Author Topic: wedding registry insanity  (Read 16715 times)

potatoface

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wedding registry insanity
« on: October 11, 2013, 06:54:14 PM »
The only time I went to a real wedding I was too young to have a job so I never had to get a gift. Working at a hotel I finally decided tonight to start checking out the websites of the couples we have staying with us. Seeing the links to the wedding registries is a real eye opener on how much people want useless crap. You see this junk in the stores all the time and think that no one can actually be buying it. I've been proven wrong again. Some of the highlights:

expandable Lasagna Lugger, $31.
cupcake stand: 30
wall mount grocery bag dispenser: 10.- Um, you're going to mount this on your wall? I just throw mine in a cabinet with the pet food
set of 2 wine glasses: 50
steel electric can opener: 50
pizza stone: 50
electric soap dispenser: 35
fancy dish rack: 50

And so on. Is this normal? It's bad enough that people spend a small fortune on things like this, now they want others do it for them. If all the things on the lists we're actually bought for the couple they'd need to rent a truck to haul it away.

JessieImproved

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2013, 07:24:07 PM »
We were actually quite practical with our registry, and those were way-way pre-Mustachian days.  We purposefully kept the list short, and received almost everything we registered for.  No china, just everyday dinnerware.  Stuff like a laundry sorter, door mounted ironing board, etc.  I would say almost all the useless things we received were unsolicited (matching set of cut crystal pitchers, sterling silver cake server anyone???).  Even then, we were living in an apartment and most of that stuff sat in boxes for nearly a year.  Almost a decade later, I'd say we still actively use about 80% of what we register for though, so we didn't come out too poorly.

cats

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2013, 08:15:46 PM »
I have definitely seen some crazy registries.  I remember a while ago, a friend of mine who was overall not too crazy in the money department, and who lived in a relatively small house, was getting married.  She described the process of registering for gifts to me and it sounds like it is (not surprisingly) really set up to get you to ask for a lot of crap.  She said they went to the store and were given a little electronic gun to go around and scan anything that they liked the look of.  Apparently they were encouraged to scan everything of interest, with the promise that they would be able to edit the list down at the end.  Of course, by the time they had gone through the store and scanned everything that was a "maybe" they had a huge list and editing it down was a pretty daunting task.  So they wound up with a bunch of stuff on the list that was of almost no interest to them and had just caught their eye as they walked through the store.

Most of my friends, I will say, have had fairly reasonable registries.  However, the one that I still get a chuckle out of is a friend who got married in a hurry at the courthouse.  AFTER the wedding, she had a bridal shower.  And was registered for all sorts of pretty fancy stuff (for a gauge, they had a set of Wedgewood china as their "casual" set--the same set my parents got as a gift to use for "formal" dinners).  They were living in a pretty tiny space at the time and I think moved in with her parents at some point not too long after....not sure where all that stuff would have gone!

Reepekg

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2013, 02:38:13 PM »
I will own up to being the proud owner of a wall mount grocery bag dispenser. The idea was to have a set out-of-the-way place for reusing plastic grocery bags in our apartment. Guess where our grocery bags are stored? On the floor underneath the wall mounted dispenser because its too much hassle to cram the bags into the stupid box. And we've moved on to cloth bags for grocery shopping.

At least I bought it for myself.

mlipps

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2013, 07:11:31 PM »
My boss tried to convince me to register for china & real silverware, among other things. When I pointed out that I had nowhere to put it in my apartment & no dining room to use it in, she told me I should store it in my parent's basement (they don't have one...) until I need it.

In the end, 2 people who came to our wedding bought things from our (small registry). I bought a few things from it that I wanted, deleted the stuff I added to fill it out with more stuff, and left a few things for our parents as gift ideas.

