Author Topic: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again  (Read 13786 times)

OmahaSteph

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Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« on: January 20, 2016, 11:23:37 AM »
My ex has impulse control issues that contributed to him amassing such debt that we were forced to declare bankruptcy (I was young and dumb and trusting).

Fast forward 12 years.

Before our divorce was even final, he bought his new girlfriend (now his wife) a lipstick red Mercedes. He drives a BMW Z4. Then when they got engaged (also before the divorce was final) he added a Ford Expedition to the fleet so he could drive around his Brady Bunch. They threw a lavish beachfront wedding in an exclusive resort town, and he then bought her a condo on said beachfront (in addition to an engagement ring and wedding ring). He has a brand-new wardrobe, she doesn't cook so they eat out every dinner (oh, and he bottomed out his 401(k) right before I filed for divorce), and last night my son informed me he took his wife and stepsons to Disney.

Yet he's behind in alimony, owes for his half of his children's medical expenses, and a couple weeks ago his bank called me looking for him. Pretty sure the bank doesn't call you with GOOD news.

Meanwhile, I'm starting from scratch and enjoying watching him spend himself into oblivion. I wonder how long until his new wife realizes he's broke and she leaves him.

I'm gonna be like the Kermit meme and just sip my non-financed tea...

pdxbator

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2016, 11:42:20 AM »
Sorry you won't be getting alimony that you are absolutely owed. Good thing you got out of that relationship though.

OmahaSteph

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2016, 12:04:52 PM »
Sorry you won't be getting alimony that you are absolutely owed. Good thing you got out of that relationship though.

Thanks. I'll eventually get the alimony (I successfully represented myself in court against him), but I'm looking forward to the day when I retire early and his jaw hits the floor. :)

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2016, 01:07:58 PM »
Sorry you won't be getting alimony that you are absolutely owed. Good thing you got out of that relationship though.

Thanks. I'll eventually get the alimony (I successfully represented myself in court against him), but I'm looking forward to the day when I retire early and his jaw hits the floor. :)

That would be the icing on your FIRE cake.

But if he's that big of a loser, if he realizes you accumulated assets after the divorce he may just find a nitwit from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe who's willing to work on a deferred payment, and sue you for them.

Megma

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2016, 01:24:54 PM »
This is so not what your post was about but why did he only take the step-kids to Disney and not also your son? Did you not want your son going to corporate play land? Or was it not offered?

The child of divorce in me is screaming this is not fair! so I am curious :-)

onlykelsey

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2016, 01:31:46 PM »
I'm not sure about alimony, but child support isn't dischargeable under Chapter 7 or 13, i believe.

OmahaSteph

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2016, 02:06:40 PM »
This is so not what your post was about but why did he only take the step-kids to Disney and not also your son? Did you not want your son going to corporate play land? Or was it not offered?

The child of divorce in me is screaming this is not fair! so I am curious :-)

I moved out of state with the kids this summer. I'm assuming that over their Christmas visitation he probably told them something like, "We were going to take you, too, but your mom took you away." (I moved for work. I don't know exactly when he went.)


That would be the icing on your FIRE cake.

But if he's that big of a loser, if he realizes you accumulated assets after the divorce he may just find a nitwit from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe who's willing to work on a deferred payment, and sue you for them.

Wait, what is this??? He makes way more than me, so I don't see how me getting my shit together could lead to him coming after me? Is this possible? *panics*

Matumba

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2016, 02:18:34 PM »
A fool and his money are soon parted

zephyr911

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2016, 02:49:38 PM »
This is so not what your post was about but why did he only take the step-kids to Disney and not also your son? Did you not want your son going to corporate play land? Or was it not offered?

The child of divorce in me is screaming this is not fair! so I am curious :-)

I moved out of state with the kids this summer. I'm assuming that over their Christmas visitation he probably told them something like, "We were going to take you, too, but your mom took you away." (I moved for work. I don't know exactly when he went.)


That would be the icing on your FIRE cake.

