Author Topic: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)  (Read 303053 times)

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #850 on: August 04, 2020, 08:44:21 AM »
We have really good neighbours all around and talk to them quite a lot "over the fence". However, we don't share _really_ personal info. More of "how are your veggies going - do you want to swap seeds? ",  "your kid is a couple of years older, what is your opinion on local kids soccer team?" so sort of personal, but not sensitive.

I did not have anything to contribute to this thread for a long time, as people around here do their work in the garden or on the house, and we even help each other if we can, before calling in carpenters, plumbers etc. No McMansions.

However...
Closest neighbour, was single, have now met a guy (they are both 40-45 yrs), who seems very nice, friendly etc. No complaints from us.
But he does talk... So yesterday he let us know that:
* he won appr $30 000 gambling a couple of days ago
* which was good as he is heavily in debt and is forced to have money taken out of his wages to repay (garnishment) so now he can repay some of that

But a couple of weeks ago, he told us of this cruiser trip they are taking - as they deserve it!

I just feel
a) this seems so very unmustachian
b) not sure I want to know this at all, and I am sure more info will follow on topics I don't want to discuss w/neighbours. But then maybe I have more to contribute here :-)
for your neighbor's sake, I hope she's better at converting him to her more conservative lifestyle rather than he converts her.....or worse, gets her to pay off his debt, racks up more and moves on.

A sadly common fate for many single Mustachians: marry a spendypants, sacrifice the 'stache or at least several years' worth of savings to pay off his or her debt, and end up on the hook for even more debt when the spendypants runs up the credit cards again. By the time the financial abuse is serious enough to merit divorce, the Mustachian is set back several years while the spendypants exits with a pile of toys, gadgets, and geegaws but only half the debt that was run up to obtain it.

LinneaH

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #851 on: August 04, 2020, 10:44:20 AM »
We have really good neighbours all around and talk to them quite a lot "over the fence". However, we don't share _really_ personal info. More of "how are your veggies going - do you want to swap seeds? ",  "your kid is a couple of years older, what is your opinion on local kids soccer team?" so sort of personal, but not sensitive.

I did not have anything to contribute to this thread for a long time, as people around here do their work in the garden or on the house, and we even help each other if we can, before calling in carpenters, plumbers etc. No McMansions.

However...
Closest neighbour, was single, have now met a guy (they are both 40-45 yrs), who seems very nice, friendly etc. No complaints from us.
But he does talk... So yesterday he let us know that:
* he won appr $30 000 gambling a couple of days ago
* which was good as he is heavily in debt and is forced to have money taken out of his wages to repay (garnishment) so now he can repay some of that

But a couple of weeks ago, he told us of this cruiser trip they are taking - as they deserve it!

I just feel
a) this seems so very unmustachian
b) not sure I want to know this at all, and I am sure more info will follow on topics I don't want to discuss w/neighbours. But then maybe I have more to contribute here :-)
for your neighbor's sake, I hope she's better at converting him to her more conservative lifestyle rather than he converts her.....or worse, gets her to pay off his debt, racks up more and moves on.

A sadly common fate for many single Mustachians: marry a spendypants, sacrifice the 'stache or at least several years' worth of savings to pay off his or her debt, and end up on the hook for even more debt when the spendypants runs up the credit cards again. By the time the financial abuse is serious enough to merit divorce, the Mustachian is set back several years while the spendypants exits with a pile of toys, gadgets, and geegaws but only half the debt that was run up to obtain it.

As I am in the middle of a divorce, splitting the home, moving into a "lovely and a lot cheaper than I can afford" apartment, with a ridiculously high salary for what I do at work and low costs in general, I will take these words to heart. I think I can be logical, but it is always good to be fully aware.

I believe this may also be relevant for hoarder vs minimalist (or maybe it's just me right now :-) ). I am nowhere near looking for someone new in my life but if/when I do, I have some pretty strict criteria.

bluebelle

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #852 on: August 04, 2020, 11:04:20 AM »
We have really good neighbours all around and talk to them quite a lot "over the fence". However, we don't share _really_ personal info. More of "how are your veggies going - do you want to swap seeds? ",  "your kid is a couple of years older, what is your opinion on local kids soccer team?" so sort of personal, but not sensitive.

I did not have anything to contribute to this thread for a long time, as people around here do their work in the garden or on the house, and we even help each other if we can, before calling in carpenters, plumbers etc. No McMansions.

