Author Topic: Things my HUSBAND says :(  (Read 9106 times)

chaskavitch

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 432
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Fort Collins, CO
Things my HUSBAND says :(
« on: September 18, 2015, 07:19:46 AM »
Last night, driving home from our weekly small group for church (in our enormous PZE 2011 Subaru Outback that works amazingly), my husband says "I want to buy a Tesla..."

I'm all "screw that noise, they cost $60,000.  For a cheap one.  WITH rebates." 

He responds with "I just want to be able to roll up to a stoplight and look at all those dudes with their $70,000 - $90,000 Chargers and Mustangs and be like 'Wanna race?' and then blow them out of the water on the start.  It'd be awesome!  And how cool would it be to have a Tesla?  It's what people do!  My coworkers all think it would be great :)"

"So you don't want to buy a new vehicle because a truck would be useful, or because this car only runs half the time (it runs perfectly), or because we need more room because we have like 12 kids or something (we have zero)?  You want a car for literally the worst reasons I've ever heard in my life - 'because it'd be cool' and 'because I want to feel more manly against someone I've never met before for about 4 seconds at a stoplight'?"

"...yeah!"

/facepalm.  He'd never actually go out and buy anything super expensive without talking about it first, and he's fairly good about sticking to our budget, but seriously.  This is what I live with.

MrMoneyMaxwell

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 65
  • Age: 36
  • Location: Colorado
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2015, 07:30:51 AM »
That's the only reason the new car industry even exists. Because most people don't have that internal emergency brake that prevents them from buying (or leasing) things they just don't need. At least you both hit the brakes on that choice, could be worse.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3612
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2015, 08:14:15 AM »
I'm not going to lie, I would like to get a sporty car someday. I've driven a Camry my entire adult life and while I love it, some day I would prefer to drive something a little more flashy.

Your husband's reasoning may not make sense, but it could be similar to what I am thinking.

FatCat

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 236
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2015, 08:26:57 AM »
Last weekend a family member told me I should buy a Tesla because the gas savings will make it free anyway. He would have bought one already but his credit isn't good enough to get a loan.

Fishindude

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1723
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2015, 08:27:34 AM »
Sounds like perfect logic to me.
I prefer the rumble of a V8, so we keep a really nice Mustang convertible in the garage.
The wife is convinced I bought it for her :)

runningthroughFIRE

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 318
  • Age: 25
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
  • Ask for broader shoulders.
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2015, 08:43:29 AM »
Sounds like he knows he's being whimsical and wouldn't actually do it, so what's the harm in entertaining the thought?  I'd freaking love to buy a Tesla, but I won't do it unless/until it makes sense to do so.

chaskavitch

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 432
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Fort Collins, CO
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2015, 09:03:16 AM »
It's true, it'd be super cool to have a Tesla :)  I told him if we suddenly come into a million dollars, we could buy one after we paid off our house and put a bunch of money into investments accounts for our future children. 

The problem is more that he grew up with big trips and big presents, and I grew up camping and being like "sweet, I got 15 books for Christmas because Mom is great at finding cool stuff at Goodwill!"  He's far more frugal than his parents, but far less frugal than I'd like him to be, and it commonly leads to minor conflicts about what it is a good idea to do with our "extra" money.

An example of what he grew up with: his dad passed away about 10 years ago, his mom is almost 60, doesn't have nearly enough saved to retire at a "normal" retirement age, and still owes money on her house.  However, she bought us a Nest for Christmas to replace our programmable thermostat (~$250), in addition to Keen sandals for DH ($90) and a new iPod for my sister-in-law (IDK how much those things cost.  Too much?).

Like I said though, he's coming along to a slightly more frugal mindset, other than occasional minor breakdowns about how we must be doing it wrong because his co-workers get to go on big trips and have hot tubs in their backyards, and we're still saving up for kids, lol.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2015, 09:05:23 AM by chaskavitch »

JLee

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4720
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2015, 10:25:02 AM »
Honestly, if a performance-model Tesla was in the $20-30k range...I would be sorely tempted.

Until then, I'll keep driving my 25yo MR2. :)

Rezdent

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 816
  • Location: Central Texas
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2015, 11:54:58 AM »
My DH has the car thing.
He geeks over random expensive cars all.the.time.

And I don't get it.  To me, a car is a machine that will transport more people and stuff faster and further than most other options, so I have one that I bought just to do that.
I care little about make/model, I buy what suits my needs best, and have zero interest in what others bought.

Which frustrates my poor DH when he says something like 'oh, sweet!  Look at that Tesla!'.  Then has to show me exactly which one is the Tesla, and talk about its coolness, and five minutes later I cannot remember which one was the Tesla or what makes it cool.