But if he's that big of a loser, if he realizes you accumulated assets after the divorce he may just find a nitwit from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe who's willing to work on a deferred payment, and sue you for them.

Wait, what is this??? He makes way more than me, so I don't see how me getting my shit together could lead to him coming after me? Is this possible? *panics*
If you're on track for FIRE, what do you need alimony for?
Taking back assets seems a stretch, but revising the agreement, on the premise that you clearly don't need support? Seems reasonable, to an objective/ignorant third party.

MrMoogle

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2016, 02:55:24 PM »
I'm sure there was a time when it would have been useful.  Maybe she doesn't need it so much anymore, but it is owed to her.  And it would speed up her time to FIRE. 

charis

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2016, 02:58:22 PM »
This is so not what your post was about but why did he only take the step-kids to Disney and not also your son? Did you not want your son going to corporate play land? Or was it not offered?

The child of divorce in me is screaming this is not fair! so I am curious :-)

I moved out of state with the kids this summer. I'm assuming that over their Christmas visitation he probably told them something like, "We were going to take you, too, but your mom took you away." (I moved for work. I don't know exactly when he went.)


That would be the icing on your FIRE cake.

But if he's that big of a loser, if he realizes you accumulated assets after the divorce he may just find a nitwit from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe who's willing to work on a deferred payment, and sue you for them.

Wait, what is this??? He makes way more than me, so I don't see how me getting my shit together could lead to him coming after me? Is this possible? *panics*
If you're on track for FIRE, what do you need alimony for?
Taking back assets seems a stretch, but revising the agreement, on the premise that you clearly don't need support? Seems reasonable, to an objective/ignorant third party.

Since when does not being a crazy spend thrift equate to no past due alimony owed.  I'm sure there are actual facts that were considered in the decree, as opposed to the musings of an internet stranger.

AZDude

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2016, 03:11:22 PM »
Glad you have your act together, but just a side note. Wishing bad on someone is never a good idea. Let it go and celebrate your own life rather than compare yourself to someone else.

Megma

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2016, 03:16:37 PM »
This is so not what your post was about but why did he only take the step-kids to Disney and not also your son? Did you not want your son going to corporate play land? Or was it not offered?

The child of divorce in me is screaming this is not fair! so I am curious :-)

I moved out of state with the kids this summer. I'm assuming that over their Christmas visitation he probably told them something like, "We were going to take you, too, but your mom took you away." (I moved for work. I don't know exactly when he went.)


That would be the icing on your FIRE cake.

But if he's that big of a loser, if he realizes you accumulated assets after the divorce he may just find a nitwit from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe who's willing to work on a deferred payment, and sue you for them.

Wait, what is this??? He makes way more than me, so I don't see how me getting my shit together could lead to him coming after me? Is this possible? *panics*


Ahhh, still seems like bs. He clearly could've have arranged to take all the kids, if he wanted (though I'm sure it cut costs down not to). Though blaming the other parent is a game I'm very familiar with. I hope it did not hurt your kid's feelings!

I Think at most he could argue he did not owe it going forward...also when is your fire date? Could be a moot point by then. If I were you, I would have his Wages garnished until you were paid up bc 1) he owes it 2) money could be there if he weren't wasting it, get yours first 3) it would seriously piss me off if he did not take my kid on the vacation eps if I was used a sass the excuse

forward

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2016, 03:35:53 PM »
This is so not what your post was about but why did he only take the step-kids to Disney and not also your son? Did you not want your son going to corporate play land? Or was it not offered?

The child of divorce in me is screaming this is not fair! so I am curious :-)

I moved out of state with the kids this summer. I'm assuming that over their Christmas visitation he probably told them something like, "We were going to take you, too, but your mom took you away." (I moved for work. I don't know exactly when he went.)


That would be the icing on your FIRE cake.

But if he's that big of a loser, if he realizes you accumulated assets after the divorce he may just find a nitwit from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe who's willing to work on a deferred payment, and sue you for them.

