Author Topic: Roommate Rant  (Read 75060 times)

K-Dogg

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 39
  • Location: Alberta
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #150 on: July 05, 2016, 06:43:54 PM »
@GrimSqueaker Please ignore all the haters. Even the ones hating with their polite faces on. You are a clever writer, and the analogy was just fine! Some people just love to be offended, even though you clearly meant no offense. Many probably didn't catch that you were a woman, and assumed otherwise due to your excellent take on becoming the Alpha.

For the large contribution you make to the forum, I would like to say, "Thank-you." Your posts are genuine and real, and a pleasure to read.


SoccerLounge

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 240
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #151 on: July 05, 2016, 07:40:03 PM »
@GrimSqueaker Please ignore all the haters.

Except the ones who hate when GS makes INACCURATE STATEMENTS ABOUT THE OPERATION OF PRESSURIZED WATER REACTORS AAARGH um I mean, I agree entirely. ;D

Edit: I'm gonna try and quit derailing this thread now. Sorry, OP!
« Last Edit: July 05, 2016, 07:42:23 PM by SoccerLounge »

FireLane

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 749
  • Location: NYC
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #152 on: July 05, 2016, 08:17:46 PM »
This thread is one of the most entertaining things I've seen in a long time, and for that, PencilThinStash, you have my sympathy.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #153 on: July 05, 2016, 08:27:46 PM »
Haters? Nah. It's probably time to admit to my real agenda. You see, in this particular thread I'm deliberately offending as many people as possible, for grins and giggles.

So far I've irritated:

- Managers
- Engineers
- Dog owners
- Farmers
- Chemical/Nuclear engineers who know bugger-all about correct fuck reactor design :) though I did own up to my technical error about pressurized water reactors
- Women
- Deer ticks
- Fetishists
- Alcoholics
- Heterosexual men (with the "running out" gag which was actually the most viciously sexist thing I've said so far)
- Anyone who enjoys anal sex
- Nazis
- IPA drinkers
- Clergy
- Porn viewers
... and the La Leche League.

That should be almost everybody. In fact there should be a fair bit of overlap, especially in the Nazi, fetish, and management communities.

Have I missed anyone?

Poor PencilThinStache... he went on vacation and left us in charge of the fuck factory, and look what happened.

SoccerLounge

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 240
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #154 on: July 05, 2016, 08:34:18 PM »
Poor PencilThinStache... he went on vacation and left us in charge of the fuck factory, and look what happened.

Well, this is the Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy, so when he's not providing the Shame(ful exploits of his beggar of a roomie), we must provide the Comedy.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #155 on: July 05, 2016, 08:36:53 PM »
Poor PencilThinStache... he went on vacation and left us in charge of the fuck factory, and look what happened.

Well, this is the Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy, so when he's not providing the Shame(ful exploits of his beggar of a roomie), we must provide the Comedy.

I'm well suited to that, especially since my last concussion.

andy85

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1061
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Louisville, KY
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #156 on: July 06, 2016, 07:03:31 AM »
@GrimSqueaker Please ignore all the haters. Even the ones hating with their polite faces on. You are a clever writer, and the analogy was just fine! Some people just love to be offended, even though you clearly meant no offense. Many probably didn't catch that you were a woman, and assumed otherwise due to your excellent take on becoming the Alpha.

For the large contribution you make to the forum, I would like to say, "Thank-you." Your posts are genuine and real, and a pleasure to read.

wait...is this true Grim?

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #157 on: July 06, 2016, 07:57:59 AM »
@GrimSqueaker Please ignore all the haters. Even the ones hating with their polite faces on. You are a clever writer, and the analogy was just fine! Some people just love to be offended, even though you clearly meant no offense. Many probably didn't catch that you were a woman, and assumed otherwise due to your excellent take on becoming the Alpha.

For the large contribution you make to the forum, I would like to say, "Thank-you." Your posts are genuine and real, and a pleasure to read.

wait...is this true Grim?

Hang on, let me check.

... uh huh... yeah... that's what I thought...

I still do in fact have a vagina.

frugalnacho

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4663
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Madison Heights, Michigan
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #158 on: July 06, 2016, 08:01:27 AM »
Haters? Nah. It's probably time to admit to my real agenda. You see, in this particular thread I'm deliberately offending as many people as possible, for grins and giggles.

So far I've irritated:

- Managers
- Engineers
- Dog owners
- Farmers
- Chemical/Nuclear engineers who know bugger-all about correct fuck reactor design :) though I did own up to my technical error about pressurized water reactors
- Women
- Deer ticks
- Fetishists
- Alcoholics
- Heterosexual men (with the "running out" gag which was actually the most viciously sexist thing I've said so far)
- Anyone who enjoys anal sex
- Nazis
- IPA drinkers
- Clergy
- Porn viewers
... and the La Leche League.

That should be almost everybody. In fact there should be a fair bit of overlap, especially in the Nazi, fetish, and management communities.

Have I missed anyone?

Poor PencilThinStache... he went on vacation and left us in charge of the fuck factory, and look what happened.

I fall into most of those categories but was not offended.

merula

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1441
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #159 on: July 06, 2016, 08:26:55 AM »
This thread is awesome, and GS, if you're ever in my neck of the woods I would like to buy you your preferred flavor of alcohol.

