Author Topic: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested  (Read 14898 times)

zephyr911

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Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« on: May 11, 2016, 09:53:25 AM »
After gifting 100 British pounds to friends on their wedding day, an unnamed woman claims to have received the following note in the mail:

“We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.”

Apparently they had heard about her receiving some kind of inheritance and felt entitled to a greater share of it.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/11/bride-and-groom-write-guest-demanding-adjustment-100-gift

slugline

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2016, 10:14:48 AM »
The correct response would have been an email with no text but with an attached audio file recording of boisterous laughter.

MgoSam

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2016, 10:16:30 AM »
I would have laughed if they sent an envelope with two bits in it.

Honestly don't know if there is more of a backstory to this, but I think the OP had the right response of responding with, "Was this a mistake?"

Warlord1986

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2016, 10:40:49 AM »
Well. Someone's parents didn't teach them any manners. How special.

Some of the suggestions in the article are pretty good. I particularly liked: "One user wrote: “I would email back but BCC any mutual friends in so they are able to see the email for themselves. That is entitled and grabby. It’s a gift not an obligation and many people wouldn’t have given so much to an ex-colleague.”"

serpentstooth

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2016, 10:44:08 AM »
The correct response would have been an email with no text but with an attached audio file recording of boisterous laughter.

I will have to check my Emily Post, but I thought the correct response was a Polaroid of the recipient flipping the bird at the camera?

TheAnonOne

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2016, 10:52:40 AM »
I would probably...

A. Do nothing and look at them funny for the rest of my life... (though it was an **EX** work-mate, so you might never see them again)
B. Call them and ask what's up...

What I wouldn't do...

A-Z. Publicly shame them in front of their friends. It just isn't necessary, and it especially isn't necessary if they work in the same field...

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2016, 11:02:41 AM »
The correct response would have been an email with no text but with an attached audio file recording of boisterous laughter.

I will have to check my Emily Post, but I thought the correct response was a Polaroid of the recipient flipping the bird at the camera?

Indeed not! On that side of the pond, one flips two fingers simultaneously (the index and the middle). It's kind of like a V-for-victory gesture, but with the palm facing oneself.

Some historians believe the gesture is a reference to the Battle of Agincourt, where English archers were instrumental in defeating the French. Apparently, in the early stage of the invasion, the peasant longbowmen were not taken seriously by the French defenders who publicly threatened to punish the uppity English archers by cutting off the fingers they used to draw their bows, and who may in fact have mutilated prisoners of war that way. Others assert that the gesture originated in English brothels and was intended as an obscene visual reference.

Either way, the two-finger salute is an appropriate response if there's going to be a photo.

patchyfacialhair

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2016, 11:12:25 AM »
If I were the gift-giver, I would simply call the bride and ask if the additional note was a mistake.

If the bride really did send the message and was sincere with her request for more money, that's where I'd laugh and (I hate to admit it) shamelessly put the bride on blast, at least within my immediate friend and family group. Then I'd cut off all contact and continue being awesome.

If it was a mistake (I dunno, perhaps a jaded friend/family member sent it without the bride knowing), I'd rest easy knowing that I brought it to her attention.

Nederstash

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2016, 11:49:20 AM »
The correct response would have been an email with no text but with an attached audio file recording of boisterous laughter.

Let me make that easy for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxXEPk3dzFg

shelivesthedream

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2016, 01:19:02 AM »
When we got married one couple jointly gave us £100 in cash as well as a present. We were mortified as it felt like far too much and agonised over what to do with the money. In the end we kept the cash in a drawer while we decided what to do and, when the couple announced their own engagement six months later, decided to give them back the cash (the exact same notes) at their wedding. Balance restored to the world.

forummm

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2016, 07:14:56 AM »
Well. Someone's parents didn't teach them any manners. How special.

And here I thought all British people were stereotypically overly polite. Although, the note is phrased in an exceedingly polite and proper tone. It's just the message that's shockingly rude.

zephyr911

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #11 on: May 12, 2016, 07:17:49 AM »
Well. Someone's parents didn't teach them any manners. How special.