Wait, what is this??? He makes way more than me, so I don't see how me getting my shit together could lead to him coming after me? Is this possible? *panics*


Nah, you're good.  The issue that typically happens is the person owed money eventually gives up on fighting for it...it becomes exhausting and then its not ever paid. Try to keep after him in the way that is the least effort for you.

I am sure there has been a lot of water under the bridge and watching this for the entertainment value provides some amusement in the face of all the bad times you went through.

Formerly an Omahan here.

OmahaSteph

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2016, 03:47:54 PM »
Wow, this was supposed to be a lighthearted look at someone else's crazy spending habits.

Not that I need to defend myself, but I was a SAHM who supported my husband's career and took care of the children. I had no savings, no 401(k) no nothing of my own to speak of. I'm only a little over a year out and still trying to land on my feet. I am not a gold-digger so I only asked for $200/month for ONE YEAR of rehabilitative alimony. That's it. Considering he makes $82,000/year, I don't think that's unreasonable, especially considering he "strongly dissuaded" me from returning to the work force once our children were both in school.

Then a year after the divorce, my company suddenly closed its doors and I was unemployed again. I couldn't find a comparable job in my region so I had to move across the country, going further into debt and borrowing from my parents.

There, do I meet your standards and requirements?

And no, I don't wish him any ill. He's taking care of that all on his own.

*drops mic*
« Last Edit: January 20, 2016, 03:50:34 PM by OmahaSteph »

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2016, 03:58:52 PM »

That would be the icing on your FIRE cake.

But if he's that big of a loser, if he realizes you accumulated assets after the divorce he may just find a nitwit from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe who's willing to work on a deferred payment, and sue you for them.

Wait, what is this??? He makes way more than me, so I don't see how me getting my shit together could lead to him coming after me? Is this possible? *panics*

Support can be modified if the person paying it has a significant change in wealth or income. Sure, your ex makes more now, but if he loses his job and takes another for significantly lower pay, it's not unheard-of for payments to be adjusted.

Most deadbeats are satisfied with just not paying what they owe and hoping the other person gives up.

Courts can also reconsider property decisions even after a divorce is finalized. It's not the norm, but if your ex is a seriously vindictive jerk or gets married to one, he could decide that whatever assets you accumulate are "evidence" that you concealed income or assets during the divorce. Nobody is suggesting that you did, obviously, but proving you didn't could get costly and time consuming.

So definitely enjoy the FIRE, but I wouldn't suggest that you rub your ex's nose in it if he's a malicious jerk.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2016, 04:06:39 PM by TheGrimSqueaker »

Metta

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2016, 03:59:46 PM »
Glad you have your act together, but just a side note. Wishing bad on someone is never a good idea. Let it go and celebrate your own life rather than compare yourself to someone else.

I think I've been told in the past that cruelly mocking the spendy-pants is the whole point of the Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy. You need to go elsewhere for kindness and compassion. Try one of the other boards.

mm1970

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2016, 04:00:23 PM »
Wow, this was supposed to be a lighthearted look at someone else's crazy spending habits.

Not that I need to defend myself, but I was a SAHM who supported my husband's career and took care of the children. I had no savings, no 401(k) no nothing of my own to speak of. I'm only a little over a year out and still trying to land on my feet. I am not a gold-digger so I only asked for $200/month for ONE YEAR of rehabilitative alimony. That's it. Considering he makes $82,000/year, I don't think that's unreasonable, especially considering he "strongly dissuaded" me from returning to the work force once our children were both in school.

Then a year after the divorce, my company suddenly closed its doors and I was unemployed again. I couldn't find a comparable job in my region so I had to move across the country, going further into debt and borrowing from my parents.

There, do I meet your standards and requirements?

And no, I don't wish him any ill. He's taking care of that all on his own.

*drops mic*
More data is helpful.

Is he behind on his child support payments?

Funny story.  I have a friend who is divorced.  She got custody, but her husband got the kids every other weekend, some holidays, that sort of thing.  It was agreed to in court.  He also had to pay child support as she had primary custody.

