Author Topic: This blog entry... oh boy...  (Read 42514 times)

dragoncar

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #50 on: July 07, 2015, 04:59:47 PM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

Would you kill a man for $260k?  Cause that's about what it 2x weekly massages will cost ya.

Cpa Cat

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #51 on: July 07, 2015, 05:10:01 PM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

Would you kill a man for $260k?  Cause that's about what it 2x weekly massages will cost ya.

Those must be some amazing massages.

Capsu78

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #52 on: July 07, 2015, 05:12:07 PM »
Yeah, I don't see the source of her financial empire either but it seems to be a transfer of wealth from others to her for exposure to her "life experience".   Fact of the matter is I also enjoy many of the things on her list, but wouldn't consider any of them "investments".  (As a dude, I wouldn't mind silk boxers to fart through!)   I think it is a feel good term that must appeal to her pitch to have you transfer your wealth to her through the power of positive thinking.

dragoncar

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #53 on: July 07, 2015, 05:15:54 PM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

Would you kill a man for $260k?  Cause that's about what it 2x weekly massages will cost ya.

Those must be some amazing massages.

I dunno... Figured a massage is about $100 bucks but maybe that's only for amazing ones.  Times two, times 52, times 25.

Cpa Cat

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #54 on: July 07, 2015, 07:43:52 PM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

Would you kill a man for $260k?  Cause that's about what it 2x weekly massages will cost ya.

Those must be some amazing massages.

I dunno... Figured a massage is about $100 bucks but maybe that's only for amazing ones.  Times two, times 52, times 25.

Twenty five years' worth makes a lot more sense.

EllieStan

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #55 on: July 08, 2015, 09:46:42 AM »
To be honest, I can understand and share, to an extent, her feelings on :
- Good lingerie, because it's also a matter of health.
- A quality wardrobe, because it does make sense financially if your goal is to stop buying cheap clothes that are ill-fitted (you won't wear them) or non-resistant (you'll need to buy new ones regularly). Bonus points if the wardrobe purchases were thoughtful rather than impulsive, and if they make you feel more confident.
- The part in the ''international travel'' where she says you don't have to spend thousands and thousands to travel and you don't have to constantly delay your dreams because you're not a millionnaire yet. If you truly want to go somewhere or take time off for yourself, there are definitely ways to achieve this. Frugally.

The rest of her statements seem a bit ridiculous. Unless the regular massages are meant to help with a physical or health issue.

Emilyngh

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #56 on: July 08, 2015, 11:59:36 AM »
What I find most interesting is the underlying rationale of "you're worth it" (with the it being the expensive bag, massage, etc).   To me, this is a red herring argument.   

We're not saying that *you're* not worth *it*; we're saying that *it*'s not worth *you* (eg., the bag's not worth your limited life energy you have to trade for it).   

Chris22

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #57 on: July 08, 2015, 12:15:26 PM »
To be honest, I can understand and share, to an extent, her feelings on :
- Good lingerie, because it's also a matter of health.
- A quality wardrobe, because it does make sense financially if your goal is to stop buying cheap clothes that are ill-fitted (you won't wear them) or non-resistant (you'll need to buy new ones regularly). Bonus points if the wardrobe purchases were thoughtful rather than impulsive, and if they make you feel more confident.
- The part in the ''international travel'' where she says you don't have to spend thousands and thousands to travel and you don't have to constantly delay your dreams because you're not a millionnaire yet. If you truly want to go somewhere or take time off for yourself, there are definitely ways to achieve this. Frugally.

The rest of her statements seem a bit ridiculous. Unless the regular massages are meant to help with a physical or health issue.

Exactly.  It takes thought to separate out what's expensive because of a brand or label and what's expensive because it's high quality.  I've owned plenty of shirts from Polo which shrank, were somewhat ill fitting, and looked worn after a short time.  They were expensive, but not high quality.  OTOH, now I wear Brooks Brothers dress shirts almost exclusively, and while expensive, they last a long time, fit extremely well, and are the opposite of flashy (they don't have any sort of crest or lable and there's really no way for anyone to tell what brand my shirt is.)  Same with Allen Edmonds shoes; I've bought plenty of $40-80 dress shoes that fall apart in months.  Allen Edmonds are expensive, but they last a long, long time, can be repaired, and are again, the opposite of a fashion statement because there's no label on them. 

When I buy something expensive, I try to answer both of the following:

-Is this going to last a long time (is it high quality)?
-Do I WANT or NEED this to last a long time (will it be out of fashion or obsolete before it wears out, is it something I'm going to use very sparingly, etc)?

If the answer to both isn't yes, it's probably not worth it to spend a lot of money on it.

Chris23

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #58 on: July 08, 2015, 02:58:52 PM »
As for the house-cleaning debate: I think it's kind of insulting to call that job "degrading" or "exploitative." Imagine you're a typical house-cleaner. You have little education and few skills. You make a fair wage, your clients don't abuse you, you're paid on time. You have a flexible schedule that allows you to work around child care or sick family members. People appreciate what you do for them. Your clients are busy or sick or disabled and you come in and make their life easier.