Somehow, car manufacturers have latched onto something really deep into people (mostly guys?) and elevated autos into something much bigger than transportation.

HairyUpperLip

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 897
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2015, 12:02:06 PM »

Somehow, car manufacturers have latched onto something really deep into people (mostly guys?) and elevated autos into something much bigger than transportation.

Yeah, but imagine if yarn manufacturers were able to latch onto something really deep in knitting people and elevated knitting into something much bigger than clothing - maybe they even do it as a hobby?

I get the thought but not understanding other people's hobbies should be respected because we all like different things... 

2ndTimer

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4808
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2015, 12:07:22 PM »
Best answer:  Great idea, darling.  That way I know you will never get a chance to cheat on me because all women know what man in a fancy car is compensating for."

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2954
  • Location: Emmaus, PA
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2015, 12:07:45 PM »
Yeah but it's not that I want a Volt because working on it would be my hobby or anything...I just think it would be effin' sweet. Not a great reason to upgrade my car by $5000. But boy is it tempting.

Giro

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 590
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2015, 12:11:48 PM »
I LOVE LOVE LOVE cars so I better not weigh in.  I drove a Toyota Corolla for 5 years and died a little each day driving it.

Today, I drive the sh*t out of my sports car and love every second.  I'm still learning to control that beast and it's the most fun EVAH!

okay, back to OP...yea, cars are utility. 

JLee

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4720
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2015, 12:12:36 PM »
Best answer:  Great idea, darling.  That way I know you will never get a chance to cheat on me because all women know what man in a fancy car is compensating for."
I've found that passenger reaction isn't really gender-dependent.

My DH has the car thing.
He geeks over random expensive cars all.the.time.

And I don't get it.  To me, a car is a machine that will transport more people and stuff faster and further than most other options, so I have one that I bought just to do that.
I care little about make/model, I buy what suits my needs best, and have zero interest in what others bought.

Which frustrates my poor DH when he says something like 'oh, sweet!  Look at that Tesla!'.  Then has to show me exactly which one is the Tesla, and talk about its coolness, and five minutes later I cannot remember which one was the Tesla or what makes it cool.

Somehow, car manufacturers have latched onto something really deep into people (mostly guys?) and elevated autos into something much bigger than transportation.
I can understand not caring about cars, but I don't understand an inability to recognize why someone might have a passion for something (unless it's just about the dollar value, and not really the car?).

I race (endurance road course) in a lighthearted semi-competitive series for cheap cars. It's awesome. It's fun. It's also utterly pointless from a "practical" perspective - but I love it.

I also realize that to you, I'd sound like this. :P

MustardTiger

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 180
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2015, 01:06:07 PM »
I drive an s2000.  It is not practical, doesn't get great gas mileage, and has no storage space.  My reason for enjoying it are very similar actually, besides being much cheaper than a tesla.

Rezdent

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 816
  • Location: Central Texas
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2015, 01:26:21 PM »

I can understand not caring about cars, but I don't understand an inability to recognize why someone might have a passion for something (unless it's just about the dollar value, and not really the car?).

I race (endurance road course) in a lighthearted semi-competitive series for cheap cars. It's awesome. It's fun. It's also utterly pointless from a "practical" perspective - but I love it.

I also realize that to you, I'd sound like this. :P
Your example in the link is hilarious thank you!
If you really are into cars that much, you could probably spend lots of hours talking with my husband...
Maybe I wasn't as clear as I hoped - he has this deep interest in cars, and often shares with me.  I get that, and I try to follow along with his enthusiasm as he shares why this or that is so particularly cool.  I'm not dissing him at all, and he enjoys explaining it to me.  I just get lost in the talks, and later can't really repeat back the engine size or whatever.

Ashyukun

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 270
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2015, 01:43:05 PM »

I can understand not caring about cars, but I don't understand an inability to recognize why someone might have a passion for something (unless it's just about the dollar value, and not really the car?).

I race (endurance road course) in a lighthearted semi-competitive series for cheap cars. It's awesome. It's fun. It's also utterly pointless from a "practical" perspective - but I love it.

I also realize that to you, I'd sound like this. :P
Your example in the link is hilarious thank you!
If you really are into cars that much, you could probably spend lots of hours talking with my husband...
Maybe I wasn't as clear as I hoped - he has this deep interest in cars, and often shares with me.  I get that, and I try to follow along with his enthusiasm as he shares why this or that is so particularly cool.  I'm not dissing him at all, and he enjoys explaining it to me.  I just get lost in the talks, and later can't really repeat back the engine size or whatever.
You'd probably get along well with my wife, I know I go on way too much about something or other involving cars that she couldn't care less about or will probably remember the first thing about. Early on when we were dating and I started explaining something in entirely too much detail she stopped me and pointed out that after a short time what I was saying began to sound about as comprehensible to her as the teachers/adults on Charlie Brown ('voiced' by trombones). :p

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5490
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2015, 02:20:33 PM »
Last night, driving home from our weekly small group for church (in our enormous PZE 2011 Subaru Outback that works amazingly), my husband says "I want to buy a Tesla..."