CALL 911

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2013, 07:15:13 PM »
I registered for (and got) 2 bags of Doritos, among other things. It was awesome!

galliver

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2013, 08:37:22 PM »
There are some things on there I can understand (wine glasses, bag dispenser), as long as the couple would actually use them and appreciate them (just because you aren't disciplined enough to pack up your bags for storage and prefer them to just be all over the place in a slovenly fashion, doesn't mean this couple is the same way). Some of the other stuff looks totally unnecessary; some is in between. Yes, these are all luxuries on various levels; this couple probably has their needs provided for if they are throwing a wedding (hopefully, anyway).

This forum seems to take issue with gift-giving, generally. I think this is a mistake. Of course the best gifts are hand-made (just got foodgasmic birthday cupcakes from my roomie :) ) or well-thought-out surprises (got my family a fancy-ish coffee machine last Christmas). But sometimes just getting exactly what you ask for is great, too. And it's incredibly pleasant to give someone that little touch of luxury in their life they weren't willing to give themselves. Ultimately, even if the value of exchanged items is equal, it's not a zero-sum game. The goodwill and good memories generated persist. And as tacky as wedding registries are, I think they actually serve the purpose of preventing the gifting and acquisition of mismatched junk that would happen if no one knew what exactly the couple wanted. If you think most of the registry is junk, pick the one thing that sounds good or ok to you. Or come up with your own idea. Or give money or a gift card. Or give nothing at all. Hopefully your host is not an entitled brat who believes guests should "at least cover their plate." That, I think is the real problem with gift-giving (when we/people take issue with the absence gifts rather than experiencing joy in the presence of gifts).

Kira

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2013, 08:47:18 PM »
Friend of mine got married while in college, and all of her friends were in college, and her family wasn't well off and neither was his - to the point that the reception was in the church basement and her mom made all the food. But she registered for a ton of shit, including a 12 place setting dish set where each plate, bowl, etc was at least $40. Not the setting, just each piece! She was really pissed off that she only got some random pieces instead of the whole 12 place settings. Nobody invited had any money so I still don't know who she thought was going to buy this. And no we didn't get thank-you notes.

I did set up a registry when I got married a few months ago and what surprised me was that people bought all the high-priced stuff first. The good knives, luggage, etc were all bought very quickly. However it was the little stuff that I actually wanted - cutting boards, cheese slicer, etc - so when we got duplicates I took them back and bought the little things. I thought I was being helpful by putting lower priced stuff on there but not much under $20 was actually purchased. I guess people want to buy one 'good' gift than three smaller ones!

GuitarStv

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2013, 11:15:37 AM »
Maybe the hope is that if they do a registry the useless junk they get will at least be useless junk they wanted?  We ended up with some wacky crap given to us at our wedding . . . Crystal bowls, crystal picture frames, silver serving trays, etc.

Eric

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2013, 01:28:34 PM »
I registered for (and got) 2 bags of Doritos, among other things. It was awesome!

Nice!  We registered for some Fiddle Faddle or other caramel covered popcorn with nuts, and also got it!

As for other weddings, I always just give cash.  Way easier.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2013, 01:30:38 PM by Eric »

SisterX

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2013, 02:00:20 PM »
This forum seems to take issue with gift-giving, generally. I think this is a mistake. Of course the best gifts are hand-made (just got foodgasmic birthday cupcakes from my roomie :) ) or well-thought-out surprises (got my family a fancy-ish coffee machine last Christmas). But sometimes just getting exactly what you ask for is great, too. And it's incredibly pleasant to give someone that little touch of luxury in their life they weren't willing to give themselves. Ultimately, even if the value of exchanged items is equal, it's not a zero-sum game. The goodwill and good memories generated persist. And as tacky as wedding registries are, I think they actually serve the purpose of preventing the gifting and acquisition of mismatched junk that would happen if no one knew what exactly the couple wanted. If you think most of the registry is junk, pick the one thing that sounds good or ok to you. Or come up with your own idea. Or give money or a gift card. Or give nothing at all. Hopefully your host is not an entitled brat who believes guests should "at least cover their plate." That, I think is the real problem with gift-giving (when we/people take issue with the absence gifts rather than experiencing joy in the presence of gifts).