And here I thought all British people were stereotypically overly polite. Although, the note is phrased in an exceedingly polite and proper tone. It's just the message that's shockingly rude.
Well, they did poshly conquer the better part of the known world at one point, probably while saying "please" and "pardon the massacre, old chap" ;)

shelivesthedream

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #12 on: May 12, 2016, 08:19:35 AM »
Well. Someone's parents didn't teach them any manners. How special.

And here I thought all British people were stereotypically overly polite. Although, the note is phrased in an exceedingly polite and proper tone. It's just the message that's shockingly rude.

Yep, that's what being British is really about - being shockingly rude to people in such a polite way that they can't call you out for it. See: Abigail's Party.

UnleashHell

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2016, 08:53:43 AM »
I'd adjust the amount.


right up their fucking jacksie.


In a very polite British way.

Cromacster

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2016, 09:07:38 AM »
“We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.”

Haha I'd respond saying "Sure thing, the check has been canceled!  Enjoy the marriage!"

swick

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2016, 09:19:25 AM »
eh, If I was still having to pay off national debt from the 1700's, I'd be feeling skint too.

Just going to leave this Link to Extra History's South Sea Bubble  here: https://youtu.be/k1kndKWJKB8?list=PLhyKYa0YJ_5Aq7g4bil7bnGi0A8gTsawu

Felicity

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2016, 09:37:25 AM »
Well. Someone's parents didn't teach them any manners. How special.

And here I thought all British people were stereotypically overly polite. Although, the note is phrased in an exceedingly polite and proper tone. It's just the message that's shockingly rude.

Yep, that's what being British is really about - being shockingly rude to people in such a polite way that they can't call you out for it. See: Abigail's Party.

Knowing that play exists makes my life more complete now. I know what I'm watching tonight... XD

Kitsune

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2016, 09:47:29 AM »
“We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.”

Haha I'd respond saying "Sure thing, the check has been canceled!  Enjoy the marriage!"

"Please see the enclosed envelope for an adjustment that reflects our most profound wishes for your future, as well as the sum total of all birthday and holiday presents we had planned over the coming years." In the envelope, a note saying 'are you kidding me? Grow up, and fuck off'.


Cassie

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2016, 05:58:31 PM »
I would have cancelled the check.

MrsPete

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2016, 03:25:12 PM »
Yep, that's what being British is really about - being shockingly rude to people in such a polite way that they can't call you out for it. See: Abigail's Party.
Hey, hey, hey, we Southerners excel in that regard! 

PencilThinStash

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2016, 07:49:12 AM »
Yep, that's what being British is really about - being shockingly rude to people in such a polite way that they can't call you out for it. See: Abigail's Party.
Hey, hey, hey, we Southerners excel in that regard!

See the phrase: "Bless your heart"

MrDelane

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2016, 08:03:02 AM »
Yep, that's what being British is really about - being shockingly rude to people in such a polite way that they can't call you out for it. See: Abigail's Party.
Hey, hey, hey, we Southerners excel in that regard!

See the phrase: "Bless your heart"

Ha.
Nothing quite like hearing a 'kindly' elderly southern woman smile and say 'Bless your heart.'
Took me a few years in the south to realize it usually wasn't meant as a compliment.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #22 on: May 19, 2016, 08:42:05 AM »
Yep, that's what being British is really about - being shockingly rude to people in such a polite way that they can't call you out for it. See: Abigail's Party.
Hey, hey, hey, we Southerners excel in that regard!

See the phrase: "Bless your heart"

Ha.
Nothing quite like hearing a 'kindly' elderly southern woman smile and say 'Bless your heart.'
Took me a few years in the south to realize it usually wasn't meant as a compliment.

When I was visiting my Texan relatives I used to get my heart blessed quite often. I thought they were being quite kind until someone filled me in and told me that "Bless your heart" is Southernese for "You fucked up".

zephyr911

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2016, 08:47:14 AM »
"Please see the enclosed envelope for an adjustment that reflects our most profound wishes for your future, as well as the sum total of all birthday and holiday presents we had planned over the coming years." In the envelope, a note saying 'are you kidding me? Grow up, and fuck off'.
Now, now. There's no need to be hostile. Just include a handful of loose change from under the couch cushions, and call it good.

I'm a red panda

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2016, 09:16:40 AM »

When I was visiting my Texan relatives I used to get my heart blessed quite often. I thought they were being quite kind until someone filled me in and told me that "Bless your heart" is Southernese for "You fucked up".

