We live in a high COL area, where we are competing with almost entirely two-income families and lobbyists (DC). Owning a home, while living a simple life with a parent at home to raise kids, while one works at a 9-5 to pay the bills, seems laughably unattainable.
You'd be hard pressed to find a place LESS representative of America than Washington, DC.
It's an area represented by high income (beltway bandits, government fat cats), high costs, arrogant, self-important people, unfriendly people (they make New Yorkers look kind and warm hearted by comparison), no sense of community. No one is actually from DC- they come from real parts of America, and are all just their to grab what they can for as long as they can stand living there. If a person stays too long, he will become one of "them"- the vaguely humanoid, but not quite human, creatures that inhabit DC.
Just a wretched place. I lived there for what seemed like 20 years, though it was actually only 3.
Grab your husband and children, toss them into the car, and GET OUT, before you become one of them...
Just drive 200 miles in any direction and you will be better off.
Bahahahahha. Soooo freaking true. I hate it here. (On the days I'm not actively trying to improve my attitude) I contemplate doing exactly that. I want to go and live in a cabin in the woods far, far away for anyone who even knows what the "beltway" is.
You need to get out before it's too late.
If your husband is there because he was forced to go there by the military or some other government agency, have him work the system to GET OUT.
There are a lot of crappy places to live in the USA, but I can't think of anyplace less desirable than DC. If I was given a choice between DC and Detroit (a Hell-hole in it's own right), I'd take Detroit in a heart beat.
I actually prefer DC to several other places I have lived. Great museums (many free), terrific theater scene, lots of restaurants, decent public transit, lots of international folks. I am also a member of a wonderful congregation, which brings me into contact with lots of thoughtful and good people. My life is arranged so the traffic doesn't really affect me, and i love my neighborhood. Overall, I would be happy to stay here, though it might make sense to cash out and move someplace cheaper at some point. For someone who likes urban amenities, though, DC can be attractive.
"Great museums (many free),"
Every city has museums. DC more than most. So hit them up on a vacation, you don't have to live there.
"terrific theater scene, lots of restaurants, decent public transit,"
Same can be said of almost any decent sized city. Most of which are far cheaper and nicer than DC.
"lots of international folks. "
You want international? Try, for example, San Antonio, far more "diverse" than DC, at a fraction of the cost, a much lower violent crime rate, and with a vibrant economy not built on government.
"I am also a member of a wonderful congregation, which brings me into contact with lots of thoughtful and good people. "
You can't swing a dead cat in the USA without hitting a church. Unless you are into some very bizarre religious sect/cult only available in DC (The Church of our Holy Father, the grand exalted poo bah Marion Berry?), they probably have a church (or multiple churches) in every decent sized city in the USA that will serve the same purpose.
"My life is arranged so the traffic doesn't really affect me, and i love my neighborhood. Overall, I would be happy to stay here, though it might make sense to cash out and move someplace cheaper at some point. For someone who likes urban amenities, though, DC can be attractive."
Just sayin' that every "good" thing DC has, is available in dozens of other cities, usually at a much lower cost. Without all the bad stuff that DC comes with. I honestly can't think of anything that DC offers that can't be found elsewhere at a much lower cost- unless you just can't live without murder/violent crime and corruption. Explore your options, don't feel like you need to be stuck in DC.
Take my word for it, there is life outside the beltway.