Author Topic: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there  (Read 19949 times)

R5

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So there is a category about most unmustachian things any readers have done/are doing but does that really maximize our collective entertainment?  I think not.  There is another whole level of ridicule available if we could just find the right muse.  In that spirit I propose a contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product.  Format could be a tournament with brackets, seeding and wins by voting, or maybe just a dislodge the champ affair. 

Since bike is a prohibitive favorite in the most mustachian category I’m sure you are all thinking I’ll use the first draft position to take car.  Nope I have something that will kick that to the curb.  My entry might even be capable of taking down another preseason favorite- credit card financing.  In fact when I saw it, this one struck me as so absurd yet reflective of marketing genius knowledge-of-the-customer that I instantly wanted to know what could be worse. 

To kick this off I give you…

Slentrol!

http://online.zoetis.com/US/EN/Products/Pages/Slentrol/index.aspx

If you don’t want to read the link it is an animal health drug for obese dogs that prevents them from absorbing all the fat in their food so they get satiety without so many calories. It’s been on the market for a while but I just saw it recently while looking at animal health pipelines for work reasons. 

If anyone wants to make book on this affair consider Zoetis is the animal health company spun out of Pfizer.  Therefore we can assume that when this was developed there were some very well paid people who were once in a meeting discussing whether or not to bring this to market.

Just imagine the meeting…

Bio-chemist:  “We have a potential drug that will…  but it has some unpleasant side effects such as vomiting, diarrhea, lethargy, etc. so …”

Chemical engineer in charge of plant “It’s a simple molecule so scaling commercial production wouldn’t be a problem but why would we spend the money to scale this?  Can’t people just just feed their dogs less and or walk them instead?”

Marketing: “ka-CHING!! Oh and why is there anyone here form engineering?”

If not a #1 seed in any region this has to still be a final four contender.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2013, 08:57:33 AM by R5 »

simonsez

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Hard to define on a broad scale.  Everyone's utility function is different.  Personally, I think the most anti-mustachian THINGS (not product, sorry) are late/overdraft fees in general.  Any fee that stems from laziness/ignorance, really.

If I had to pick an anti-mustachian product, I'd say renting storage space would be pretty high up there.

nealashley

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Cigarettes...IMO

Zaps your biggest three resources:

1) Money -  a pack a day is anywhere from 150/month and higher depending on where you live
2) Time - a pack a day takes 1 hour 40 minutes assuming you smoke each cigarette in around 5 minutes
3) Health/Energy - we all know the story on this one


Spork

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Does it have to be a product or can it be a 13000sqft house?



Slentrol!

http://online.zoetis.com/US/EN/Products/Pages/Slentrol/index.aspx

What?  No market for canine-gastric bypass surgery followed by a tummy tuck?

footenote

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If I had to pick an anti-mustachian product, I'd say renting storage space would be pretty high up there.

+1 because storage space is a meta-anti-mustachian expense. You bought stuff you use infrequently (if ever). And now you pay monthly to rent storage space for said-useless-crap.

Arguably tobacco competes fiercely with storage space in the meta-stoopid bracket because of the money/time/health triple-threat nealashley cites.

But tobacco also provides physical pleasure from the nicotine hit, whereas storage space delivers zero pleasure. So if tobacco's pleasure negates one of its drawbacks, storage space and tobacco score would face off with two massive negatives each...

Looking forward to more nominations that can compete in Meta-Stoopid Division I!

(btw, I hate me those McMansions big-time, and can think of so many negatives. But you can live in one and you have to live *somewhere.* So maybe McMansions will end up final bracket in Division II with Slentrol....)

Nords

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I'd vote for any consumer product named "Acadia", "Sequoia", "Tahoe", or "Armada".

ghaynes

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Hallmark cards. These $5+ cards seems like the biggest waste to me. We are a no store-cards family (homemade only). It amazes me what people will spend in the year on cards with all the holidays and birthdays we have.