But I do want to say that I thought Dezrah's points were well made. It's easier to make cliched jokes than creative ones, and it gets tiring dealing with objectification, no matter the characteristics of the person doing the objectifying.

andy85

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1061
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Louisville, KY
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #160 on: July 06, 2016, 08:28:33 AM »
@GrimSqueaker Please ignore all the haters. Even the ones hating with their polite faces on. You are a clever writer, and the analogy was just fine! Some people just love to be offended, even though you clearly meant no offense. Many probably didn't catch that you were a woman, and assumed otherwise due to your excellent take on becoming the Alpha.

For the large contribution you make to the forum, I would like to say, "Thank-you." Your posts are genuine and real, and a pleasure to read.

wait...is this true Grim?

Hang on, let me check.

... uh huh... yeah... that's what I thought...

I still do in fact have a vagina.
well i'll be a s.o.b...
maybe it was the original alpha male post that made me think you were male...no idea...anyways..carry on with the hilarity please kthanks

Paul der Krake

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5387
  • Age: 13
  • Location: UTC-10:00
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #161 on: July 06, 2016, 08:48:13 AM »
What's wrong with comparing women to beverages and noting that some of us are considered more valuable and desirable than others? It's fact.
Found the not so subtle hint!

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8829
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #162 on: July 06, 2016, 10:41:46 AM »
ha ha this thread, I love it so.  I have not been irritated (and I'm a manager, an engineer, and a chemical/nuclear engineer who *does* know about correct NAVY reactor design).


Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6963
  • Location: BC
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #163 on: July 06, 2016, 10:59:37 AM »
@GrimSqueaker Please ignore all the haters. Even the ones hating with their polite faces on. You are a clever writer, and the analogy was just fine! Some people just love to be offended, even though you clearly meant no offense. Many probably didn't catch that you were a woman, and assumed otherwise due to your excellent take on becoming the Alpha.

For the large contribution you make to the forum, I would like to say, "Thank-you." Your posts are genuine and real, and a pleasure to read.


wait...is this true Grim?

Hang on, let me check.

... uh huh... yeah... that's what I thought...

I still do in fact have a vagina.


HAH!   Big loud laughter.   Thanks, Grim... made my day.    Although I was starting to reverse my thinking of your gender (from male) with the description of mutually satisfying and respectful three-ways...  I have not come across a lot of male writers that put it quite that way... 

Kaspian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1534
  • Location: Canada
    • My Necronomicon of Badassity
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #164 on: July 06, 2016, 01:48:57 PM »
From age 25-27 I had two guys that would drop in at my place every single Friday and Saturday night.  We'd have a few beers, go out to the bar, then back to my place.  The party would be over and they'd go home when my fridge was empty of alcohol.  It actually took me a long time to clue in, "Neither of them has ever brought shit--they just drink my beer, listen to music, and leave when it's gone.  Sure, I have the good job but they've drank at least $4000 of my beer."  I think I didn't get it because I'd finally just gotten a decent salaried job so had more money than ever before in life.  ...And growing up, my other (good) friends and I had always pooled our resources.  I liked treating guests who came over. 

But these dudes:  2 guys x 8 beers each x 2 weekend nights x 52 weekends x 2 years?  Holy shitballs!!   

Conversation went like this:

Me:  "You should bring some beer over sometime, you know?"
Friend:  "Oh, I didn't know it was an issue."
Me:  "It's not, but you and Davey never bring any and it's added up over the past couple of years."
Friend:  "Sure, no problem, dude--I'll bring some over this weekend."

NEVER SAW THEM AT MY PLACE AGAIN!!  They never called or dropped by or anything.  ...Fuckers.

Basenji

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1035
  • Location: D.C.-ish
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #165 on: July 06, 2016, 02:27:10 PM »

Acknowledge your girlfriends, invite them to your parties, and encourage them to socialize with your friends and family. Set aside intimate time with each of them one-on-one, and perhaps have a couple of three-ways if you really want to get your lips wet. But keep them from crossing Jack's path.

Jack knows your girlfriends exist, and he's clamoring to be set up with them because in his mind you've got more poon than you really need or can service. Yet that would be a waste of a sensitive, caring partner.

I'm all hot and bothered now.

Shane

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1375
  • Location: PA
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #166 on: July 06, 2016, 02:28:47 PM »
Until today, I also thought @GS was a man. :)

It's interesting how you can form a picture of someone in your head based on what he writes, and then when you find out that he is actually a she, how it kind of messes with your head.

For anyone thinking of maybe renting out a room in her house, there's some pretty useful advice on @GS's website, theliveinlandlord.com. I've been reading some of it and have bookmarked the site for future reference. It's interesting how @GS's voice on the website is pretty different from here on the forum. When I read her posts on her website, I picture her dressed in business clothes, sitting in an office. When I read @GS's posts here in this thread I picture her sitting at home in her pajamas sipping on a glass of bourbon. Probably both of the images in my head are wrong... :)


Jackthe

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 16
    • Dutch blog about ER and Travelling
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #167 on: July 06, 2016, 02:37:24 PM »

Acknowledge your girlfriends, invite them to your parties, and encourage them to socialize with your friends and family. Set aside intimate time with each of them one-on-one, and perhaps have a couple of three-ways if you really want to get your lips wet. But keep them from crossing Jack's path.

Jack knows your girlfriends exist, and he's clamoring to be set up with them because in his mind you've got more poon than you really need or can service. Yet that would be a waste of a sensitive, caring partner.