He missed child support payments.  Many of them.  Then one year, he takes the kids on a 2 week vacation over Christmas, encompassing both his week and her week. She agreed to it, because she's nice and the kids wanted to go.

Then he presents her with a bill for half the cost (airfare, hotel, etc.) because they were there for *her* week too.  She refuses to pay.

He takes her to small claims court.  The very first question out of the judge's mouth: "Is there a child support requirement?" "Yes". "Is he in arrears?"  "Yes".  "Let's open up a family court case file right now..."  She hadn't bothered to do it, because she was nice.

He was a small business owner, so they garnished his pre-paid business taxes to pay her back child support.

So...I wish you a similar outcome (that you are able to get your back alimony).  And also:  $200 a month is nothing.  He got off easy. 

faithless

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2016, 04:01:17 PM »
Sorry you won't be getting alimony that you are absolutely owed. Good thing you got out of that relationship though.

Thanks. I'll eventually get the alimony (I successfully represented myself in court against him), but I'm looking forward to the day when I retire early and his jaw hits the floor. :)

Sounds like a douche. He'll probably then have the nerve to claim that you were living off his money and that's the reason he's bankrupt and you're retired!

shotgunwilly

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2016, 04:03:21 PM »
Before our divorce was even final, he bought his new girlfriend (now his wife) a lipstick red Mercedes. He drives a BMW Z4. Then when they got engaged (also before the divorce was final) he added a Ford Expedition to the fleet so he could drive around his Brady Bunch. They threw a lavish beachfront wedding in an exclusive resort town, and he then bought her a condo on said beachfront (in addition to an engagement ring and wedding ring). He has a brand-new wardrobe, she doesn't cook so they eat out every dinner (oh, and he bottomed out his 401(k) right before I filed for divorce), and last night my son informed me he took his wife and stepsons to Disney.

Considering he makes $82,000/year, I don't think that's unreasonable, especially considering he "strongly dissuaded" me from returning to the work force once our children were both in school.

This guy only makes $82,000 a year?! Oh man he is fucked. Haha.

Congratulations on getting your life together!

AZDude

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2016, 04:10:43 PM »
Glad you have your act together, but just a side note. Wishing bad on someone is never a good idea. Let it go and celebrate your own life rather than compare yourself to someone else.

I think I've been told in the past that cruelly mocking the spendy-pants is the whole point of the Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy. You need to go elsewhere for kindness and compassion. Try one of the other boards.

Meh... fair enough.


cloudsail

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2016, 04:29:55 PM »
From what you described, I thought he was making more like $200,000. He seems like he's headed for trouble very, very soon. You won't have to wait very long for your entertainment ;)

Paul der Krake

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2016, 04:53:22 PM »
Yet he's behind in alimony, owes for his half of his children's medical expenses, and a couple weeks ago his bank called me looking for him. Pretty sure the bank doesn't call you with GOOD news.
Bwahahaha. No, they do not. He must be weeks away from another bankruptcy.

But yeah, don't brag about early retirement. Just because he doesn't have any standing does not mean he can try and make your life miserable. Living happily is the best revenge.

robartsd

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2016, 05:02:20 PM »
I would not expect to see any money from him until it is from wage garnishments. You cut yourself really short on the alimony.

zephyr911

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #24 on: January 21, 2016, 12:04:58 PM »
Since when does not being a crazy spend thrift equate to no past due alimony owed.  I'm sure there are actual facts that were considered in the decree, as opposed to the musings of an internet stranger.

*drops mic*

Wow.

Seriously, nowhere in my comment did I question the merits of your case. I said, absent context, it's easy to imagine your superior financial situation being used as evidence that alimony is superfluous.

You don't have to convince me that this guy is an idiot, with fucked-up priorities, who has done you wrong, or that the alimony agreement was fair. It really doesn't matter, in context. My comment was about how a third party might view things, in light of facts stated above.