And then one day someone comes along and says, "I'm firing you, because your job degrades you and exploits you." Did that person really just improve your life? Or was that judgment of your job as something to be ashamed of the worst thing about being a house-cleaner?

I'm not saying we should all hire maids for the good of humanity, or anything. But a cleaning-service is only exploitative and degrading if you treat that person poorly. Otherwise, it's a job like any other.

Could you please explain where you get the information that a typical housekeeper makes a fair wage with a flexible schedule and appreciative clients who always pay on time? That certainly doesn't match what I've read in either academic or non-academic (e.g., Nickel & Dimed) sources. In fact, I've only seen opposite claims -- housekeepers often work for large corporations that pay rock-bottom wages,  demand adherence to rigid schedules, and exploit their workers. Sure, it could be a nice job for an independent worker with the English skills and business savvy to compete with mega-corporations and create a nice niche for themselves, but most housekeepers are immigrants who either leave their children behind in their home country or work long hours and rely on public transportation, preventing them from spending much time with their families. Can you provide sources that show otherwise? I would be really interested in seeing a counter argument.

Cheddar Stacker

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #59 on: July 08, 2015, 03:05:42 PM »




This is confusing. You guys should've coordinated a little better.

I agree with Chris23's housekeeper comments. In fact, I listened to an NPR report where many were being exploited in more ways than you would think, including not just sexual harassment but sexual assault. I'm sure it's not all like that, but it's certainly not a gravy train.

Chris22

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #60 on: July 08, 2015, 03:08:24 PM »
As for the house-cleaning debate: I think it's kind of insulting to call that job "degrading" or "exploitative." Imagine you're a typical house-cleaner. You have little education and few skills. You make a fair wage, your clients don't abuse you, you're paid on time. You have a flexible schedule that allows you to work around child care or sick family members. People appreciate what you do for them. Your clients are busy or sick or disabled and you come in and make their life easier.

And then one day someone comes along and says, "I'm firing you, because your job degrades you and exploits you." Did that person really just improve your life? Or was that judgment of your job as something to be ashamed of the worst thing about being a house-cleaner?

I'm not saying we should all hire maids for the good of humanity, or anything. But a cleaning-service is only exploitative and degrading if you treat that person poorly. Otherwise, it's a job like any other.

Could you please explain where you get the information that a typical housekeeper makes a fair wage with a flexible schedule and appreciative clients who always pay on time? That certainly doesn't match what I've read in either academic or non-academic (e.g., Nickel & Dimed) sources. In fact, I've only seen opposite claims -- housekeepers often work for large corporations that pay rock-bottom wages,  demand adherence to rigid schedules, and exploit their workers. Sure, it could be a nice job for an independent worker with the English skills and business savvy to compete with mega-corporations and create a nice niche for themselves, but most housekeepers are immigrants who either leave their children behind in their home country or work long hours and rely on public transportation, preventing them from spending much time with their families. Can you provide sources that show otherwise? I would be really interested in seeing a counter argument.

My personal housekeeper is an independant who shows up and cleans.  I leave her a check on the counter when she comes, so she technically gets paid before she even starts. 

Apples

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #61 on: July 08, 2015, 03:26:48 PM »
My personal housekeeper is an independant who shows up and cleans.  I leave her a check on the counter when she comes, so she technically gets paid before she even starts.

+1 Growing up, my parent's cleaning lady was independent and they left her cash on the counter.  So she was paid before she even began, and it was up to her how much to report as income.  She every once in a while changes her available time due to vacation, doctor's appt, kid's/grandkid's sporting event, etc.  She sets her own schedule and has raised her rates over time.  My grandparent's cleaning lady/helper extraordinaire is the same.  She sometimes even brings her two sons with her if she thinks they can help with something (pitting a bunch of cherries, weeding the garden...they get paid for their time of course).  Both women are natives and are fluent in English.  Both are paid in full and have flexible hours.  I live in the country, and this is a common choice, especially for mothers of elementary-age kids who don't need to be home all the time buy do need flexibility not offered in a receptionist or factory line job.

sol

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #62 on: July 08, 2015, 03:28:42 PM »
I would love to have someone who cleaned my house and folded my laundry, but I also feel crappy about spending $200 per month on this even though it really would make me sooooo happy.

One solution to this problem is to stop doing those things you hate doing.

Any kid older than about eight can make his or her own lunch.  If you don't want to do dishes, stop doing them and tell you're family to step up and pitch in at least as much as you do, like refuse to spend 30 minutes cooking dinner if they won't spend 30 minutes each cleaning up.  Tell the kids that anything you have to pick up for them beings to you, and you will either throw it away or sell it back to them.

In my experience, most people who fret about unequal division of household labor are people who volunteer to take on more than their fair share, for whatever reason.  Martyr complex, or parental guilt, or neat freaks.  Just stop, and find a new equilibrium.  Lazy people will always take advantage of your work ethic unless you stand up for yourself.

