Author Topic: The allure of spending  (Read 10758 times)

Tabaxus

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The allure of spending
« on: December 31, 2015, 08:35:07 AM »
Got my bonus yesterday.  Spent hours salivating over toys that I emphatically do not need.  A Tesla* (I don't currently own a car, but my god, if I was to own a car, I would want it to be a Tesla); a boat, even though I have never actually driven a boat; a TV as large as my wall; a new phone; a new computer; a house* (I currently rent).

I did this for a few hours (slow, slow, slow at work).  I managed to avoid buying anything other than Vanguard TSM (which, of course, promptly declined on me yesterday and is declining today, too), but I have included this in the antimustachian wall because I completely understand the allure of "I HAVE MONEY.  I WANT TO SPEND IT.  SPEND IT ALL."  I am nowhere close yet to the zen that most of the people around here have, where you don't feel like you're depriving yourselves by not spending gobs of money, and I'm envious.

*No, my bonus would not have paid for these things outright, but it was enough that it would have pushed me over the line on being able to "comfortably" buy one of these things (or, in the case of a house, lay down a down payment significantly in excess of 20%, or put a 20% downpayment on a ridiculously nice place)  while still having a large amount of FU money.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2015, 08:47:01 AM by Tabaxus »

onlykelsey

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2015, 08:38:55 AM »
Just got my first (rising fifth-year) BigLaw bonus and am fighting the urge to do something similar.  If you are a visual person, I find plugging the numbers in to a retirement calculator (and then adding your bonus) to watch the lines jump around to be strangely gratifying.  It makes me feel like I'm still "getting" something for my money.  A friend converts it back to his normal salary (ie this is worth 3 months of my normal salary) and moves his FU date up accordingly, which he finds gratifying.

Quote
a boat, even though I have never actually driven a boat
- I lol-ed.

DagobertDuck

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2015, 08:42:16 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

Tabaxus

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2015, 08:47:48 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

Undecided

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2015, 09:33:47 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

Boats are like investment asset allocation. If you're unhappy about your boat ownership, it's the wrong boat, but that doesn't mean you couldn't enjoy some boat. My boat cost me (used) about 0.4% of a year's pay at the time I bought it, and I haven't had any regrets about it.

Cathy

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2015, 10:19:08 AM »
... I have included this in the antimustachian wall because I completely understand the allure of "I HAVE MONEY.  I WANT TO SPEND IT.  SPEND IT ALL."  I am nowhere close yet to the zen that most of the people around here have, where you don't feel like you're depriving yourselves by not spending gobs of money, and I'm envious.
[I] am fighting the urge to [spend money]. ...

I've never experienced an urge to spend money, ever. In my case, this isn't because of zen meditation or deep contemplation. I wasn't persuaded by a sophisticated philosophical, environmental, or socioeconomic argument. It's just the way I've always been. For me, the lack of such urges is an innate characteristic.

It sounds like you've both managed to avoid acting on the urges, so I wouldn't feel too bad if I were you. Maybe it might help to realise that money is fungible. Money received in the form of a lump sum is the same stuff as money received in other ways; there's no reason to treat it differently from your other funds.

MonkeyJenga

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2015, 10:26:28 AM »
I have money and I also have a deep desire to spend it... on quitting my damn job and never stepping foot inside an office building ever again!

I feel like I'm depriving myself every time I spend money on something unnecessary, because that's chaining me to a desk for another X hours of my life.

Fuck the boat. I want a hammock and a day off.

Tabaxus

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2015, 10:32:47 AM »
... I have included this in the antimustachian wall because I completely understand the allure of "I HAVE MONEY.  I WANT TO SPEND IT.  SPEND IT ALL."  I am nowhere close yet to the zen that most of the people around here have, where you don't feel like you're depriving yourselves by not spending gobs of money, and I'm envious.
[I] am fighting the urge to [spend money]. ...