I'm all hot and bothered now.
Keep the analogy with the bourbon: on the rocks!

Think of those icecubes melting, suddenly creating small drops of water on the outside out of nowhere

Nederstash

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 404
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #168 on: July 06, 2016, 02:40:09 PM »
I am a deer tick and I find TGS very offense. You know what you did.

LeRainDrop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1834
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #169 on: July 06, 2016, 02:53:55 PM »
What's wrong with comparing women to beverages and noting that some of us are considered more valuable and desirable than others? It's fact.
Found the not so subtle hint!

Same here.  Until that point, I had assumed Grim Squeaker was a man.  Then when I read that, I was like, "Oh wow!  Mad props to this lady!"  (I am a woman.)

Making Cookies

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1645
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #170 on: July 07, 2016, 08:08:07 AM »
What's wrong with comparing women to beverages and noting that some of us are considered more valuable and desirable than others? It's fact.
Found the not so subtle hint!

Same here.  Until that point, I had assumed Grim Squeaker was a man.  Then when I read that, I was like, "Oh wow!  Mad props to this lady!"  (I am a woman.)

Then shouldn't you be LaRainDrop? ;)

Kitsune

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1852
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #171 on: July 07, 2016, 08:14:02 AM »
What's wrong with comparing women to beverages and noting that some of us are considered more valuable and desirable than others? It's fact.
Found the not so subtle hint!

Same here.  Until that point, I had assumed Grim Squeaker was a man.  Then when I read that, I was like, "Oh wow!  Mad props to this lady!"  (I am a woman.)

Then shouldn't you be LaRainDrop? ;)

That's assuming French genders make any sense. I'm just sayin': vagina is masculine. erection is feminine.

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8829
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #172 on: July 07, 2016, 09:23:05 AM »
From age 25-27 I had two guys that would drop in at my place every single Friday and Saturday night.  We'd have a few beers, go out to the bar, then back to my place.  The party would be over and they'd go home when my fridge was empty of alcohol.  It actually took me a long time to clue in, "Neither of them has ever brought shit--they just drink my beer, listen to music, and leave when it's gone.  Sure, I have the good job but they've drank at least $4000 of my beer."  I think I didn't get it because I'd finally just gotten a decent salaried job so had more money than ever before in life.  ...And growing up, my other (good) friends and I had always pooled our resources.  I liked treating guests who came over. 

But these dudes:  2 guys x 8 beers each x 2 weekend nights x 52 weekends x 2 years?  Holy shitballs!!   

Conversation went like this:

Me:  "You should bring some beer over sometime, you know?"
Friend:  "Oh, I didn't know it was an issue."
Me:  "It's not, but you and Davey never bring any and it's added up over the past couple of years."
Friend:  "Sure, no problem, dude--I'll bring some over this weekend."

NEVER SAW THEM AT MY PLACE AGAIN!!  They never called or dropped by or anything.  ...Fuckers.
Looks like you got out of that *only* $4000 in the hole.  Could have been worse!

Making Cookies

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1645
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #173 on: July 07, 2016, 09:39:32 AM »
I think these situations are almost a rite of passage of your 20's.

Friends who overstay their welcome or visit too frequently when you get your first place.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #174 on: July 07, 2016, 03:20:52 PM »
Thanks for the love, folks. And the good-natured burns!

Now, I'd like to do my part to clean up the party mess before the grown-ups get back, and get PencilThinStache's thread back on the rails. I should probably stop offending people for a moment and mention one more problem that's going to recur.

There are two plays Jack may try next. One is what I call "the Suck Play", and it's classic self-sabotage combined with a late stage plea for help that's designed to appeal to other people's altruistic instincts.

The other play is one I call "the Velociraptor". It relies on triangulation (playing one person off against another). There are three people involved: the manipulator (Jack), the target (PencilThinStache), and a third party. The play differs from the cat's paw because the third party doesn't take risks or come to harm; the only goals are to isolate the target from the community and to apply pressure on the target to act in the manipulator's interests.

In the Velociraptor play, the manipulator goes slithering around to people who know the target, and has a highly selective meltdown. An adept manipulator won't actually ask for help. The third party really, truly, honestly believes that the target is at fault (when in reality the problem is due to the manipulator's own behavior). But the third party, acting on what he or she truly believes is his or her own initiative, goes off and applies pressure or punishment to the target, in order to get the target to give the manipulator what he or she wants. As with the velociraptors in "Jurassic Park", the attack will come from the side.

The Velociraptor differs from the classic Cat's Paw play because the fuckup doesn't ask the third party to intervene.

So, PencilThinStache, when you get back from your vacation, you might get a question or comment about Jack's job search and finances from a source you wouldn't have otherwise expected.

Your defense is the truth: The two of you exchanged job leads, and the job you got came from a lead Jack found but chose to not follow up on. After he wouldn't call them back, you were hired. Since then, he's done nothing but sit on his ass and party. Now that it's too late to find work, instead of flipping burgers Jack is wasting time bitching to people and getting them to come to you and pretend you somehow caused the situation. You weren't the one who stapled a piano to Jack's ass. So although you're willing to pass his resume on a second time it's unlikely your boss will react well given that Jack ignored the first job offer. it's inappropriate for you to care more than Jack does about his job search. So you don't, except to the extent he's on your lease. But if they feel that badly about the situation, and they obviously do because they're sticking their noses into it, they're welcome to pay Jack's half of the rent for him for just as long as they like.