Now if the kids are like four, you're stuck.  Being a parent to young ones means doing all the work yourself, but I think part of being a good parent is helping them transition into greater personal responsibility as they age.  Lots of parents have trouble with making the switch from a provider role to a support role.

foobar

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #63 on: July 08, 2015, 03:43:07 PM »
As for the house-cleaning debate: I think it's kind of insulting to call that job "degrading" or "exploitative." Imagine you're a typical house-cleaner. You have little education and few skills. You make a fair wage, your clients don't abuse you, you're paid on time. You have a flexible schedule that allows you to work around child care or sick family members. People appreciate what you do for them. Your clients are busy or sick or disabled and you come in and make their life easier.

And then one day someone comes along and says, "I'm firing you, because your job degrades you and exploits you." Did that person really just improve your life? Or was that judgment of your job as something to be ashamed of the worst thing about being a house-cleaner?

I'm not saying we should all hire maids for the good of humanity, or anything. But a cleaning-service is only exploitative and degrading if you treat that person poorly. Otherwise, it's a job like any other.

Could you please explain where you get the information that a typical housekeeper makes a fair wage with a flexible schedule and appreciative clients who always pay on time? That certainly doesn't match what I've read in either academic or non-academic (e.g., Nickel & Dimed) sources. In fact, I've only seen opposite claims -- housekeepers often work for large corporations that pay rock-bottom wages,  demand adherence to rigid schedules, and exploit their workers. Sure, it could be a nice job for an independent worker with the English skills and business savvy to compete with mega-corporations and create a nice niche for themselves, but most housekeepers are immigrants who either leave their children behind in their home country or work long hours and rely on public transportation, preventing them from spending much time with their families. Can you provide sources that show otherwise? I would be really interested in seeing a counter argument.

My personal housekeeper is an independant who shows up and cleans.  I leave her a check on the counter when she comes, so she technically gets paid before she even starts.

I think housekeeper is a big vague. The ones that work individuals homes are more likely to be small bussiness (i.e. things like merry maids are franchises not a big corporation).. The ones doing commericail (motels, hotels, office space) cleaning are more likely to be large corporations in my experience. Obvious you can pick and choose who you deal with. We were paying about 25/hr. How that translates into a wage after factoring in travel and expenses I have no clue. ANd I worry more about the morality of the food I buy (i.e. think about the labour of anything from a big farm)than my house keeper. Out of sight shouldn't mean out of mind.

gReed Smith

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #64 on: July 08, 2015, 03:45:19 PM »
Most of the blog seems to be about salesmanship, which is a good topic for salespeople to consider.  I have noticed a trend among salespeople (and lawyers) to have to project a certain level of success, and that may actually be a benefit.  But this takes it a step beyond clean well-fitting clothes and a clean late model car.  The level of excess she advocates is guaranteed to keep her readers broke and riding the roller coaster of sales cycles. 
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 04:23:52 PM by gReed Smith »

Chris23

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #65 on: July 08, 2015, 04:19:39 PM »
I guess I should clarify that when I said "please provide sources" I meant representative data, not anecdotes.

dsmexpat

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #66 on: July 08, 2015, 10:15:46 PM »
I checked out her blog. She spends most of her time and money attending events and training with people who will teach her to be a successful entrepreneur. Her product that she, as a successful entrepreneur, sells? It's training and events and consultations on how you can become a successful entrepreneur like her. It's a pyramid scheme and she's on the bottom rung paying up and she's really proud about that because her participation in the pyramid scheme, and all the bullshit "you're a strong successful feminist black woman" that they feed her, allows her to look down on her peers.

She doesn't actually sell anything. She doesn't make anything. Her entire plan is to one day find a handful of people as stupid as she is so they can go into debt to pay off hers.

Kio

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #67 on: July 08, 2015, 10:31:43 PM »
Yikes, this is a little over the top... Though, by the end I started thinking maybe it was all an elaborate tactic from The Secret. 

Part of "manifesting" out into the universe includes telling people stuff that you *want* to happen, as if it actually has *already* happened.  Because you are stating it as a fact, then supposedly the universe really kicks in and wants to help you out.  So, if you want massages twice a day you could think into the universe "I will get massages twice a day."  But if you really want to level it up, you don't just think it. You start telling people "I get massages twice a day."

I always thought this was a brilliant marketing technique when it comes to testimonials!  All the manifester testimonials are incredible (I got a check in the mail for $1,000,000, I met the man of my dreams and he is a billionaire and we got married after dating 2 days, etc). I think the majority of 'testimonials' are actually people trying really hard to manifest.

wisermiser

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #68 on: July 08, 2015, 10:53:14 PM »
You can replace a foam roller with a PVC pipe and get pretty much the same results. - Dude who has foam rolled with a length of PVC pipe for years

+1 on the PVC pipe.  I bought a pre-cut plastic pipe at Home Depot for $10. Wrapping it in electric tape made it grippy enough to not slide around. I also "invested" in a rumble roller which I prefer but it will set you back $45.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2015, 11:22:49 PM by wisermiser »

iris lily

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #69 on: July 08, 2015, 11:01:06 PM »
What I find most interesting is the underlying rationale of "you're worth it" (with the it being the expensive bag, massage, etc).   To me, this is a red herring argument.   