However...
Closest neighbour, was single, have now met a guy (they are both 40-45 yrs), who seems very nice, friendly etc. No complaints from us.
But he does talk... So yesterday he let us know that:
* he won appr $30 000 gambling a couple of days ago
* which was good as he is heavily in debt and is forced to have money taken out of his wages to repay (garnishment) so now he can repay some of that

But a couple of weeks ago, he told us of this cruiser trip they are taking - as they deserve it!

I just feel
a) this seems so very unmustachian
b) not sure I want to know this at all, and I am sure more info will follow on topics I don't want to discuss w/neighbours. But then maybe I have more to contribute here :-)
for your neighbor's sake, I hope she's better at converting him to her more conservative lifestyle rather than he converts her.....or worse, gets her to pay off his debt, racks up more and moves on.

A sadly common fate for many single Mustachians: marry a spendypants, sacrifice the 'stache or at least several years' worth of savings to pay off his or her debt, and end up on the hook for even more debt when the spendypants runs up the credit cards again. By the time the financial abuse is serious enough to merit divorce, the Mustachian is set back several years while the spendypants exits with a pile of toys, gadgets, and geegaws but only half the debt that was run up to obtain it.
I was 'lucky' (more likely determined), my spendypants YOLO DH 'let' me manage our money 20+ years ago, once we officially lived together and bought a house (in his defense, he matched my down payment) and he had a relatively small CC balance.   He had no retirement savings and spent his paycheck.....he kicked a bit when I started him on monthly RRSP contributions, but sure sees the benefit as we slide in to a somewhat FAT FIRE.   His 'problem' is he didn't pay attention, didn't add up what he spent.   Because he didn't really pay attention, as we got raises and paid off the house, I quietly upped our savings.   Once it was big enough for him to see earlish retirement, he was on board big time.

ixtap

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #853 on: August 04, 2020, 12:00:43 PM »
We have really good neighbours all around and talk to them quite a lot "over the fence". However, we don't share _really_ personal info. More of "how are your veggies going - do you want to swap seeds? ",  "your kid is a couple of years older, what is your opinion on local kids soccer team?" so sort of personal, but not sensitive.

I did not have anything to contribute to this thread for a long time, as people around here do their work in the garden or on the house, and we even help each other if we can, before calling in carpenters, plumbers etc. No McMansions.

However...
Closest neighbour, was single, have now met a guy (they are both 40-45 yrs), who seems very nice, friendly etc. No complaints from us.
But he does talk... So yesterday he let us know that:
* he won appr $30 000 gambling a couple of days ago
* which was good as he is heavily in debt and is forced to have money taken out of his wages to repay (garnishment) so now he can repay some of that

But a couple of weeks ago, he told us of this cruiser trip they are taking - as they deserve it!

I just feel
a) this seems so very unmustachian
b) not sure I want to know this at all, and I am sure more info will follow on topics I don't want to discuss w/neighbours. But then maybe I have more to contribute here :-)
for your neighbor's sake, I hope she's better at converting him to her more conservative lifestyle rather than he converts her.....or worse, gets her to pay off his debt, racks up more and moves on.

A sadly common fate for many single Mustachians: marry a spendypants, sacrifice the 'stache or at least several years' worth of savings to pay off his or her debt, and end up on the hook for even more debt when the spendypants runs up the credit cards again. By the time the financial abuse is serious enough to merit divorce, the Mustachian is set back several years while the spendypants exits with a pile of toys, gadgets, and geegaws but only half the debt that was run up to obtain it.
I was 'lucky' (more likely determined), my spendypants YOLO DH 'let' me manage our money 20+ years ago, once we officially lived together and bought a house (in his defense, he matched my down payment) and he had a relatively small CC balance.   He had no retirement savings and spent his paycheck.....he kicked a bit when I started him on monthly RRSP contributions, but sure sees the benefit as we slide in to a somewhat FAT FIRE.   His 'problem' is he didn't pay attention, didn't add up what he spent.   Because he didn't really pay attention, as we got raises and paid off the house, I quietly upped our savings.   Once it was big enough for him to see earlish retirement, he was on board big time.