This.  Yes.  I have noticed that on these forums, most acceptable forms of gift-giving are frowned upon.  And yes, I do see major problems with people giving Stuff & Junk as an expression of love, but that doesn't mean it's also always a bad thing.  For instance, my husband and I both cook.  We almost never go out to eat because we both enjoy cooking so much.  But through college, then periods of variable employment, and now 1/2 back to school for another degree and a baby on the way, our kitchen items budget is (even when stretched) Value Village rather than Williams Sonoma.  So the things we registered for were, for the most part, way beyond our reach for quite a while.  I felt bad registering for expensive things but our families understood.  One entire branch of my family banded together to get us the knife set we asked for, which gets used daily and I send a mental thanks to those family members at least once a week for their generosity.  It felt fantastic to take most of our old knives back to Value Village so that, hopefully, some other poor college kids will be able to use them until they can afford better.
It's been the same with almost everything we got for our wedding, and certainly with everything we did register for which we received.  I think the hate for gift-giving on this site is a bit out of proportion.  The only time I think outrage is called for is if the gift-giving is a) disproportionate to the giver's income/means, b) if the gift is, indeed, completely useless, or c) if it comes with strings attached.  A well intentioned and well received gift can make both parties feel closer to each other, and what's so bad about that?

Cinder

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2013, 02:22:34 PM »
One of the DW's aunts got us a $100 serving tray, that was NOT on our registry....  We returned it for store credit and put it toward some nice pots and pans that no one had pickedup for us.  This was pre-mustachian days, so I'd probably just look for some old quality Stainless Steel/cast iron stuff now instead, but she sure does like the nonstick calphalon pans! 

Jessie

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2013, 04:03:39 PM »
I'm 26 and between 2012 and 2013 my boyfriend and I will have been to seven weddings. Some friends, some family, and I'm extremely happy for all of them and have enjoyed celebrating such important moments in their life with them. But it has crossed my mind more than once that the traditional registry really doesn't make sense for a lot of them anymore to me, because all but one couple were not moving into a house together from their parents home (and didn't have said items already) most had been living together for a couple years and would have presumably had what they needed. Its just dripping with irony compared to the thought I had that your home will cease to look like a crate and barrel add if you keep buying shit, so why would you want to effectively duplicate the contents of your kitchen??

Debbie M

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2013, 08:41:26 PM »
At my uncle's third wedding, he begged people not to buy anything, as they were having enough trouble trying to pare down to fit two households into one house.  However, people insisted on getting things anyway--my aunt and uncle would have done better to have had a list of small things--or of things from stores near them and thus easy to return.  Others have tried charities, but they're not as fun--people want to give something fun to the new couple.  Now that I'm fifty, I no longer have several grandparents who would want to spend loads of money on something special, but that's also an issue for many.

Now that I have a quite a load of clutter, I have great difficulty imagining any traditional gift I would want.  Maybe if someone knew some brand of long-lasting sheets they liked.  Otherwise, the only good ideas I had were things to help with the wedding, like my mom could make one of her fancy challas, my brother could DJ, my sister is always begging to help with the dress, my dad would be good with logistics, etc.

The silly prepared food ideas are great.  I also used to give play dough in addition to my real present.

But to the question of whether it is normal--yes, it is.  One of my friends explained that at Target they give you a gun-shaped price scanner, and they ended up going a little overboard because it was so fun to use the scanner.  I don't think anyone expects to get everything on their lists--they just want to give people a lot of options.

But like a lot of other wedding traditions, yes, things that make very little sense and are super expensive are normal.  You don't have to go for them yourself (unless your spouse or some other important party wants them), but just get used to them for other people.