I've never experienced an urge to spend money, ever. In my case, this isn't because of zen meditation or deep contemplation. I wasn't persuaded by a sophisticated philosophical, environmental, or socioeconomic argument. It's just the way I've always been. For me, the lack of such urges is an innate characteristic.

It sounds like you've both managed to avoid acting on the urges, so I wouldn't feel too bad if I were you. Maybe it might help to realise that money is fungible. Money received in the form of a lump sum is the same stuff as money received in other ways; there's no reason to treat it differently from your other funds.

Money is absolutely fungible.  However, when you get smaller amounts of it spread over time, you're depositing it into investments as you go.  At the end of the year, you get a single big check, with no way to automatically route it into investment--heck of a lot easier to get caught up in "right now, my checking account has $X in it, with which I could buy things 1, 2, and 3."  Would take several months of allowing money to accumulate in checking without investing it--or cashing out investments (at a loss, given how this year has gone)--to make the same purchase.  It's a different feeling, at least to me, even though I'm fully aware that the money is fungible and this whole thing is ridiculous.

Jenga--that, of course, is what eventually knocked my head straight and had the money go into Vanguard instead of a Tesla pre-buy;)

mlejw6

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2015, 01:54:06 PM »
I have never actually driven a boat

Driven a boat? I don't understand...... One may *paddle* a boat. Or *row* a boat. If one is rich, one may even *sail* a boat. But never drive. xD

jinga nation

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2015, 02:08:06 PM »
A chap at my workplace has a Tesla, a 70D model. I asked him about the Tesla as he was parked next to my car. He said it is a great car, but he went on some overseas assignment for a few years, and got a huge bonus since he didn't get to see his wife and kids. I call it the pain payout.
This was our conversation:
Him: I wouldn't have bought the car if it wasn't for the bonus. It was burning a hole in my pocket so I wanted to buy a car that goes up in value.
Me: How do you feel about driving a 'low-polluting' car, and maintenance?
Him: My home electricity bills have shot up, since there are no charging stations at work to offset the cost. Also, I have to drive from Tampa to Miami to get issues taken care of.
Me: What if the car stops due to a malfunction? Where do you tow it to?
Him: I don't know, and fingers crossed it doesn't happen. I'm getting tired of spending a whole weekend once a quarter getting service and my wife isn't happy. It's a great car to rent but pain to maintain and insure. I don't think I'll buy another one. I might trade it in at some point for a Nissan Leaf or another EV or hybrid.

I have always lusted after them, but I'm not going to destroy my FIRE goal for a Tesla.

MonkeyJenga

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2015, 02:09:00 PM »
Jenga--that, of course, is what eventually knocked my head straight and had the money go into Vanguard instead of a Tesla pre-buy;)

Soon enough that will be the default attitude and you'll be so zen and shit that you won't even be tempted by the Tesla. Of course, I'm biased, because I hate driving and never want to own a car. :)

Papa Mustache

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2015, 02:34:07 PM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

We own a boat. We love it.

Actually it is a canoe. And it fits in the shed.

I recommend kayaks and canoes. Everything else needs a major tow vehicle. ;)

Tabaxus

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2015, 02:42:32 PM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

We own a boat. We love it.

Actually it is a canoe. And it fits in the shed.

I recommend kayaks and canoes. Everything else needs a major tow vehicle. ;)

Ha.  Not the kind of boat I have in mind.  Obviously, since I have in mind the kind of boat that you drive;)  I do actually enjoy kayaking, but I'd never think to buy a kayak.  Everywhere I'd do that makes it really easy to rent one.  And, of course, that's where the insanity comes in, because it's pretty dang easy to rent a motorboat if you want to use one, too.


One Noisy Cat

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2015, 05:13:59 PM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.


As one warrant officer I knew in the military told me when he bought a sailboat: A boat owner has two happy days. The day he buys it and the day he sells it.