Spork

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Not sure if you'd call it a "product" but any light aircraft is insanely anti-mustachian unless you're running a business with it. They're bigger money sinks than cars or boats.

With a tear in the corner of my eye, I shall agree with you.  Other than a handful of free hours with friends, I have not exercised my pilot's license in about 20 years.   ...and if I "won the lotto" this would be the first ridiculous purchase I would make.

Zaga

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I'd vote for any consumer product named "Acadia", "Sequoia", "Tahoe", or "Armada".
Hey, we love our Tahoe!  Got it used for like $8K last year, and almost never commute in it.

R5

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Ok.  Thus far we have

Slentrol
Cigarettes
Rented storage space
SUV's
Houses of unusual size (HUS's)
Light aircraft
Pre-made greeting cards


That's only 7 so we should let this run a while before starting 1v1 cage matches in a bracket.  I'm confident my original entry can take down the SUV/large house/boat/plane as I had thought about that going in but I'll save the arguments until the appropriate time.  Storage space, greeting cards, and cigarettes are good sleeper challenges.  It would be good for my entry if one of the meta's eliminates them in an early round.

Also although the canine bariatric surgery idea would be a service I think the rules should allows services.  Fearing a redundant competitor diluting votes I checked and luckily I couldn't find it offered.


footenote

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2013, 12:40:01 PM »
If we're plumping out the list, let's add luxury travel:
  • First class air
  • Five star hotels
  • Five star dining
  • Valet / concierge services
(Sub-nomination for worst-of-the-worst in this category: glamping)

iamsoners

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2013, 01:07:35 PM »
I'm going nominate Keurig single cup coffee brewers. Their ubiquity and the rapidity with which the market embraced them makes up for them being slightly less absurd than Slentrol.

CALL 911

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2013, 02:05:09 PM »
http://www.ussubmarines.com/submarines/101.pdf
This has to be in the mix. Recently reduced to $480k - used! It's a bargain at twice the price!

Barbaebigode

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2013, 04:56:56 PM »
I think that if I had tons of cash, I would consider owning a sub (although I fear a semi latino guy driving a sub might get a little to much attention from the coast guard).

But getting back to the topic I think that some products that have a really specific use might be un-mustachian.


A banana holder. Not only it was specifically engineered to hold a single banana, but also only holds bananas that have a specific size/shape.


Tired of uneven slices of bread?


This one I also own, got it from a secret santa. It's a usb fridge that only takes forever to get your beverage chilled


And you can add to this list pretty much all "as seen on tv" products that were created to solve problems that you didn't even know it existed (I'm looking at you snuggie).

Undecided

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #14 on: May 22, 2013, 05:18:07 PM »
Somebody out there rents a storage space for all his USB beverage coolers, spare parts for his plane and the case of banana holders he got a good deal on.

Actually, I'm not sure why a plane is "anti-mustachian"---the fact of different utility curves was already mentioned, but I don't find it impossible to imagine someone actually enjoying a plane and consciously deciding it's worth giving up other things; I'm not so sure about the banana holder.

KulshanGirl

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #15 on: May 22, 2013, 05:51:32 PM »
Designer purses
American Girl dolls (and their $18 hairstyle appointments at the store)
Pre-chopped bags of vegetables
Laundry blobs - I don't know what they are called, but you toss the little squishy thing in the wash.  I don't get it.

Edited to add:  PODS.  I hate these, my parents use them.  *scowl* 

« Last Edit: May 22, 2013, 05:57:24 PM by KulshanGirl »

marty998

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2013, 04:16:34 AM »
Small: cigs. I can't think of anything more small and stupid than cigarettes

Medium: Segwey? Did I spell that right...you know those motorised things on wheels etc

Large: Private schools with their own rowing lakes, swimming pools, tennis courts and multiple football and cricket fields. Heaven forbid the little darlings grow up deprived of trappings of privilege.