We're not saying that *you're* not worth *it*; we're saying that *it*'s not worth *you* (eg., the bag's not worth your limited life energy you have to trade for it).

That's a good way to think about this "stuff."

iris lily

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #70 on: July 08, 2015, 11:02:33 PM »
I checked out her blog. She spends most of her time and money attending events and training with people who will teach her to be a successful entrepreneur. Her product that she, as a successful entrepreneur, sells? It's training and events and consultations on how you can become a successful entrepreneur like her. It's a pyramid scheme and she's on the bottom rung paying up and she's really proud about that because her participation in the pyramid scheme, and all the bullshit "you're a strong successful feminist black woman" that they feed her, allows her to look down on her peers.

She doesn't actually sell anything. She doesn't make anything. Her entire plan is to one day find a handful of people as stupid as she is so they can go into debt to pay off hers.

Thanks for confirming what this smelled like to me.

I take it back what I said earlier about her borrowing rent money from her mom. I'll bet she's actually living in her mother's basement.

gReed Smith

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #71 on: July 09, 2015, 05:30:37 AM »
I checked out her blog. She spends most of her time and money attending events and training with people who will teach her to be a successful entrepreneur. Her product that she, as a successful entrepreneur, sells? It's training and events and consultations on how you can become a successful entrepreneur like her. It's a pyramid scheme and she's on the bottom rung paying up and she's really proud about that because her participation in the pyramid scheme, and all the bullshit "you're a strong successful feminist black woman" that they feed her, allows her to look down on her peers.

She doesn't actually sell anything. She doesn't make anything. Her entire plan is to one day find a handful of people as stupid as she is so they can go into debt to pay off hers.

Thanks for confirming what this smelled like to me.

I take it back what I said earlier about her borrowing rent money from her mom. I'll bet she's actually living in her mother's basement.

Eh, we've all been taken in by the troll.  I doubt she spends as much as she says.  She is selling coaching and advice.  The last entry is about how she spent around $200k on coaching, and it was worth it.  She is trolling for people who spend money foolishly so that she can get some of their money. 

Chris22

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #72 on: July 09, 2015, 08:42:09 AM »
I guess I should clarify that when I said "please provide sources" I meant representative data, not anecdotes.

I'm not claiming my experience is typical, I'm informing that I am not exploiting my particular cleaning lady.

iluvzbeach

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #73 on: July 09, 2015, 06:38:48 PM »
That blog entry is the most ridiculous bit of bullshit I've ever read. She is delusional.

FrugalShrew

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #74 on: July 09, 2015, 07:19:35 PM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

I have the same problem: really tight hips, quads, calves and shoulder problems.

There is a mustachian solution though: Foam Rolling. Look it up. A good foam roller costs 20-30 dollars, can be used everyday for several years and feels better than a massage in my experience. I am in control of where it pushes and how hard, for me I really push the muscles around.

Once you start there is no going back, its an almost free massage and very meditative way to unwind.

Why buy a 30 dollar foam roller when you can buy a 5 dollar lacrosse ball? Are you made out of money or something? Thats like flying first class when you could choice to fly coach:)  I don't have a  clue how good the science behind applying pressure to muscles is, but it sure feels good in the short term.
I have a foam roller (paid $20), a lacrosse ball, and a tennis ball. 


A couple of years ago I started doing stretches and using a tennis ball to help with muscle tension. It's been a life changer. Start googling this stuff -- you will be amazed at how feasible it is to manage this issue!

Xlar

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #75 on: July 10, 2015, 07:22:44 AM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

Would you kill a man for $260k?  Cause that's about what it 2x weekly massages will cost ya.

Those must be some amazing massages.

I dunno... Figured a massage is about $100 bucks but maybe that's only for amazing ones.  Times two, times 52, times 25.

Twenty five years' worth makes a lot more sense.

It's not 25 years worth, it's the 4% rule and therefore you'd need 260k to have 2 massages a week, every week, for an infinite amount of time!

MgoSam

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #76 on: July 10, 2015, 12:46:36 PM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

Would you kill a man for $260k?  Cause that's about what it 2x weekly massages will cost ya.

Those must be some amazing massages.

I dunno... Figured a massage is about $100 bucks but maybe that's only for amazing ones.  Times two, times 52, times 25.

Twenty five years' worth makes a lot more sense.

It's not 25 years worth, it's the 4% rule and therefore you'd need 260k to have 2 massages a week, every week, for an infinite amount of time!

Seeing as it costs about $2000 to provide enough malaria nets to save a life (if you averaged out expenses). Technically, two massages a week might be argued to cost the same as saving 130 lives. The numbers may vary, but please keep in mind that when talking about money, money invested in a good charitable organization can mean the difference between life and death for some people.