Adventine

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2015, 05:25:52 PM »
I totally get it, OP. Every year, I fantasize about all the things I could buy with my bonus... right up to the second before clicking "transfer" to move the cash into my investment account.

Papa Mustache

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #15 on: December 31, 2015, 05:28:27 PM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

We own a boat. We love it.

Actually it is a canoe. And it fits in the shed.

I recommend kayaks and canoes. Everything else needs a major tow vehicle. ;)

Ha.  Not the kind of boat I have in mind.  Obviously, since I have in mind the kind of boat that you drive;)  I do actually enjoy kayaking, but I'd never think to buy a kayak.  Everywhere I'd do that makes it really easy to rent one.  And, of course, that's where the insanity comes in, because it's pretty dang easy to rent a motorboat if you want to use one, too.

Whaaaaatttt? You've never waterskied behind a canoe??? You haven't lived!!!!

cchrissyy

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2015, 05:43:33 PM »
I don't have that urge to spend.
 Instead, I quite like looking at an account balance online and just seeing that it's there.

When I think of whatever I could buy, I immediately think, if I did that I wouldn't be able to log in and see $x any more, it would be lower. And there is no contest, I get more happiness - and more options for my future - by keeping balances high as I can.

Runner77

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2015, 06:20:05 PM »
I do the same thing every year upon receiving my bonus, it use to be very tempting. Today I get a lot of satisfaction knowing I could pay cash for a Tesla, boat, etc...I just don't need to actual make the purchase to achieve the satisfaction.

The Guru

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2016, 10:10:05 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.


As one warrant officer I knew in the military told me when he bought a sailboat: A boat owner has two happy days. The day he buys it and the day he sells it.

Put another way: a boat is defined as a dry spot in the water into which one pours money.

Indexer

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #19 on: January 01, 2016, 11:16:10 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.


As one warrant officer I knew in the military told me when he bought a sailboat: A boat owner has two happy days. The day he buys it and the day he sells it.

The quote I normally hear from boat owners:

"A boat is a hole in the water that you throw money into."

steviesterno

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #20 on: January 02, 2016, 05:59:56 AM »
I'm still trying to get over this consumerism mind set, but it's tough! I'm a competition shooter, and I've had my eye on a few higher dollar pistols for the last few years ($2-3k). Now they are fit better and shoot better than the average $700 gun (which I have a few) but i don't know if it's worth it. I just got a total surprise bonus that I wasn't expecting, and it's almost exactly what my dream pistol costs. but I keep thinking about this site and how I don't "need" it, etc. Haven't made the total decision, but leaning towards throwing it in vanguard before I can do anything with it.

how do you get over the desire to have nice things that you have had for years, when those things aren't crazy expensive and serve a purpose, for hobbies at least? The other thing that has me leaning towards it is politics in America are doing. if I don't do it now, I might never have the chance again...

gReed Smith

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2016, 08:34:26 AM »
I have changed over the last few years.  When I first got a 5 figure bonus, I would think about what I could buy.  I don't remember what it was that I bought.  Now I figure out which loans I should knock out.  This year I am killing the PMI on my mortgage, and if I can I will kill my wife's highest interest rate student loan.  Then we won't have any debt over 3.625% interest

scottish

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2016, 10:41:01 AM »
Heh.  The only thing that works on an old boat is the skipper.

Tabaxus

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2016, 11:24:09 AM »
I have changed over the last few years.  When I first got a 5 figure bonus, I would think about what I could buy.  I don't remember what it was that I bought.  Now I figure out which loans I should knock out.  This year I am killing the PMI on my mortgage, and if I can I will kill my wife's highest interest rate student loan.  Then we won't have any debt over 3.625% interest

When I had debt, it was a no brainer.  Didn't even think about it, I popped the bonus amount into my excel that told me exactly how much money  I had available to put toward my student loans after factoring in pending bills and such, and I put that toward the student loans. Wasn't a question.