Dee

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2013, 05:30:29 AM »
The entry for the pet weight-loss pill reminded me of neuticles, testicular implantation for pets [read: for pet-owners' egos]: http://www.neuticles.com/

Incidentally, I have a banana holder which I got from the dollar store. Given its cost, I don't think it's a particularly egregious example of anti-mustachianism.

GuitarStv

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2013, 07:23:09 AM »
I'd like to list something that I actually want . . .


A cycling computer.


This item doesn't get you to your destination faster, doesn't strengthen your legs any better, is yet another thing that can be stolen from your bike, is potentially a distraction while you're cycling  . . .  and yet I really really want to know how fast and far I've been cycling each trip.  :P

MrsPete

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #19 on: May 23, 2013, 07:47:15 AM »
I second the vote for cigarettes.  Not only do they take your money, but they turn other people against you, sap your health, increase your doctor visits /missed time from work, and shorten your life.  And they give you . . . nothing.  I don't see how anything could possibly be more stupid.

Other suggestions: 

- Leather jackets for toddlers
- Air conditioned dog houses
- Bottled water

By the way, I suspect those laundry pods may be the only thing offered in the future.  Not too long ago -- perhaps two years ago -- they took up only a small section of the laundry detergent aisle.  Now what we think of as "traditional" laundry soap fills only a small portion of the shelves, and these over-priced pods hog most of the shelves.  While we're talking about them as a money-waster, don't neglect their first cousins:  Dishwasher pods, Clorox wipes (which contain no Clorox), disposable dusting cloths, and disposable Swiffer Sweeper pads.  And who in the world BUYS cleaning rags?  Do people have no old, ratty tee-shirts?  In the last two decades we've developed a whole industry of overpriced, non-environmentally friendly cleaning products.  I can't believe they sell. 

Finally, in a disclaimer, I'll add that my college daughter does use these pods.  She received a big box of them (along with a hamper and a bag full of quarters) as a graduation gift.  Because she has to carry her dirty clothes downstairs to a public laundry room, she likes the simplicity of carrying just 1-2 pods.  However, the majority of us do laundry in our own homes and have no need for this kind of convenience. 



SMMcP

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2013, 07:56:25 AM »
I'd like to list something that I actually want . . .


A cycling computer.


This item doesn't get you to your destination faster, doesn't strengthen your legs any better, is yet another thing that can be stolen from your bike, is potentially a distraction while you're cycling  . . .  and yet I really really want to know how fast and far I've been cycling each trip.  :P

I think gadgets like this can be worthwhile.  Last year I bought a little GPS tracking device that you wear on your wrist to let me track how far and fast I walk.  It has really helped with motivation and goal setting.

R5

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2013, 03:24:17 PM »
I was just trying to get entries going with the idea of leaving the arguments about what might be the winner for later but neuticles has to be the new odds on favorite. 

I literally thought it was some sort of joke website and that Dee must be a developer with time to kill end march.  Alas not and this appears to be legit entry...


The entry for the pet weight-loss pill reminded me of neuticles, testicular implantation for pets [read: for pet-owners' egos]: http://www.neuticles.com/



Spork

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2013, 03:37:52 PM »
I was just trying to get entries going with the idea of leaving the arguments about what might be the winner for later but neuticles has to be the new odds on favorite. 

I literally thought it was some sort of joke website and that Dee must be a developer with time to kill end march.  Alas not and this appears to be legit entry...


The entry for the pet weight-loss pill reminded me of neuticles, testicular implantation for pets [read: for pet-owners' egos]: http://www.neuticles.com/

threadjack side anecdote:  a relative works at a vets office.  They had a patient that bought the "low end generic neuticles" for their dog.  When the dog sits, it makes a clacking noise.  No, seriously, I'm not kidding.  They started calling him "Clackers" around the office.

Paul der Krake

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #23 on: May 23, 2013, 07:01:02 PM »
The entire wedding registry business.