Jags4186

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #77 on: July 10, 2015, 08:44:18 PM »
If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

GuitarStv

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #78 on: August 26, 2015, 06:11:11 AM »
You can replace a foam roller with a PVC pipe and get pretty much the same results. - Dude who has foam rolled with a length of PVC pipe for years

+1 on the PVC pipe.  I bought a pre-cut plastic pipe at Home Depot for $10. Wrapping it in electric tape made it grippy enough to not slide around. I also "invested" in a rumble roller which I prefer but it will set you back $45.

If you bike by places where they're doing construction you'll often find these pipes laying around at the side of the road.  It's a more mustachian option, and the pipes come completely clean with a little soap and water.

FatCat

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #79 on: August 26, 2015, 09:04:34 AM »
If she titled it "Expensive Things I bought that were Totally Worth it" it would be better. I don't think it's very helpful to women to tie these things to womanhood like her title suggests.

I've noticed a trend with this "I'm worth it" and "I deserve it" mentality. One friend of my mother's became indignant when I didn't want to buy something expensive that I neither wanted nor needed. "Do you not believe you are worth it? I know you are worth much more than you give yourself credit for." Um... I don't see how my desire to buy or not buy some luxury good is expressing my interpretation of my own self-worth as a human being. But in her mind "your worth it" is all that is needed to determine if you should or shouldn't buy something. And you're worth it if you're able to make the purchase, even if it's with a loan. And you need to "treat yourself" all the time. She buys a new luxury hand bag every couple of weeks, then shows it off while saying, "I really deserved this." She's got an extra bedroom piled with them. I guess she felt she 'deserved' more overpriced clutter for the pile.

I feel like this sort of mentality is keeping women down, not empowering them. People who go around viewing the world this way tend to be always broke no matter how much their income is. As soon as they get a paycheck, or any sort of savings, or even just credit line increase, the fact that the money is available is proof they 'deserve' to 'invest' this excess wealth in some luxury good or service.

iris lily

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #80 on: August 26, 2015, 09:22:57 AM »
If she titled it "Expensive Things I bought that were Totally Worth it" it would be better. I don't think it's very helpful to women to tie these things to womanhood like her title suggests.

I've noticed a trend with this "I'm worth it" and "I deserve it" mentality. One friend of my mother's became indignant when I didn't want to buy something expensive that I neither wanted nor needed. "Do you not believe you are worth it? I know you are worth much more than you give yourself credit for." Um... I don't see how my desire to buy or not buy some luxury good is expressing my interpretation of my own self-worth as a human being. But in her mind "your worth it" is all that is needed to determine if you should or shouldn't buy something. And you're worth it if you're able to make the purchase, even if it's with a loan. And you need to "treat yourself" all the time. She buys a new luxury hand bag every couple of weeks, then shows it off while saying, "I really deserved this." She's got an extra bedroom piled with them. I guess she felt she 'deserved' more overpriced clutter for the pile.

I feel like this sort of mentality is keeping women down, not empowering them. People who go around viewing the world this way tend to be always broke no matter how much their income is. As soon as they get a paycheck, or any sort of savings, or even just credit line increase, the fact that the money is available is proof they 'deserve' to 'invest' this excess wealth in some luxury good or service.

As a result of the post here on MMM, I signed on to Stephanie Sinclair's Facebook group because I want to figure out how much is real, and how much is faux.

Haven't figured it out yet, but she does have charisma, I have to say. It's just strange to read posts from her followers, all who seem to be "entrepreneurs" who sell advice on entrepreneurship. I don't get it.

We have a relative who teaches seminars to chiropractors on how to increase their sales and profits. He did this for about 20 years, made shit tons of money, and then retired early in Switzerland (he is from Switzerland.) His spiels are all about empowerment and positive thinking, tossed in with a bit of wisdom about reminding your patients that they have X, Y, and Z wrong with them and advice about how to find a new thing wrong with them when they come into your office.  Every malady means a $20 treatment every two weeks.

At least he is selling quasi-medical advice. Sort of. haha.

gReed Smith

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #81 on: August 26, 2015, 09:23:49 AM »
The entire concept of "deserving" or not "deserving" objects is nonsense.  You can afford it or you can't.  I think your mother will still love you regardless of your material possessions.

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #82 on: August 26, 2015, 10:58:02 AM »
If she titled it "Expensive Things I bought that were Totally Worth it" it would be better. I don't think it's very helpful to women to tie these things to womanhood like her title suggests.

I've noticed a trend with this "I'm worth it" and "I deserve it" mentality. One friend of my mother's became indignant when I didn't want to buy something expensive that I neither wanted nor needed. "Do you not believe you are worth it? I know you are worth much more than you give yourself credit for." Um... I don't see how my desire to buy or not buy some luxury good is expressing my interpretation of my own self-worth as a human being. But in her mind "your worth it" is all that is needed to determine if you should or shouldn't buy something. And you're worth it if you're able to make the purchase, even if it's with a loan. And you need to "treat yourself" all the time. She buys a new luxury hand bag every couple of weeks, then shows it off while saying, "I really deserved this." She's got an extra bedroom piled with them. I guess she felt she 'deserved' more overpriced clutter for the pile.