I'm fully aware that investing is basically the same as paying off a loan.  It is paying off a "loan" I owe to a life of forced employment, and when that "loan" gets paid off, I'm free to live my life as I see fit.  I still use the same spreadsheet, but I've replaced the "debt paydown" text with "amount for investment."

For whatever reason, it isn't as mentally convincing as seeing the negative number attributed to student loans decline by a huge chunk all at once.  I think part of it is because the FIRE date is so uncertain and subject to so many things outside of my effective control that it's hard to use it as a focus.   "$0 on the loans" is a heck of a lot more clear.

Guses

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #24 on: January 04, 2016, 02:13:06 PM »
This year... I will kill my wife......'s highest interest rate student loan.  Then we won't have any debt over 3.625% interest

Edited for suspense.

You guys are all making me doubt my career choice. Buying a house with your bonus?! What??????

Jack

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2016, 03:03:22 PM »
You people who desire to spend money are total weirdos.

I want to acquire nice stuff, but the "handing over money in return" part sucks!

You guys are all making me doubt my career choice. Buying a house with your bonus?! What??????

I could buy a house with my bonus. It'd be an FHA mortgage (96.5% LTV) on a shack in the ghetto, but I could do it!

eljefe-speaks

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #26 on: January 05, 2016, 10:55:33 AM »
Official Humblebrag Thread.

maco

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2016, 01:16:58 PM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.
My dad owns a boat in his city. He also has a vacation home where his preferred baseball team does spring training (in retirement, which will be soon, he'll live there in the winter and early spring). He has a friend with houses in both cities as well. The friend got a boat at the vacation home and asked if he would too. His answer was "I don't need a boat down here. YOU have a boat down here!"

Jack

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2016, 01:41:34 PM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.
My dad owns a boat in his city. He also has a vacation home where his preferred baseball team does spring training (in retirement, which will be soon, he'll live there in the winter and early spring). He has a friend with houses in both cities as well. The friend got a boat at the vacation home and asked if he would too. His answer was "I don't need a boat down here. YOU have a boat down here!"

Does your dad's friend own a boat in your dad's primary-home city?

maco

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2016, 02:10:10 PM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.
My dad owns a boat in his city. He also has a vacation home where his preferred baseball team does spring training (in retirement, which will be soon, he'll live there in the winter and early spring). He has a friend with houses in both cities as well. The friend got a boat at the vacation home and asked if he would too. His answer was "I don't need a boat down here. YOU have a boat down here!"

Does your dad's friend own a boat in your dad's primary-home city?
I don't think so. I think it works out to each one having a friend with a boat in one city and being the friend with a boat in the other city.

Roboturner

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #30 on: January 05, 2016, 03:00:54 PM »
"I HAVE MONEY.  I WANT TO SPEND IT.  SPEND IT ALL."  I am nowhere close yet to the zen that most of the people around here have

I don't think there is actually a whole lot of people with that Zen, bragging on the internet that you do helps I guess? I get it, I want all the things, even though most of the stuff I want is helpful (new storage/tools etc) I still manage to nerve-wrackingly talk myself off the spending cliff because i *know* i need to invest more.

Lyssa

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #31 on: January 05, 2016, 05:19:43 PM »
how do you get over the desire to have nice things that you have had for years, when those things aren't crazy expensive and serve a purpose, for hobbies at least?

I don't. I just have strict rules when I can indulge in those desires.

Unlike MMM I have set a value of EUR to invest per month. I stick to that. I pay my other bills. Whatever is left is fair game for buying nice stuff that I absolutely do not need but would like to have. Since I hate the act of buying stuff as such and enjoy to own things for years and years (Yes, I'm that materialistic. I can almost fall in love with certain items. I went nuts when I thought I had left my favourite pen in a hotel room. Not because of the 90 EUR it cost but because it was my precious)...) I usually buy things that are going to be used for a very long time.

bobechs

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #32 on: January 06, 2016, 11:01:44 AM »
I have never actually driven a boat

Driven a boat? I don't understand...... One may *paddle* a boat. Or *row* a boat. If one is rich, one may even *sail* a boat. But never drive. xD

So all the Coastguardsmen that I spent my early adulthood among who (myself included) referred to themselves as 'boat drivers' were completely wrong?