Brad_H

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #14 on: October 17, 2013, 12:03:50 PM »
We bought ourselves 6 settings of Spode Nectar for $74 each and don't regret it one bit; we use them every day and they are microwave & dishwasher safe, light, thin, smooth, strong and beautiful.  These are one of My Favorite Things.  Bone Chine is great stuff and everyone should be using it every day.

My wife has mostly Nordic Ware for her cooking, you may be "$60 for a 10" skillet?!?" yes, oh Yes.


mgreczyn

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #15 on: October 17, 2013, 02:47:09 PM »
The only time I went to a real wedding I was too young to have a job so I never had to get a gift. Working at a hotel I finally decided tonight to start checking out the websites of the couples we have staying with us. Seeing the links to the wedding registries is a real eye opener on how much people want useless crap. You see this junk in the stores all the time and think that no one can actually be buying it. I've been proven wrong again. Some of the highlights:

expandable Lasagna Lugger, $31.
cupcake stand: 30
wall mount grocery bag dispenser: 10.- Um, you're going to mount this on your wall? I just throw mine in a cabinet with the pet food
set of 2 wine glasses: 50
steel electric can opener: 50
pizza stone: 50
electric soap dispenser: 35
fancy dish rack: 50

And so on. Is this normal? It's bad enough that people spend a small fortune on things like this, now they want others do it for them. If all the things on the lists we're actually bought for the couple they'd need to rent a truck to haul it away.
Is it insanity?  We have everything on this list except the first item, use them all tons.  Pizza stone is money, BTW, you can make some kick@$$ za with one of those.  Ours dates back to, you guessed it, our wedding.  Our bag dispenser is actually mounted on a door, but whatever.

CU Tiger

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #16 on: October 17, 2013, 08:02:04 PM »
I have nothing against gift giving unless you have a debt emergency. I like giving and receiving gifts, but in my poor past, gifts were one of the things that went by the wayside.

I also do not like giving people things that will become clutter, so if there is a wedding registry I always buy from it.

For babies, I knit a sweater or make a quilt. Actually, quilts make good gifts for everyone, if the recipient understands that a quilt is not just a blanket, it is HOURS of my life poured into somethimg beautiful and useful

SwordGuy

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #17 on: October 17, 2013, 08:30:18 PM »
We didn't have the gall to use a wedding registry when we got married.  We neither asked for, nor encouraged, gifts of any sort.  I think that asking for gifts is simply inappropriate behavior for an adult.

If you don't know the person well enough to know what at least one of them wants or needs, you really have no business at their wedding to begin with. 

Just my opinion on the entire matter...

kt

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #18 on: October 17, 2013, 11:03:21 PM »
We didn't have the gall to use a wedding registry when we got married.  We neither asked for, nor encouraged, gifts of any sort.  I think that asking for gifts is simply inappropriate behavior for an adult.

If you don't know the person well enough to know what at least one of them wants or needs, you really have no business at their wedding to begin with. 

Just my opinion on the entire matter...

as I rarely talk about stuff I want and there is little I need, I give my parents a list of things I have thought of that they could get me for my birthday/christmas. but i guess if they don't know me, they shouldn't be getting me presents and i certainly oughtn't invite them to my wedding. guess it'll be just me at my wedding then as i also sometimes give my boyfriend ideas.

my issue with your thinking is that some people will want to get gifts. if you don't give them ideas they may get you stuff you don't want and most people who want to give gifts, want you to like them. they certainly don't intend to burden you with something.

i like this blog article for a discussion of gift giving (although it is focussing on the issue of christmas gifting):
http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2009/11/10/is-it-time-to-ban-christmas-presents/

Most common [in ceremonial gift exchange] are gifts upon marriage or coming-of-age ceremonies and indeed, to my logic, this makes social and financial sense, as in effect itís a form of prudent banking.

For example, when someone is young and starting out in married life, others give cash or gifts to them as a start up fund, which is a net inflow of goods.

As people age and tend to get more financially stable, they then give gifts to newlyweds, effectively paying the system back.

Itís actually an efficient method for society to focus cash where itís needed.


