on: May 14, 2020, 08:16:27 AM »
Had a car totaled thanks to a deer. Bought a new-to-us car for $6600 in cash, got back into the swing of things at work and started asking for overtime assignments again to knock out those student loans.

Boss: Oh, so you can pay for your new car payment?

Me: *internally screaming* No...

Similar scenario happened to me recently. Back in September I replaced by 1997 Honda CR-V that finally kicked the bucket with a Brand New to me 2011 Honda Ridgeline in which we paid cash. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and it is announced that we are having a 10% salary cut and I understandable voiced my dislike for the cut. Boss responds, "I know you just bought a new car and factored in those payments with your salary but we all have to take part in this "Shared Sacrifice" during these difficult times." I wish I could have seen the look on my own face when she said that." The other leaders in the room were all agreeing with the statement and piped in that they were going to struggle with their car/house payments. I just shook my head and wondered what has happened in their life experience that makes them think that a person would struggle to pay for a 8 year old vehicle.

It sounds to me like they were playing one-up-manship. They are all trying to show that the situation is worse for them, so you should feel sorry for them, so just grin and bear it.
I call that game "Who carries the biggest burden?"  It's exhausting to witness on any dimension (no, I'M busier, no *I* got less sleep, no *I* hurt myself more skiing, etc.).
So true. My husbands grandboss has been complaining (a lot) because her au pair had to return to [home country] to care for her sick mother who is dealing with covid19. Never mind that this woman is complaining to her much lower paid subordinates about how hard she has it, which is already a bad look. But now that the au pair is gone, she’s not sure how she’s going to make do with *only* the full time nanny.

Yeah I remember going for lunch many years ago my boss and her boss and they were BOTH trying to reason with me and amongst themselves  that $250,000 a year "isn't rich" and basically worked through the expenses.  Aside from the standard Beemer & Lexus-SUV notes, private school, and the semi custom-5/4-gated there was the small army on her domestic payroll... Two nannies (so you could PT them both), a maid, a gardner/landscaper/pool guy.

Here I was makin < 1/3 of that at the time (GOOD money to be sure) and working to get debt free and just growing stubble on my stash.

Technically, those two bosses are correct that $250,000 per year "isn't rich" - it's "high income"...as they are proving by enumerating quite the list of superfluous expenses. Hard to actually become "rich" with spending like that. It is truly amazing what some people consider "normal".

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #93 on: May 14, 2020, 08:39:56 AM »
Holidays in the sun.

 I get going overseas to sunny places with beautiful sea to swim in, stay in a fancy hotel and eat exotic food - maybe swim in their awesome pool.

 I just don't get what you are supposed to do on the 2nd day of the holiday ? Visit a couple of historical sites ? Great ! So that's the next couple of days sorted. There doesn't seem to be anything exciting to do on day 4+ ?

Do you mean when people pay thousands to stay in a resort? Because those are the people I don't get. They spend all this money to go to a beautiful country, then they only stay in the resort and eat their expensive food which isn't even 'exotic,' usually 'continental breakfast' and such. They don't bother to step foot outside and engage in the local culture and experience anything as long as there's a private pool and beach. Seems like one could easily do the same thing in a more domestic instead of international location.

It's nice to get away from it all and get pampered.

If I have had a busy patch at work I don't want to go hiking or sightseeing or market browsing every day. I might want 5 uninterrupted days at the pool.

By the way, if you've ever had any experience of living where I do (Australia), you will know that an international resort is much, much cheaper than simply living in Australia. At least, when our dollar is at usual levels (around 0.8USD), it is. Now the exchange rate is less favourable so it might tip the balance, but for the most part getting pampered at an international resort is much cheaper than any sort of relaxation (say, a gym pass or pool pass + sauna + massage) here. That's what happens when wages are so high.

This is what I was thinking too, but USA vs a Caribbean locale. I think even with airfare you can still net a cheaper vacation, and it even has the "oooh" factor a domestic vacation lacks.

Add in travel hacking with airline points and it gets even better.

One of the things I've noticed about getting out of town is it gets me off the hook with regard to housework, yard chores, and what I call "second shift" or Doing Things For Other People. The burden is exponentially larger on what I call the "hellidays", specifically FucksGiving and Giftmas. These are two artificial commercial events devoted to shopping, crap acquisition, debt accumulation, and professional football. I am interested in none of these activities but do enjoy feasts. A lot of work goes into setting up a feast, however I find that it's best if I avoid doing it. If I throw a dinner party at some other time in the social season, I can get on people's calendars and have a great time. But the same feast, given on a helliday for people who claim they have no other plans, will be doomed.

Last FucksGiving I cancelled my travel plans to throw a big turkey party because two of my best friends begged me to. I worked for days to get the ingredients, clean the house, roast the bird and prepare a gorgeous table. How many of my guests came? Not a single one! My daughter and her boyfriend no-showed the way she always does. One set of friends no-showed and ghosted me, not responding to phone or text messages. The last set of friends arrived 45 minutes late after I was cleaning up the uneaten feast, because they stopped to run an errand at a grocery store. Because of this experience, which is not an isolated event, I have decided to never throw a holiday party again. Working my ass off cleaning, cooking, and cut-cut-cutting up food for hours is fine when people show up (on time!) and partake of the event. If people don't want to show up on time, or at all, they shouldn't ask their friends to throw them a party. Any friend dumb enough to do that probably deserves what they get, so my response is to no longer do FucksGiving or Giftmas. I'm also not doing adult birthday parties.