Nederstash

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 404
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #175 on: July 07, 2016, 03:42:41 PM »
Thanks for the love, folks. And the good-natured burns!

Now, I'd like to do my part to clean up the party mess before the grown-ups get back, and get PencilThinStache's thread back on the rails. I should probably stop offending people for a moment and mention one more problem that's going to recur.

There are two plays Jack may try next. One is what I call "the Suck Play", and it's classic self-sabotage combined with a late stage plea for help that's designed to appeal to other people's altruistic instincts.

The other play is one I call "the Velociraptor". It relies on triangulation (playing one person off against another). There are three people involved: the manipulator (Jack), the target (PencilThinStache), and a third party. The play differs from the cat's paw because the third party doesn't take risks or come to harm; the only goals are to isolate the target from the community and to apply pressure on the target to act in the manipulator's interests.

In the Velociraptor play, the manipulator goes slithering around to people who know the target, and has a highly selective meltdown. An adept manipulator won't actually ask for help. The third party really, truly, honestly believes that the target is at fault (when in reality the problem is due to the manipulator's own behavior). But the third party, acting on what he or she truly believes is his or her own initiative, goes off and applies pressure or punishment to the target, in order to get the target to give the manipulator what he or she wants. As with the velociraptors in "Jurassic Park", the attack will come from the side.

The Velociraptor differs from the classic Cat's Paw play because the fuckup doesn't ask the third party to intervene.

So, PencilThinStache, when you get back from your vacation, you might get a question or comment about Jack's job search and finances from a source you wouldn't have otherwise expected.

Your defense is the truth: The two of you exchanged job leads, and the job you got came from a lead Jack found but chose to not follow up on. After he wouldn't call them back, you were hired. Since then, he's done nothing but sit on his ass and party. Now that it's too late to find work, instead of flipping burgers Jack is wasting time bitching to people and getting them to come to you and pretend you somehow caused the situation. You weren't the one who stapled a piano to Jack's ass. So although you're willing to pass his resume on a second time it's unlikely your boss will react well given that Jack ignored the first job offer. it's inappropriate for you to care more than Jack does about his job search. So you don't, except to the extent he's on your lease. But if they feel that badly about the situation, and they obviously do because they're sticking their noses into it, they're welcome to pay Jack's half of the rent for him for just as long as they like.

So much is falling into place now! I realize I may have been Velociraped a couple of times in the past...

Jackthe

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 16
    • Dutch blog about ER and Travelling
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #176 on: July 07, 2016, 05:36:15 PM »
I fully disagree on this one! Jheez, the guy is giving fully his part of the bargain, if not more. Without a job paying half of all the costs. Incomewise OP is really paying shit compared to Jack. And after stealing mine his job, going on holiday! How blunt can you put it to his face!

Yeah we know  you got a stable job, but jeez when will you start to live like a human and take care of others ! Not everyone is as punctual like you.

....


...
..
 
.
That's just the beer stash talking... for sure

Ladychips

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #177 on: July 07, 2016, 06:09:50 PM »
Oh how I hate the manipulator AND the third party in the velicoraptor...  I've had that done to me and nearly lost my shit on everyone involved.  But hey, it didn't happen again...

Kaminoge

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 348
  • Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #178 on: July 08, 2016, 08:31:13 AM »
in internet land i never want you and jack to separate and i want you all to work together forever just so i can selfishly be entertained. i love this thread.

1. This thread is fantastic.
2. Props to you for managing to keep living with Jack under reasonably amicable terms for all this time. You have mad people skills (I would have tried to say something way back at the first stage of the food sharing issue and somehow it would have ended in bitterness and anger)

whiskeyjack

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 94
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #179 on: July 08, 2016, 09:12:27 AM »
The other play is one I call "the Velociraptor". It relies on triangulation (playing one person off against another). There are three people involved: the manipulator (Jack), the target (PencilThinStache), and a third party. The play differs from the cat's paw because the third party doesn't take risks or come to harm; the only goals are to isolate the target from the community and to apply pressure on the target to act in the manipulator's interests.

Grim - you are a riot and I would love to take you out for beers sometime.   You have code names for these?  Are you going to write a book or 'how do deal with sucky people' manual?

Kaspian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1534
  • Location: Canada
    • My Necronomicon of Badassity
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #180 on: July 08, 2016, 09:44:33 AM »
From age 25-27 I had two guys that would drop in at my place every single Friday and Saturday night.  We'd have a few beers, go out to the bar, then back to my place.  The party would be over and they'd go home when my fridge was empty of alcohol.  It actually took me a long time to clue in, "Neither of them has ever brought shit--they just drink my beer, listen to music, and leave when it's gone.  Sure, I have the good job but they've drank at least $4000 of my beer."  I think I didn't get it because I'd finally just gotten a decent salaried job so had more money than ever before in life.  ...And growing up, my other (good) friends and I had always pooled our resources.  I liked treating guests who came over. 

But these dudes:  2 guys x 8 beers each x 2 weekend nights x 52 weekends x 2 years?  Holy shitballs!!   

Conversation went like this:

Me:  "You should bring some beer over sometime, you know?"
Friend:  "Oh, I didn't know it was an issue."
Me:  "It's not, but you and Davey never bring any and it's added up over the past couple of years."
Friend:  "Sure, no problem, dude--I'll bring some over this weekend."