I feel like this sort of mentality is keeping women down, not empowering them. People who go around viewing the world this way tend to be always broke no matter how much their income is. As soon as they get a paycheck, or any sort of savings, or even just credit line increase, the fact that the money is available is proof they 'deserve' to 'invest' this excess wealth in some luxury good or service.

You speak the truth. My sister is this way. She apparently deserves nice thing even though she has no job. It's such an insidious and counterproductive mindset. And you're right. Women are more prone to it in my experience.

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #83 on: August 26, 2015, 11:03:01 AM »
As a result of the post here on MMM, I signed on to Stephanie Sinclair's Facebook group because I want to figure out how much is real, and how much is faux.

Haven't figured it out yet, but she does have charisma, I have to say. It's just strange to read posts from her followers, all who seem to be "entrepreneurs" who sell advice on entrepreneurship. I don't get it.
Like celebrities who are only famous for being famous?
Quote
We have a relative who teaches seminars to chiropractors on how to increase their sales and profits. He did this for about 20 years, made shit tons of money, and then retired early in Switzerland (he is from Switzerland.) His spiels are all about empowerment and positive thinking, tossed in with a bit of wisdom about reminding your patients that they have X, Y, and Z wrong with them and advice about how to find a new thing wrong with them when they come into your office.  Every malady means a $20 treatment every two weeks.

At least he is selling quasi-medical advice. Sort of. haha.
Took him 20 years to retire? What a loser. Haha. ;)

charis

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #84 on: August 26, 2015, 11:50:49 AM »
I guess I should clarify that when I said "please provide sources" I meant representative data, not anecdotes.

I'm not claiming my experience is typical, I'm informing that I am not exploiting my particular cleaning lady.

Someone telling you that they don't exploit their cleaning person is actual information concerning the non-exploitation of cleaning people.   If you want information on exploitation in the residential and commercial cleaning industry, you will have to seek info about that industry.  I also do not exploit my cleaning person.  We (and my parents when I was growing up) have an independent cleaner who gets paid ($30+/hr) before she starts cleaning.   We work around each others' schedules. 

Lyssa

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #85 on: August 27, 2015, 02:55:52 AM »
As for the house-cleaning debate: I think it's kind of insulting to call that job "degrading" or "exploitative." Imagine you're a typical house-cleaner. You have little education and few skills. You make a fair wage, your clients don't abuse you, you're paid on time. You have a flexible schedule that allows you to work around child care or sick family members. People appreciate what you do for them. Your clients are busy or sick or disabled and you come in and make their life easier.

And then one day someone comes along and says, "I'm firing you, because your job degrades you and exploits you." Did that person really just improve your life? Or was that judgment of your job as something to be ashamed of the worst thing about being a house-cleaner?

I'm not saying we should all hire maids for the good of humanity, or anything. But a cleaning-service is only exploitative and degrading if you treat that person poorly. Otherwise, it's a job like any other.

Could you please explain where you get the information that a typical housekeeper makes a fair wage with a flexible schedule and appreciative clients who always pay on time? That certainly doesn't match what I've read in either academic or non-academic (e.g., Nickel & Dimed) sources. In fact, I've only seen opposite claims -- housekeepers often work for large corporations that pay rock-bottom wages,  demand adherence to rigid schedules, and exploit their workers. Sure, it could be a nice job for an independent worker with the English skills and business savvy to compete with mega-corporations and create a nice niche for themselves, but most housekeepers are immigrants who either leave their children behind in their home country or work long hours and rely on public transportation, preventing them from spending much time with their families. Can you provide sources that show otherwise? I would be really interested in seeing a counter argument.

Most of my biglaw colleagues have cleaning ladies (one has a cleaning guy!). They usually work their own schedule and get about 15 EUR per hour cash. Apparently, it is more difficult to replace a good and trustworthy cleaning lady than for them to replace a client. Granted, this is a city with more than usual high earners.

Problems usually encountered by my co-workers include: Getting a housekeeper willing to work "legally", i.e. with taxes and social security and housekeeper suddenly slacking because girlfriend/wife moved in (oh yes, women can have that attitude to other women regardless of class).

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #86 on: August 27, 2015, 05:11:40 AM »
Haha having read that I was quite bemused by all the 'fad' pseudoscientific words she was saying
Quote
Its about the energy and vibrations that some of these things bring.
And
"Negative energy" etc etc. i was waiting for "quantum" didn't see it, and scrolled to the top. Lo and behold, what did I see? quantum leap.
*foreheads desk*

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #87 on: August 27, 2015, 11:48:51 AM »
I have been thinking about smattering my every day speech with nonsense buzzwords.  They do seem to be very effective for other people.  I am concerned however, that my average daily acquaintance is too smart to fall for it.  I work with lawyers and legal secretaries, and my wife is highly educated.  But I really want to tell everyone that my work is wonderful, I'm doing great things, and they're going to notice the positive energy that flows from it.

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #88 on: August 27, 2015, 12:09:57 PM »
Today I listened to another of Stephanie S's (the subject of this thread) podcasts. In the beginning she referenced "this industry" a couple of times and I perked up, hoping she would explain what exactly IS the industry she is in.