My now DH took one look at my lifestyle and joined me, leaving his McMansion behind. In his defense, he was 21 when he used the money his parents gave him for a down payment on a theater room that happened to come with a rather large house surrounding it. My condo was smaller than the master suite. I got lost trying to find the WC in the dark and almost peed in the walk in closet instead. His dad isn't overjoyed that he learned that he doesn't have to live in a big house, he doesn't have to marry a nice young girl and have kids, he doesn't have to vote Republican... But he is impressed that we know that the real limit for the 401k is $57k, not $19k, and that we understand the pros and cons of the Trinity study. I don't think anyone else will talk to him about those things and it beats being told everything that is wrong with libtards.

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #854 on: August 04, 2020, 05:11:12 PM »
My neighbours pulled down a standalone double garage with a pitched roof. Guess what they're building in the exact same place? That's right, a standalone double garage with a pitched roof.

SwordGuy

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #855 on: August 04, 2020, 08:10:50 PM »
for your neighbor's sake, I hope she's better at converting him to her more conservative lifestyle rather than he converts her.....or worse, gets her to pay off his debt, racks up more and moves on.

To be honest, I have been thinking about this. They both seem very much in love, and she is not really rich or anything,so he is not taking her for money. But still, I am slightly worried. Having a hard time to see what I can do though, especially as I am moving away in about two months.

Ooh how I will miss this lovely neighbourhood and neighbours...

You don't have to be rich to be taken for all you've got by a grifter...

eyesonthehorizon

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #856 on: August 04, 2020, 08:36:42 PM »
for your neighbor's sake, I hope she's better at converting him to her more conservative lifestyle rather than he converts her.....or worse, gets her to pay off his debt, racks up more and moves on.

To be honest, I have been thinking about this. They both seem very much in love, and she is not really rich or anything,so he is not taking her for money. But still, I am slightly worried. Having a hard time to see what I can do though, especially as I am moving away in about two months.

Ooh how I will miss this lovely neighbourhood and neighbours...

You don't have to be rich to be taken for all you've got by a grifter...
I sincerely hope this is irrelevant, but I've watched it happen to friends. Sometimes I think it's more likely to happen to less well-off people for a few reasons:
- they are possibly running in the same social circles as users when they need a new source
- they don't see themselves as wealthy enough to be a potential target and be on guard about it
- the "spend it while you've got it" mentality is more common
- the above combined with (historical) lesser mobility often meant spending it in the form of economic investment into social capital, in the expectation that what goes around comes around

The latter trend always interested me. When everyone around you has precious little opportunity to wear out their welcome, up, and leave, there's a higher chance of accountability later on to the same people than in upwardly(-and-geographically) mobile socioeconomic groups: which means that for the middle class and up, there's often less incentive to build direct interpersonal giving habits as a society.

Sibley

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #857 on: August 06, 2020, 09:11:14 PM »
My neighbours pulled down a standalone double garage with a pitched roof. Guess what they're building in the exact same place? That's right, a standalone double garage with a pitched roof.

If I ever feel like spending the money, I will pull down a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof and replace with a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof.

Except the slab won't be in 6(?) pieces, the sill plate won't be half rotted/bug eaten away, the wood siding won't be split and some pieces slightly rotted (missed a few when I did the big repair) and the whole garage won't be underground because it was built before the backyard was regraded several inches higher. But it looks great from the outside!

IE - it's possible that the garage really does need significant work that makes it better to just replace than fix. Or they could be wasting a bunch of money.

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #858 on: August 06, 2020, 11:11:11 PM »
My neighbours pulled down a standalone double garage with a pitched roof. Guess what they're building in the exact same place? That's right, a standalone double garage with a pitched roof.

If I ever feel like spending the money, I will pull down a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof and replace with a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof.

Except the slab won't be in 6(?) pieces, the sill plate won't be half rotted/bug eaten away, the wood siding won't be split and some pieces slightly rotted (missed a few when I did the big repair) and the whole garage won't be underground because it was built before the backyard was regraded several inches higher. But it looks great from the outside!

IE - it's possible that the garage really does need significant work that makes it better to just replace than fix. Or they could be wasting a bunch of money.

When they started construction I asked what they were building and they said they had wanted a bigger garage in a slightly different position. They pointed out a place on my fence where the new garage was anticipated to come to. Makes no difference to me, I was just curious. But new garage is the same size and in the same place. I suspect they didn't get consent. Kind of stupid to pull down a garage before you get the new one consented.