Noted.

RetiredAt63

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #33 on: January 07, 2016, 07:27:08 AM »
I have never actually driven a boat

Driven a boat? I don't understand...... One may *paddle* a boat. Or *row* a boat. If one is rich, one may even *sail* a boat. But never drive. xD

So all the Coastguardsmen that I spent my early adulthood among who (myself included) referred to themselves as 'boat drivers' were completely wrong?

Noted.

I thought it depended on what makes the boat move.  You paddle a canoe/kayak, row a rowboat, sail a sailboat, and drive a motorboat.  No?

maco

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #34 on: January 07, 2016, 08:05:32 AM »
I have never actually driven a boat

Driven a boat? I don't understand...... One may *paddle* a boat. Or *row* a boat. If one is rich, one may even *sail* a boat. But never drive. xD

So all the Coastguardsmen that I spent my early adulthood among who (myself included) referred to themselves as 'boat drivers' were completely wrong?

Noted.

I thought it depended on what makes the boat move.  You paddle a canoe/kayak, row a rowboat, sail a sailboat, and drive a motorboat.  No?
Sounds right to me. I've paddled a kayak and driven both speed boats and pontoons.

GuitarStv

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #35 on: January 07, 2016, 08:15:09 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

Boats are like investment asset allocation. If you're unhappy about your boat ownership, it's the wrong boat, but that doesn't mean you couldn't enjoy some boat. My boat cost me (used) about 0.4% of a year's pay at the time I bought it, and I haven't had any regrets about it.

In my experience, any boat that cannot be portaged with is the wrong boat.

merula

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #36 on: January 07, 2016, 08:30:41 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

Boats are like investment asset allocation. If you're unhappy about your boat ownership, it's the wrong boat, but that doesn't mean you couldn't enjoy some boat. My boat cost me (used) about 0.4% of a year's pay at the time I bought it, and I haven't had any regrets about it.

In my experience, any boat that cannot be portaged with is the wrong boat.

Technically speaking, you could portage a speedboat. If you were camping with all the weightlifting medalists from the last three Olympics.

GuitarStv

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #37 on: January 07, 2016, 08:53:47 AM »
+ it's common wisdom that one should not own a boat, just make sure you know people who own one.

No kidding.  I know a few people with boats.  They all put on brave faces about it, but I don't think any of them are glad they made the purchase (other than partners, since they have no much money that it really just doesn't matter). 

That didn't stop me from salivating over the boat though.

Boats are like investment asset allocation. If you're unhappy about your boat ownership, it's the wrong boat, but that doesn't mean you couldn't enjoy some boat. My boat cost me (used) about 0.4% of a year's pay at the time I bought it, and I haven't had any regrets about it.

In my experience, any boat that cannot be portaged with is the wrong boat.

Technically speaking, you could portage a speedboat. If you were camping with all the weightlifting medalists from the last three Olympics.

You still might run into some tree width restrictions.  (Also, I don't want to be humping along with the food pack for that group after a day of speedboat portaging . . . )

Wilson Hall

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #38 on: January 07, 2016, 08:58:13 AM »
I totally get it, OP. Every year, I fantasize about all the things I could buy with my bonus... right up to the second before clicking "transfer" to move the cash into my investment account.

+1.  One of my first tasks this Monday morning was to transfer $4k into my Roth IRA. That gave me more happiness than anything I could have purchased for that amount.

Tabaxus

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Re: The allure of spending
« Reply #39 on: January 08, 2016, 09:01:08 AM »
Of course, given how the past few days have gone, I sure as hell wish my bonus check had not come through, and been invested, on December 30:/  Whoops!  Ah well.