She did finally refer to her work in "the expert industry." So, it is "experts" we hire when we pay Stephanie and her coheres. Experts in what exactly, I can't say. I think,it is all about positivity coaching.

I wonder who these people are who pay people like Stephanie. She Needs only 34 people signed on for a standard $30,000 annual contract to create a million dollar business, as she says. Not that hard, according to her. Hmmmm.

sol

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #89 on: August 27, 2015, 01:49:29 PM »
Why not just get one person to sign on for a million dollar annual contract?  That seems even easier, using her logic.

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #90 on: August 27, 2015, 01:55:39 PM »
Most of my biglaw colleagues have cleaning ladies (one has a cleaning guy!). They usually work their own schedule and get about 15 EUR per hour cash. Apparently, it is more difficult to replace a good and trustworthy cleaning lady than for them to replace a client.
Well of course. A recent "open letter" regarding some dumb stuff done by a celebrity and publicized by a maltreated household employee sort of illuminated this for me. You aren't paying them to pick up your crap, you're paying them not to take advantage of the access they have. The work itself is easy. Trust? Shit... that's a rare commodity.

Why not just get one person to sign on for a million dollar annual contract?  That seems even easier, using her logic.
You beat me to the joke, though I was going to say just get 10 @ $100K each... I feel like I'd get tired of coaching the same tiresome client all the time. Ten different ones would give me some variety without having to come up with too many different ways of saying "you're stupid, do it better and keep paying me".

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #91 on: August 27, 2015, 10:38:48 PM »
Why not just get one person to sign on for a million dollar annual contract?  That seems even easier, using her logic.

oh yeah, why didn't I think of that! Skip right to the big deal and save myself a lot of time.

Sol. you need to set up as a higher level "expert" than Stephanie in the biz since you can accomplish the work in much less time.

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #92 on: August 28, 2015, 12:51:30 AM »
Why not just get one person to sign on for a million dollar annual contract?  That seems even easier, using her logic.

oh yeah, why didn't I think of that! Skip right to the big deal and save myself a lot of time.

Sol. you need to set up as a higher level "expert" than Stephanie in the biz since you can accomplish the work in much less time.

Double expert at only 1.5x the price

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #93 on: August 28, 2015, 01:15:48 AM »
All face-punching aside, as a dude who has chronically tight muscles and always has bits that hurt, I would kill a man to have 2x massages a week.

I have the same problem: really tight hips, quads, calves and shoulder problems.

There is a mustachian solution though: Foam Rolling. Look it up. A good foam roller costs 20-30 dollars, can be used everyday for several years and feels better than a massage in my experience. I am in control of where it pushes and how hard, for me I really push the muscles around.

Once you start there is no going back, its an almost free massage and very meditative way to unwind.

I married a massage therapist.  She's hella better than our foam roller.  But if I didn't have her I'd choose the foam roller over paying for regular massages.

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #94 on: December 27, 2016, 09:29:00 AM »
This thread is old, but I just found it, and it's hilarious, so I'm bumping it for anyone that missed it the first time around.  :)
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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #95 on: December 27, 2016, 12:15:56 PM »
That was sickening.  Somewhere in the comments somebody asked how much she "invested" in all of this, and she answered "around $200k/year" and said "The coaching alone is 6 figures"

Unreal.  I wish i could unread this. 


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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #96 on: December 27, 2016, 01:10:39 PM »
Thanks to Iris Lilly for the bump.

Not sure how she needs to hire a private chef to have more time with her child, while going and getting massages two times a week...

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #97 on: December 29, 2016, 07:51:48 PM »
I guess I should clarify that when I said "please provide sources" I meant representative data, not anecdotes.

https://www.care.com/house-cleaners

This site showed a host of independent home cleaners who were charging $10-15 an hour, with some charging well over that.  I live in a fairly low cost of living area.


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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #98 on: December 29, 2016, 09:02:28 PM »
Egads!  I read #1 and found myself agreeing that yes, I think good bras are something that's worth spending gobs of money on. On any given day my bra probably cost as much or more than everything else I'm wearing combined. I started wondering how bad this could be -- didn't have to wonder long!
I have to side with her on this item.  If you're an average size, perhaps this doesn't apply to you, but if you're "busty", yeah, you need a bit more ... however, that doesn't mean you have to spend $100+ on a bra.  Same thing's true for bathing suits.  It's mean and catty to point it out, but ... she's stretching the truth when she says she's "busty" -- her picture makes her look like she's just heavy all over; if she were to "invest" in a gym membership, she might not need the support she needs now. 

Regardless, I'd temper this "investment" by saying 1) always buy on sale; 2) take care of these expensive items by hand washing them; 3) keep in mind that if you splurge this way, that money has to come off other parts of your budget. 