They also retiled a relatively newly white tiled bathroom with white tiles. The new tiles are just as square as the old ones, just slightly smaller......

I fully anticipate them wanting to pull down the old wood fence at some point to replace it with the same frickin wood fence. That will be the point at which I comment to them on this stuff.

Sibley

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #859 on: August 07, 2020, 11:36:33 AM »
My neighbours pulled down a standalone double garage with a pitched roof. Guess what they're building in the exact same place? That's right, a standalone double garage with a pitched roof.

If I ever feel like spending the money, I will pull down a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof and replace with a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof.

Except the slab won't be in 6(?) pieces, the sill plate won't be half rotted/bug eaten away, the wood siding won't be split and some pieces slightly rotted (missed a few when I did the big repair) and the whole garage won't be underground because it was built before the backyard was regraded several inches higher. But it looks great from the outside!

IE - it's possible that the garage really does need significant work that makes it better to just replace than fix. Or they could be wasting a bunch of money.

When they started construction I asked what they were building and they said they had wanted a bigger garage in a slightly different position. They pointed out a place on my fence where the new garage was anticipated to come to. Makes no difference to me, I was just curious. But new garage is the same size and in the same place. I suspect they didn't get consent. Kind of stupid to pull down a garage before you get the new one consented.

They also retiled a relatively newly white tiled bathroom with white tiles. The new tiles are just as square as the old ones, just slightly smaller......

I fully anticipate them wanting to pull down the old wood fence at some point to replace it with the same frickin wood fence. That will be the point at which I comment to them on this stuff.

Ok, yeah, they're idiots. At least I have a good reason for tearing mine down. Assuming it doesn't fall down at some point.

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #860 on: August 07, 2020, 06:43:13 PM »
My neighbours pulled down a standalone double garage with a pitched roof. Guess what they're building in the exact same place? That's right, a standalone double garage with a pitched roof.

If I ever feel like spending the money, I will pull down a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof and replace with a standalone 1.5 car garage with a pitched roof.

Except the slab won't be in 6(?) pieces, the sill plate won't be half rotted/bug eaten away, the wood siding won't be split and some pieces slightly rotted (missed a few when I did the big repair) and the whole garage won't be underground because it was built before the backyard was regraded several inches higher. But it looks great from the outside!

IE - it's possible that the garage really does need significant work that makes it better to just replace than fix. Or they could be wasting a bunch of money.

When they started construction I asked what they were building and they said they had wanted a bigger garage in a slightly different position. They pointed out a place on my fence where the new garage was anticipated to come to. Makes no difference to me, I was just curious. But new garage is the same size and in the same place. I suspect they didn't get consent. Kind of stupid to pull down a garage before you get the new one consented.

They also retiled a relatively newly white tiled bathroom with white tiles. The new tiles are just as square as the old ones, just slightly smaller......

I fully anticipate them wanting to pull down the old wood fence at some point to replace it with the same frickin wood fence. That will be the point at which I comment to them on this stuff.

Ok, yeah, they're idiots. At least I have a good reason for tearing mine down. Assuming it doesn't fall down at some point.

It's entirely possible there's something I don't know that makes them non-idiots, but I'm gonna go with idiots for the foreseeable.

I'm not a builder but it kind of seems to me that they're building this garage in quite an odd way. The framing is all up, now the outside cladding is on and they appear to be putting inside cladding on.... but there's no roof yet???

markbike528CBX

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #861 on: August 07, 2020, 07:17:13 PM »
Haha, that's why in Hawaii, you never wear your best slippahs to a party!
Haha, yeah! Many a times people go home with a different pair of rubbah slippahs than the ones they came with.
Yeah, "Party Slippahs" means a whole other thing in Hawaii ;-)
Does it relate to a quote from my mother-in-law  "I'm fine, my flip flops were drunk"   ?

SavinMaven

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #862 on: August 21, 2020, 06:39:43 PM »
Quote
But he is impressed that we know that the real limit for the 401k is $57k, not $19k,

Please tell me more!