NEVER SAW THEM AT MY PLACE AGAIN!!  They never called or dropped by or anything.  ...Fuckers.
Looks like you got out of that *only* $4000 in the hole.  Could have been worse!

I realized something about moochers last night, why they suck, and will likely never succeed at life:

They have defective brains.

If you could get 1664 beers but then had to buy 12, why the fuck wouldn't you stick with that arrangement and milk that poor sucker even longer?  That's a ratio of about 139:1.   A return of something like 99% over two years?  A sweeter deal could never be found.  Mustachians, who understand math, would jump all over investment returns like that.  Moochers, however, don't see it that way--"Fuck, I got 139 for the price of one?  Well, if I have to actually pay for one beer (which I will be consuming myself anyway) then fuck this shit!!"  Even if you're an ignoramus, an evil person of epic proportions, how could you be so stupid to abandon that?

I have the feeling OP's Jack will be the same.  Say "No", insist he pays, and he'll be long-gone to the Yukon.  ...Completely ignoring how the friendship financially landslided in his favor 90% of the time.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2016, 09:46:47 AM by Kaspian »

frugalnacho

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4663
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Madison Heights, Michigan
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #181 on: July 08, 2016, 10:21:18 AM »
From age 25-27 I had two guys that would drop in at my place every single Friday and Saturday night.  We'd have a few beers, go out to the bar, then back to my place.  The party would be over and they'd go home when my fridge was empty of alcohol.  It actually took me a long time to clue in, "Neither of them has ever brought shit--they just drink my beer, listen to music, and leave when it's gone.  Sure, I have the good job but they've drank at least $4000 of my beer."  I think I didn't get it because I'd finally just gotten a decent salaried job so had more money than ever before in life.  ...And growing up, my other (good) friends and I had always pooled our resources.  I liked treating guests who came over. 

But these dudes:  2 guys x 8 beers each x 2 weekend nights x 52 weekends x 2 years?  Holy shitballs!!   

Conversation went like this:

Me:  "You should bring some beer over sometime, you know?"
Friend:  "Oh, I didn't know it was an issue."
Me:  "It's not, but you and Davey never bring any and it's added up over the past couple of years."
Friend:  "Sure, no problem, dude--I'll bring some over this weekend."

NEVER SAW THEM AT MY PLACE AGAIN!!  They never called or dropped by or anything.  ...Fuckers.
Looks like you got out of that *only* $4000 in the hole.  Could have been worse!

I realized something about moochers last night, why they suck, and will likely never succeed at life:

They have defective brains.

If you could get 1664 beers but then had to buy 12, why the fuck wouldn't you stick with that arrangement and milk that poor sucker even longer?  That's a ratio of about 139:1.   A return of something like 99% over two years?  A sweeter deal could never be found.  Mustachians, who understand math, would jump all over investment returns like that.  Moochers, however, don't see it that way--"Fuck, I got 139 for the price of one?  Well, if I have to actually pay for one beer (which I will be consuming myself anyway) then fuck this shit!!"  Even if you're an ignoramus, an evil person of epic proportions, how could you be so stupid to abandon that?

I have the feeling OP's Jack will be the same.  Say "No", insist he pays, and he'll be long-gone to the Yukon.  ...Completely ignoring how the friendship financially landslided in his favor 90% of the time.

Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.

Paul der Krake

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5387
  • Age: 13
  • Location: UTC-10:00
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #182 on: July 08, 2016, 11:50:15 AM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

frugalnacho

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4663
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Madison Heights, Michigan
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #183 on: July 08, 2016, 12:01:05 PM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

I get being unproductive and wasting time, but why hang out with someone just for free beer? Again and again and again for 2 years.  All kinds of people I would hang out with for free beer, but that's because I want both of those things.  Once you remove the completely free beer, I would still enjoy that person's company enough to want to hang out.  If I wouldn't enjoy their company enough to still want to hang out then I probably wouldn't hang around just for free beer.  Like if I was in that situation and Kaspian asked me to provide my own beer after 2 years, and I didn't like him enough to drink my own beer and hang out with him, then what the fuck was I doing for the last 2 years? Every single weekend making that decision: Should I just drop like $10 on beer and have a good time with people I actually want to hang out with, or hang out with Kaspian all weekend and drink his beer?

Kaspian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1534
  • Location: Canada
    • My Necronomicon of Badassity
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #184 on: July 08, 2016, 12:21:16 PM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

I get being unproductive and wasting time, but why hang out with someone just for free beer? Again and again and again for 2 years.  All kinds of people I would hang out with for free beer, but that's because I want both of those things.  Once you remove the completely free beer, I would still enjoy that person's company enough to want to hang out.  If I wouldn't enjoy their company enough to still want to hang out then I probably wouldn't hang around just for free beer.  Like if I was in that situation and Kaspian asked me to provide my own beer after 2 years, and I didn't like him enough to drink my own beer and hang out with him, then what the fuck was I doing for the last 2 years? Every single weekend making that decision: Should I just drop like $10 on beer and have a good time with people I actually want to hang out with, or hang out with Kaspian all weekend and drink his beer?

You're welcome over for a beer or two or six, anytime.  Just not every weekend for two damn years!  :D I think I just never clued into what was going on--friends had never done that to me before.  I even ordered us late-night pizzas about once or twice a month. I was one of the few guys with a salaried job (only $33K at the time) so was rich beyond all our imaginations. 