Whatever he was obligated to pay, he should have paid it before going on this dumb spending spree, and I hope you get it all, bottom line. But be realistic about how FIRE will affect the legal system's view of things going forward. *hands mic back to you*

TheAnonOne

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #25 on: January 21, 2016, 12:53:10 PM »
Before our divorce was even final, he bought his new girlfriend (now his wife) a lipstick red Mercedes. He drives a BMW Z4. Then when they got engaged (also before the divorce was final) he added a Ford Expedition to the fleet so he could drive around his Brady Bunch. They threw a lavish beachfront wedding in an exclusive resort town, and he then bought her a condo on said beachfront (in addition to an engagement ring and wedding ring). He has a brand-new wardrobe, she doesn't cook so they eat out every dinner (oh, and he bottomed out his 401(k) right before I filed for divorce), and last night my son informed me he took his wife and stepsons to Disney.

Considering he makes $82,000/year, I don't think that's unreasonable, especially considering he "strongly dissuaded" me from returning to the work force once our children were both in school.

This guy only makes $82,000 a year?! Oh man he is fucked. Haha.

Congratulations on getting your life together!

Yea, I saw that too. $82k is going to fund him via debt for a short while.... (sounds like it's falling over already)

The lifestyle your describing is 200-250 yearly....

v8rx7guy

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #26 on: January 21, 2016, 12:55:35 PM »
Before our divorce was even final, he bought his new girlfriend (now his wife) a lipstick red Mercedes. He drives a BMW Z4. Then when they got engaged (also before the divorce was final) he added a Ford Expedition to the fleet so he could drive around his Brady Bunch. They threw a lavish beachfront wedding in an exclusive resort town, and he then bought her a condo on said beachfront (in addition to an engagement ring and wedding ring). He has a brand-new wardrobe, she doesn't cook so they eat out every dinner (oh, and he bottomed out his 401(k) right before I filed for divorce), and last night my son informed me he took his wife and stepsons to Disney.

Considering he makes $82,000/year, I don't think that's unreasonable, especially considering he "strongly dissuaded" me from returning to the work force once our children were both in school.

This guy only makes $82,000 a year?! Oh man he is fucked. Haha.

Congratulations on getting your life together!

Yea, I saw that too. $82k is going to fund him via debt for a short while.... (sounds like it's falling over already)

The lifestyle your describing is 200-250 yearly....

you even forgot to bold the "bought her a condo on said beachfront" part!

RetiredAt63

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #27 on: January 23, 2016, 04:01:06 PM »
What is it with these guys?  My ex told me I would end up a bag lady.

He isn't going broke, but he is living paycheque to paycheque.  I sat down and read every single blog on the MMM site, cut a bunch of expenses, and am fine.  We had very similar jobs and pay scales, the financial settlement divided assets and liabilities equitably, so we were both starting from the same financial position.  However, his spending is nothing compared to your Ex.  Maybe if he had a girlfriend - but I am sure if he found one, she would have a nice job and good income.

clarkfan1979

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #28 on: January 23, 2016, 07:55:12 PM »
I enjoyed the story. Good luck to you.

Bearded Man

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #29 on: January 23, 2016, 08:35:09 PM »
Oh if my ex gf knew I've amassed so much real estate and my income has grown so high. The look on her face realizing that she missed out...It would be priceless.

MrsPete

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #30 on: January 23, 2016, 08:41:24 PM »
If I were in this situation, my #1 concern would be making sure my children didn't pick up his habits. 

When my parents divorced, my father spiraled out of control -- part of it dealt with money -- yet my mother never bad-mouthed him to us.  She'd state facts; for example, "No, I can't buy you ___ because your father hasn't paid child support in X number of years."  But she never added, "What an awful human being he is!  If he cared about y'all, he'd try harder!"  In the long run, we kids respected her for being truthful while allowing us to reach our own conclusions.  She walked a fine line well.

Magilla

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #31 on: January 23, 2016, 10:19:45 PM »
If I were in this situation, my #1 concern would be making sure my children didn't pick up his habits. 