Kierun

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #863 on: August 26, 2020, 07:09:28 PM »
Haha, that's why in Hawaii, you never wear your best slippahs to a party!
Haha, yeah! Many a times people go home with a different pair of rubbah slippahs than the ones they came with.
Yeah, "Party Slippahs" means a whole other thing in Hawaii ;-)
Does it relate to a quote from my mother-in-law  "I'm fine, my flip flops were drunk"   ?
I've not heard that one before

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #864 on: September 17, 2020, 10:21:58 AM »
My neighbor wants a tree that sits at our property line fully pruned and wants me to pay for half.  I am not interested in that and let her know that she can certainly remove whatever branches overhang her side if she is concerned.  She is not pleased and now I am on the outs with her.

Over the last 3 years I have been exceedingly compliant and jumped through a few hoops she has held up--- for example I foolishly had a whole tree removed from my lot for over $2200 because she was "worried about it."  This time I refused (politely) and therefore I am a problem.  She is quite used to being in charge and any friction from me spells the end of cordial relations. 

My troll neighbor is quite sure what is good for my property.  She is quite sure she will arrange to have my tree pruned and that I will pay for it.  She is quite disgusted with my refusal to do what she is quite sure is best for me.  Alas, so many of the little people will simply not do what is necessary for their own good.  She must be exhausted from being in charge of so many, many things. 

I understand that for the cost of a tree prune the relationship is damaged, but in fact it is SHE who damaged it.  My new golden rule is that if I would never do it to someone, I don't have to take it from anyone, and I never would have dreamed of forcing my will on them as they have so often pushed me to do something for their benefit.  Good riddance. 

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #865 on: September 17, 2020, 10:43:36 AM »
My troll neighbor is quite sure what is good for my property.  She is quite sure she will arrange to have my tree pruned and that I will pay for it.  She is quite disgusted with my refusal to do what she is quite sure is best for me.  Alas, so many of the little people will simply not do what is necessary for their own good.  She must be exhausted from being in charge of so many, many things. 
In what ways does your neighbor express their displeasure with your lack of compliance?

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #866 on: September 17, 2020, 10:44:15 AM »
@MissNancyPryor
What is the reason for pruning?  Blocking all the sun from her yard?  Access is blocked?

Is the tree truly on the property line or is it actually yours?  Usually trees are planted just to one side.

The best thing that works is to just say "I actually prefer the tree natural."   It is so hard to get a neighbor to prune (or pay for it) when they say that.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #867 on: September 17, 2020, 11:44:03 AM »
The tree is a large pine, 80+ feet tall, and the lowest branches are 30 feet up and well above interference with anything, well away from the house and garage.  If a branch fell it might hit the electrical drop from the alley to her house but it would have to be a lucky shot.  The trunk is on my side so it is my tree. 

There are more branches on that side vs. mine and if she removed several it would not be noticeable to the overall balance of the tree and it is so tall you really can't see the whole tree unless you are blocks away.  There are 30 others just like it within the city block that no one is paying to prune, they are all natural.  It has no gall and no insect-caused disease.  Per the arborist who took down the other tree last year it is healthy.  The reasons she noted were her concerns for her property couched in terms of "what is best for everyone" even though every reason was her own (wants to sweep fewer needles, that one branch on her side looks dead, it leans 3 degrees toward her property, etc).   

There is a bit more to the story.  During the first exchange about the tree I cheerfully mentioned that my adult daughter was moving back to this town from the big city after getting a new job, and that we were seeing many people leaving that big city now for political concerns and to reduce their cost of living.  The neighbor said, "We can't have that, there is not enough housing to support that!"  So that was really what got to me.  Not only is she declaring what shall be done on my property with my money, but thinks she has a right to say who can move to her town.  I left that exchange and stewed about it for 2 days and decided I have had enough from her and I put up the boundary and told her no on the tree.  She was curt and had a very snarky "you are not doing what is good for you" attitude.  Despite my being an exceedingly nice neighbor and very courteous, she turned on the bitch mode with this friction from me. 

I have been a good and reasonable neighbor.  Incredibly, she tied my blackberry bush to her side of the fence so she could get the berries this year (she admitted that) and I said nothing.  One of my sprinkler heads was turned toward her lot so it would water there, I quietly turned it back and didn't make a stink even though that had to be deliberate.  She remarked that my fire pit caused some smoke to drift into their bedroom last year; I didn't burn it this at all this year to be kind.  She was worried about some bushes on the lot line and I cut them far back the next day.  She likes to remark that she chose several of the plantings in my yard for the prior owners and keeps track of them.  I lost a dogwood in my front yard to an ice storm last year and she likes to comment about what WE should put in to replace it.  Pretty nutty, very presumptuous.     