I think the moochers were offended that I'd asked.  Hurt their pride, you know?  I think the moocher mentality is that they're a prince/princess and we should all enjoy paying for their amazing company.  "Fuck that guy--doesn't appreciate me!  I'll go elsewhere...," instead of, "We didn't appreciate him!  Let's fix this situation and then maybe we can mooch a lot more again."  It's not that they didn't like hanging out with me too, it's that I'd "suddenly become an asshole". 

I don't think you can fix short-sightedness.  Mustachians see it every day with people spending like kings then bitching about debt.


Note Paul der Krake  ->  Yes, they were time wasters, cool, and completely unproductive people.  Off-and-on employed at pretty shitty jobs. Usually they'd get fired for being unproductive at work.
« Last Edit: July 08, 2016, 12:26:20 PM by Kaspian »

frugalnacho

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4663
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Madison Heights, Michigan
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #185 on: July 08, 2016, 12:29:36 PM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

I get being unproductive and wasting time, but why hang out with someone just for free beer? Again and again and again for 2 years.  All kinds of people I would hang out with for free beer, but that's because I want both of those things.  Once you remove the completely free beer, I would still enjoy that person's company enough to want to hang out.  If I wouldn't enjoy their company enough to still want to hang out then I probably wouldn't hang around just for free beer.  Like if I was in that situation and Kaspian asked me to provide my own beer after 2 years, and I didn't like him enough to drink my own beer and hang out with him, then what the fuck was I doing for the last 2 years? Every single weekend making that decision: Should I just drop like $10 on beer and have a good time with people I actually want to hang out with, or hang out with Kaspian all weekend and drink his beer?

You're welcome over for a beer or two or six, anytime.  Just not every weekend for two damn years!  :D I think I just never clued into what was going on--friends had never done that to me before.  I even ordered us late-night pizzas about once or twice a month. I was one of the few guys with a salaried job (only $33K at the time) so was rich beyond all our imaginations. 

I think the moochers were offended that I'd asked.  Hurt their pride, you know?  I think the moocher mentality is that they're a prince/princess and we should all enjoy paying for their amazing company.  "Fuck that guy--doesn't appreciate me!  I'll go elsewhere...," instead of, "We didn't appreciate him!  Let's fix this situation and then maybe we can mooch a lot more again."  It's not that they didn't like hanging out with me too, it's that I'd "suddenly become an asshole". 

I don't think you can fix short-sightedness.  Mustachians see it every day with people spending like kings then bitching about debt.


Note Paul der Krake  ->  Yes, they were time wasters, cool, and completely unproductive people.  Off-and-on employed at pretty shitty jobs. Usually they'd get fired for being unproductive at work.

I had a similar situation with a friend.  We were eating my food, smoking my pot, and drinking my liquor.  So I said "hey that's not fair, why don't you provide the liquor?" and he said "yea that's fair" and we've continued to hang out for years.  Hung out last night.

MgoSam

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3647
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #186 on: July 08, 2016, 12:31:19 PM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

I get being unproductive and wasting time, but why hang out with someone just for free beer? Again and again and again for 2 years.  All kinds of people I would hang out with for free beer, but that's because I want both of those things.  Once you remove the completely free beer, I would still enjoy that person's company enough to want to hang out.  If I wouldn't enjoy their company enough to still want to hang out then I probably wouldn't hang around just for free beer.  Like if I was in that situation and Kaspian asked me to provide my own beer after 2 years, and I didn't like him enough to drink my own beer and hang out with him, then what the fuck was I doing for the last 2 years? Every single weekend making that decision: Should I just drop like $10 on beer and have a good time with people I actually want to hang out with, or hang out with Kaspian all weekend and drink his beer?

I think it's easy to fall into a routine. Once you're in a routine, a single change can completely shift the entire habit. It's why making a positive change in some small way can help people break out of terrible addictions such as smoking.

Also, we can't forget the powerful impact of something being free. Amazon's sales went up globally once they started offering free shipping. The one country that didn't have a significant increase in sales was in France, which charged a single frank for shipping (essentially a quarter). Amazon changed it to free shipping in France, and their sales went up dramatically.

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3054
  • Location: Emmaus, PA
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #187 on: July 08, 2016, 12:54:26 PM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

I get being unproductive and wasting time, but why hang out with someone just for free beer? Again and again and again for 2 years.  All kinds of people I would hang out with for free beer, but that's because I want both of those things.  Once you remove the completely free beer, I would still enjoy that person's company enough to want to hang out.  If I wouldn't enjoy their company enough to still want to hang out then I probably wouldn't hang around just for free beer.  Like if I was in that situation and Kaspian asked me to provide my own beer after 2 years, and I didn't like him enough to drink my own beer and hang out with him, then what the fuck was I doing for the last 2 years? Every single weekend making that decision: Should I just drop like $10 on beer and have a good time with people I actually want to hang out with, or hang out with Kaspian all weekend and drink his beer?

You're welcome over for a beer or two or six, anytime.  Just not every weekend for two damn years!  :D I think I just never clued into what was going on--friends had never done that to me before.  I even ordered us late-night pizzas about once or twice a month. I was one of the few guys with a salaried job (only $33K at the time) so was rich beyond all our imaginations. 