When my parents divorced, my father spiraled out of control -- part of it dealt with money -- yet my mother never bad-mouthed him to us.  She'd state facts; for example, "No, I can't buy you ___ because your father hasn't paid child support in X number of years."  But she never added, "What an awful human being he is!  If he cared about y'all, he'd try harder!"  In the long run, we kids respected her for being truthful while allowing us to reach our own conclusions.  She walked a fine line well.

This is a key point that I think a lot of parents going through divorce don't realize.  As a child of divorce (and a very BAD divorce) I can tell you that kids remember everything that is said or done (even though the parents eventually forget) and  bad-mouthing for the sake of getting a dig in at the other parent only hurts you and kids in the long run.

MrsPete

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #32 on: January 25, 2016, 12:28:47 PM »
Yeah, and I think it's worse now than when I was a kid:  I'm thinking of a friend of my daughter's whose parents had a NASTY divorce and each tried to "outdo" one another on Facebook.  They aired all their dirty laundry very in a very public way, and their daughter was able to read it all -- money problems, infidelity.  That poor child.  Today at age 21 she's a college drop out with heavy student loans to repay, and she's also an alcoholic with a police record.  Did her parents' divorce cause this?  No, I wouldn't say that, but I will say that it certainly didn't help.  At a point when her parents should've sheltered and protected her, they put their energies towards trying to prove the other was a worse person. 

honeybbq

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #33 on: January 25, 2016, 01:24:48 PM »
Good luck, Omaha. You are owed your alimony and I hope you get it. He's a douche. Glad you are smart and taking charge of your finances and getting your shit together after the storm.

Eric222

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #34 on: January 27, 2016, 07:50:20 PM »
If I were in this situation, my #1 concern would be making sure my children didn't pick up his habits. 

When my parents divorced, my father spiraled out of control -- part of it dealt with money -- yet my mother never bad-mouthed him to us.  She'd state facts; for example, "No, I can't buy you ___ because your father hasn't paid child support in X number of years."  But she never added, "What an awful human being he is!  If he cared about y'all, he'd try harder!"  In the long run, we kids respected her for being truthful while allowing us to reach our own conclusions.  She walked a fine line well.

This is a key point that I think a lot of parents going through divorce don't realize.  As a child of divorce (and a very BAD divorce) I can tell you that kids remember everything that is said or done (even though the parents eventually forget) and  bad-mouthing for the sake of getting a dig in at the other parent only hurts you and kids in the long run.
Things like this make me think I am not nearly grateful enough for how smoothly post-divorce co-parenting has gone...

ender

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #35 on: January 28, 2016, 06:17:27 AM »
Funny story.  I have a friend who is divorced.  She got custody, but her husband got the kids every other weekend, some holidays, that sort of thing.  It was agreed to in court.  He also had to pay child support as she had primary custody.

He missed child support payments.  Many of them.  Then one year, he takes the kids on a 2 week vacation over Christmas, encompassing both his week and her week. She agreed to it, because she's nice and the kids wanted to go.

Then he presents her with a bill for half the cost (airfare, hotel, etc.) because they were there for *her* week too.  She refuses to pay.

He takes her to small claims court.  The very first question out of the judge's mouth: "Is there a child support requirement?" "Yes". "Is he in arrears?"  "Yes".  "Let's open up a family court case file right now..."  She hadn't bothered to do it, because she was nice.

He was a small business owner, so they garnished his pre-paid business taxes to pay her back child support.


I found this far too amusing. Thanks for sharing!

OmahaSteph

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #36 on: January 28, 2016, 10:25:38 AM »
Thanks, everyone. Nope I don't badmouth him. I'm sure the kids pick up on my "mood," (I get very matter-of-fact) but I let his own actions speak for themselves. I'm very much trying to show them that with hard work and discipline, you can make something of yourself. I also model a good work ethic (I'll admit that their dad is also a hard worker) and -- perhaps most importantly -- we don't have to spend wads of cash to have a good time. I try to give them experiences and quality time, rather than things.

zephyr911

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #37 on: January 28, 2016, 10:27:25 AM »
+1 to keeping the moral high ground

frugalnacho

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #38 on: February 11, 2016, 09:21:22 PM »
... I am not a gold-digger so I only asked for $200/month for ONE YEAR of rehabilitative alimony. That's it. ...