And yet the first time I said no about something, she mounts her high horse.  I realize I have let her run the show far too much in a misguided attempt to be neighborly and she is taking the proverbial mile.  Perhaps she didn't mean to say my daughter shouldn't be allowed to move back to her hometown, but that was really the last straw.   

Best to just let her be mad than to continually allow her to believe she is in charge of all she surveys.  Band aid ripped off.                       
« Last Edit: September 17, 2020, 11:45:48 AM by MissNancyPryor »

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #868 on: September 17, 2020, 01:49:23 PM »
Wow,  Just wow.  "What should we plant next?" is so far over the top.

Most of the other stuff happens with neighbors from time to time so I get why you didn't make a fuss before.  But my neighbor asked me first about the water / sprinkler before we adjusted it.

I am not sure why her response to more people moving back was alarm and not for the increased house price, but whatever.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2020, 09:41:25 PM by Goldielocks »

SunnyDays

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #869 on: September 17, 2020, 04:32:21 PM »
What does she mean by ďfully pruned?Ē  Pines are not generally in need of pruning except to manage dead branches and allow headroom underneath.  Does she want a shaped tree?  Sounds too big for that.  If youíre allowing her to do whatever she wants with the branches on her side, youíre being totally reasonable to not succumb to pressure to do more.  Sounds like she doesnít have enough to do.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #870 on: September 17, 2020, 05:47:47 PM »
Dry rot is attacking my neighborhood. I've caught mine early and am defeating it through a combined application of caulk, primer, paint, and roofing sealant. None of it has gotten inside so far because it's been entirely confined to a few square inches of exterior trim. But some of my neighbors have obviously left their eaves, soffits, and other wood trim go for far too long. When it gets to the point where the trim on your eaves is eaten away or twisted up, that fungus has spread into whatever wood that piece is attached to. If it's your attic with all of the roof framing and the roof itself, you're basically screwed as badly as you would be if a tornado lifted off the roof of your house.

The houses that are the worst are invariably the ones that have multiple vehicles, new SUVs, and such out in front. It's sad because the neighborhood overall is pretty nice: brick, pitched roofs, and easy-to-maintain properties that have appreciated well and that aren't too oversized.

I've warned a couple neighbors who still have time to save their homes.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #871 on: September 17, 2020, 05:56:39 PM »
The tree is a large pine, 80+ feet tall, and the lowest branches are 30 feet up and well above interference with anything, well away from the house and garage.  If a branch fell it might hit the electrical drop from the alley to her house but it would have to be a lucky shot.  The trunk is on my side so it is my tree. 

There are more branches on that side vs. mine and if she removed several it would not be noticeable to the overall balance of the tree and it is so tall you really can't see the whole tree unless you are blocks away.  There are 30 others just like it within the city block that no one is paying to prune, they are all natural.  It has no gall and no insect-caused disease.  Per the arborist who took down the other tree last year it is healthy.  The reasons she noted were her concerns for her property couched in terms of "what is best for everyone" even though every reason was her own (wants to sweep fewer needles, that one branch on her side looks dead, it leans 3 degrees toward her property, etc).   

There is a bit more to the story.  During the first exchange about the tree I cheerfully mentioned that my adult daughter was moving back to this town from the big city after getting a new job, and that we were seeing many people leaving that big city now for political concerns and to reduce their cost of living.  The neighbor said, "We can't have that, there is not enough housing to support that!"  So that was really what got to me.  Not only is she declaring what shall be done on my property with my money, but thinks she has a right to say who can move to her town.  I left that exchange and stewed about it for 2 days and decided I have had enough from her and I put up the boundary and told her no on the tree.  She was curt and had a very snarky "you are not doing what is good for you" attitude.  Despite my being an exceedingly nice neighbor and very courteous, she turned on the bitch mode with this friction from me. 

I have been a good and reasonable neighbor.  Incredibly, she tied my blackberry bush to her side of the fence so she could get the berries this year (she admitted that) and I said nothing.  One of my sprinkler heads was turned toward her lot so it would water there, I quietly turned it back and didn't make a stink even though that had to be deliberate.  She remarked that my fire pit caused some smoke to drift into their bedroom last year; I didn't burn it this at all this year to be kind.  She was worried about some bushes on the lot line and I cut them far back the next day.  She likes to remark that she chose several of the plantings in my yard for the prior owners and keeps track of them.  I lost a dogwood in my front yard to an ice storm last year and she likes to comment about what WE should put in to replace it.  Pretty nutty, very presumptuous.     