Frugal_in_DC

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2013, 07:16:33 PM »
Off the top of my head I would have to say McMansions.  To me they seem like a black hole for mortgage interest, utilities, and maintenance time/costs.  I would also feel uncomfortable living in a house with rooms the size of racquetball courts.

In the silliness category, I'd say anything in the Needless Markup, I mean Neiman Marcus, Christmas catalog - http://www.neimanmarcus.com/christmasbook/index.jsp .  Check out the "Versailles-inspired" $100K chicken coop on page 64 that features "of course, an elegant chandelier."  Also, cat strollers.

stinkindog

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #25 on: May 24, 2013, 09:48:53 PM »
It  is not always as simple as what you imply. I had a dog  on slentrol once. She had thyroid problems that caused her to gain weight and I tried lots of things to get her to lose it. We walked every day and  she got fed exactly what the other dogs ate but the weight stayed on.   Slentrol worked a little but I think it did her more harm than good. She died about 6 months after taking slentrol and I have always thought, though I cannot prove, it contributed to her death.
Many of the required vaccinations and monthly treatments are not necessary. Titer testing will tell if an animal needs a booster. and heart worm medicine monthly is a complete marketing job.

As far as I can tell, the only redeeming thing about mcmansions are the number of people that are employed in the construction of them. I personally  find them appalling but my brother is a builder so one of those would keep him in work for a year or more.

Spork

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #26 on: May 25, 2013, 07:11:20 AM »
Titer testing will tell if an animal needs a booster. and heart worm medicine monthly is a complete marketing job.
Titer testing was explained to me by one of my previous vets as: "it works, but it costs more than the vaccine".

I don't know where you live, but in the south heart worm medications save thousands of dogs a year.  NOT giving it is a pretty sure bet that your dog will get heartworms.

stinkindog

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #27 on: May 25, 2013, 08:30:45 AM »
heartworm    http://www.acreaturecomfort.com/heartworminfo.htm 


the cost of over vaccinating isn't only computed by the dollar amount. the titer testing is not harmful to the dog. too many vaccinations and combo vaccinations can be.

Spork

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #28 on: May 25, 2013, 09:42:31 AM »
heartworm    http://www.acreaturecomfort.com/heartworminfo.htm 


the cost of over vaccinating isn't only computed by the dollar amount. the titer testing is not harmful to the dog. too many vaccinations and combo vaccinations can be.

My non-scientific, anecdotal experience:  every single person in my region that has not given their dogs heartworm medication has either ended up having to do the treatments or has lost their dog to heartworms.  The treatment is awful.  The treatment for heatworms is low arsenic dosages.  YMMV.

The link you provided pretty much says give them the meds in warm areas -- but you can give them less frequently -- and that they are 100% effective.  I'd hardly call that "completely marketing."  (Yes, there are always down sides to any medications.)

tomatoprincess

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #29 on: May 25, 2013, 02:58:22 PM »
In my opinion, slentrol is not any more silly than the pills/supplements out there designed to help humans lose weight. People can't be bothered to put in the effort or learn the knowledge to deal with their weight so they buy a miracle pill =P

I think mine tops the list: Imaginary Art
http://www.tribute.ca/news/index.php/james-franco-wants-to-sell-you-imaginary-art/2011/06/22/#.UaElZrW1z1Y

Theadyn

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #30 on: May 25, 2013, 04:50:33 PM »
An ad on our radio selling their product:  title loans on your paid for car.  Not only are they touting the 'great offer', they go on later in their ad that one such idiot went on to get a loan against the title of his paid for vehicle and then hit it big...  at the freakin casino!!!!   

There you go buddy, that was smart...  trade the title of your car on the slim to none chance you might get something from pouring your money into a casino...    *scratches head*

rymanani

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #31 on: May 26, 2013, 07:21:33 AM »
Brand name medication.