I think the moochers were offended that I'd asked.  Hurt their pride, you know?  I think the moocher mentality is that they're a prince/princess and we should all enjoy paying for their amazing company.  "Fuck that guy--doesn't appreciate me!  I'll go elsewhere...," instead of, "We didn't appreciate him!  Let's fix this situation and then maybe we can mooch a lot more again."  It's not that they didn't like hanging out with me too, it's that I'd "suddenly become an asshole". 

I don't think you can fix short-sightedness.  Mustachians see it every day with people spending like kings then bitching about debt.


Note Paul der Krake  ->  Yes, they were time wasters, cool, and completely unproductive people.  Off-and-on employed at pretty shitty jobs. Usually they'd get fired for being unproductive at work.

The $4000 wasn't great, but you must have wasted a lot of time on those losers too. Good riddance.

Kaspian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1534
  • Location: Canada
    • My Necronomicon of Badassity
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #188 on: July 08, 2016, 01:01:55 PM »

Note Paul der Krake  ->  Yes, they were time wasters, cool, and completely unproductive people.  Off-and-on employed at pretty shitty jobs. Usually they'd get fired for being unproductive at work.

The $4000 wasn't great, but you must have wasted a lot of time on those losers too. Good riddance.

Definitely!  You know the best parts?  Way more money in the bank (I finally began to travel), didn't have to clean my place as thoroughly for guests every weekend, didn't have to entertain until 4-5:00 in the morning and could go to bed when I wanted, no cleanup the next mornings (!!), I could have women over without Laurel and Hardy hanging out on my couch, and not a shit-ton of empties in my closet.

Sometimes firing a friend (or having them quit) is the best thing that can possibly happen. 

Making Cookies

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1645
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #189 on: July 08, 2016, 01:05:40 PM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

Haven't we all worked with that person? Let them get talking and they don't stop?

DW and I both have one of those types at work - both nice people but no sense of time. We figure we need to protect those two people from ever meeting. Someone might die! They'd talk and forget to eat, sleep or go home at the end of the day! ;)

With This Herring

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1207
  • Location: New York STATE, not city
  • TANSTAAFL!
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #190 on: July 08, 2016, 04:47:12 PM »
Why would you hang out with someone for that long if you didn't genuinely enjoy their company? Just for some free beer? Something seriously short circuited in their brains.
Some people time's is worth nothing. They are completely cool being unproductive, and assume everyone else is the same. They are the same people who strike conversations in the middle of a busy hallway, or don't have their change ready in the checkout line. Wasting their and everyone else's time doesn't bother them in the slightest, they have nowhere else to be.

Haven't we all worked with that person? Let them get talking and they don't stop?

DW and I both have one of those types at work - both nice people but no sense of time. We figure we need to protect those two people from ever meeting. Someone might die! They'd talk and forget to eat, sleep or go home at the end of the day! ;)

Nope, I've seen this before.  Each person confided to me later that "[Other talker] seems like a nice person, but he just won't shut up!"  The lack of self-awareness is impressive.

(Edited to fix quote tags, ugh!)
« Last Edit: July 10, 2016, 03:37:09 PM by With This Herring »

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2404
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #191 on: July 09, 2016, 07:47:52 AM »
The other play is one I call "the Velociraptor". It relies on triangulation (playing one person off against another). There are three people involved: the manipulator (Jack), the target (PencilThinStache), and a third party. The play differs from the cat's paw because the third party doesn't take risks or come to harm; the only goals are to isolate the target from the community and to apply pressure on the target to act in the manipulator's interests.

Grim - you are a riot and I would love to take you out for beers sometime.   You have code names for these?  Are you going to write a book or 'how do deal with sucky people' manual?

No plans for that at present but I do have most of the framework together for a book on non-profit administration. There's actually a lot of how-to-deal books out on the market already.

pbkmaine

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8468
  • Age: 64
  • Location: The Villages, Florida
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #192 on: July 09, 2016, 11:02:33 AM »
And very funny!

PencilThinStash

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 191
  • Age: 30
  • Location: Chicago Suburbs
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #193 on: July 13, 2016, 08:49:46 AM »
Poor PencilThinStache... he went on vacation and left us in charge of the fuck factory, and look what happened.

Holy hell, I leave for one week and this whole thread goes completely off the rails...

Well, I'm happy to report that the drama died down on its own while I was out of town.The movie theater Jack works at is planning on making him a manager, which will give him a bit of a pay bump. Additionally, a musician friend who runs a production company is paying Jack to do tech set up/tear down at his shows. Between the two, there's enough extra income to make up for the lost unemployment. He can afford rent now, situation no longer critical.

Meanwhile, the owner at work is in the middle of divorcing his wife (who also works there). Apparently he's been asking other employees to set up hotel reservations for him and his mistress to go on vacation, which snowballed into a complete storm of craziness while I was away - Turns out that the guy I've been calling "the owner" is only the president, while his retired parents are the actual majority shareholders. I guess someone called them up to come in and restore some measure of order when shit really started hitting the fan. Perfect week to not be in the office.

Needless to say, hiring a new employee is the very last thing on anybody's mind. Jack's still expressing interest in working there eventually, but everything is such a crazy clusterfuck right now that even he can tell it's going to be a few months before a position opens (if at all).

So, for the time being... everything between me and Jack is calm and back to normal.

Knock on wood.

Zamboni

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2863
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #194 on: July 13, 2016, 11:12:23 AM »
Glad to hear your week away had good timing.