I'm all "screw that noise, they cost $60,000.  For a cheap one.  WITH rebates." 

He responds with "I just want to be able to roll up to a stoplight and look at all those dudes with their $70,000 - $90,000 Chargers and Mustangs and be like 'Wanna race?' and then blow them out of the water on the start.  It'd be awesome!  And how cool would it be to have a Tesla?  It's what people do!  My coworkers all think it would be great :)"

"So you don't want to buy a new vehicle because a truck would be useful, or because this car only runs half the time (it runs perfectly), or because we need more room because we have like 12 kids or something (we have zero)?  You want a car for literally the worst reasons I've ever heard in my life - 'because it'd be cool' and 'because I want to feel more manly against someone I've never met before for about 4 seconds at a stoplight'?"

"...yeah!"

/facepalm.  He'd never actually go out and buy anything super expensive without talking about it first, and he's fairly good about sticking to our budget, but seriously.  This is what I live with.
Seriously.  My smart, sexy, practical, frugal, electrical engineer, 47 year old husband and father of two young boys...wants a Tesla. (The man owned a rusty 1986 Chevy Nova when we met and married.)
It started with a Prius.
My 9 year old wants one now too.

Seriously boys, if we are EVER upgrading the 2006 Matrix before the 9 year old goes to college, then we're getting a used minivan. Screw the tesla.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2015, 02:22:11 PM by mm1970 »

YoungInvestor

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 382
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2015, 03:39:51 PM »
I get the passion.

I would entirely delay my retirement by a few years to be able to afford good cars. The fact that I'd have to buy a shitty car if I were to buy one at all is enough to make me walk and take public transportation everywhere.

I die a little when driving boring ones.

Is it pointless? Sure. So are many other things I enjoy.

Argyle

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 909
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #19 on: September 18, 2015, 03:51:08 PM »
This is a variant on what Deborah Tannen wrote about in her book You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation.  From the Wikipedia summary:

"For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships ... For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order."

So your husband is daydreaming about how great it would be to come upon strangers (male strangers) who would judge him as more lowly because their cars were more expensive, and then he'd surprise them with a high-status car move.  Yay!  He wins the status competition!  That's his daydream.

Yeah, I don't think it's worth spending $70,000 on either.  But I guess that status yearning is pretty powerful.  Other men seem to interpet the big trucks or the sports cars in just the way the owners do.  Women, I find, generally see them and think "Mid-life crisis" or "Small penis."

2Birds1Stone

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4168
  • Age: 31
  • Location: New York
  • Peter Gibbons
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #20 on: September 18, 2015, 04:35:37 PM »
With a 3 second 0-60 mph I understand where those statements come from, acting on them.......a whole different story =D

gimp

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2359
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #21 on: September 18, 2015, 04:47:14 PM »
They're good cars. Not my style, but they're good cars.

With that said, how many people here actually care about 0-60 time? As long as it's decent enough to merge onto the highway... I am much more interested in 60-100 time. The model S, apparently, does quite good there as well, which is a bit surprising.

gaja

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 964
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #22 on: September 18, 2015, 04:58:47 PM »
Most electric cars have good 0-100. The best one I've tried is the Buddy, but the Renault twizy is also good. You could suggest he try those instead?
Travelling to 71 Northern Latitude in an electric car: http://travelelectric.blogspot.no/

BlueMR2

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1958
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2015, 08:14:48 AM »
Honestly, if a performance-model Tesla was in the $20-30k range...I would be sorely tempted.

Until then, I'll keep driving my 25yo MR2. :)

You could *give* me a Tesla, and I'd still keep driving my 25 year old MR2.  Tesla is going the wrong way with cars, I want less electronic doodads.  My dream car is a nice old carb'd Countach without power steering or even power brakes.  :-)

okits

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6604
  • Location: Canada
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2015, 02:16:19 PM »
Suggest he get a second job to do it. :)  That would probably quickly weed out what is and isn't worth spending seventy thousand after-tax dollars on.

zephyr911

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3634
  • Age: 40
  • Location: Northern Alabama
  • I'm just happy to be here. \m/ ^_^ \m/
    • Pinhook Development LLC
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #25 on: September 21, 2015, 08:53:38 AM »
I rode in a P85D on Saturday and the 0-60 time is real - it's mind-boggling. Even with a thousand pounds of humans inside.