However, gift giving can create an obligation (particularly outside the above situations where presents are directly exchanged 1 for 1)

Christmas gifts are often a Ďzero-sumí game, where often people just give gifts of similar values to each other. e.g.

    Sharon gives a £20 necklace to Violet
    Violet gives £20 earrings to Sharon.

The net result is

    Sharon has spent £20 to get earrings
    Violet has spent £20 to get a necklace.

Yet the problem here is Sharonís loaded and Violetís skint. Without the gift-giving obligation, would Violet have really chosen to spend her hard-earned £20 for a necklace?






Rural

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #19 on: October 18, 2013, 06:18:47 AM »
We married as adults with two full households to try to merge, needing nothing. We asked (through my mother, who spoke to invited guests who inquired) that those who wished to give, make a donation to a specific charity in our names -- we were volunteering for this charity when we met, so it made sense to everyone.

We got a few carefully chosen gifts -- fossils from one friend, rocks collected from the old homeplace from one elderly aunt, wedding photos volunteered by a relative who's a professional photographer, a handmade cake topper from an artist relative (which we used on the wedding cake), and service as officiant by a close friend. No one gave us any useless crap, those who had financial difficulties could just let us assume they gave to the charity whether they did or not, and the charity made out like gangbusters, so it was a win all around.

MrsPete

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #20 on: October 25, 2013, 02:02:54 PM »
I've gotta disagree with those who say wedding gifts are all useless.  I've been married 23 years, and I still use many -- no, make that most -- of the gifts I received at my wedding.  I'm still using my Pfaltzgraff china, a set of knives, several small appliances, casserole dishes, and more.  Daily glassware, well, we've broken that.  We're on about our third set of glasses.  And linens have worn out and have been replaced.  But I remember the kindness people showed in choosing nice things for us as we started our married life.

Registering for gifts is a helpful thing for wedding-goers.  I may know a person fairly well from work or church . . . but that doesn't mean I know whether she has a queen or king-sized bed, or the name of the set of silverware she is collecting.  I might be thinking, "Oh, I like that great knife set", but for all I know, she received one last Christmas and would really rather have a very nice cutting board to compliment what she already has. 

The problem with registries comes into play when people register for things that are foolishly expensive.  Most of us balk at the sight of $50 salad plates, but we might happily plunk down that same $50 if it were buying two whole place settings of FiestaWare.  It's a matter of value for the dollar.  Even if it's a gift, we want to feel that we're getting a good bargain. 


abhe8

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #21 on: October 25, 2013, 09:05:21 PM »
i admit...i love beautiful things. and well made, useful, make-work-easy-tools and things that will last forever. yes, i registerd for expensive knives and china and pots/pans and towels. and i still have them. i use them. i love them. i have not replaced them nor do i plan to. my plastic bags live in an empty cabinet, running amuck. to each his own. :) i think a wedding is a wonderful time to celebrate and honor a new marriage and life and family. that said, i dont' buy junk, even if they register for it.

SavingMon(k)ey

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #22 on: October 25, 2013, 10:06:30 PM »
I believe this site is very relevant to this discussion:

http://www.sokindregistry.org/

As I myself get ready to get married and have a totally non-traditional wedding, I ran across this site and thought it is very, very cool. It's an alternative gift registry that also allows for some of the more traditional "stuff" that might actually be needed. I am really hoping to use this site (just shared it with my partner) and ask for some things like help from our green-thumbed friends in setting up our new garden, or other things related to their talents. While we may need some tools and a couple of things for the household, we have most of what we need in that department, having lived together for 2 years already. What do you all think of this approach?