Movie theater manager might actually be his perfect vocation. Gets to watch all the movies he wants for free, all the popcorn and soda he can eat, and he gets to tell others to do the actual work like tearing tickets and swabbing the deck . . . it's like Jack paradise.

shelivesthedream

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6261
  • Location: London, UK
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #195 on: July 13, 2016, 04:41:52 PM »
Quote from: PencilThinStash link=topic=55157.msg1151004#msg1151004
So, for the time being... everything between me and Jack is calm and back to normal.

Knock on wood.
[/quote

Dang...

Bicycle_B

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1816
  • Mustachian-ish in Live Music Capital of the World
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #196 on: July 16, 2016, 07:03:47 PM »
Whoa,  reading that,   I just got an earworm...


"I'm just a gigolo
everywhere I go
people know the part
I'm playing"....

http://www.lyricsdepot.com/david-lee-roth/just-a-gigolo.html
David Lee Roth..


Not exactly the same,  but how long until he wears out his current friends, and then starts looking for new "friends"..? hmmm....


ETA:  A new friend is having justified financial difficulties, (sudden loss of home and jobs) but instead of pulling herself up, or taking me up on my offer to help her help herself, thinks that "God will provide" and you don't have to do anything proactive yourself, other than pray.   

When she asked me for food, asking for items like frozen chicken strips (the good ones) and other pricey prepacked items and treats for her toddler...(who does NOT need them)...saying that she was worried about not having anything to eat (family of 5)....   well,  maybe I am miserely, but I went home, and split out in half my bulk rice, bulk potatoes, bulk sweet potatoes, onions, added a couple lbs of on sale bought ground meat, peanut butter jar, all my remaining oats, and generous amount of flour and cooking oil and some spices.. bulk apples... then added an extra cabbage and carrots, a jar of home made jam, for variety, and drove back to give it to her right away.

End of her requests for food from me, anyways..   I know she has asked others in the month(s) since, but never me again.

Awesome!

Bicycle_B

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1816
  • Mustachian-ish in Live Music Capital of the World
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #197 on: July 16, 2016, 07:08:46 PM »



I get that you're not an asshole, and it's OK that you aren't, but that doesn't mean you have to be the blood supply to a 200-pound mosquito.

LOL

+1

Bicycle_B

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1816
  • Mustachian-ish in Live Music Capital of the World
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #198 on: July 16, 2016, 07:57:25 PM »
Ok, caught up on the thread.  Good work, all. 

OP - consider looking for an opportunity to tell Jack "If you x" or "if you don't y", then "I'm not going to recommend you for that job at work."  He can't press you if you're proactively pushing him.  Plus you'll create a built-in excuse not to recommend him, ever.


Million2000

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 136
Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #199 on: July 18, 2016, 07:13:38 AM »
Whoa,  reading that,   I just got an earworm...


"I'm just a gigolo
everywhere I go
people know the part
I'm playing"....

http://www.lyricsdepot.com/david-lee-roth/just-a-gigolo.html
David Lee Roth..


Not exactly the same,  but how long until he wears out his current friends, and then starts looking for new "friends"..? hmmm....


ETA:  A new friend is having justified financial difficulties, (sudden loss of home and jobs) but instead of pulling herself up, or taking me up on my offer to help her help herself, thinks that "God will provide" and you don't have to do anything proactive yourself, other than pray.   

When she asked me for food, asking for items like frozen chicken strips (the good ones) and other pricey prepacked items and treats for her toddler...(who does NOT need them)...saying that she was worried about not having anything to eat (family of 5)....   well,  maybe I am miserely, but I went home, and split out in half my bulk rice, bulk potatoes, bulk sweet potatoes, onions, added a couple lbs of on sale bought ground meat, peanut butter jar, all my remaining oats, and generous amount of flour and cooking oil and some spices.. bulk apples... then added an extra cabbage and carrots, a jar of home made jam, for variety, and drove back to give it to her right away.

End of her requests for food from me, anyways..   I know she has asked others in the month(s) since, but never me again.

Awesome!

Goldielock's post reminds me of one of my cousins a few years back. My dad had just retired (forced due to health) and was waiting out the few months until Social Security kicked in while living on the modest pension his union had. I was in college and he helped me during that time even though he didn't have much. My youngest cousin was living in town (19 yo) and was calling up all the extended family to ask for money to buy food. She was living just like her mother, who had had a successful nursing career before she started stealing morphine and was fired. She has lived on welfare ever since. It's all my cousin knew growing up.

So when she started hitting up my dad for money, he became visibly agitated. I was home at the time and went with him to her apartment to give her all the loose change he had (just about all the cash he had at the time) and advised her to use it to buy bread and lunch meat so she could eat for several days. He had word that she was using the good charity from other family members to go to McDonald's and other fast food places to eat junk. It wasn't much (less than $10) but the point was made.  She never asked my dad for money again. In retrospect your idea would have been better at illustrating the point of simpler eating being cheaper and lasting longer.

To the larger discussion of this thread, I think cutting off a moocher early, giving them a dose of hard reality (the word "no"), and maintaining strength in the face of pity parties (and in some cases insults or accusations of cold hardheartedness/selfishness) are the best courses of action. Making reasonable, good faith pieces of advice is a great thing, especially if you truly care about the person, but ultimately you need to structure the relationship so their behavior doesn't impact your life. Great pieces of advice in this topic and I'm glad the OP's situation seems to be resolved...for now.