For example, Nurofen Ibuprofen = any ibuprofen, yet the price differential is 200% more!! (£1 for 16 200mg tablets of Nurofen, whilst no brand name is £0.32).

Another example is cold medication.... Brand name Night & Day cold medication is £4.69:

http://www.boots.com/en/Lemsip-Max-All-in-One-Cold-Flu-Capsules-16-capsules_1219439/

Store home brand £3.39:

http://www.boots.com/en/Boots-Pharmaceuticals-Flu-Max-All-in-One-Tablets-16-Tablets-_1143302/


I checked the ingredients in store... they were exactly the same!!

My partner has the habit of going for the more expensive one - because its more effective, and she wants to get better..... drives me nuts!

ketchup

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #32 on: May 26, 2013, 08:41:34 AM »
Brand name medication.

For example, Nurofen Ibuprofen = any ibuprofen, yet the price differential is 200% more!! (£1 for 16 200mg tablets of Nurofen, whilst no brand name is £0.32).

Another example is cold medication.... Brand name Night & Day cold medication is £4.69:

http://www.boots.com/en/Lemsip-Max-All-in-One-Cold-Flu-Capsules-16-capsules_1219439/

Store home brand £3.39:

http://www.boots.com/en/Boots-Pharmaceuticals-Flu-Max-All-in-One-Tablets-16-Tablets-_1143302/


I checked the ingredients in store... they were exactly the same!!

My partner has the habit of going for the more expensive one - because its more effective, and she wants to get better..... drives me nuts!
As someone that works in an industry pretty closely tied to the pharmaceutical industry, there are differences.  They might not always matter, but there are differences.  The manufacturing processes can vary, which can very much affect the results of the drug.  Just comparing the ingredients lists is not the whole story.  If that's all that mattered, the lab I work at wouldn't exist.

chucklesmcgee

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #33 on: May 27, 2013, 05:01:10 PM »
As someone that works in an industry pretty closely tied to the pharmaceutical industry, there are differences.  They might not always matter, but there are differences.  The manufacturing processes can vary, which can very much affect the results of the drug.  Just comparing the ingredients lists is not the whole story.  If that's all that mattered, the lab I work at wouldn't exist.
[/quote]

99.99% of the time a generic drug is exactly the same in terms of biological effect as the identical name-brand. To be approved as a generic drug, manufacturers have to submit data showing that their active ingredient is absorbed just like the name-brand. There are at best a handful of the tens of thousands of drugs where the identical generic isn't the same because of binding agents being used or something along those lines.

So yeah there are differences but they would rarely if ever differ to the extent that someone would have a better outcome taking the brand-name.

MrsPete

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #34 on: May 28, 2013, 07:57:43 PM »
For what it's worth, I live in the South and have a 15-year old dog who's never been on heartworm prevention.  She has some medical problems these days, but NONE of them have to do with her heart or parasites of any type. 

texscrooge

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #35 on: June 01, 2013, 04:49:48 PM »
I'm going nominate Keurig single cup coffee brewers. Their ubiquity and the rapidity with which the market embraced them makes up for them being slightly less absurd than Slentrol.

you have my vote.

SnackDog

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #36 on: June 01, 2013, 05:13:39 PM »
Private planes, especially jets, and large power yachts.  Oh, and private space travel!

thefrugaltwo

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Re: contest of some sort for the most anti-mustachian product out there
« Reply #37 on: June 06, 2013, 10:28:32 AM »
Oh I've got one: Timberland boots, Tevas, and Nike Sneakers for BABIES.

I do not mean toddlers.

I do not mean children.

I mean, poop in a diaper, no motor skills, can't walk yet, BABIES.

I worked in a high end children's shoe store for years, people would regularly spend between $40-$90 on multiple pairs of shoes for babies who were so small that they couldn't walk yet. Including snow boots, you know, in case their four month old was out in the arctic tundra hiking. Then they would come in again in two months, because, duh, babies grow. And they'd do it all over again.