Sadly, when I'm at home on the hellidays, people feel entitled to "drop in" because when they know I'm not entertaining they have a bizarre desire to be entertained by me in my home. So my cleaning and baking burden isn't any lighter.

If I get completely out of town I do have the opportunity to relax provided I don't visit relatives (airports during the hellidays aren't my idea of a good time). I also don't suffer from resentment, the root cause of which is an unrealistic expectation that people will behave differently from what's normal for them. There are people who can and do show up when they say they will. I've been focusing on them. However they are family groups who generally celebrate by themselves on the hellidays, so they always have other plans. It's best that I just take off and not try to participate in the hellidays. If I'm at a resort, a campsite, or a hotel with my service dog I'm treated far better by complete strangers than I am if I try to entertain friends or family.

Imma

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #94 on: May 14, 2020, 10:49:22 AM »
@TheGrimSqueaker people who don't turn up when you've cooked a feast for them aren't what I would consider friends! That's extremely rude.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #95 on: May 14, 2020, 10:54:34 AM »
@TheGrimSqueaker people who don't turn up when you've cooked a feast for them aren't what I would consider friends! That's extremely rude.

The incident resulted in me having a frank, candid talk with everyone involved. I politely stated my case and asked for change.

One apologized, realized she'd had her head up her butt, and made sustained and ongoing changes to become the kind of person who reciprocates and communicates. I kept her as a friend, and she even helped provide grooming to my service dog during quarantine. Another demonstrated that his head is still up his butt-- a bunch of excuse making followed by no change in behavior. He's an ex-friend. Those were the extremes. Another couple engaged in apology followed by no change of behavior. Ex friend.

I save my feast talents for my feast-loving friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Regarding the hellidays as feast opportunities was an error on my part and I won't repeat it. There are another 360-odd days of the year that can and should be feast opportunities. Wolfenoot, for example.

clarkfan1979

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #96 on: May 14, 2020, 11:56:32 AM »
Credit card points can be confusing for some.

My wife and I were living on Kauai and flew to Denver for a long weekend for a wedding for one of her really good friends in 2017. At church, her uncle (age 65) greeted us with hostility claiming that our plane tickets were too expensive for a weekend trip. My response was, "not really because we used points." He responded with a confused look on his face and walked away to his $50,000 truck. Good talk.

To be fair, the last time he went to Hawaii he probably spent $1500 for his plane ticket. However, this is no longer 1995.

I'm currently sitting on 146,000 Southwest points and a companion fare. I can fly from Denver to Kauai round-trip 6 times with 146,000 points. I can also bring a companion, so it is actually 12 round trip flights. I think that is very difficult for the average person to understand.




imadandylion

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #97 on: May 14, 2020, 12:54:26 PM »
Haha, I think I just realized I'm the 'weird one' here! Personally, I love going on international/domestic trips because I'm trying to see something, not 'get away' from things at home. There has been one trip that involved staying in a resort for a couple days to experience a private beach (but only as part of a vacation that also included doing other things and staying outside of the resort), and it's nice, but definitely a bit boring for me (also their food made me sick as opposed to eating food in town!). I also travel to experience food so it's hard for me to grasp the idea of eating in a resort which doesn't really represent the local food very well. And I love trying to speak the language and talk to people, see how other people live, etc. Different stokes. I know some people who are way busier than I am on vacation who fit in as many as 5-10 different countries in 2-3 weeks time frame. That's a bit too much for me to enjoy the actual location. Both styles of travel (the only-stay-in-resort and must-fit-in-as-many-countries as possible) are equally bizarre to me.

OtherJen

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Re: What's your "Oh wait, I'm the weird one" story?
« Reply #98 on: May 14, 2020, 03:10:05 PM »
Haha, I think I just realized I'm the 'weird one' here! Personally, I love going on international/domestic trips because I'm trying to see something, not 'get away' from things at home. There has been one trip that involved staying in a resort for a couple days to experience a private beach (but only as part of a vacation that also included doing other things and staying outside of the resort), and it's nice, but definitely a bit boring for me (also their food made me sick as opposed to eating food in town!). I also travel to experience food so it's hard for me to grasp the idea of eating in a resort which doesn't really represent the local food very well. And I love trying to speak the language and talk to people, see how other people live, etc. Different stokes. I know some people who are way busier than I am on vacation who fit in as many as 5-10 different countries in 2-3 weeks time frame. That's a bit too much for me to enjoy the actual location. Both styles of travel (the only-stay-in-resort and must-fit-in-as-many-countries as possible) are equally bizarre to me.

Yeah, all-inclusive resorts aren't really appealing to me. If I'm on a more active and/or distant vacation, I prefer to eat in local restaurants (or buy food in local grocery stores), walk or bike around neighborhoods, tour cultural sites, etc. However, I do sometimes need the do-nothing trips. State park camping is perfect for that.