MrsPete

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2013, 10:57:16 AM »
i admit...i love beautiful things. and well made, useful, make-work-easy-tools and things that will last forever. yes, i registerd for expensive knives and china and pots/pans and towels. and i still have them. i use them. i love them. i have not replaced them nor do i plan to. my plastic bags live in an empty cabinet, running amuck. to each his own. :) i think a wedding is a wonderful time to celebrate and honor a new marriage and life and family. that said, i dont' buy junk, even if they register for it.
I agree with several points:

- I like having beautiful things.
- I like well-made products that last, if not a lifetime, at least a long time rather than items that're semi-disposable.
- Working with quality items makes chores more pleasant.

I disagree on this point:

- You seem to imply that expensive = quality.  While most quality items do tend to cost more, not everything that's expensive is well-made. 

As for the plastic bags running amuck in your drawers, here's the best solution I've found:  Save a deep Kleenex box -- the kind with an opening on the top, not the over-the-side opening -- and shove your bags into it.  I have one for typical grocery-sized bags, one for tiny bags, and one for extra-large bags.   Free and nicer than a drawer full of bags. 

ritchie70

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #24 on: October 31, 2013, 12:28:42 PM »
My wife and I registered at Sears and Kohls when we got married 13 years ago. I had a fairly complete kitchen but she had come out of her prior relationship with very little, so it was mostly oddball stuff or replacements for things that I had but were shabby.

My sister is getting married in a few weeks, and as she and her husband-to-be are both full blown adults who have full households of stuff, they asked for no gifts, but said if someone felt a gift was required, please give cash and said that they will split whatever they get 50/50 with the American Cancer Society.

sneeds

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #25 on: October 31, 2013, 02:16:09 PM »
My husband and I recently married at the ages of 30 and 32. We were merging two households into one and definitely did not need kitchen appliances or other typical housewares. We created a very small registry, but when most friends or family members asked what we'd like for gifts we spread the word that we'd really prefer gift cards to Home Depot. We have a fixer-upper of a house and we've been able to do many projects now by using those gift cards.

A friend of mine is getting married this weekend and they mostly registered for camping gear. They also didn't need any housewares. I'm more than happy to buy them some camping gear because we love going camping with them.   

mm1970

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #26 on: November 02, 2013, 09:13:16 AM »
The only time I went to a real wedding I was too young to have a job so I never had to get a gift. Working at a hotel I finally decided tonight to start checking out the websites of the couples we have staying with us. Seeing the links to the wedding registries is a real eye opener on how much people want useless crap. You see this junk in the stores all the time and think that no one can actually be buying it. I've been proven wrong again. Some of the highlights:

expandable Lasagna Lugger, $31.
cupcake stand: 30
wall mount grocery bag dispenser: 10.- Um, you're going to mount this on your wall? I just throw mine in a cabinet with the pet food
set of 2 wine glasses: 50
steel electric can opener: 50
pizza stone: 50
electric soap dispenser: 35
fancy dish rack: 50

And so on. Is this normal? It's bad enough that people spend a small fortune on things like this, now they want others do it for them. If all the things on the lists we're actually bought for the couple they'd need to rent a truck to haul it away.

The pizza stone?  If they use it, totally worth it.  It's great for baking pizza and crusty bread.  If they don't cook?  SOOO stupid.  We had one, never used it, donated it.  10 years later got another one (when we started cooking!) and it's been great.

oldtoyota

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #27 on: November 03, 2013, 05:43:44 PM »
We bought ourselves 6 settings of Spode Nectar for $74 each and don't regret it one bit; we use them every day and they are microwave & dishwasher safe, light, thin, smooth, strong and beautiful.  These are one of My Favorite Things.  Bone Chine is great stuff and everyone should be using it every day.

That is beautiful china. Stunning.

We registered for china and used it every day. When we use our various pieces, I often think happily of the people who helped us get what we needed.

Another idea I like a lot--but would not be acceptable in many places--is to have guests bring a dish for the reception. The reception ends up being a potluck and the community helps out the couple by bringing food. I think this may be an old Southern tradition, but I am not certain. It sounded lovely.


PS: One person I knew registered for a **sofa*. It cost $2,000. That said a lot about the couple.