You really need tone on that phrase. Sometimes it can mean "Oh my goodness, what a difficult time you are going through, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help"  -other times "Are you effing kidding me, you're an idiot"

At least the area of Texas I was raised in used it that way :)

Capsu78

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #25 on: May 19, 2016, 09:36:36 AM »
The correct response would have been an email with no text but with an attached audio file recording of boisterous laughter.

Let me make that easy for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxXEPk3dzFg

I have watched that clip a dozen times now and I am still laughing!   Of course, I also "totally got" PuppyMonkeyBaby" too
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql7uY36-LwA

Warlord1986

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #26 on: May 19, 2016, 09:38:44 AM »

When I was visiting my Texan relatives I used to get my heart blessed quite often. I thought they were being quite kind until someone filled me in and told me that "Bless your heart" is Southernese for "You fucked up".

You really need tone on that phrase. Sometimes it can mean "Oh my goodness, what a difficult time you are going through, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help"  -other times "Are you effing kidding me, you're an idiot"

At least the area of Texas I was raised in used it that way :)

This. Sometimes it can be kindly meant. Other times the people saying it are looking at you with the same respect usually reserved for concussed ducks.

Kaspian

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #27 on: May 19, 2016, 09:50:33 AM »
Dear Newlyweds,
We have received your request for adjustment and after careful evaluation must remain with our original assessment of £100.  This is due in large part to the overly salted ham, dry cake, poor choice in music, and arrogant manner of the hosts.
Sincerely, Guest.

MrsDinero

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2016, 09:53:21 AM »

When I was visiting my Texan relatives I used to get my heart blessed quite often. I thought they were being quite kind until someone filled me in and told me that "Bless your heart" is Southernese for "You fucked up".

You really need tone on that phrase. Sometimes it can mean "Oh my goodness, what a difficult time you are going through, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help"  -other times "Are you effing kidding me, you're an idiot"

At least the area of Texas I was raised in used it that way :)

Anyone from the Dallas area has probably seen the "Bless your heart" mortgage guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYDUieYQFdY

FINate

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2016, 10:22:49 AM »
Wow, that's a shockingly ungrateful response. On the other hand, why can't the gifter figure this out on their own. It's not that complicated.

1) Call the bride/groom to verify that they in fact sent the note. Calmly ask questions to clarify the meaning of the note, such as what your "position" has to do with their marriage.

2) Assuming they did send it, and it means what you think it means, inform them that this behavior is unacceptable and ask for an apology.

3) If they are sorry then forgive, otherwise part ways with them and tell them not to bother contacting you in the future.

I would not cancel the cheque or blast this on social media. It may feel good in the moment, but would only create more drama and animosity, and it diminishes your standing. In the end £100 is a relatively cheap price to pay to rid yourself of "friends" like this.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #30 on: May 20, 2016, 08:05:14 AM »

When I was visiting my relatives I used to get my heart blessed quite often. I thought they were being quite kind until someone filled me in and told me that "Bless your heart" is Southernese for "You fucked up".

You really need tone on that phrase. Sometimes it can mean "Oh my goodness, what a difficult time you are going through, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help"  -other times "Are you effing kidding me, you're an idiot"

At least the area of Texas I was raised in used it that way :)

My most profound group heart-blessing came while I was still trying to ingratiate myself. I'd just moved State-side a few weeks before and was hoping to succeed where my mother failed. I was hoping very much that I'd be able to do this, since I was new in-country, still didn't speak or understand the local dialects of Spanish and English as well as I needed to, and didn't know a single person except for work.

This was the same family that boycotted my parents' wedding and refused to acknowledge the birth of either of us children. But after thirty years it seemed to me that they'd relaxed their stand somewhat, and I think it helped that my father found an extremely lucrative line of work. It helped that we wrote and sent small gifts to acknowledge births, graduations, and the like even though there was no acknowledgment or reciprocity for many years. My grandfather and great-aunt were amicable, a few relatives had unbent enough to visit, at which point they got to meet my mother's family and realized how far up the social food chain my father had actually managed to marry. One aunt and uncle actually sent me a university graduation present for which I'd thanked them in a chatty letter that contained a funny anecdote they found entertaining enough to copy and distribute. So I thought the ice had been broken a bit. I truly believed that I might be able to ingratiate myself by making an extremely good impression and displaying my respect for American customs and sensibilities.