The vastly reduced cost of operation is also real, but you can get that for a fraction of the price so calling it free is idiotic (most people would have to drive one 20-30 years to make that true). Used Volts and Leafs achieve 90-95% of the cost savings for as little as $10K now.

All that said, the last thing I'm going to have to decide for myself before I quit my current full-time job is whether to stay a little longer to pay for a well-used Model S - a 60 or an 85, no performance package, no AWD, etc. Why? Going 100% gas-free matters to me, and it holds way more shit. I have nothing to prove, aside from the viability of electric transport. We'll see where prices are when the time comes.
Semi-FIREd December 2017, part-time entrepreneur, lover of puppies and saltwater.

HairyUpperLip

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 897
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #26 on: September 21, 2015, 09:35:35 AM »
I rode in a P85D on Saturday and the 0-60 time is real - it's mind-boggling. Even with a thousand pounds of humans inside.

The vastly reduced cost of operation is also real, but you can get that for a fraction of the price so calling it free is idiotic (most people would have to drive one 20-30 years to make that true). Used Volts and Leafs achieve 90-95% of the cost savings for as little as $10K now.

All that said, the last thing I'm going to have to decide for myself before I quit my current full-time job is whether to stay a little longer to pay for a well-used Model S - a 60 or an 85, no performance package, no AWD, etc. Why? Going 100% gas-free matters to me, and it holds way more shit. I have nothing to prove, aside from the viability of electric transport. We'll see where prices are when the time comes.

I need to attend the next Tesla test drive event they always email me about.

Mntngoat

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 51
  • Location: Southern California
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #27 on: September 21, 2015, 10:07:01 AM »
id gladly  continue to drive my payment free  dodge 2500 Cummins diesel that my employer pays the fuel for. 
true a Tesla  may be faster  but i can pull your house off its foundation, and since i don't worry about the cost of fuel....

ML

AZDude

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1298
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #28 on: September 21, 2015, 10:37:56 AM »
He sounds like me. It would be great to drive a Tesla. I would never actually buy one, because of the obvious, but that does not change the fact that rolling up in a Tesla would be awesome. Nothing wrong with fantasizing about the ridiculous while you keep stashing cash...

Making Cookies

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1652
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #29 on: September 21, 2015, 10:51:39 AM »
Last weekend a family member told me I should buy a Tesla because the gas savings will make it free anyway. He would have bought one already but his credit isn't good enough to get a loan.

Yeah 300K of miles driving my no-so efficient four banger SUV has cost me an estimated $30K in fuel.

The car industry relies on the concepts of "cool" and "badass" to sell their product. I no longer care what anyone thinks of what I drive. I love cars but I'm not going into that kind of debt to impress anyone with how I carry my backside around town.

I DO care about what I drive but I don't care what someone else thinks of what I drive.

That all said if I had the money and reality was tossed out the window there is no new car I'd rather have than the AWD Tesla S.

One of my daily drivers used to be an antique pickup truck. It was certainly fun (for a while) to see everyone gravitate towards me to talk about their "Daddy's old truck" that was just like mine. I had to build in an extra 20 minutes to every hardware store and grocery store run. ;)
« Last Edit: September 21, 2015, 12:20:40 PM by Joe Average »

Kaspian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1538
  • Location: Canada
    • My Necronomicon of Badassity
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #30 on: September 21, 2015, 01:04:56 PM »
And how cool would it be to have a Tesla?  It's what people do!  ...'because it'd be cool' and 'because I want to feel more manly against someone I've never met before for about 4 seconds at a stoplight'?"

Sadly, it's not "cool" or manly at all.  That piece wussiness doesn't even make the list.

In actual order of manly coolness:  a hot air balloon, a swamp boat, a helicopter, a Panzer tank, a submarine, the Batmobile, a B3 bomber, a zeppelin, the Millennium Falcon.

"30 bucks?! What are you, crazy? I don't have that kind of money." - Trailer Park Boys
Journal = Necronomicon of Badassity

Skalm

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 52
Re: Things my HUSBAND says :(
« Reply #31 on: September 21, 2015, 09:19:33 PM »
I get why he wants it - it's shiny, it's neat, it's new.

It's the same reason I bought my shiny, neat, new motorcycle. Except after six months, it wasn't new anymore. And after it got in two accidents, it wasn't shiny anymore. And now that it sits for a couple days at a time before I take it for a spin around the block, it's not really that neat anymore.

I'd love to own a Tesla. But I know that I'd get so tired of it so quickly, and that an electric bicycle would be way better in the long run.