And yet the first time I said no about something, she mounts her high horse.  I realize I have let her run the show far too much in a misguided attempt to be neighborly and she is taking the proverbial mile.  Perhaps she didn't mean to say my daughter shouldn't be allowed to move back to her hometown, but that was really the last straw.   

Best to just let her be mad than to continually allow her to believe she is in charge of all she surveys.  Band aid ripped off.                       

Well, the issue, from her viewpoint, is that you were nice before and turned a blind eye to her shenanigans, so she knew you would be fine with the pruning.  Now you have turned on her with this refusal.   How dare you grow a backbone?

Let her be mad.

SwordGuy

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #872 on: September 17, 2020, 09:56:43 PM »
My new golden rule is that if I would never do it to someone, I don't have to take it from anyone, and I never would have dreamed of forcing my will on them as they have so often pushed me to do something for their benefit.  Good riddance.

@MissNancyPryor , that's a wonderful attitude.   Bravo to you!   Life generally gets better when you stop letting assholes mess around with you.

Our neighbor had a tree that was dying and leaned towards the powerline to our house.  It was a good 10 feet inside their property line in a naturally wooded portion of their lot next to our house.   In other words, there was no landscaping other than "let the trees for 20' from the property line do their thing."  And there were quite a few trees!   Cutting the branch on our side of the lot line wouldn't solve the problem of us losing power during the next hurricane or tropical storm.   With several a year nowadays it was just a matter of when, not if.   If it happened during a big storm it might be 3-5 days before we got power restored.

We let our neighbor know about our concern.   If he agreed it was a problem, we were willing to pay to have the tree removed.  If not, then that was his right.

That seemed to be a fairer way to handle a problem that would only affect us.  Besides, we liked all those (other) trees!


Sugaree

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #873 on: September 18, 2020, 12:27:08 PM »
My next door neighbor is freaking awesome.  She's quiet and easygoing.  I rarely see her, and when I do see her she's very nice.  However, the neighbors across the street from her and the ones that used to live next door hated her.  One day, the neighbor across the street was having some trees cut down and the neighbor next door asked the tree guys to take down a tree in her yard.  They then demanded that she repay them for the cost of cutting the tree.  That might have been the only time I've ever known her to be anything other than gracious.  She told them that not only would she not be paying, but they were all lucky that she wasn't demanding that they pay the value of the tree.  It's worth noting that we warned her what was going on and she asked "what tree?" because she didn't even notice that it was gone. 

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #874 on: September 18, 2020, 01:30:26 PM »
My next door neighbor is freaking awesome.  She's quiet and easygoing.  I rarely see her, and when I do see her she's very nice.  However, the neighbors across the street from her and the ones that used to live next door hated her.  One day, the neighbor across the street was having some trees cut down and the neighbor next door asked the tree guys to take down a tree in her yard.  They then demanded that she repay them for the cost of cutting the tree.  That might have been the only time I've ever known her to be anything other than gracious.  She told them that not only would she not be paying, but they were all lucky that she wasn't demanding that they pay the value of the tree.  It's worth noting that we warned her what was going on and she asked "what tree?" because she didn't even notice that it was gone.
Cutting down a tree that's not yours can turn out to be exceedingly expensive, particularly if it's a hardwood.  A few years ago, I read the story of a guy who lost a number of trees because a tree company thought that quoting a job meant that the guy had authorized it, and then refused to stop when he (as the homeowner) told them to stop.  His property backed up to a steep embankment, and the trees also prevented erosion.  The resulting liability, not just for the trees, but for remediating the resulting erosion, along with legal costs, penalties, etc, ended up bankrupting the company.

Tree law, in some places, is something you do *not* want to mess with.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #875 on: September 19, 2020, 12:46:41 AM »

Tree law, in some places, is something you do *not* want to mess with.

Tree law is no joke, but you know who lives in trees?  Birds.  And bird law is insane.

Catbert

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #876 on: September 19, 2020, 11:19:19 AM »
Wow,  Just wow.  "What should we plant next?" is so far over the top.