Instead, I fucked everything up.

Nobody came to visit or helped me get settled in, but I wasn't really expecting help due to the distance involved. I'd hired movers to get me unpacked and into my apartment since one of my arms still had stitches in it and I wasn't supposed to use it for another week. But I just had to carry something fragile up three flights of stairs, so I ripped out a stitch and infection set in. Between the long red streaks on the skin surface, the swelling, the funky smell, and the green ooze, I eventually had to reopen the cut, clean it out especially where stuff was tunneling, remove some healthy skin, and stitch it closed again but leave enough of an opening to drain. That's a bit of a job one-handed. That's why I paid for movers. To try to avoid green ooze.

Anyway, I'd gotten that under control and for the first few weeks it appeared to me that things were going relatively well: I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner. This required a lengthy car ride, so I rented the cheapest vehicle I could find from a car rental facility that was still open after work and also picked up a replacement hanging lamp to swap out for the one in my dining area, which had an exposed electrical cord because it's far more convenient to carry a discontinued chandelier in the trunk of a car than it is to use a bus. These errands got me back home at about 10 PM, but I had to leave at an obscene hour in the morning in order to make it on time. I should have left earlier still. Between the one-hour time difference and the fact that "dinner" had a firm start time of ten AM, I should just have not bothered trying to sleep. Hence the first heart-blessing when I arrived tired.

My grandfather and great-aunt were still alive back then, so that gave me a way to get to my uncle's house, which turned out to be in an adjacent town and nobody was willing to give me directions or an address in advance. I picked up my great-aunt and we went on over, only to notice that we were late-- my heart got blessed again-- and I was also the only person to arrive empty-handed. Before leaving I'd asked if I could bring anything, and the answer was "no". That's a reasonable thing since it's hard to keep things warm or cold for several hours in a car, but I could still have brought rolls or a fruit tray and was more than willing to do it. But there I was, empty-handed. So yet another blessing was bestowed. More followed, because I hadn't seen most of my cousins in fifteen years, and some of the kids had grown up to the point where I couldn't recognize them by sight and had trouble guessing who they were.

There was a lot of Bible-talking and religious discussion, and I recognized that I had nothing intelligent to say, so my role was that of Polite Listener. No problem there: know the guest role, work the guest role. I also made sure to cover the rest of the guesty bases by being happy to see everyone, if the cooks are among the hosts or the guests (and they were) taste everything and compliment the cooking, thank the hosts, partake in all the activities, and find out about some of the things that interest the hosts and the other guests. It's the finding-out part that is difficult when you don't really speak the dialect and when it's offensive to express a contrary opinion or to ask clarifying questions. For example, I failed to understand why my cousin's inability to get a job was the fault of people who could speak both Spanish and English. Part of that is due to a difference in culture. Everywhere else I'd ever been, in Europe, Canada, or the USA, monolingualism was regarded as a social disability or a sign of some kind of educational or intellectual deficiency. In a part of the country where entry level jobs were sometimes hard to come by it seemed obvious to me that a person ought to snap up every opportunity to be more competitive. So I couldn't understand why my cousin wasn't taking Spanish in school, particularly since the state he was living in had once been part of Mexico. It didn't occur to me that the suggestion that he take advantage of the opportunity before him might be deemed offensive. Oops. Thus I drew another heart-blessing. I likewise was unable to recall what it was like to serve in the Korean War due to having been born several decades too late, and I didn't know any of their 6-part Gospel tunes. I'd have gladly read, but they didn't have any hymn books or sheet music. So I had to do it by ear, wait until the second chorus to pick up the words and feel the changes well enough to either follow the melody or improvise a harmony line that fit in with the rest of them.

When my offer to help clean up in the kitchen was turned down, I managed to fall asleep during the football game and get a bit of a nap. I awoke to more coronary benedictions. But what sealed the deal-- what really destroyed my reputation amongst my father's extended family-- was when I tried to salvage their extremely poor opinion of me by showing them that I might not quite have absorbed the culture yet, but that I'd worked very hard in the six weeks or so that I'd been living there.