ArcticaMT6

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #28 on: November 06, 2013, 11:37:01 AM »
I had a friend register for a $150 TRASH CAN. Seriously. It's something you literally throw garbage into, and they wanted one that was $150.

I wish I would have known a few things at the time when we had our wedding. We registered for a whole set of non-stick Calphalon pans, only to realize that we don't need 10 pots/pans. Sold all of those off, and ended up with 3 stainless tri-core pots and one cast iron skillet. We also registered (and got) a Calphalon knife set. Had I know what I do now, I probably would have gone with a total of 3 much better knives. Chef's knife, paring knife, and bread knife. Those 3 will cover 95% of what you will need a knife for.

I was able to successfully stop my wife from registering for fine china. We got regular plates instead. We even recently found that Bed Bath and Beyond was having a sale on china that was exactly what she wanted originally, so with a 20% off coupon, we got all the "china" we could ever want for about $30.

rocksinmyhead

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #29 on: November 06, 2013, 01:49:24 PM »
I believe this site is very relevant to this discussion:

http://www.sokindregistry.org/

As I myself get ready to get married and have a totally non-traditional wedding, I ran across this site and thought it is very, very cool. It's an alternative gift registry that also allows for some of the more traditional "stuff" that might actually be needed. I am really hoping to use this site (just shared it with my partner) and ask for some things like help from our green-thumbed friends in setting up our new garden, or other things related to their talents. While we may need some tools and a couple of things for the household, we have most of what we need in that department, having lived together for 2 years already. What do you all think of this approach?

I just heard about this site recently and I think it sounds AMAZING! I will seriously consider going this route if it's still around when I get married (hopefully sometime in the next couple of years...)

Quote
I had a friend register for a $150 TRASH CAN. Seriously. It's something you literally throw garbage into, and they wanted one that was $150.

To be fair I'm actually having a weirdly hard time finding a non-shitty trash can. The spring-loaded lid on our plastic one is always popping open (and we REALLY need a lid, because our kitchen is teeny tiny so the can can't fit in a cupboard and if the lid is open it really smells). Like, WHY are trash cans so expensive?!? I agree that it seems nuts because they are just a relatively simple box you throw trash into... sigh.

CommonCents

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #30 on: November 06, 2013, 02:04:25 PM »
Some of the highlights:
expandable Lasagna Lugger, $31.
cupcake stand: 30
wall mount grocery bag dispenser: 10.-
set of 2 wine glasses: 50
steel electric can opener: 50
pizza stone: 50
electric soap dispenser: 35
fancy dish rack: 50

And so on. Is this normal?

My pizza stone means I make delicious homemade pizzas rather than ordering out or sticking a less delicious (and slightly more costly) frozen pizza in the oven.  It's mustachian.

Cupcake stand I bet is because they are planning to have cupcakes instead of cake at their wedding and save moula.  We had pies.  (Although, we used a few stands the place had and borrowed a few to make a display.  With the lego bride & groom cake toppers my brother gave me as a joke.)

Electric can opener, well it's expensive but maybe it's got a lifetime warranty and won't break like ours wants to do.  (And electric over hand, maybe they have issues with strength in wrist.  My dad can't make that motion - to crack open ice cubes out of the tray or open jars).

I'll also confess we like wine and have nice Riedel wine glasses.

That said, yes, some are crazy items and in general the trend is anti-mustachian and gimme.  But you never know.

ArcticaMT6

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #31 on: November 06, 2013, 02:43:16 PM »

To be fair I'm actually having a weirdly hard time finding a non-shitty trash can. The spring-loaded lid on our plastic one is always popping open (and we REALLY need a lid, because our kitchen is teeny tiny so the can can't fit in a cupboard and if the lid is open it really smells). Like, WHY are trash cans so expensive?!? I agree that it seems nuts because they are just a relatively simple box you throw trash into... sigh.