Most of the other stuff happens with neighbors from time to time so I get why you didn't make a fuss before.  But my neighbor asked me first about the water / sprinkler before we adjusted it.

I am not sure why her response to more people moving back was alarm and not for the increased house price, but whatever.

It's entirely possible that "people from the city" moving in the code for "people of a different color". 

Davnasty

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #877 on: September 19, 2020, 10:55:10 PM »

Tree law, in some places, is something you do *not* want to mess with.

Tree law is no joke, but you know who lives in trees?  Birds.  And bird law is insane.

The problem with bird law, is that it's not governed by reason.

Sibley

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #878 on: September 21, 2020, 01:51:25 PM »
My next door neighbor is freaking awesome.  She's quiet and easygoing.  I rarely see her, and when I do see her she's very nice.  However, the neighbors across the street from her and the ones that used to live next door hated her.  One day, the neighbor across the street was having some trees cut down and the neighbor next door asked the tree guys to take down a tree in her yard.  They then demanded that she repay them for the cost of cutting the tree.  That might have been the only time I've ever known her to be anything other than gracious.  She told them that not only would she not be paying, but they were all lucky that she wasn't demanding that they pay the value of the tree.  It's worth noting that we warned her what was going on and she asked "what tree?" because she didn't even notice that it was gone.
Cutting down a tree that's not yours can turn out to be exceedingly expensive, particularly if it's a hardwood.  A few years ago, I read the story of a guy who lost a number of trees because a tree company thought that quoting a job meant that the guy had authorized it, and then refused to stop when he (as the homeowner) told them to stop.  His property backed up to a steep embankment, and the trees also prevented erosion.  The resulting liability, not just for the trees, but for remediating the resulting erosion, along with legal costs, penalties, etc, ended up bankrupting the company.

Tree law, in some places, is something you do *not* want to mess with.

Frankly, that company deserved to go under. How stupid can you be?

SheWhoWalksAtLunch

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #879 on: September 22, 2020, 09:15:07 AM »
Mostly PTF.

The DH and I started a weekly neighborhood campfire (no touching, no sharing, no politics, no pandemic) during the early days of lockdown. (Itís not like anyone had anywhere else to go back then.) For the most part, weíve enjoyed getting to know the full time residents on our road and anti-mustachian behaviors have been few and easy to overlook. (Although the family least able to afford it, were the ones to set off a self-reported $500+ of fireworks on the 4th of July.)

The part time residents are another story.  Something about owning a vacation home in a tourist destination seems to actively block rational thought.  Now that Iím following this thread, maybe Iíll remember to report the next time we get an update from the worst offenders.

sherr

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #880 on: September 25, 2020, 02:54:23 PM »
Quote
But he is impressed that we know that the real limit for the 401k is $57k, not $19k,

Please tell me more!

@SavinMaven I'm not sure I'm interpreting your request correctly, but just in case:
Employee contribution limit is $19k. Employee + Employer contribution is $57k. So if you're self-employed, you can contribute a bunch more from the "employer" side.

Catbert

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #881 on: October 22, 2020, 01:21:14 PM »
Not a big story, but it's been a month since anyone else posted, so...

My neighbors are probably in their early 70s.  He's retired military and they import handcrafts and sell through their small store and, I think, wholesale elsewhere.  As you can imagine they are in a world of hurt right now.  Same hurt they were in during the Great Recession.  Their screaming fights are mostly a mixture of Portuguese and Spanish so I'm only guess that they fights are about money.

Nevertheless, every two weeks they get bottled water delivered and every month they get pest control company to spray for bugs.  I've been told our local water tastes pretty crappy.  I grew up here so it just tastes like water to me.  Certainly it's safe to drink.  And yeah, we get spiders and ants outside, but I feel no compulsion to kill e-v-e-r-y
s-i-n-g-l-e one of them monthly.

shadowmoss

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #882 on: October 22, 2020, 02:35:23 PM »
If they are importing things the pest spraying may be a necessity.  I've heard some strange stories.

Catbert

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #883 on: October 22, 2020, 04:53:25 PM »
Hmmm.  Maybe.  But there stock isn't delivered to their house. 

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #884 on: October 23, 2020, 10:49:17 AM »
I'd be worried about constant applying fresh poison to my home might eventually poison my family.

Once in a while is one thing, monthly is another.