I saw my opportunity during a discussion about genealogy, which was a hobby of some of my aunts and cousins. Nothing is quite as much of a social score as giving someone else an opportunity to shine, so I tried to appeal to their knowledge while expanding my own, by asking things like whether relatives had been involved in the Civil War. This worked well. I also mentioned politely that, since moving State-side, I'd discovered our last name is very popular in the African-American community, so much so that it's considered an African-American name. I asked whether there was an African-American branch of our family, and if so when I could be introduced.

You'd have thought I'd done something obscene. But yes, this was the ultimate in coronary benediction.

It took me a while to process this, but one day I suddenly realized why there had been so much resistance to my mother and our family: I'd stumbled into a nest of racists who were constitutionally incapable of operating outside the mentality of having it be OK to wear dunce caps and bedsheets in public. Don't get me wrong, I didn't see them actually hanging anybody, burning crosses, or in possession of dunce caps and white dresses, but that's what their culture is. Being klucker is normal there-- not necessarily full-on Klan membership, possibly, but the whole mentality and way of life. For the first time, I realized that the whole situation Harper Lee wrote about was actually a real society and way of life. The only ones who got outside of it were my grandfather (who was a freethinker), my great-aunt (who was lesbian), and my father, who traveled extensively for work. They didn't subscribe to that mentality. Perhaps that, and not the age difference or the fact he was a bratty kid, was what caused my father to be mostly rejected by his family. I was horrified, and the first chance I got I asked my father to explain again about what he meant with his stories about the "sundown town" he grew up in, and whether that was why my mother so consistently had weird behavior from the police when she visited town. But, yes. That's why I failed so hard.

All I can say now is: bless their cotton-picking bigoted hearts, if they possess such things. I do declare I've got either the vapors or a righteous conniption. I decided to quietly secede. Nobody noticed or cared.

I came back to the area a few more times to visit my grandfather, chiefly when my father was also in the area, and also to visit him in the hospital and to see my great-aunt in the nursing home. I got along OK with a few of my cousins and some of the in-laws, but the behavior of my dad's living brother and sister continued to be pretty harsh at times, especially when my grandfather was in the hospital. I attended both funerals for the elders, although I had to crash my great-aunt's since nobody would tell us when or where it was. I haven't been back since the funerals, although I've had occasional Facebook contact with a few of my cousins. My adopted daughter is Hispanic, and even if she wasn't I'm not going to expose her to that kind of nonsense.

A bit off topic perhaps?

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #31 on: May 20, 2016, 09:02:14 AM »

A bit off topic perhaps?

True. Deleted.

Edited to add: you will probably want to go back into your post to snip out the quote. I can't get to it.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2016, 01:30:38 PM by TheGrimSqueaker »

aetherie

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #32 on: May 20, 2016, 10:24:12 AM »

A bit off topic perhaps?

True. Deleted.

Aww, well, I enjoyed reading it. You have quite the flair for storytelling!

MgoSam

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #33 on: May 20, 2016, 10:55:52 AM »

A bit off topic perhaps?

True. Deleted.

Aww, well, I enjoyed reading it. You have quite the flair for storytelling!

I concur, do you also concur?

Sorry, I've been on a Catch me if you Can kick, referenced it twice already and it's not even lunchtime.

BFGirl

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #34 on: May 20, 2016, 11:57:24 AM »

When I was visiting my Texan relatives I used to get my heart blessed quite often. I thought they were being quite kind until someone filled me in and told me that "Bless your heart" is Southernese for "You fucked up".

You really need tone on that phrase. Sometimes it can mean "Oh my goodness, what a difficult time you are going through, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help"  -other times "Are you effing kidding me, you're an idiot"

At least the area of Texas I was raised in used it that way :)

Agree completely!!  It is all about the tone.  Sometimes the phrase is used as a sincere expression of sympathy...at other times, not so much :)

Kitsune

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #35 on: May 20, 2016, 12:38:54 PM »

When I was visiting my Texan relatives I used to get my heart blessed quite often. I thought they were being quite kind until someone filled me in and told me that "Bless your heart" is Southernese for "You fucked up".