You're talking a total alimony bill of $2,400, then it's done?

*insert head exploding gif*

lol wut? i've lost that amount in just my ira, this year, and it's only february.  ditto on my 401k.  How can he not pay that? 

Fi(re) on the Farm

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #39 on: February 12, 2016, 11:23:20 AM »
My ex has impulse control issues that contributed to him amassing such debt that we were forced to declare bankruptcy (I was young and dumb and trusting).

Fast forward 12 years.

Before our divorce was even final, he bought his new girlfriend (now his wife) a lipstick red Mercedes. He drives a BMW Z4. Then when they got engaged (also before the divorce was final) he added a Ford Expedition to the fleet so he could drive around his Brady Bunch. They threw a lavish beachfront wedding in an exclusive resort town, and he then bought her a condo on said beachfront (in addition to an engagement ring and wedding ring). He has a brand-new wardrobe, she doesn't cook so they eat out every dinner (oh, and he bottomed out his 401(k) right before I filed for divorce), and last night my son informed me he took his wife and stepsons to Disney.

Yet he's behind in alimony, owes for his half of his children's medical expenses, and a couple weeks ago his bank called me looking for him. Pretty sure the bank doesn't call you with GOOD news.

Meanwhile, I'm starting from scratch and enjoying watching him spend himself into oblivion. I wonder how long until his new wife realizes he's broke and she leaves him.

I'm gonna be like the Kermit meme and just sip my non-financed tea...

Sounds like my ex husband, now married to his 5th wife. 25 years after the divorce and he still owes me $40,000. It's the best money I never spent! It would kill him to know how much money I have. He makes fun of my modest house and my inexpensive lifestyle, while he lives pay check to pay check ( his wife's by the way). Living well really is the best revenge.

MgoSam

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #40 on: February 12, 2016, 12:54:14 PM »
Living well really is the best revenge.

+1, I completely agree. I haven't ever been married, so I can't say I've been through a divorce, but this appears to be the healthiest thing any of us can do.

Parizade

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #41 on: February 12, 2016, 04:31:03 PM »
[25 years after the divorce and he still owes me $40,000. It's the best money I never spent! It would kill him to know how much money I have. He makes fun of my modest house and my inexpensive lifestyle, while he lives pay check to pay check ( his wife's by the way). Living well really is the best revenge.

I never got a penny, alimony or child support, from my deadbeat ex and I couldn't agree with you more. His disappearance from our lives was the best possible outcome, worth much more than any dollar amount I could have squeezed out of him.

Hang in there OmahaSteph, the hard times you're going through will make FIRE that much sweeter.

Dee

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #42 on: February 12, 2016, 08:15:05 PM »
After a rough break up some time ago I used the following signature line for a good while: "The best revenge is living well. The second best revenge is knowing he isn't."

SwordGuy

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Re: Watching ex crash and burn financially ... again
« Reply #43 on: February 12, 2016, 09:44:15 PM »
You sound like a great person who has their act together.   Yeah, you!!!

$2,400 would be nice to have "right now" but, frankly, it's chump change based on what you are doing with your life.  Fast forward a couple of years and you'll never need to give it a moment's thought.

Best wishes!

I was very happy that my wife's ex-husband was uninterested in participating in my step-daughter's life after a few years.   We put in for a change of custody to my wife and I to the court.  The judge asked us what the ex-husband thought about our request for joint custody.   Aside from the judge and court clerk, my wife and daughter and I were the only ones in the room.   I looked the judge in the eye and said, "Well, your honor, he received the same notice to appear in your court that we did."   Apparently that was a satisfactory answer because we got custody.  (Thankfully our daughter was perfectly happy to never see him again.)

It may be a bit rough on your children, but it sounds like his ignoring them is probably the best thing for them.