The "sour grapes" I was referring to was about her comment that she didn't like everyone talking about their trips to Bermuda or their home improvement plans. My feeling is that this is what's going on in their lives. Why can't she be part of the conversation, "Wow, Bermuda sounds fabulous! What was your favorite part?" Would she rather have everyone hiding what their doing and tip-toe-ing around her to not hurt her feelings? She should talk about her travel plans "We've got an amazing camping trip planned with the kiddos!" or "We are going to the storytelling festival this year, the kids loved it!" I know because I chose to be a SAHM, that our purchases and trips are different than if I were a working mom. But I never felt bad about that. I felt like I was incredibly fortunate to be able to be home and raise our kids. I think sour grapes and dissatisfaction come from the comparison, and an inability to be happy for others, or not being truly happy in your choice to be home.
I get that some gifts are not well thought out. But it was a gift. Someone thought of you and did their best. People have given my kids tons of stuff I would have never picked out- either it was impractical or I knew they could use/would like something else. Usually kids open and play with it anyway, but if it's a gift to the parents- take it back and get that gift card you were really wanting. Or donate it to someone who could really use it.
I guess what irks me boils down to these things:
1) Considering herself "less fortunate". If you can be a SAHM with 3 healthy kids and live in the US, you are very fortunate.
2) Pouting when other siblings talk about their "wealthy" life. I just think (back to point 1) that if you're truly happy in your choices, you can be in the conversation with others about their choices. Even if you don't agree with how they spend their time or money, you can be civil and be part of the conversation.
3) Not being assertive and asking for what you want. She complains that her dad promised her gas money to travel to see him, then never gave it. My thought is that he probably forgot. But if it's important, she could give him a gentle reminder.
4) Directing other how to "bless" you with gifts. If they ask, let them know. If they don't, accept it graciously.
*A lot of this doesn't apply to the truly less fortunate, those who are going through really hard times because of medical or financial problems out of their control. I am talking only about someone whose life choices mean that they won't be going to Bermuda any time soon.