It took me a while to find a small trash can with a lid. All I wanted was a 4-7gal black trash can with a lid. The only ones I could find for a long time that small with a lid were stainless and were about $30 or $40. I had to settle with one of those with the dome lids that spin around and don't really cover up smell too much.

Because we have separate recycling, trash, and food waste bins, I didn't need the massive ones that I already had as they never filled up before stinking up the house.

Torgo

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #32 on: November 12, 2013, 05:10:54 PM »
I was just to the wedding of a friend... she and her sweetie had a really great system.  They set up an online registry in which all the gifts were actually particular sums of cash, and earmarked towards paying for particular parts of their honeymoon in Ecuador (before you freak out about that, that is where her sweetie is from and his family lives).  The two of them already have basically everything they need domestically.

I dropped $50 to pay for their big steak dinner at his favorite restaurant in the area.  Not a bad gift, I think.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2013, 05:13:54 PM by Torgo »

willn

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #33 on: November 12, 2013, 06:48:31 PM »
We got married when I was 45 and wife was 38. Had everything we needed but we also have 15 aunts and uncles on one side and 5 on the other.  Cousins, second cousins, ranging from 0 years old to 55 years old. 

Everyone was so glad to get us married, I guess they figured it would never happen, but the pressure to register for tons of stuff was enormous.  We got lots of stuff we don't use and returned, and lots of stuff we use every day.  And enough money to pay for our honeymoon.  It was an insane pile of gifts and cards.

Thing is, people REALLY want to show you love and this is one way they can do it.

We also threw a hell of a wedding.  300 some people. Badminton, volleyball, pool party, truckloads of amazing food, a few minor celebrities made it into the pool in their nice clothes.  It was the memory of a lifetime.  We spent about 30K and it was worth every penny. 

jybaatl35

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #34 on: November 30, 2013, 07:25:26 PM »
I HATE registries and the stupid showers that go with them.  Really?  We have to throw the bride a party to buy her the useless crap she "needs" like a $500 mixer and a $700 vacuum?

And then we give her gifts at the wedding too?

Expensive weddings are for narcissists and attention seekers.

bacchi

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #35 on: December 01, 2013, 01:10:13 PM »
But it has crossed my mind more than once that the traditional registry really doesn't make sense for a lot of them anymore to me, because all but one couple were not moving into a house together from their parents home (and didn't have said items already) most had been living together for a couple years and would have presumably had what they needed.

Yes, this is true for many couples. When a close friend got married, their combined income was well over $350,000. Realizing that they could buy anything on any reasonable gift registry, they created a charity registry. As they said in the invitation, the true gift was being there to celebrate the event with them.

tpozywio

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #36 on: December 02, 2013, 10:26:51 AM »
We were told to register for extra stuff "so that you're older, more traditional aunts will have something they can get you"
We literally left the store with 3 items scanned, and added the rest of the things we actually needed/wanted online

Elaine

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #37 on: December 02, 2013, 10:53:40 AM »
What the hell is a lasagna lugger? I imagine it's some sort of trailer for your car to transport massive lasagnas. Please tell me that I'm right.

MilwaukeeStubble

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #38 on: December 02, 2013, 11:56:09 AM »
What the hell is a lasagna lugger? I imagine it's some sort of trailer for your car to transport massive lasagnas. Please tell me that I'm right.

You're right :)

Elaine

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #39 on: December 02, 2013, 12:13:02 PM »
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

aglassman

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Re: wedding registry insanity
« Reply #40 on: December 02, 2013, 12:40:02 PM »
I'm still kind of miffed at dw's thought process on our wedding registry.  It was of the mindset "people will just buy us this stuff!".  I wanted to go more conservative on things like plate, knife and kitchen items.  Our friends and relatives aren't rich, so It felt like kind of an insult to be asking them to buy us such nice stuff.  DW went so overboard on the "china",  something I didn't even want, that we only got one set... from my my mom.  Now I'm getting one set of china from my mom for christmas every year.  Maybe I can host a fancy meal in 5 or so years!