You really need tone on that phrase. Sometimes it can mean "Oh my goodness, what a difficult time you are going through, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help"  -other times "Are you effing kidding me, you're an idiot"

At least the area of Texas I was raised in used it that way :)

Agree completely!!  It is all about the tone.  Sometimes the phrase is used as a sincere expression of sympathy...at other times, not so much :)

I've seen it done on a webcomic: the character said 'well, bless his heart' and the speech bubble was dripping icicles. I think that about sums up the feel. ;)

Cassie

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #36 on: May 20, 2016, 01:39:30 PM »
I also enjoyed the story GS.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #37 on: May 20, 2016, 01:59:38 PM »
In response to the people saying that the recipient of the letter shouldn't have published the letter. As I understand it, the recipient was on an online forum asking for advice as to what she should do and then people on the forum forwarded the story to the point that it got on the news.

Good story GS

shelivesthedream

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #38 on: May 21, 2016, 02:34:45 AM »

A bit off topic perhaps?

True. Deleted.

Edited to add: you will probably want to go back into your post to snip out the quote. I can't get to it.

It was a bit OT, but that doesn't mean it needed to be deleted! I thought it was great, and people can always scroll over stuff if they don't want to read it.

BlueHouse

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #39 on: May 22, 2016, 06:34:46 AM »
[speechless]

Paul der Krake

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #40 on: May 22, 2016, 07:01:40 AM »
Canceling the check wouldn't have done a thing if the hosts are the sort to behave that way. They probably beelined for the bank right after the ceremony.

zephyr911

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #41 on: May 26, 2016, 07:24:53 AM »

A bit off topic perhaps?

True. Deleted.

Edited to add: you will probably want to go back into your post to snip out the quote. I can't get to it.
Aww, OT for sure but still worth reading. Thanks for sharing. (I read the quoted version)

Inaya

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #42 on: May 26, 2016, 08:21:24 AM »
Quote
We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.


"Thank you for your concern. We have carefully reassessed the situation and have determined that our good wishes were far warmer than necessary. With that in mind, we have determined that our contribution was appropriate given the properly-assessed warmth quotient. We apologize for the confusion."

TVRodriguez

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #43 on: May 26, 2016, 08:38:32 AM »

A bit off topic perhaps?

True. Deleted.

Edited to add: you will probably want to go back into your post to snip out the quote. I can't get to it.
Aww, OT for sure but still worth reading. Thanks for sharing. (I read the quoted version)

+1

On the wedding gift "adjustment": gift giver could have said, "yes, thanks for noticing, it was meant to be 10, not 100--please send the difference back asap.  Much appreciated!"

Nederstash

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #44 on: September 10, 2016, 09:43:20 AM »
The opposite happened yesterday. We're a close family and we never give gifts for birthdays/christmas/sinterklaas since we all became adults. My brother got married and us siblings decided to give a card and cash at the reception. Collectively, so everyone could put in what they wanted and what fit into our budgets. My brother was very surprised - he hadn't expected anything. So he was really thankful. I think the whole wedding without dress and rings was less than 1k. It was a lot of fun! It was just great to be all together and share the afternoon.

Stachey

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #45 on: September 11, 2016, 02:03:43 PM »
It's unbelievable the nerve of some people.

I remember a few years ago relatives being completely shocked when they were invited to a friend's wedding and the invite made it clear that they would ONLY accept cash as wedding gifts. 

But this story is a whole new low.

gimp

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #46 on: September 11, 2016, 07:45:49 PM »
N-n-n-necro

BTDretire

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Re: Wedding Gift Inadequate - "Adjustment" Requested
« Reply #47 on: September 13, 2016, 07:55:30 PM »
Well. Someone's parents didn't teach them any manners. How special.
Quote
And here I thought all British people were stereotypically overly polite. Although, the note is phrased in an exceedingly polite and proper tone. It's just the message that's shockingly rude.
  Oh, man, it took me two days to get through this ordeal;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_MZ1WKGO9U    (Abigail's Party)
The tolerance of the those Brits, it took a whole 1 hour and 5 minutes before a knife was pointed at Beverly. I felt sorry for Lawrence up until about 1:10 and then I no longer liked him.
 Poor Sue, perpetually unhappy. What's with Tom?
Angela seemed to be the only person happy to be there.
 Beverly was pretty, even sexy, but you really wouldn't want her around.
Yep, that's what being British is really about - being shockingly rude to people in such a polite way that they can't call you out for it. See: Abigail's Party.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2016, 07:50:35 AM by Qmavam »