This is very interesting to me. As someone in the urban homesteading community, we tend to take the opposite view: when you outsource the irritating domestic stuff in your life, you are typically supporting industries where other workers are taken advantage of. I mean, at the end of the day, SOMEONE has to do the house cleaning and the shopping and the baby-watching and the food growing. The commenter's view that she can outsource "being a mule" to some other person (99% likelihood this person is a woman lower on the socio-economic ladder than herself) and that this is "giving other women permission to be queens" seems to lack self awareness.
Exactly!  Money aside, it's hard to buy into the idea that you're an enlightened person because you spend, spend, spend ... and never give a thought to "the little people" whom you hire to do all the dirty jobs in your life.  I guess we can't all be "queens".

Clothing is only an investment if it makes you money. If she's "investing" in her appearance, it means...
Well, clothing is a necessity, and it's easy to let the word "investment" slide into everyday shopping -- when you're talking about something like a good wool coat that might last you more than a decade.  Or when you're talking about buying the better-quality suit.  And if you're expected to dress professionally for your job, clothing can be an "investment" in that you can expect to use these things to convey the necessary image at your job.  Ultimately, it makes more sense to say that item of clothing was a "good spend".
I disagree. If I were to speculate, I would bet that the blogger and most of her followers are first generation college graduates, whose parents worked low-skilled jobs and possibly barely eeked their way into the middle class. Other than getting into college and getting a "good" job, there was probably very little financial knowledge or guidance passed on.

They live in fear of working like dogs, like their mothers, and their only real idea of what "success" looks like is from TV - Sex and the City, celebrities, etc. No one ever told them that success meant having savings or what it meant to invest. Every message they've ever heard is that successful people get to look and act rich.

Coveting designer handbags is a sign of new money (girls with family money who get MRS degrees have had designer bags since they were 13, and have no need to convince themselves that they deserve it - daddy did that long ago). And note that the author believes that flying First Class will expose her to people who are doing BIG THINGS - instead of the reality - that they are just normal people with first class tickets. People with family money don't have the mistaken impression that something particularly special is happening between passengers in First Class. Girls with family money who got into the best colleges for MRS degrees don't need money coaches, or business coaches, or health coaches, or life coaches - those lessons were part of their formal and informal education.

People whose parents were rich don't need to take classes about lifestyle. Classes about lifestyle are for people who are battling insecurity that they don't quite fit in to their current socio-economic class. It's almost as if the blogger is afraid that she's going to be kicked out of the "rich kids club" if they find out what she really is.

I mean... if I were going to psycho-analyze this. ;)
At a glance, I bet you're right about who'd want her "services".  She's giving the newly-rich "permission" to spend on themselves, and I know people to whom that would appeal. 

As for flying first class, I've done it plenty of times ... when my parents worked for the airlines and it was free.  On my own dollar, no thanks.  I've literally NEVER made any connections with my fellow travelers, and at the end of the flight that "investment" is gone.

As a man I don't understand the value of purses. For a $3000 purse, are they that differently designed? Is it just the brand name? Are purses something that other women would recognize and appreciate seeing someone else carrying a Gucci purse?
I'm guessing that perhaps 20-25% of women are into expensive purses.  Some of my teenaged students are big-time into expensive purses and talk about whose purse is a fake and whose is real.  I personally can't recognize name brands and don't care a hoot (so attempting to fool me with a fake is really, really useless), and I think most of my peers feel the same way. 

I no longer buy $10-20 handbags because they fall apart so quickly.  Instead, I wait for the $100 bags to go on sale for $50 (happens all the time).  At that price point, you can get a quality bag that will last for years -- and beyond that price, I don't think there's any quality difference ... it's all just ego and name brand. 

MrsPete

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Re: This blog entry... oh boy...
« Reply #99 on: December 29, 2016, 09:38:06 PM »
Could you please explain where you get the information that a typical housekeeper makes a fair wage with a flexible schedule and appreciative clients who always pay on time? That certainly doesn't match what I've read in either academic or non-academic (e.g., Nickel & Dimed) sources.
First, I don't think Nickle & Dimed was a particularly credible source.  The author made up her mind what she was going to find, and then she went out and found it.  As someone who's actually been poor, I assure you, she put effort into earning a low wage, but she put no effort into figuring out how poor people make it day-to-day. 

Putting that aside, I had a teacher friend who left teaching for 2-3 years and cleaned a couple businesses in the evenings.  She made this choice because she had one child ... and then had a second "oops" baby only a year later.  With two boys so young, the daycare was too much for her teacher salary, yet she still needed some income.  She and her husband worked out a situation in which they didn't need day care:  She was home with the boys all day, then her husband came home and she went out a couple nights a week to do commercial cleaning.  When she came back to teaching, she talked about it at length.  She said that she made almost as much money as she did teaching ... and she worked fewer hours.  However, she was anxious to come back to teaching because she and her husband had so little whole-family time together, and it meant she was essentially doing "two shifts" each day -- one at home, one at an after-hours job, which was hard on her.  And the biggie:  She was receiving ONLY a paycheck, no benefits, no years built towards her pension.  But she said she liked the work okay. 

Disclaimers:  My friend is white, American-born and college educated.  She possessed reliable transportation, could pass a drug test, had no criminal record, and could provide excellent job references.  And she is a native English speaker.  In other words, she probably commanded the highest possible wages for a cleaning person.